by Cora Reilly
“Stay away from her,” I hissed, but he seemed to find my threatening tone funny, and I blew. My voice rose. I was beyond caring if the others would hear. “And while you’re at it, stay away from me too. I don’t want anything to do with your fucked up world.”
Unfortunately Father heard, and so did probably everyone else in the room, and while Matteo didn’t seem to take my outburst to heart, Father’s scowl promised punishment. I had a feeling Matteo would have stopped him, if I’d asked for his help, but I didn’t want to be indebted to Matteo. I’d rather bear Father’s beatings.
CHAPTER SIX
Gianna
I hated having to involve Aria in any of this, but she was my last option. The biggest problem was actually asking her. I didn’t trust the phones. I wouldn’t put it past our father to rig them so he could keep an eye and ear on me. I had to ask her in person but as a punishment for my misstep at the engagement party I hadn’t been allowed to see Aria since our family’s Christmas party. But after weeks of begging, Lily and I had finally managed to convince Father to let Lily and me fly to New York for Lily’s birthday in April.
Lily was practically bouncing with excitement during our flight. I was still surprised how quickly she’d recovered from the horrible events of last September. I really hoped she wouldn’t be set back by being back in New York. She’d been avoiding Matteo and Luca the last few times we’d seen them but this time we’d be staying at Luca’s penthouse, so there was no way she could do it.
The moment we walked into the waiting hall buzzing with voices, I wanted to groan. Matteo stood beside Aria and Luca. I should have realized he would come. He seemed determined to ignore my antipathy. Sometimes I almost considered to give up on running away and to try to come to terms with my marriage to Matteo, but then there were the moments when he gave me that cocky grin like now, and then I wanted to run away as fast as my feet could carry me because I actually wanted to kiss him, despite what I’d seen him do in September.
Lily kept close to me. It was the only sign that she hadn’t forgotten what had happened almost seven months ago. She didn’t take my hand like she might have done a couple of years ago but her arm brushed mine as we walked toward Luca, Matteo and Aria. “Are you okay?” I whispered.
She jumped, flushing. “Yeah.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m fine.” She almost managed to hide her nerves from me. Aria ran toward us when we’d almost reached them and threw her arms around both of us. “I missed you so much.”
“We missed you too,” I whispered, kissing her cheek.
Lily beamed at both of us.
Aria shook her head. “You’re as tall as me now. I still remember when you didn’t want to go anywhere without holding my hand.”
Lily groaned. “Don’t say anything like that when Romero is around. Where is he anyway?”
I rolled my eyes, and Aria laughed. “He’s probably at his apartment.” Lily must have managed to get over her anxiety around Romero at some point. Puppy love turned you blind.
“Come on,” Aria said. “Let’s go.”
As expected, Lily turned shy again the moment we stood in front of the guys. My protective side wanted to step in front of her and shield her from everything, but I knew she’d be embarrassed if I did something like that. My gaze found Matteo’s eyes; they were warm; they were a normal guy’s eyes, and for an instant I wanted to believe the lie he was so good at telling, but I forced myself to break our staring contest.
“The birthday girl,” Matteo said with a smile at Lily, arms crossed over his chest. He looked so approachable and harmless, and I knew he was doing it on purpose because of Lily. Despite my best intentions not to, I felt grateful, and at the same time couldn’t help but wonder how he could be so kind and funny one moment, when he was capable of the horrible things I’d seen in September.
“Not yet,” Lily said, biting her lip. “Unless you have an early present for me.” I almost exploded with relief. I’d worried Lily would be as nervous as last time when she’d see Matteo, but he was a master manipulator and had her wrapped around his finger again.
“I like the way you think,” Matteo said with a wink. He took her suitcase, then held out his arm for her to take. She glanced between Matteo and me. “Won’t you carry Gianna’s luggage?”
“Luca can take care of it,” Matteo said, eyes dancing with mirth as they settled on me. Why did he have to be so…tolerable? If I didn’t know it any better, I’d say he had a suspicion I was trying to figure out a way to run away from our impending marriage.
I narrowed my eyes at him before turning to Lily. “Go on.”
She linked arms with Matteo and they walked ahead. Luca took my suitcase without a word before following after his brother and my younger sister. I fell back with Aria. “Maybe Father should have married Lily off to Matteo instead of me,” I said, only half-joking. She seemed to have no trouble getting along with him.
“Matteo needs someone like you, someone who talks back to him. I don’t think she could handle him.”
I snorted. “But you think I can?”
Aria searched my face. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Later,” I whispered, and she nodded with a glance toward Luca and Matteo.
***
I didn’t get the chance to talk to Aria until much later that day, and only because Luca and Matteo had business to conduct in their dance club ‘Sphere’. Romero was still there but Lily had convinced him to play Scrabble with her in the living room so he was occupied as I led Aria out onto the roof terrace despite the cold. Once we stood at the edge of the roof, she turned to me. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?”
I hesitated, suddenly feeling guilty for even considering to involve Aria. “I can’t do this, Aria. I want out. Out of this world. Out of my arranged marriage. Just out.”
Her face became still, blue eyes wide. “You want to run?”
The wind had picked up and tore at my hair, but I wasn’t certain if that was the only reason why I shivered. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I said, though sometimes doubt kept me awake at night. This was a huge step. “Ever since the Bratva attacked the mansion and I saw what Matteo is capable of, I knew I had to run.”
“It’s not just Matteo, you know that, right? He isn’t any worse than any other Made Men.”
“That makes it even worse. I know that pretty much all the men in our world are capable of horrible things, and one day even Fabi will be, and I hate it, hate every second I’m trapped in this messed up world.”
“I thought you and Matteo were getting along better. You didn’t try to rip each other’s head off today.”
“He’s trying to manipulate me. Didn’t you see how easily he could make Lily forget her nervousness around him?”
Aria shrugged. “It could be worse. Most men wouldn’t have forgiven you for giving him such a hard time, but he really seems to like you.”
Did he? I was never sure with Matteo. He was too good at hiding his emotions, at choosing the mask he wanted to show to the world. “Are you on his side?” I asked with a bit more force than I’d intended.
“I’m not on his side. I’m just trying to show you an alternative to running away.”
Stunned, I said, “Why? You know I’ve never wanted this life. Why are you trying to make me stay?”
Aria glared, gripping my wrist. “Because I don’t want to lose you, Gianna!”
“You won’t lose me.”
“Yes, I will. Once you’ve run away, we can’t ever see each other again, maybe not even talk unless we figure out a way to do it without risking the mob tracing you.”
Of course, in the back of my mind, I’d known that would be the result of my escape, but I’d pushed it aside, not able to bear the thought. “I know,” I whispered. “You could come with me.”
Aria parted her lips in surprise and even before she spoke I knew her answer. “I can’t.”
I
nodded, facing away from her and letting my gaze wander over New York. I blinked a few times. “Because you love Luca.”
She put her hand on mine. “Yes, but that’s not the only reason. I can’t leave Fabi and Lily behind either, and I’ve made peace with this life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m okay with it.”
Guilt crashed down on me. “Do you think I’m abandoning them if I leave?”
“They’ll understand. Not everyone is cut out for a life in this world. You’ve always wanted to live a normal life, and they’ll still have me. You have to think of yourself. I just want you to be happy.”
I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair. “I don’t think I can be happy here.”
“Because you don’t want to marry a killer, because you can’t live with what Matteo does.”
“No,” I said quietly. “Because I can see myself being okay with it.”
Aria drew back, pale brows drawn together. “What’s wrong with that?”
I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because I had a feeling that Aria wouldn’t have asked that question before Luca. “Are you okay with what Luca does? Don’t you ever lie awake at night feeling guilty for being married to a man like him?”
“We come from a family of men like him.” She stepped back, her arms dropping to her sides. “Do you want me to feel guilty?”
“No. But normal people would feel guilty. Can’t you see how messed up we are? I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to spend my life with a man who carves up his enemies.”
Aria stared but didn’t say anything. She looked so horribly sad and hurt that I wanted to kick myself hard for ever opening my stupid mouth.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I just…” I trailed off, not sure how to explain my conflicted emotions to Aria. “I know I have to risk it. I have to try to get away from all this and live a life without all the violence and messed up morals. I’ll always regret it if I don’t.”
“You know you can’t ever come back. There’s no going back once you’ve run. Even if Matteo would forgive you for insulting him like that, the Outfit would be responsible for your punishment until your marriage. And running away from the mafia is betrayal.”
“I know.”
“The Outfit punishes betrayal with death. Because you aren’t a Made Men they might decide to go easy on you and throw you into one of their whore houses or marry you off to someone far worse than Matteo.”
“I know.”
Aria gripped my shoulders. “Do you really? Few people risk running from the mob and there’s a reason for it. Most people get caught.”
“Most people but not all of them.”
“Have you ever heard of someone who escaped the mob successfully?”
“No, but I doubt anyone would tell us about them. Neither Father, nor Matteo or Luca have any interest in putting ideas in our heads.”
Aria sighed. “You are really determined to go through with this.”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” she said. This was the perfect moment to ask her for help but I realized I couldn’t do it, couldn’t ask that of her.
Of course Aria being Aria didn’t need to be asked.
“You can’t do it alone. If you want any chance at succeeding you’ll need my help.”
I stared at my sister, my beautiful, brave sister. I’d often thought we were twins who’d been born apart by some cruel twist of fate. She was the one person I’d die for. And if she’d asked me to stay, told me she couldn’t live without me, I wouldn’t even have hesitated. I’d have stayed, would have married Matteo. For her. But Aria would never ask that of me. Aria was the one thing that reminded me that there was good in our world too, and I hoped she’d never let the darkness around us corrupt her. “No,” I said firmly. “I can do it on my own.”
But Aria ignored my comment.
“If I help you to run, I’ll betray the Cosa Nostra and by doing so my husband,” she said with a distant look in her eyes.
I shook my head. “You are right. And I can’t let you take that risk. I won’t let you risk it.”
She linked her fingers with mine. “No, I will help you. I’m your only choice. And if anyone can make it, then it’s you. You never wanted to be part of all this.”
“Aria, you said it yourself, what I’m doing is betrayal and the mob deals harshly with people who betray them. Luca isn’t the forgiving type.”
“Luca won’t hurt me.” There wasn’t the hint of doubt in her voice. Sadly, I didn’t share her conviction. I opened my mouth to object but she raised her hand.
“He won’t. If Salvatore Vitiello were still alive, things would be different. I’d have been under his jurisdiction, but Luca is Capo and he won’t punish me.”
How could she trust that cruel bastard like that? What must it be like to love someone so much that you would put your life in their hands without hesitation? “Maybe his men won’t leave him a choice. He’s a new Capo and if he looks weak, his men might revolt. Luca won’t risk his power, not even for you. The Familia comes first to Made Men.”
I was talking to a wall from the impact I was making on Aria. “Trust me,” she said simply.
“I trust you. It’s Luca whom I don’t trust.”
“And if you think about it, I wouldn’t really be betraying the Familia. You are still part of the Outfit until you marry Matteo. That means what I’m doing is a betrayal of the Outfit at most, but I’m not bound to them, so I can’t betray them.”
“Be that as it may. Luca might not see it that way. Even if you aren’t betraying the Familia, you’re still going behind Luca’s back. Not to mention that Matteo will probably move heaven and earth to find me.”
“True,” Aria said slowly. “He’ll hunt you.”
“He’ll eventually lose interest.”
Aria looked doubtful. “Perhaps. But I wouldn’t count on it. We have to make sure he can’t find you.”
Above us the sky was turning dark gray, the first signs of an impending rainstorm. If I were superstitious, I’d probably see it as a bad omen. “Aria, I shouldn’t have come to you with this. You can’t get involved.”
Aria rolled her eyes. It was such a me-thing to do that I couldn’t help but smile despite the severity of our conversation.
“Don’t try to talk me out of it. I’d feel guilty if I didn’t help you and you got caught,” she said firmly.
“And I will feel guilty if you get in trouble for helping me.”
“I’m helping you. End of story.”
“How can I ever make it up to you?”
“Just be happy, Gianna. Live the life you want, that’s all I want.”
That was to typically Aria. If anyone deserved a life outside of this fucked up world, it would be her. I pressed my lips together, fighting tears. “Shit.”
Aria smiled. “Come on. We need to figure out when and how to get you away.”
“I suppose it’s a bit too late to give it a try during this visit?” I forced a smile, wanting to get rid of the heavy feeling in my chest.
“Yeah. But you’ll definitely have to run when you are in New York. You’ll never escape from Father’s men.”
Sadly, she was right. Father didn’t let me out of sight for a second. He didn’t trust me. The only thing missing from my prison were leg irons. “But Romero is always around.”
Aria and I both glanced toward the living room where Lily was laughing at something Romero must have said. She looked so happy. “I think we can get him off our back,” Aria said.
“Next time Lily won’t be around to distract him. I don’t want her to know about this.”
Aria nodded. “I’ll figure something out. I tricked him once before. I can do it again. Luca trusts me. Romero doesn’t follow me as much as he did in the beginning.”
Guilt twisted my insides again but I ignored it. “I have to get a passport so I can leave the country. I’ll never be safe in the States.”
“You sho
uld go to Europe.”
“I’ve always wanted to visit Sicily,” I joked.
Aria cracked up. “Yeah, that sounds like a foolproof plan.”
“I need money. Maybe I can find out where Father keeps his stack of cash.”
“No, he’d notice. We’ll have to take Luca’s money. If we wait until the last minute before we take it, he won’t notice until it’s too late.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
Aria nodded but there was a flicker of hesitation in her eyes.
“Maybe we can get money from somewhere else. I could ask one of the credit sharks for a loan. It’s not like I’ll be around for them to get it back,” I said quickly.
Aria shook her head at once. “All the credit sharks either belong to the Familia or to the Bratva. That would be the quickest way to get caught.”
“I know I can’t ask the Familia, but what about the Russian credit sharks? I don’t have to announce to them who I am. I could pretend I was some random girl with financial troubles.”
Aria seemed to consider that but then she shook her head. “It’s too risky. Those guys are dangerous.”
Memories I’d tried to bury resurfaced like a tidal wave. I’d been terrified when the Russians had attacked the mansion. I’d been sure we’d die a horrible death, sure we’d be raped and tortured. I really didn’t want anything to do with the Bratva ever again but Aria didn’t need to know how much the images of that day still bothered me. Most of the time I managed to lock them away, and once I was in Europe, away from the world, they’d hopefully disappear for good. “Aria, you are married to the man all those dangerous guys are scared of.”
“And you are engaged to the man who cuts those dangerous guys up,” she said. “But the Russians are worse than our men. They don’t have any honor.”
I wasn’t sure if that was possible, but I wasn’t in the mood for that argument. “Okay, so no loan sharks, but what about a forged passport? I’ll have to get that from somewhere. Is there anyone we could bribe?”
Another gust of wind tore at us, raising goose-bumps all over my body. Aria moved closer to me until we huddled together. “No one will go against Luca.”