by Vivian Wood
“Cameron,” she said, turning to look him in the eye as she pushed him away. “This is not what I want. Sex is not a game to me.”
A dark cloud flickered over Cameron’s features, puzzlement perhaps.
“Who says this is a game?” he asked.
“You can’t even help it, I can see that,” Alex said, wresting from his grasp. “You’re just all smooth lines and teasing and coaxing. But this is a partnership, for political reasons, not some… I don’t even know. You’re using me, I’m using you. That’s all good and well, but I don’t want to be a notch on your bedpost, okay?”
Cameron gave her a look of disbelief.
“Okay, two things. First of all, you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now. We’re attracted to each other, we’re going to be mates. There is literally no other reason for me to come on to you,” he said, his rapidly-growing anger apparent. Alex hadn’t seen him angry before, another little reminder that she barely knew him. He could have a homicidal temper, for all she knew. She was making the right choice, without question.
“And the second thing?” she challenged, leveling him with her gaze.
“Second, you really do have a short memory. If I had notches, you’d already be one,” he said.
Alex’s jaw dropped.
“You are such an asshole!” she snapped, grabbing her pillow and smacking him in the face with it.
“Hey, hey!” he said, raising his hands.
“I’m going to go sleep in the living room,” she said, making to rise.
“My parents are probably watching a movie. By all means, go crash their party,” Cameron said, cocking a brow.
Alex stilled, fury pounding in her veins. How dare he call her a notch in his bedpost, and then trap her into sleeping next to him?
“Fine,” she ground out. “I’m going to sleep, then. If you touch me, I will break every single one of your fingers. See how much game you have then.”
Ignoring Cameron’s disbelieving huff, Alex lay down and tucked her pillow under her head, rolling so that she didn’t have to look at him. She lay there and steamed, even after Cameron turned off the light, even after his deep, heavy breathing filled the air, the steady rhythm lulling her senses.
Hours or days or years later, Alex finally drifted off, still pissed beyond measure.
78
Eight
After a quiet breakfast with his parents, Cam settled in a rocking chair on the front porch, sipping coffee and brooding as he admired the Lodge’s scenic views. Alex hadn’t so much as stirred when he woke that morning, despite the fact that her arms and legs had been tangled around his body as she clung to him in her sleep. He’d slipped from her embrace and out of bed, leaving her to sleep in. The hours stretched, and it was nearly noon before she made an appearance.
The front door opened, and Cam turned his head to find Alex stepping out onto the porch. She was barefoot, wearing a t-shirt and yoga pants, her hair tousled in a sexy way. She did seem to have on some makeup, he thought, but otherwise she looked casual in a way that he admired. Usually Alex was so put-together, as if she could keep out the world with enough lipstick and a frilly dress.
“Hey,” she said when she spotted him.
“Hey, yourself. I see you found the coffee,” he said, his lips turning up at the corners.
“I have a built-in coffee radar. It’s essential to my survival,” she joked, coming over and taking the rocking chair next to his. She set her steaming coffee cup down on the low table between their chairs, folding her legs up and rocking herself with a pleased smile. She also had a thin stack of printed pages, which she sat face-down on the table.
“I can’t start the day without coffee either,” Cam said. “Nor would I want to.”
“God, it’s really pretty out here,” Alex said, taking in the gently rolling hills with that sharp cobalt gaze of hers. When she turned to pin him with her gaze, Cam actually repressed a shiver. “Where are your parents?”
“Ma made Pa take her into Billings for the day. She needed some stuff for the party tomorrow, and she wanted someone to carry all the shopping bags. I think Gavin and Faith went, too.”
Alex nodded, turning back to the scenery and sipping her coffee.
“I can’t imagine getting to grow up somewhere like this,” she said, her tone wistful. “Big house, big family, big wilderness. You’re really lucky, you know?”
Cam was struck by the fierceness in her words, almost bordering on anger.
“You grew up in the city in Philadelphia, right?” he asked, curious. “That doesn’t sound too bad.”
“Not bad at all. Very different, though.”
“No siblings?”
“No. My mom, my adoptive mom that is, she couldn’t have kids of her own. They never talked about adopting another kid, either. My parents were too busy, I think. I never lacked for anything, but they weren’t around a lot.”
“Yeah, I guess doctors would have hectic schedules,” Cam agreed. “Ma stayed home with us. Keeping six sons in line was pretty time consuming.”
“That’s what I want to do, eventually,” Alex said, taking Cam by surprise. “I mean, I’d still work from home, but I want to be present for my kids. Go to all their school events and stuff.”
“Really? I didn’t know that,” Cam said, looking over to take her measure.
“I guess there’s still a lot of stuff we need to talk about,” she said with a sigh. “That’s actually what I came out here for. I have a document to show you.”
She picked up the sheaf of papers and handed them over for Cam’s perusal. Another surprise, it seemed; Alex had given him a contract. He flipped through the pages, finding a very thoroughly laid-out overview of her marital and financial expectations. Everything was fair and equal, protecting both their interests, but Cam found himself dismayed.
“I don’t know what to say about this,” he told her. “I mean, the money stuff looks fine. We both retain control of our assets and earnings, pay equally for anything we both own…”
“I asked my lawyer to draft this, and to be very fair about it.”
“This part under the marital obligations… It says ‘keep any extramarital affairs private and discreet’.”
“Yes,” Alex affirmed.
“Why would you put that in here?” Cam asked, confused.
“Because it’s what I want. My parents’ closest friends were a couple that I knew well. He cheated, rubbed her nose in it, and it ruined them. I wouldn’t like to go through that, no matter what our arrangement might be.”
“Arrangement,” Cam repeated.
“Yes,” Alex said again, turning her head to hide her expression.
“Alex, look at me,” Cam demanded. She turned to him, something bitter in her eyes.
“I’m just trying to protect myself,” she said.
“I don’t think you really understand what’s happening here. There’s a whole section in this contract that covers ‘marital dissolution’.”
“Yeah. It’s standard for any prenuptial agreement,” she said, shifting in her seat.
“There’s no ‘dissolution’ in mateship. There’s one man and one woman, forever. This stuff about affairs and divorce… That’s not part of the bargain, ever. When we have our ceremony, that’s it. You and me and our family, no one else,” Cam explained.
“I wouldn’t hold you to that. I thought I was clear on that point,” Alex said, dropping her gaze.
“And maybe I wasn’t clear. Once we do this, we’ll really do it, the whole thing. I wouldn’t be pursuing you or trying to seduce you otherwise.”
“Cameron—” she started.
“Cam. You’re going to be my mate, call me Cam,” he insisted.
“Cam, then. We’ve discussed this as a business arrangement. And maybe it could be more, eventually. We’re attracted to each other, and we seem to want the same things when it comes to a family,” she said, blushing a little. “But right now, it just… is what it is.”
> “I can’t sign this,” Cam said, setting down the contract. “It’s not what I believe in.”
“We need something on paper. It’s just… it’s what people do.”
“Not Berserkers,” Cam said. He stared off into the distance, his mind reeling. He’d known that Alex was all brass tacks, but now she was taking it too far. Did she really believe in him so little? Then again, they didn’t have enough history for her to know anything more of him than face value.
There was silence between them for a while, both sipping their coffee and rocking in their chairs, trapped in their own thoughts.
“Take out the marital clauses, and I’ll sign it,” Cam said after a bit. “If you need something on paper, I can sign the rest.”
Alex gave him a level look, then nodded.
“Okay. Do you have a printer here? I can have my lawyer email over a new contract tomorrow.”
“Yeah. My dad’s got a nice setup in his office. Shouldn’t be a problem,” Cam told her.
Alex pursed her lips and stared into her coffee cup. She seemed at a loss for how to continue, so Cam decided to lighten the mood a little.
“Hey, we should go for a run later. Let our bears out together. It’s beautiful out here at night, tons of stars. I think the moon is almost full, too. I have a good spot where we can watch the meteor shower,” Cam suggested.
Alex turned to him with the hint of a smile.
“I’d like that,” she said.
They sat like that until dusk, only rising to refill their coffee cups and heat up a tray of Ma’s lasagna for dinner. They talked about the future a little more, skirting the topics of mating or contracts, just enjoying one another’s company. Alex told him about her hobbies, that she liked day hikes and photography, that she even developed her own photographs at a friend’s dark room. Cam confided that he spent his free time working out and exploring Chicago’s night life, trying out new bars and restaurants, seeing shows featuring local songwriters.
Alex gave him a little more background about her family and her adoption, even a little about the string of foster homes where she was placed before the Hansards had adopted her. When she told him that Alfred England knew about her from birth and let her languish in foster care anyway, the bitterness in her tone turned Cam’s stomach to molten lead. His fists clenched when he thought about how different things could have been for Alex if her Alpha father was less of a shithead.
The most resonant thing Alex revealed was that she’d only recently started shifting regularly, since she’d somehow kept her Berserker tendencies a secret from her friends and foster parents. Cam was floored, since he couldn’t imagine a life in which he didn’t shift and run free regularly; his bear was half his damned personality, as far as he was concerned.
Alex left Cam mid-evening to take a nap, and Cam found that he was glad for the solitude. He sifted through the many issues they still needed to tackle, trying to sort out the best approach to take from here on out. After some serious consideration, he determined that he should woo Alex a little more, try to present some of his better qualities so she would see him in a better light.
Though he was honestly attracted to her body and personality, he didn’t want her to go into something as serious as mateship without feeling the same about him. He’d let her label their budding relationship any way she liked, but he wouldn’t go through with it unless he knew he could make her happy in the long term.
At ten o’clock he packed a blanket, a few pieces of clothing, a bottle of wine, and a light snack in a picnic basket. He made the short trek out to a spot that his family called the bluff, finding his way there with ease after a lifetime of visits. It was only a fifteen minute hike from the house, a natural high point created by a rocky outcropping that gave a stunning, expansive view of the glimmering Montana night sky.
He returned to the house, stepping inside to find a puzzled-looking Alex awaiting him.
“Oh, there you are,” she said, her relief evident. “I looked all over for you and decided you were dead.”
Cam chuckled and shook his head.
“Nope. Just getting ready for our late night date,” he said.
Her lips twitched and she eyed him curiously.
“Is it that time, then?” she asked, checking her ever-present wristwatch.
“Yep. And you should leave that watch here with your clothes,” he said.
Alex quirked a brow, and Cam’s smile grew into a devilish grin.
“I’m not sure I approve of this plan, though I don’t know the details,” she said.
“You worry too much. Let’s go outside and shift. I want to run a bit before the meteor shower,” he said, waving her outside. Alex demanded that they face away from each other as they stripped their clothes off and shifted, leaving Cam to wonder if she was more sensitive about him seeing her naked or seeing her shift. By her own admission she didn’t shift often, and it seemed unlikely that she usually did it in front of others.
When he finished his shift and turned to face her, she took his breath away. She was a stunning brown bear, her coat glossy, the chestnut color on her head, back, and chest darkening near her feet. Cam gave her a moment to take in his massive Grizzly form before he chuffed, sniffing and nosing her back leg, beckoning her to follow him.
Cam set an easy pace, ambling in a mile-long arc that took them way around the Lodge and close to the bluff. Alex kept up with him without a hint of trouble, even when he pushed into a sprint for the last quarter of a mile. He was surprised at her speed and stamina, having trouble imagining stylish, no-hair-out-of-place Alex hitting the gym and sweating like a plebeian, but she was definitely in shape. Her effortlessly chic persona must take more work than she let people see.
When they climbed the last steps up to the bluff, Cam shifted first, not minding if Alex got a good look of his naked body. He worked hard for it, just as she did with her style, and he appreciated admiration from a gorgeous lady. Alex more than fit the description, too.
He knelt by the picnic basket and pulled out two of his t-shirts and two sets of pajama pants, including one he’d filched from her suitcase when she’d been in the shower. He slipped into a pair of soft flannel pants first, then walked back to hand her a set of clothes. He winked at her, not missing the fact that her gaze was hot on his bare torso.
Cam turned his back to give her privacy, returning to the picnic basket to put on his own shirt and spread out the thick wool blanket he’d brought. Alex stepped onto the blanket a moment later, her lips quirked in a smile.
“Is this our date, then?” she asked.
“It is. Hope you weren’t looking for something fancier,” he said with a grin.
“This is quite romantic, Cam,” she said, sounding a little surprised.
“Hey. I can be suave,” he defended.
“Oh, I bet you can,” she said, her smile fading a bit.
“Jesus. You’re the only girl I’d ever bring out here. Have a little faith in me, okay?” Cam shook his head at her dogged belief that he was playing her the way she seemed to think he had done so many others.
“Sorry,” she said, but her shrug said that her feelings hadn’t changed a bit.
Damn. Cam had hoped to seduce her tonight, get her naked under the starlight, but now he knew he still needed to keep things light. Apparently his reputation continued to precede him, and he needed to show Alex that he wasn’t a man-slut. If he were honest with himself, his reputation was at least a little well-earned.
“Alright. Let’s see what we’ve got here. Come sit with me,” he urged. He unpacked the picnic basket, pulling out two bottles, clear plastic cups, and a selection of meats, cheeses, toast points, and other niceties that he’d laid out on a wooden cutting board.
“Now we’re getting fancy!” Alex said, her smile returning.
“Well, I can’t do a four-course meal out here, but I figured snacks are always a bonus on a date. I also brought a bottle of wine and a bottle of sparkling apple juice.”
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“Apple juice, huh?” Alex said, giving him a curious look.
“I noticed you weren’t all about the red wine at dinner last night, and I don’t have a decent white to offer you. My father hates white wine and refuses to have it in the house for the most part.”
“Ah, I see. Well, let’s have some juice. It looks pretty fancy,” she said, amused.
Cam popped the bottle and poured it into their glasses, and they tapped their glasses together before they took a sip.
“Let’s see. There’s prosciutto, coppa, mortadella,” he said, pointing to each item on the cutting board. “And goat cheese, brie, some kind of heirloom cheddar, fig jam, olives, and some weird pickles that my mother makes.”
“Looks like giardiniera,” Alex said.
“Yeah, that sounds right. I have no idea how you know what that is,” Cam said with a chuckle.
“They put it on Italian beef sandwiches. The question is, how do you live in Chicago and not know that?” Alex asked.
“Agh, those things always look disgusting. People have to like, eat over the counter and lean their bodies away so they aren’t covered in sandwich juice. It’s undignified.”
Alex threw her head back and laughed.
“God, we’re going to rectify that when we get back to Chicago. You can wear a t-shirt and jeans, and just go for it,” she said, her big navy eyes shimmering with mirth.
“Well, for now…” Cam said, rolling his eyes and stacking some meat and cheese on a toast point.
“Mmmm,” Alex said. “This goat cheese is incredible.”
“Yeah, it’s from the neighbors if you’d believe it,” Cam said.
They snacked for a few minutes, teasing one another, before Alex saw the first shooting star.
“Omigod!” she squeaked, pointing. “Look, look! Oh, there’s another!”
Cam nodded and sipped his sparkling juice, watching the stars as they burst and screamed across the darkened sky.
“They’re so beautiful,” Alex whispered, tilting her head back and leaning back to watch. Her fiery red hair hung in thick, tumbled waves over her shoulders and down her back, the pale column of her throat exposed. Her position pushed up her incredible breasts, and when Cam was able to tear his eyes from her chest, he was caught all over again by her plump, pink lips.