by Tamara White
I shake my head and begin stripping down. Then I hop in the shower, hoping it will help clear my head, but it's impossible. There have just been so many questions today. What the fuck is happening to my life?
Twenty-One
“Where is she? You keep saying you’ll bring her to me, yet here you are once again without the girl.” The rage in the man’s voice makes me cower in my hiding spot. Shadows surround me and I find myself wondering what this place is.
I see a smaller, more human-shaped shadow crouched low to the ground. When the form looks up, I’m surprised to see Justin’s face. What is he doing here?
“I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”
The man bends down, touching Justin’s cheek. “No, it won’t.”
It's been two days since the incident with the mysterious stranger from my dreams. I don't know if I dreamed the events of that night as well, but if I did, it was a really convincing dream.
"Val, what are you doing?" Carter's voice brings me out of my memories and I look over to see him smiling at me.
I ended up staying home from classes yesterday and today. The guys understood I needed some time and when I explained to Cassandra that I was staying home, she seemed to know why. That just made me feel even more awkward about the whole situation.
But little do they know, I have even more pressing concerns on my mind. My father refuses to answer my calls, which worries me. If he is dealing with my mother, I have the right to know. I want to ask Cassandra, but I have no idea whether or not she knows. And if she does, it hurts me knowing I can’t trust her to tell me the truth.
I need answers. I want to know exactly what happened and why.
The hole in my heart where Nat used to be feels like it has grown exponentially in the past few days. The more I think about her death, the worse it hurts.
Carter caught me just as I was thinking about going out to the garden Jaxson showed me. I need to block out some of my pain and find some peace, but I really don’t want to be alone right now.
“Hey. Sorry, just thinking. I was about to head to the garden. Do you want to come with me?" I ask, grabbing a jacket as he walks into my bedroom.
On Sunday, the guys put my bed back to normal. They haven’t said anything about it, but they kept the spare mattress up against the wall behind the sofa. Clearly, they plan to use it again. Oh well. It doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine with leaving it there.
I pause, watching the way he leans against the door, dressed in sweats and a tank top. His arms bulge out of his shirt and I can't help but admire the strength he projects.
“You see something you like, Val?"
I blush, knowing that he caught me staring. It’s hard not to, though, especially when I know they want me to be with all of them. Carter is the only one who hasn’t made a move. I don’t know whether he will now, or if he’ll leave me be until I make up my mind.
"Come on, Val. I’ll take you," he says, shaking his head with a chuckle. I quickly follow after him, thankful that he didn't comment further on my perusal.
He leads me out of the pool house and over to a car I haven't seen before, a bright red convertible of some kind. After we get in and buckle up, he speeds off down the drive. This must be his car. I know they each have their own vehicles, but his surprises me. It’s quite ostentatious.
As we drive, the wind rushes through my hair and I can’t help the smile that crosses my face. I glance over to him and see the small smirk on his lips. “Having fun?” he calls out.
I nod, feeling great. “Yeah. Driving like this is amazing.” It feels like I’m flying.
We make it to the gym in no time and Carter parks the car, before turning to me. He grins at me as if amused by what he sees. I reach up, then blush when I realize how messy my hair is. With my fingers, I comb it back to a semblance of normalcy.
Carter reaches out and takes hold of my hand as I move to get out of the car. I turn back to see him watching me with a serious expression. “I know this must be confusing for you, Val, but please don’t shut me out. If you decide you aren’t interested, then we will back off, I promise. But first and foremost, I want to be your friend. Even if you need to vent about me, I’m happy to listen.” Then he winks at me and I can’t help but grin.
This is the Carter I want to be around. My friend. How much would things change if I agreed to their proposal? Would he still be my friend, or would everything completely change? I think that’s what scares me most.
We are all close now and I worry a relationship could ruin all that.
“I know, Carter. I think I’ve made a decision but I need time to organize my thoughts. I need to decide what kind of boundaries or rules we would need to have. I guess it’s just the fine details I’m worrying over. I love you guys as friends and I’m scared to lose that,” I admit, looking down as he rubs his thumb across the back of my hand.
“I understand that.” He smiles and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go inside. Maybe the garden will give you the answers you need.”
I smile as he lets go of my hand and rushes around the car to open the door for me. I hold back my smirk at the sight. The chivalrous behavior of all these brothers makes me wonder just what Cassandra instilled in them as they were growing up. They are so respectful and courteous of women, which is a good thing, but unusual in this day and age. Or maybe it’s just my own bad experiences that make me think that way.
After I’m out of the car, he closes the door and places a hand on the small of my back. Then he leads me to the front doors and into the gym.
He keeps his hand in place as we make our way towards the back of the gym. It’s not too crowded today which I’m thankful for.
As we walk, I can feel the excitement building inside me. I’m looking forward to having some peace and quiet so I can let my mind wander as I draw. I find that drawing helps me make sense of the world around me and gives me a sense of clarity.
Carter stops when we reach the door leading to the garden and removes his hand from the small of my back. "I'm going to stay out here with Derek.” Then he bends down and places a kiss on my cheek. I try not to let the surprise show at the sudden tender gesture. I watch as he starts walking backwards away from me, calling out, “Oh, and Jax will be here in about an hour, so I suggest if you don't want him to bother you that you lock the door."
With that, he turns away and struts over to the boxing ring where I see Derek helping a man get his boxing gloves on.
I reach up and press a hand to my cheek where the feel of Carter’s lips lingers and watch as he greets Derek as if they’ve known each other forever. As they talk, Carter gestures over to me and Derek waves in my direction. I wave back and then hurry into the back room, hoping to avoid questions. Preparing for the darkness ahead, I reach out and touch the wall before closing the door behind me. I use my hands on the wall to guide me down the declining path. At least this time, I know what to expect. As I get closer, the light starts to grow and I already feel the beginnings of peace working its way through me.
Then I hit the door and stumble a little, smiling at my actions. I knew the door was coming, but I was still caught unaware.
Swinging the door open, I walk inside and take in a deep breath. It's a little cooler than I remember it being last time. The couch looks the same, however, and my eyes immediately go to the notebook Jaxson left on the table.
Curiosity makes me want to open it, but I fight the urge. It would be a violation of his privacy to even think about reading his personal thoughts. I don’t know how personal his stories are. I know some people write about their personal life, while others write complete fantasy. Maybe if I asked him to read it to me it would be okay, though?
Instead, I open the drawer in the table and find my sketch pad and pencils waiting for me.
I sink down into the couch. That’s when I notice the jacket Jaxson must have left behind. I pick it up and wrap it around my now bare feet to keep them warm. Then I settle in and start
to sketch, letting my heart draw whatever it needs.
Hours later, I flip back the pages, surprised by what I’ve drawn. The first few pages seem to be of me with each of the guys doing mundane things.
Carter and I are sitting back on the edge of the pool laughing. My hair flows in a non-existent breeze as he watches me, a look of longing in his eyes. He stares at me so intently in the image, while I seem to be completely oblivious of his feelings.
The picture of Zane is of him sitting at the bar in the kitchen of the main house while I cook something on the stove. He’s watching me with desire in his eyes. Then I turn the page and see us in the kitchen again, but this time he’s behind me as I cook with his arms wrapped around my waist. I’ve leaned my head back into his chest and his is buried in the crook of my neck.
The following page is a drawing of me and Cooper cradled together in bed, his hand cupping my cheek as I sleep. The pain in his expression makes tears well up in my eyes. Why does he look so tortured?
Following that are two images of Jax and I sitting in this very room, the glow from the various plants casting us in a magical light. In the first drawing, Jax is writing in his notebook with tears running down his face while I have my back turned to him, refusing to meet his eyes. But in the second picture, we’re looking into each other’s eyes as he reads to me from his notebook, and I’m openly crying. I see pain in my eyes, but I see something else as well. Something I never dreamed I would. The beginnings of love.
Turning the page, I expect to find a blank sheet of paper, but instead I see something that has a gasp slipping from my lips.
It’s the stranger who saved me, the one called himself Hades. In the image, he stands tall and proud, his shirtless body giving me pause. On his arms, the tattoos are even more pronounced than they were in real life and I curse myself for not getting a closer look when I had the chance. In my drawing, though, his right arm has script running the length of it. Some kind of poem maybe? It’s impossible to know since it’s not in any language I recognize.
The other arm is covered in an image of a man holding a trident. I notice his chest is tattooed with a massive three-headed dog and I can’t help the giggle that slips free. Trust me to draw a person who calls himself Hades with a three-headed dog on his chest.
The door to the room opens and I look up from the picture to see Jaxson. His amber eyes meet mine and a smile crosses my face. “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” he asks, gesturing to the empty seat beside me.
I smile up at him. “Of course not, Jax.”
He grins and sits down next to me. Then he wraps an arm over my shoulders, providing me with a bit of extra warmth, which I’m grateful for. The room is still cool, despite the fact I’m wearing my own jacket and using his to keep my feet warm.
He looks down at the picture I was drawing and frowns. “Who’s this?”
I hesitate for a moment, unsure what to say. For some reason, I feel like I shouldn’t tell him about the man from my dreams, but I don’t want us keeping secrets from each other.
“Uh, this is the guy who saved me from being hit by a car Sunday afternoon. He said his name was Hades, but I think he was just messing with me. Why, do you happen to know him?”
Jax is silent as he pursues the picture, running his finger over it gently as if afraid it might bite. “No, I don’t think so.”
He leans back and looks up at the ceiling for a moment. I set my sketch pad off to the side and watch him, wondering what he’s thinking about so intently. “What’s wrong, Jax?”
He sighs as he turns to meet my eyes. “What happened on Sunday afternoon that led to you needing to be saved from getting hit by a car? And why didn’t you say anything before now? Did you purposely try to kill yourself after we left you?”
The pain in his voice has me reaching out to grip his hand. “Shit. No, it’s nothing like that. My friends told me something that really threw me for a loop. They think my mom had something to do with Natalie’s death, or disappearance, whatever it was. After hearing that, I went out into the storm in need of peace and before I knew it, I found myself on the road with a car veering straight at me. Then I just froze. I thought I was going to die, but then I was tackled by this man and we both fell into the ditch on the side of the road.”
I leave out the bit about me being miraculously healed and transported back to the pool house in the blink of an eye. I’m still not sure if that really happened or if I just imagined it. Maybe I didn’t hurt myself at all? Maybe I just blacked out on the walk up the road and dreamed the whole thing? I don’t know for certain, but I do know is I can’t just go around telling people I think I saw magic. That would get me locked up in asylum faster than you could say ‘crazy.’
He sighs heavily and rests his head against mine. “Fuck, Valerie. You should have told us. I would have never left you alone if I knew you were upset. I never wanted for you to get hurt.”
“I’m fine,” I reassure him. “Not even a scratch on me. Come on, I’m done for the day. You want to go grab something to eat? Carter is probably still out there. I’m sure he must be getting hungry by now.”
“Sure thing, Val.” Jaxson gets to his feet and pulls the jacket off my feet with a small smirk. He shrugs it on as I get to my feet, slipping my shoes back on with a smile.
I like that he is acting as if there isn’t this big thing hanging over us. It makes it easier to be around him without feeling so self-conscious. He takes my hand in his and we walk back through the tunnel-like corridor together.
Jaxson leaves me just outside the door to go grab Carter, who is now boxing against someone I don’t recognize. Derek chooses that moment to come up beside me. “So, Valerie? You get some of that yet?” he asks with a smirk in his voice.
I fight the blush that rises to my cheeks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I avoid his gaze, focusing instead on Jax and Carter as they make their way to me. I move forward to meet them, only sparing Derek a quick glance when the three of us reach the exit. The knowing smile on his face leaves me wondering if he knows exactly what the brothers are into.
Carter and I climb into the convertible and wave goodbye to Jax, who brought his own car. As we take off, I remember to ask something I was thinking about earlier. “Hey, are the others coming with us to get food?’
Carter glances over at me with a small smile. “Nah. Jax and I wanted some time with you. Figured it might be easier for you too.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and sink into the seat. I didn’t want to say anything, but I’m thankful for his consideration. I think until I’m ready to tell them that I accept their proposition, I need avoid being overwhelmed by their combined presence.
Twenty-Two
We ended up stopping at a small café in the mall. The guys didn’t want to go anywhere too extravagant. Carter just wanted a burger and he claimed this place had one of the best. I have to admit, he was not wrong. I fell in love with the bacon burger and was seriously contemplating ordering another to take home.
I laugh at Carter, who is cradling his stomach as if it’s about to explode. Then I’m jostled from the side out of nowhere.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” I growl and look up to meet the culprit, freezing when I meet Justin’s gray eyes. I texted him yesterday to tell him I wasn’t feeling well and that I was taking a few days off from classes. I only said I was ill because I didn’t want to have to launch into an explanation about how I was possibly considering a relationship with my new stepbrothers. Plus, I was a little wary about being alone with him after what happened at his party. I saw a whole new side to him that night, and I have no idea how he is going to react to finding out I’m in a relationship with all four of my stepbrothers—if it happens, that is.
His eyes pass me over and there’s a blankness to his expression. “So I see you were well enough to come out with them, but too sick to see me?” He looks between Jax and Carter who are standing behind me, watching silently.
Then his gaze swings back to me and his lip curls up in disgust. “If that’s the way you want things, then fine. Lose my number.”
He turns and walks off into the mall without a backward glance at me. I don’t even realize I’ve started to tear up until Carter slips his hand into mine, whispering in my ear, “He’s not worth it, babe.”
I nod and turn my head away, not wanting to see the sympathy that I’m sure he and Jax are giving off in waves. “Can we please just go home? I’m done with today.” I sigh, my head dropping in defeat. I didn’t want to hurt Justin’s feelings, but I’ve gone and done exactly that.
Maybe I should give him a few days to cool off before I try to talk to him again. I really don’t want to lose him as a friend. He’s been amazing since I’ve been here, well, other than the night at his party.
“Sure thing, Val. Do you want to come with me or Jax?”
“With you, please.”
Jax gives me a kiss on the cheek before taking off, then I climb into Carter’s car. I picked Carter because I know he will either leave me alone or try to distract me. Plus, the feeling of the wind in my hair would feel nice right now. It made me feel free and I really need that right now. To be free and just forget about everything.
Last night, Carter dropped me off at the door to the pool house before leaving me to my thoughts. I was still confused about how to deal with Justin and how to figure out what I needed from the guys. The more I thought about their proposition, the more excited I became. My only lingering question concerns other women. Am I the first? Or am I just one in a long line of women they have made this proposition to?