by Kai Strand
“I didn’t even win the competition,” I say. As if that will make all of this attention go away.
“What?” Cyn’s tone is shrill. “That’s bullshit! That was the best speech ever. I cried like a baby.”
“Did you really?” My heart swells with love for my best friend.
“And you are such a great friend. Why would you ever worry that you aren’t enough? Holy crap, Lol, I couldn’t have survived my screw up without you.” Tears are falling from both our eyes now, so we hug.
Jay wraps his long arms around both of us. “God, I love you guys.”
I laugh through my tears as I pull out of the group embrace. “And by love, you mean—as the good friends we are—right?”
Jay’s smile is tinged with sadness, but it’s also filled with something else. Maybe acceptance. Or just an overabundance of fondness, I can’t tell.
“That’s exactly what I mean. That part about you being loyal and forgiving…? Yeah, I might have teared up a little too.”
“Thanks, Jay.” I see the halls emptying out fast. “We’d better get going. The bell’s about to ring.”
The three of us walk off in three different directions. I feel conspicuous as I enter my Lit class. My hair is still pulled into a facelift bun and for some reason it feels like I’ve done it for the attention instead of the fact that it would look like crap if I let it down because of the copious amount of hairspray coating it.
A few of the kids congratulate me on my speech, but most haven’t seen it yet. Miss Bell walks into the room with our teacher Mr. Mudgeon and I know that’s about to change. She smiles when she sees me, her eyes sparking with a knowing expression. Mr. Mudgeon pulls down the screen and I brace myself. There is something very different about having an audience watch you give a speech and being in the audience watching yourself give a speech.
“Class, do you know our Speech Advisor, Miss Bell? She’s here to show you the fantastic speech our very own Lola Renaldi delivered earlier today and to make an announcement.”
I assume the announcement is about Darnell winning second place in debate and moving on to the state competition, so I sit back and look forward to seeing my speech.
“As Mr. Mudgeon said, Lola gave a powerful speech today at the competition. It won her a third place honor. We were a little surprised it didn’t place higher, which would have allowed her to perform it at the state speech competition next month. Let’s watch so you can see what I mean.”
Miss Bell steps to the side of the room and a kid turns the lights off. Mr. Mudgeon has already navigated to our YouTube page and clicks on the link to my speech. Nerves beat like bat wings in my stomach.
I watch myself walk across the stage to my spot and think Cyn is crazy. The black clothing is exactly the drama I’d hoped it would be. Then the lights go out and the spotlight blinks on and I smile at my own image. Precisely how I’d envisioned it. The modulations in my voice. My expressions. My stillness. Everything about the speech stokes within me the emotions I’d hoped to stir in my audience. By the time the speech is finished, I’m fighting back tears, which is entirely embarrassing.
Miss Bell starts the applause, but the students stand as they join in. They turn toward me, and I sit there wishing I could disappear. Miss Bell motions for the lights to be turned back on again and walks to the front of the room.
“I’m glad to see that you were as impacted by her words as we were. Again, I just don’t understand why she didn’t place higher. But it turns out that doesn’t really matter.”
Miss Bell grins at me and I flush with heat and expectation. The students are sitting again. Some are facing her, some are sideways in their seats, so they can see me too.
“By delivering another fantastic speech on volunteerism earlier in the season, Lola earned the opportunity to participate in an extra speech competition last month titled, “Speak for Yourself”. The non-profit was awarding scholarships to worthy performances in each of the speech categories. You can see the speech that earned Lola the right to compete on our YouTube page under the Canton High School competition.” Miss Bell points to the link visible on the screen. “Unfortunately, Lola didn’t win the Speak for Yourself competition. Actually, they chose not to award the scholarship for her category because none of the performances were worthy that day.”
I tilt my head. I hadn’t realized that. I assumed the first place winner automatically got the scholarship.
“I’m beyond thrilled to announce that the “Speak for Yourself” people contacted me—while we were returning from the competition, believe it or not—and said they saw Lola’s performance at today’s competition. They’ve also watched the video of her Canton High speech and they’ve decided to award her the $2,000 scholarship for Advocacy. They said they’d be honored to support the future endeavors of a student who is as insightful and community focused as Lola Renaldi. Congratulations, Lola.”
Everybody is clapping again, but I’m unable to believe what I’ve heard. Can they do that? Award the scholarship later? Based on a different performance?
Miss Bell walks up to my desk and puts her arms out. I automatically stand and take the hug she gives me.
“I’m so proud of you, Lola,” she whispers in my ear.
When she draws away, her eyes shimmer with unshed tears and her grin is huge.
“Thanks, Miss Bell.”
Chapter 32
According to my mom, I have to grow up in three months and three days. I graduate only a month after that. I go off to college about two months after that. A few months ago, I thought my mom was crazy, or perhaps evil, for thinking that I had to grow up so soon, but now I’m beginning to understand a couple of things. I am growing up. A lot. Every day. And I’m not expected to be finished growing up in three months and three days. I’m only expected to be able to handle some grown up things. Like living on my own at college. Juggling school and work and a social life. Coordinating car repairs and paying bills.
She’s right. I’m more than ready for those things. Some people, like Rod, have had to take on far more adult responsibilities at a much younger age than me. And he didn’t break under the pressure. I actually think it has made him shine a little brighter. Like a diamond emerging from the coal.
“Lola! That window’s done. Are you going to stare at it all day or move to the next one?”
I smile at Rod. “Yeah, yeah. Slave driver.”
“I know this house is important to you,” he says it just loud enough for me to hear to avoid insulting any other future homeowners that might be nearby.
“It is.” I move to the next window and saturate it with glass cleaner before wiping away all the dirt and grime. Talia’s home dedication is tomorrow afternoon. She and her kids sleep in their new house for the first time tomorrow night. She says all of their stuff is in a moving van already. They’ll drive it to church in the morning and then to the dedication immediately afterward. She has worked so hard for this opportunity. She’s been gracious and grateful. I’m beyond happy for her.
“D wanted me to make sure we’re still on for next Sunday.”
I glance at Rod, who’s raking the dirt in the planting area next to the house. As a housewarming gift, I bought some pansies and primrose for him to plant. They’re the only plants that stand a chance against the spring nighttime temperatures. His cheeks are glowing. “Oh, D wanted you to check, did he?”
The embarrassed look Rod gives me melts my insides. I return my attention to the window. Rod is staying here. I’ll be going away. I’m trying not to lose my heart to him before then. I’m afraid it’s a battle I’ve already lost, but I’m determined to be a good friend to him and D regardless.
“Is D excited to see the play? Seriously?” I have no idea if a twelve-year-old boy actually wants to see The Lion King. I just thought it would be a unique birthday present he wouldn’t get from anyone else.
“He really is. So am I. I’ve always wanted to see a big stage production. I’ve heard this is a real
ly good one.”
That’s what I’d hoped for. That they’d both be looking forward to it. Rod is the most genuine person I’ve ever met. I want to share things with him that he might not get to experience otherwise. I want to see his eyes light up when he’s happy or his face wrinkle when he doesn’t like something.
“How is your friend doing?” he asks.
“Cyn? She’s doing great actually. She’s the newest volunteer junkie in my life.”
“Oh yeah? You converted another one?”
“Well, actually no. I’ve tried to get her to volunteer with me for years, but she always brushed me off. However, she got court ordered community service.”
“Oh, yes. I’ve heard that is an effective punishment.” His smirk is self-deprecating.
“Well, it helps to be paired with the right non-profit. She’s over at Bekah’s Closet. Cyn not only has the uncanny ability to match the right dress to any body, but she now has a place to donate all of her gowns—since she’ll only ever wear them once.”
Rod chuckles. “Are you guys still on the outs at school?”
I had told Rod how Cyn and I no longer hang with the most popular kids. At first it wasn’t by choice. Jay was kind enough to join us and so was Darnell and Jance. By the time the school’s A-list students forgave Cyn for her antics, we didn’t want to go back. “Yep. But we’re good with it. Cyn actually admits that she feels a lot less pressure to perform 24/7 now. That she actually looks forward to school and games and parties, because she won’t be the one everyone looks at to emulate.” I move to the next window, careful not to step on the newly planted flowers. “The funny thing is, I think more girls copy her style now than ever before. I’m not even sure they realize they’re doing it. But walking through the halls can be like being at a Cyn Con.”
“She’s lucky to have you.” Rod leans on his rake. “You stuck with her through it all.”
I turn and face him, nervous to say what I know I have to admit. “Rod, you helped me realize that it isn’t just her lucky to have me or me lucky to have her. Cyn and I are friends because together we are everything we need. I just never realized it before.”
“I don’t understand. How did I help?”
“Seeing you and D together. Knowing that you’d give everything for him because he means that much to you. I’ve never…” I rock from one foot to the other. I’m not explaining myself well. “Rod, that’s what you’ve become to me.”
His eyes grow wide with fear and I laugh. “No, I’m not admitting my undying love for you or anything. Not really. It’s just that you’ve become really important to me. Who you are makes me want to be a better person. With you in my life, I have someone I care for categorically. Someone I would risk everything for. With you in my life, I have everything. I don’t need anything more.”
He dips his head and seems to catch his breath. But then he puts on a true smile and looks out toward the street. “Well, if that’s the case can I have your car?”
I throw my rag at him and we both laugh.
But it’s true. I don’t need my car or my wardrobe or my fancy house. I just need Cyn and Jay and Rod. Especially Rod. Knowing him has changed me permanently. And it’s our relationships that matter most in the end. Our humanity.
In three months and three days I’m supposed to grow up. This one boy has helped me realize that I’m not only ready for the challenge, but that I’m more than capable. One boy has made me understand that it’s not even necessary to have it all because he helped me define my true meaning of everything.
“Lunch.” Hank calls.
I store my supplies in the tote while Rod gathers the gardening implements he used.
He reaches for my hand and though I’m surprised by the gesture, I gladly grasp his.
“Lola, if you ever want to admit your undying love for me, I’d be okay with that.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Would you?”
“I would.” His voice breaks. As we approach the tent he pulls me to a stop and takes my other hand too. “I don’t really understand how I can inspire you to be a better person when that’s what you do for me. How can we inspire each other equally? I’ve never been more comfortably myself with anyone other than D before.” He stares at our hands and runs his thumb over mine. “You’re the first person I think of each morning. I wake up and wonder what I can do today to earn your friendship.” He glances up at me and coughs lightly. “Or love.”
I can’t speak, so I squeeze his hands to encourage him to continue.
“I don’t feel good enough for you and it isn’t because you’re rich and go to that snooty school. It’s because you’re so damn good. I want to be worthy of your goodness.”
I think I might choke on my fluttering heart. I swallow a couple times before I can whisper. “You are.”
His eyes close like I’ve just given him the world. When they open again we stare at each other.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
I spring onto my toes and press my lips to his. We reach for each other, his arms slide around my waist and draw me tight against him, while my hand wraps around the back of his neck to hold him close.
A throat clearing breaks us apart. We’re both wearing surprised expressions. I’m sort of embarrassed that we kissed on the job site. Sort of.
Hank’s arms are crossed, and his feet are shoulder width apart. If it weren’t for the smirk, I’d think he was mad. “’Bout time you two. I’m happy for you.” He nods his head to indicate we should go eat lunch, and then says, “So happy, I’ll keep my mouth shut around Dave. Though it’s none of his business, I doubt he’d see it that way.”
Rod looks properly abashed. “Thank you, sir.”
Hank winks at me and returns to the tent.
Rod takes my hand as we follow him. “Do you think we can make it work?”
“Us you mean?”
He nods. “We’re so different.”
I lift my brow. “Rodney, I thought you watched my speech. You’re stereotyping. Of course, we can make it because—”
Rodney nods. “I am me.”
“And I am me.”
He lifts our joined hands to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “You’re right.”
I let my gaze take him in. His caramel topping goodness. His serious expression. And my heart threatens to burst from my chest. “And together we are...”
Rod nods again. “Everything.”
Also by Kai Strand
More young adult fiction by Kai Strand:
Finding Thor: Tragedy has left Cara Cassidy broken and the only thing keeping her from giving in completely is her guilt. Until Nik Rock. Nik stirs up feelings in degrees she has never experienced and causes her to do things that most assuredly give him the wrong impression—like kiss him before their first date. Somehow, he breaks down the walls around her emotions until she has no choice but to forgive herself and feel again.
Worth the Effort duology
Ella’s Story: Ella Jones is a coward. There is a teen boy living in the alley behind her work and she is terrified of him.
Desperate to leave behind the stereotypical and judgmental world she was raised in, Ella forces herself to make a true connection with seventeen-year-old Ayden Worth. As their friendship grows Ayden’s quiet, gentle ways teach her true courage.
But there’s more to Ayden’s story than Ella knows. When their worlds collide in the most unexpected place, Ella feels betrayed. Will she find the courage to learn who Ayden really is, or will she determine he’s not worth the effort?
Ayden’s Story: Seventeen-year-old Ayden Worth shouldn’t have to seek peace of mind in the streets. But as family pressures mount, his anxieties increase, and he turns his back on comfort for a life in homeless camps and back alleys.
Then one fateful day he runs into the only person he ever wanted to know better. Ella Jones. His memories paint her as kind and undemanding, and it seems the years haven’t changed her. Her simple expectations draw him to her. Against all o
dds, a relationship buds and grows.
Yet, as Ayden repairs his life, Ella suggests he help others who also struggle. Will Ella turn out to be just like his dad, expecting more from him than he can give? Or will he prove that he is worth the effort?
Super Villain Academy series
King of Bad (book 1): Seventeen-year-old Ayden Worth shouldn’t have to seek peace of mind in the streets. But as family pressures mount, his anxieties increase, and he turns his back on comfort for a life in homeless camps and back alleys.
Then one fateful day he runs into the only person he ever wanted to know better. Ella Jones. His memories paint her as kind and undemanding, and it seems the years haven’t changed her. Her simple expectations draw him to her. Against all odds, a relationship buds and grows.
Yet, as Ayden repairs his life, Ella suggests he help others who also struggle. Will Ella turn out to be just like his dad, expecting more from him than he can give? Or will he prove that he is worth the effort?
Polar Opposites (book 2): The supers are balanced. Academies have altered their curriculum to teach both sides of the super power spectrum. All's well in the super world. Right? When Mystic kidnaps Oceanus, Jeff learns it isn't all right. Turning to the newly balanced supers for assistance, he panics to find they've done nothing to rescue Oceanus. When no ransom request follows, he worries Mystic's plan never included returning his girlfriend. Frustrated, he's forced to work with the only super willing to help. Oceanus' ex-villain, ex-boyfriend, Set. Mystic isn't the only one hiding something. Nothing about Jeff is balanced. Temper flares result in scorched clothing or flying furniture, and his charm has become an indiscriminating people-magnet. Jeff is convinced, or maybe just hopeful, that his lack of control is directly related to Oceanus being gone. But will he and Set find her before Jeff loses control completely and will they find her alive?