Twist of Faith

by Kelly A. Purcell

20

  Hide & Seek

  Reuben sidled between the chairs of the crowded restaurant toward a table at the far corner; he paused to look across the room at James clad in faded jeans and a t-shirt, with his cap pulled down over his eyes, reading a menu like a newspaper. He peeked over the side of the hard covered menu and grinned widely showing him a ‘thumbs up’. James had never looked so goofy. Reuben sighed, wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and continued onward.

  Lisa looked up at him casually, her dark eyes unreadable.

  “Hey,” he greeted as he sat down opposite to her, his shoulders tense with nervousness. He dropped is book bag at the foot of his chair and leaned forward.

  She put down the book she was reading and leaned back, regarding him with a level of callousness he was no stranger to.

  “So what now?” she asked, “why am I here Reuben?”

  He shrugged, “we need to talk,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Yeah, I know,” she said, pursing her lips nonchalantly, “have you made up your mind?”

  Reuben looked at her with a confused frown, “huh? What kind of question is that? Can we for once have a progressive conversation?” he asked, growing annoyed.

  “See I knew this would happen, I knew this would turn into one big fight!” she hissed, dropping her head in her hand dramatically.

  Reuben rolled his eyes, and cast a weary glance in James direction. He still couldn’t understand how he’d managed to agree to this, but James had promised that he was going to help him smooth out this mess with Lisa.

  “You can’t be certain of what you want if you’re in a relationship with someone whose intentions you’re not sure about,” James had said, one evening after practice, “she’s too cool about your relationship issues and it’s not good for you, especially when she has you bouncing around in the middle not knowing where you stand. One day you’re together next day you’re sad cause you’re not sure if there’s anything left.”

  Reuben had rolled his eyes at him, but even then he knew he was right, “so what do you suggest I do?” He’d asked.

  James had shrugged, “the only thing you haven’t done,” he looked over at him with a smirk, “finish a fight, just finish it, get it out into the open,” he said, “only this time am gonna help you...for two reasons mostly, one is I can’t stand to see a fellow brother being strung around like a pre-schooler’s guppy and the other is I need you focused enough to help me.”

  Reuben had narrowed his eyes at him then, and found himself with that very same expression now, only the face looking up at him wasn’t James instead it was Lisa’s scowling one.

  “Lisa, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but the fact is am tired of your games...”

  “Games?” she looked up at him with a cold glare, “I’m not playing any games, you think this is a game for me, watching you waver, watching you try to figure things out,” she spat.

  He leaned forward with a pleading frown, both hands flat on the table top, “Lisa, we really need to come to a conclusion here; the pastor said that fighting is normal, especially when couples are at this point in their life, where every decision counts...”

  “Wait what?” she looked up at him, “Pastor? You spoke to the pastor about us?”

  “Uh...” he looked over in the direction of James, who was peering over the edge of the menu, listening intently, though Reuben was sure he couldn’t hear much over the chatter of the restaurant.

  Lisa’s eyes shot in James direction like a hawk, “who do you keep looking at over there?” she demanded, just as James ducked down behind the menu.

  “Is that the bass man? Jeez Reuben, the bass man too, let me guess you told your mom, your dad...”

  “Well yeah...they’re my parents,” he replied, stunned at her reaction.

  She got up and tossed the napkin on the table with a huff, “See this is why things are falling apart between us, ‘cause you just won’t grow up.”

  And with that she snatched up her purse and started to leave. Reuben jumped to his feet, reached out and grabbed her elbow.

  By now the other patrons had picked up on the quarrel and were staring and whispering, the bold ones even pointing James sitting in the midst looking on coolly.

  “No Lisa, this time I am saying what I came here to say,” he said, in that same levelled tone hoping to reduce the amount of attention they were getting.

  She glared at him; they were both acutely aware of the eyes on them, and the waiter scurrying toward their table, a disapproving frown on his face.

  “Just tell me one thing,” he said softly, “what do you want?”

  Still annoyed, she snatched her arm from his grip and looked up at him defiantly, “obviously, not you,” she replied and stalked out of the room.

  Reuben stood frozen, looking at her walk away, feeling the tightness in his chest fade into a deep exhale.

  “Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” said the waiter.

  Reuben sighed looked over at James, who was already coming toward him, an uncomfortable look on his face.

  “That’s alright, I was gonna do that anyway,” he turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to the round man in the apron, “I apologize.”

  James fell into step with him and once they were outside, safe from prying eyes and perked up ears. He placed a hand on his shoulder and regarded him with a concerned frown.

  “Look man, I really didn’t expect it to happen like that...”

  Reuben smiled wryly, “naw man, it’s cool. As a matter of fact, I feel surprisingly better. Certainty does things to a guy,” he said with a smile.

  “Good, cause I always figured that God has better for you.”

  They laughed. “You’re right, but in the meanwhile, what do you need my help for?”

  James started to smile, just as a loud screech echoed through the parking lot and they both looked up as a battered Escudo swerved round the bend.

  “Get down!” James yelled and they dove behind a parked car, just as the sound of gun shots filled the air, followed by sharp obscenities and the rev of the engine as the van drove away.

  James and Reuben stood up when they were certain it was safe. Reuben was still clinging to the tail of James shirt, looking dazed; his legs shaking beneath him. People had begun to file out of the restaurant, quizzical, shocked frowns on their faces as they regarded the wide eyed men.

  Reuben turned back and looked at the line of holes on the side of the concrete building and swallowed hard, “Oh boy.”

  “Oh boy indeed, I’m so sorry man,” James said, looking over at him with apologetic eyes.

  Reuben nodded, still trying to find his voice, “don’t apologize, I’m just a coward sometimes, but I got involved in this with my own free will. There are some cops coming.”

  “I can’t be here man!”

  Reuben turned and regarded him with quizzical eyes, then pursed his lips and nodded, “go, I’ll take care of it.”

  James looked about him, his resolve weakening, he couldn’t leave Reuben to face this alone. The fact that they were even being shot at in the first place was proof enough that things were about to get ugly.

  “I can’t allow you to do that. Fine I’m staying,” he said adamantly, “I don’t got nothing to be afraid of.”

  Reuben nodded, his face still taut with anxiety, “that makes one of us.”

  The clock on the mantle tapped out the steady rhythm of a long day, while the fan on the counter in the kitchen maintained the melody. Michael sat on the edge of the couch, with his back to the timepiece, boxes of memorabilia open at his feet, as he peered intently at a photograph, his brows drawn in concentration as though trying to see as far back into the past as the photo would allow.

  Nicole came in through the front door breathlessly and looked over at him furtively, he didn’t look up.

  “You’re home early,” he said, as he picked up a brown
newspaper clipping from the open box.

  Nicole shrugged and put down her hand bag, she came in and sat next to him, straight backed and thoughtful, worry etched on her now ashen face, but still Michael didn’t look up.

  “What are you doing?” she asked; her voice still oddly breathless.

  Michael tossed the clipping on her lap and bent down for another; she picked it up and frowned at it, turning it over in her hands. A young man with a face set like stone was being led by two officers and an indifferent looking lawyer, his hands cuffed in front of him, with the heading big and bold, ‘ANOTHER DRUG BUST’ displayed in caps at the top of the page.

  She frowned, “why are you going through this, isn’t this a clipping from Chris’ trial?” she looked over at him in confusion.

  Mike nodded, “yup, I’m looking for clues,” he replied.

  “For what? Your own future?”

  Mike rolled his eyes at her, “Is this guy I meet the other day, I think he know Chris,” he said thoughtfully.

  “Where you get these?” she bent down to pick up another, only to groan and sit back suddenly, pressing the palm of her hand against her forehead.

  Michael chuckled, “you won’t believe it, but I find this in mom’s room, jammed all the way behind our albums with notes Declan write her during their courtship,” he paused, wiggled his brows mischievously, then started to laugh. He looked over at his sister, when he received no chorus, for the first time since she’d come in.

  “yuh alright?” he asked, sobering with concern.

  Nicole leaned forward for a moment took a deep breath and got up, “I going and lie down, if Shawn call for me tell him I can’t make it tonight.”

  Michael frowned, “I don’t know Shawn, he a new one or what?” he asked jokingly.

  Nicole merely waved at him weakly, “whatever Mike.”

  She headed into the room and pulled the door behind her. Mike waited until he heard the click of the lock and turned back to his task, that meant she wasn’t going out tonight, he shook his head. Even when he told himself he wasn’t going to worry, he was still concerned about her. Now he just gave up trying and learned to accept the fact that his sister wasn’t okay.

  The click of the lock punctuated her tears and sobs wracked her body as she slid down the length of the door to the floor. She felt terrible, like she’d been repeatedly gutted, like nothing that was connected to her actually belonged. The room was empty, the house was quiet; Mike had to choose today to be interested in something that didn’t include loud music, when she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. She didn’t want to be alone with the skeletons, the putrid smell of bad choices, the stench of failure and lies.

  But who could she blame? She looked up at the double bed through her tears, there was no one left to heap the compost on, it was all falling back on the rightful owner, but one thing was certain, she would rather die than make the same mistake she’d made twice before. A viable option, death that is, as she felt she really was on the brink of it now. But as much as she liked to think she would welcome it, a part of her didn’t want to.

  She slid onto her side and pulled her knees up to her chest, sealing in the secret of her bosom that would not go away and for the first time, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to. Just this once, she’d like to know what it felt like to not have to hide and lie to the point where she discarded the one life she should value more than her own. She sighed and closed her eyes against the sliver of light streaming in from between the dirty curtains and as she drifted off to sleep she thought of changing them into something brighter, something light enough for the wind to carry. Then she thought about what Alex would think, when she found out what a complete failure her sister was.