How the fuck she got pleasure out of that, I will never understand.
But the orgasm has settled me somewhat. I shudder with relief. Then guilt moves in, shoving the fear and hatred aside. For now, anyway.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” I move away from her and go get her a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge. Pulling her up, I hold the bottle to her trembling lips.
She takes a long drink, then sighs as I pull the bottle away. “You can’t make me hate you. No matter how hard you try, you can’t do that.”
“I will.” I put the bottle down on the bedside table and climb under the blanket. Pulling her into my arms, I kiss the top of her head. “I will make you hate me. You’ll see.”
Cuddling up to me, Isabel kisses my chest, then lays her head on it. “I love you. I always will. Goodnight, Grant.”
I’m exhausted. Utterly and entirely. I can’t fight her anymore. I can’t.
But that streak in me that knows there is no such thing as love that will last forever pops up inside of me. “You will hate me one day. You will decide I don’t deserve you, and that is because I don’t deserve you. You should push me away instead of always drawing me in. You should tell me no when I ask you to stay with me. If you had an ounce of self-preservation, you would tell me to fuck off and mean it.”
She raises her head and looks me in the eyes. “Just fucking tell me that you love me too already. I’m kind of getting tired of waiting for you to say it.”
Do I love her?
If I don’t, then why does my heart ache to think of losing her? If I don’t, then why does my body crave hers? If I don’t, then why can’t my mind get off of her and how wonderful and perfect she is?
But that fear, that gnawing notion that love is a lie answers for me. “I do not love you and I never will.”
What is wrong with her?
What is wrong with me?
The End???
Grant Jamison is one of the founding fathers of The Dungeon of Decorum. The BDSM club is the backdrop and Grant is the common thread in all of the Submissives’ Secrets Novels. And what’s coming up next is the entire story of Grant Jamison. So be on the lookout for ‘The Dungeon of Decorum’ the last in the Submissives’ Secrets Collection.
Hot Nights in Sturgis Bonus Extra “A Bad Boy MC Billionaire Romance”
By Michelle Love
She left me, to bring me back to life, only my life’s never been in more danger…
From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I had to make her mine. And I had done just that.
Her body, mind, heart they were all mine, and I nearly lost it all. All because I had stopped living.
I’d become a ghost in our home. She did what she thought she had to do, but what she did brought us both closer to death than either of us wanted.
Just as I came back to the world of the living, taking her body, bending it to my will, and making it mine once more, all hell broke loose.
Would danger always lurk just around the next corner for us? Would peace ever come our way and stay there? Would we find our happy ending once again, or just our ending?
Chapter 1
Blaze
Cool air blows through my hair as I ride my Harley Night Rod Special along the winding roads outside of Sturgis, South Dakota. Though the night is dark as it’s nearly three in the morning, every star can be seen as they hover over my head.
I had to get out, clear my head a bit.
That woman can be so damn bullheaded at times.
Well, all the time really.
But fuck me, I love that spitfire with everything that’s in me. Angel is the kind of woman men would die and kill for. She’s tall, curves in all the right places, long dark hair that just begs my hands to run through it, and she’s all mine.
Which is exactly why I can’t understand why she did it. Why would she just up and leave our home?
Sure, she told me she felt like we were becoming a little stale. But fuck man, we’ve been married for five years, what does she expect?
And I don’t think we’ve become stale at all. As a matter of fact, I think we’ve just become comfortable, extremely comfortable. What’s wrong with that?
Who doesn’t like to be comfortable?
I guess my wife doesn’t like it. I guess she likes things to be shaken up now and then. Well, she sure as fuck shook up my world earlier this evening.
She waited until after we had dinner. I suppose she wanted to make sure I ate first before letting me know she was leaving our home for a while. And I was not to follow after her. She needs some time and space to see where she stands, all on her own.
Only she isn’t all on her own and never will be if I have anything to do with it. No, Angel will always be mine. But what the fuck can I do now to get her to come back home to me?
As I ride through the night, I still don’t know what the hell I can do to get her to stop this insanity and come back home. The home she belongs in.
I don’t even know where she’s staying. She said it was better this way. I’ll have my space and freedom to do whatever I want and so will she, for an undetermined amount of time.
I hate her idea. It’s ridiculous. And it’s beginning to hurt.
I laughed at her when she told me her idea. I told her she was being foolish. And I even went so far as to tell her, as she was actually walking out the door with a leather bag full of clothing, that she’d be sorry if she left me. She’d see.
Her blue eyes shot daggers into me as she spun on her heel, leveling her voice to that of a pit bull’s growl, “It’s you who will be sorry if you don’t pull yourself out of this rut you’ve been in for nearly a year now, Blaze. I know you lost your father, and I gave you a lot of time to get past that. But I can’t do it anymore. You’re like a fucking ghost in this house. Yes, you’re here, but only in body, not in mind or spirit. Sleeping next to you is like sleeping next to a corpse. I’ve jumped through hoops to get you to come back to life with me, and nothing has worked. Maybe this will. Maybe this will shock your ass back to this world. The world where I exist.” Then she slammed out the door, and I heard her bike start up, and she peeled out of the drive.
I sat there, thinking she would be back before it got dark. I did what I’ve done since my father died. Space out. Just don’t think.
Every time I think, I go back to the old days. Days when my father and I did all kinds of things together. The truth is I regret not spending more time with him.
Mom died two years before he did. He was alone and sad, and I found it hard to be around him for more reasons than one. When I was around him, I noticed Mom’s absence even more. It hurt to be around him without Mom there.
It never occurred to me that I could lose him too. And in much less time than I thought I had with the man.
The truth is I blame myself for his death. His heart gave out on him. I knew it was from being lonely without Mom, without me.
And now it seems I’m doing much the same thing to my wife. She’s right about me. It’s like I’m treading water, not going in any direction. And I keep to myself more than I ever have.
Maybe she’s not wrong to have left me. Maybe she is right. Because, I haven’t thought this much in over a year.
But how am I going to get over this shit?
Headlights of a car come around a curve and I have to swerve to miss it as it’s in my lane. “Fucking moron!” I shoot the finger at them, but I’m sure they can’t see it. Probably blind drunk, the menace.
It takes a minute for my heart to get back into a calm rhythm. Pulling to the side of the road, I get off my bike and pace a bit to help steady my nerves.
I’ve kept pretty calm since Dad’s death. I try hard not to do anything that might provoke a case of nerves. But that fucking car had to go and make me think I was about to get creamed.
In a flash, I could’ve been gone too. Just like Mom and Dad.
Where would that leave Angel?
Looking up at the stars, I
shout, “Why, God? Why does this have to be so hard?”
Something scuttles in the nearby brush at the side of the road. I stop my whining to look to see if I can see anything. Probably something small, a rat, or a rabbit maybe.
Then the tell-tell sound of a rattle fills the air, and more rattling sounds join that one. It’s so fucking dark, I can’t make out much of anything, but it’s clear that I’m way too fucking close to a few rattlesnakes.
Easing back to my bike, the plan is to get on it and get the hell out of here, but the snakes are going to make it that a bit harder than it should be. I suppose the heat from my bike’s engine has made them come to see who’s stopping near their home. Two of them are right underneath my bike, and a third is slithering this way too.
Backing away from the motorcycle, I try to find a stick on the other side of the road. Maybe I can toss them away with one. Not that I’ve ever attempted to do such a thing, but I have to try something.
Angel wanted me to start living again, and twice now I’ve been in situations that have me closer to death than I’ve ever been.
I’m about twenty minutes outside of town, away from a hospital. If I get bitten by even one of these things, I’m pretty much fucked. If I get bitten by more than one, well, it’s going to be lights out for me.
My heart is pounding as I find a long thick stick and head back to my bike. The heat has soothed the snakes who’ve decided to stop rattling. Which is a very good thing. That sound evokes such nervousness in me. I don’t know how snake handlers do it.
My cell rings and I hop back as the sound of it has startled the snakes, and their rattling starts up again as their heads move to find what’s making the sound.
“Fuck me!” I hurry to answer the phone without even stopping to see who it is. “You’ve got Blaze.”
“Blaze? Where are you? And what’s that noise?” It’s Angel. Her sweet voice seems so close, but I know she’s far away.
“Rattlers.” I can’t take my eyes off the snakes as their heads move, trying to get a bead on me.
“Rattlers? Like rattlesnakes?” she sounds worried. Am I a shitty person for that making me feel better?
“Yes, I took my bike out for a drive. I was almost hit by a car and stopped on the side of the road to calm down, and a few snakes have taken up residence under my fucking bike.”
“I’ll be right there, send me your location.”
“I’ve got this, baby. I don’t need you to come rescue me. You just keep doing what you're doing, Angel,” My heart aches as I say the words. I’m not sure why I’m being such a dick.
“Blaze, stop it. I’m leaving the club right now and heading for you. Now send me your location, and I’ll be there soon. I have a gun in my bag.
She’s at a club?
Now I’m pissed. I thought she’d go to a girlfriend’s house or something. Not out to a fucking club. “No, I’ve got this.” I end the call and freeze as a couple of headlights shine right into my eyes as a car comes careening around the corner.
Fuck me…
Chapter 2
Angel
Okay, maybe I made a mistake by leaving Blaze the way I did. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it. But I am at my wit’s end trying to figure out how to get the man I love with all my heart to get back to who he really is.
Blaze and I have always had this little battle of wills going on. Until his father passed away suddenly of a heart attack a year ago. Since that day, he’s become a ghost.
I’ve said things just to get a rise out of him, which used to be easy as hell to do. Nothing works. Blaze has become a mere shadow of his former self, and I only left him to get him to see he needed to do more to try to come back.
But it seems I’ve failed once again.
I’m racing as fast as I can to the one road I know he loves to ride on. At least he used to before he went into his deep dark depression. I was shocked when he said he’d taken his bike out. It’s been a very long time since that bike has been ridden.
Oh, he starts it every single day and lets it run then makes sure it’s clean. He loves the shit out of his Harley. But he hasn’t gotten on it since his father passed.
I tried talking to him, telling him he could tell me anything. But he didn’t take me up on the offer.
To be honest, I think he can’t get over it because he hasn’t cried. At least that I know of. He hasn’t let out any of his sadness, that’s why it’s damming up inside of him, eating away at him.
I thought maybe he would cry if he thought I was leaving him. But he only laughed at me when I told him what I was doing. But when I told him why, he wasn’t laughing anymore.
As hard as it was, I walked out that door, knowing it was hurting him. The last thing I want to do is hurt the man any more than he’s already hurting. But damn it, I didn’t know what else to do.
And now he’s in danger and won’t tell me where he is so I can come help his stubborn ass.
Blaze and I used to have insane chemistry. Right from the very start when he showed up at the motorcycle repair shop I worked in, he and I clicked. Sure, I made him work for it. I’m not an easy woman after all. But when I did finally give into him, damn, I was smitten and so was he.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt his hands caressing my skin. A long time since I’ve felt his lips take mine with a passionate kiss. And don’t even get me started on the cobwebs that have taken over my nether regions as they’ve gone unused for a very long time.
Anyone can see, I had to do something drastic to light a fire under my man’s ass. I am withering away at much too young of an age.
Thankfully, even though deeply depressed, Blaze has kept his muscular body in shape. That’s about all he’s done the same this last year. His exercise regimen is still the same, six every morning he’s up and hitting the gym, like clockwork. But that’s all he’s done. Everything else, including me, has been swept to the side, his guilt and grief taking center stage.
But now that he’s in danger, I’m second-guessing what I’ve done.
Taking a corner probably faster than I should be, my leather covered knee nearly touches the asphalt as I lean into the curve. My heart is racing, my nerves tingling.
He has to be okay.
Up ahead, I see the red lights of a car as it’s stopped on the road. The closer I get, the more I can see. On the right side of the road is a bike, lying on its side. And two figures are shadowed in the headlights.
Slowing to a stop, I finally take a breath, I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding it. “Blaze!” His shoulder length dark hair is blowing in the cool breeze.
He’s there, fine and standing in front of the car. “Hey, stay back. There’s still one of these sons of a bitches alive up here.”
Fighting the urge to run to him and throw my arms around him, I nod and do as he’s said to. “K. You alright though, baby?”
“Yeah.” He takes a step forward and launches what looks like a stick at the thing that’s rattling away on the ground near his bike.
I hang onto myself as he takes a few steps forward then leans over and I can’t see what he’s doing anymore. “Blaze? What are you doing?”
He rises back up, and I see the wiggling body of the snake is in his hand, the head is gone though. “Killing this evil thing.”
The sound of high heels clicking over the street echo as the driver of the car makes their way to me. The headlight of my bike picks up the curvy form that’s coming toward me.
It’s a woman.
My hackles rise as I think about some woman out in the middle of nowhere with my husband. “My goodness, you have yourself a real man right there, don’t you?” She extends her hand. “I’m Gretchen. Blaze told me your name is Angel.”
“It is.” I shake her hand. Her long, thin hand that’s filled with rings, assorted precious gems adorn each one. “Nice to meet you, Gretchen. I’m grateful for your help. My husband is indeed a real man.”
“I almost ran him over. He jumpe
d out of my way just in time. He was standing in the middle of the road when I came around the corner. I’m just happy he moves fast. He took my breath away when he killed those vicious snakes. They were giving him hell.”
“Thanks again.” I get off my bike and head toward my husband. Throwing my arms around him, I whisper, “I’m coming home.”
“You’re damn right you are. And I’m coming home a different man. I’ve seen the light baby.” Our mouths press together in a way they haven’t for way too long.
It may have taken this near death experience to open his eyes. I hate that it came to that, but I love the way he’s holding me, tightly. My body yearns for his masculine touch.
“Race you home?” I ask, coyly.
A smack on my ass sends me back to my bike. “You bet ya.”
Gretchen gives me a smile as I walk back to my bike. “I’ll follow you guys back to town. I’ve been lost out here for nearly an hour.”
“Oh yeah?” I’m surprised by that. The roads around Sturgis are pretty straightforward.
“Yes, I was in a hurry to get away from where I was at. My state of mind wasn’t the best. I guess I’m lucky I found Blaze out here.” She makes her way back to her car, waving at Blaze as she does. “I’m right behind you, Blaze. You will lead me to that motel you told me about, right?”
“All the way there and I’ll get you set up to spend the next week there like we talked about. I got you, girl.” He picks up his bike as jealousy stabs me right in the heart.
Just how much have these two been talking and just how much is he planning to do for her?
Why was her state of mind so bad and why was she leaving somewhere so fast?
I am made of questions right now, but this isn’t really the place to start asking them. The road in the early morning hours while it’s still dark isn’t the safest of places.
I drive past her car, getting in line behind Blaze. Being between them feels odd in a strange way. Like I’ve missed out on something.
In the five years, Blaze and I have been married, I’ve never had a reason to think he’d cheat on me. But after this last year with so little going on between us, I have to admit to myself that I thought he might go looking for something or someone else.
Vengeful Seduction_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 33