by Nicki Night
“I’m sorry, Drew. I really do wish you well.” Alana turned to the window, giving him her back.
“Wish me well? Alana!”
“Please don’t.” She didn’t turn around. “This was hard enough.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
At first, Alana didn’t respond. “I’m sorry. I need to get back to work.”
There was so much more to say, but the words wouldn’t come together properly. Drew took in a sharp breath before continuing. “That’s not good enough for me, Alana. What’s really going in here?”
“I can’t talk about this now. Not here.”
“If not here and now, then where and when? The least you could do is give me a concrete reason why all of the sudden you believe this can’t work. What has changed in the past two days?” Drew felt his chest heave. Drew knew Alana wasn’t being completely honest. There was more under the surface.
“I can’t go into this here at my office. This is not the time.”
Alana had a point. This wasn’t a conversation that should be had at work, especially when he became more upset with each passing moment. Drew turned to wrench the doorknob and paused. Gently, he turned the knob and walked out. The joy he’d felt all day had been siphoned from him in the small amount of time since he had arrived.
Cadence was waiting outside Alana’s office. Her face was drawn, showing how upset she was by all of this, as well. Drew could clearly see Cadence’s pain. She wanted this to work as much as he did. She hugged him and stepped aside so he could leave.
Wading through a storm of emotions, he finally credited himself for doing what he could to make a relationship between them work. Was there a way to salvage this? Maybe he needed to give Alana some time. Then he thought about just giving up.
Drew pulled out the gift box from his jacket pocket and placed the earrings and pendant on the floor outside her office. He wrote her a short note. Drew looked at Alana’s closed door one more time, shook his head and left.
Chapter 27
“Come in,” Alana replied to the soft knock on her door. Quickly, she wiped away the tears rolling down her face. Saying goodbye to Drew was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, but it was necessary.
“Are you okay?”
Alana sat straight. “I’m fine.”
Cadence sat across from her desk, reached over and put her hand over Alana’s.
Alana hoped Cadence hadn’t felt the slight tremble in her hand. She was far from okay. She’d just told Drew to leave her alone. She’d come to love him in a way that she didn’t know was possible. Now she questioned her actions. Then she thought about Jade’s voice on the phone when she called and all the speculation that action generated. Her heart and mind had been flipping and flopping for days now. She justified her actions and then questioned them almost immediately.
Alana hadn’t bothered telling Drew about the call because she assumed he’d deny any kind of betrayal. Maybe she should have been more adamant and insisted that Drew not work with Jade at all, but it wouldn’t have been fair for her insecurities to cost him potential opportunities. Drew didn’t like the fact that she had taken Gary on for a client, but he respected her decision anyway. They thought Gary had been good for business, even though he was such a difficult client.
It was over now. Hopefully Drew wouldn’t push the issue too much. Walking away was painful enough. Knowing he was leaving later that night made her appreciate his impending distance.
Cadence continued holding Alana’s hand in silence, letting her wrestle with her emotions without interruption, just like a friend does.
“Aren’t you glad that Gary finally listened to us and decided to settle the case?” Cadence asked, breaking the silence. “He flushed his chances of winning down the toilet when he lost it in the courtroom.”
“This will be best for all of us.” Alana welcomed the change of subject, but it was hard to think of anything else. She was livid when Jade answered Drew’s phone and had been angry ever since.
What Alana didn’t expect was to almost fall apart when she saw Drew. When she looked into his face, she felt wounded and wanted answers to questions she couldn’t bring herself to ask. She couldn’t trust herself to speak more than a few words at a time lest she break down right in front of him and she couldn’t do that—especially not at work.
Listening to him leave ripped her apart emotionally. She couldn’t bring herself to actually watch him walk out of her life. Now, she questioned herself again. Should she have given him a chance to tell his side? He didn’t look like he was there to apologize. When she came out of the office, he had seemed his usual self. Alana decided an apology wouldn’t have made a difference. She still needed to go for her own sake. Dating so soon after her breakup with James wasn’t smart.
Worst of all, Drew had the nerve to look impossibly handsome. Memories of the time they’d spent together inundated her mind. She remembered his kisses, his touch, the way he made love to her as if he adored her. Ma belle. She could still hear him whispering that in her ear. She could see the sun setting as they floated in that hot air balloon. She’d fallen for the new Drew and now she couldn’t eject him from her system. She didn’t know what it was that she felt for him. All she knew was that it was far more intense than anything she’d ever felt for any man.
Cadence rubbed the back of her hand, bringing Alana back to the present.
“He said he’s leaving tonight for Spain.”
“Okay.” Alana had made a decision and was going to stick with it. The last thing she was going to do was run after him.
“I almost forgot. He left this for you.” Cadence handed Alana a jewelry box and flowers.
Alana took the box and dropped it in her purse. She’d look at it later. “I’m going to be fine, Cadence.”
“Can I throw in my few cents?”
Alana raised a brow at her. “If I say no, will you listen?”
“Nah.”
“Go ahead.” Alana sat back and braced herself for her friend’s honesty. She was sure it was coming.
“No matter how scared you may be, you can’t outrun your own heart.”
Alana sighed.
“Trust me, I know.” Cadence got up. “Why don’t you go home for the rest of the day? I can handle anything that comes up in the next few hours. You could use the rest.”
“This is one time that I have to agree with you about needing rest.”
Cadence rounded Alana’s desk and hugged her.
* * *
Alana’s own home didn’t seem as warm when she got there. In the kitchen, she sat on a stool with her elbows on the countertop. She rested her head in her hands. A few moments later, she walked to the refrigerator, opened it and scanned the shelves. Closing it again, she decided she wasn’t hungry. She went to the den and the remote was on top of the couch pillow, where Drew always left it. Had she even watched TV since they’d become estranged?
She questioned her decision to come home. At work, there were more distractions and fewer reminders of Drew. She went to her study and turned on her laptop. The icon for the language app stared back at her—mocking her. Drew had purchased the program for her so that she would learn French in preparation for their next visit to his chateau. He promised to bring her in June when the lavender fields were in full bloom. In the short time that they’d become exclusive, Drew had embedded himself in her life in so many ways. He hardly spent time at his home in Brooklyn. He stayed at her house when he wasn’t visiting his parents. She felt the void his absence left in her home. She’d lived alone for years but never had she felt lonely—until now.
Alana checked her purse for her cell to make sure she didn’t miss any calls. She felt the gift box that Cadence said Drew had left for her when she dug in the bag for the phone. Curiosity
won her over and she opened it. She inhaled.
The diamond earrings and matching pendant were exquisite. Was that an apology gift? The card fell to the floor when she pulled out the pendant. When she leaned over to pick it up, she noticed there was writing on it. She read the words—Don’t give up on us. I’m working on making you love me. Love Drew—and she nearly dropped the box. Her eyes watered. She squeezed them shut to hold back another stream of tears. It was too late now.
Chapter 28
Drew was upset with Alana for the way she’d treated him. All his efforts to prove himself to her were futile. Now what they had was over and he couldn’t fathom why. Alana didn’t care for Jade, but she’d stuck it out. He’d done all he could to keep her insecurities at bay. What had changed in those few days? Of all the women who craved him, why did he have to fall for the one who could so easily toss him aside? Was this payback for being such a slippery player? Karma was paying him an unwelcome visit.
“Are you alright?” Jade asked again. She’d managed to arrange for their first-class seats to be together.
“I’m fine.” Drew lost count of how many times he’d told Jade that since boarding the plane.
Once they arrived, Drew perked himself up for the meetings, media briefs and practice, but the second he left the track, he went right back to being disgruntled. He even felt out of sorts while dining with his friends the night before the race.
Even after being away for a few days, he hadn’t heard from Alana. She was serious about moving on. All of his efforts to cast thoughts of her aside failed. He’d toyed with the idea of giving up on love altogether and returning to his former ways, but he no longer desired that life. He longed to hear from her, to touch her, but the sting of rejection kept him from dialing her number. He’d almost sent her an absentminded update by text and then realized they weren’t on good terms.
Tension convened in Drew’s neck and shoulders. He found himself rolling that injured shoulder and massaging it to ease the tightness.
After dinner, Sean pulled him aside. “What’s up with you, man?”
“What do you mean?” Drew asked.
“You’re not yourself. You seem uptight. I don’t want this to affect you tomorrow.”
“It’s just a little stress from something I had to deal with back home. I’ll be alright.”
“Is it your dad? I thought he was doing better.”
“Yeah.” Drew didn’t bother expanding into the truth. He’d never told Sean about how serious he was about Alana.
“Alright, my man.” Sean patted his back. “Get some rest. We’ve got a race to win.”
When Drew got back to the hotel, Jade was waiting for him. She opened the door as he passed her room. “Hey.”
Drew’s greeting was a lifted chin.
“How was dinner?”
“Pretty good. I’ll see you in the morning.” He wasn’t up for conversation.
Inside, Drew removed his clothes and climbed right into bed. The tension was exhausting. He tried not to think of Alana, but he couldn’t help himself. Nothing he did to distract himself worked. Alana invaded his thoughts on the track, at dinner and especially when Jade was around. She was a physical reminder of his discontentment when it came to Alana.
Despite everything that had happened, he still longed for Alana. He’d loved her long before he ever admitted it to himself. Drew argued with himself. Was he going to sit back and just accept what had happened or should he go after Alana one more time? His heart wasn’t ready to give up, but his mind and ego urged him to move on. Drew wondered if she liked the earrings and if she’d read the note.
Drew allowed the hot shower to massage his shoulders and back. It refreshed him just a little. He stepped out of the shower, headed to the room and picked up his phone.
“I can’t believe this woman infiltrated my system like this.” Drew went back into the bathroom and lifted his toothbrush to his mouth. When he finished he launched one of his favorite music apps to allow soothing jazz music to help him settle down. He tried to get into the rhythm, which was part of his ritual when showering and getting dressed. Alana’s absence made most things seem off-kilter. He was in awe at the amount of patience he’d exhibited with this woman.
Drew slipped into a pair of boxers and headed for bed, but once again his longing for Alana disrupted his sleep. It was the only way he could experience her. It bothered him that she had somehow planted herself in his system and as much as he tried to cut away the memory of her, Alana remained rooted in his heart. He desired her in his dreams as much as he did in reality.
His fitful night of sleep ended with the sun obnoxiously beaming across his face. He shielded his eyes before opening them fully. The dull thumping at his temple returned as it did each morning when his nights were restless. Drew threw back the covers, hopped out of bed and started the coffeemaker. After a full cup, another long shower and two Tylenols, he was ready to meet Sean in the lobby.
It was race day. He had to push dominating thoughts of Alana aside to indulge his second love. The yearning to win set his adrenaline pumping the moment he reached the track. Soaking up the energy of his friends and enthusiasts, Drew was almost himself by the time he got to the locker room. Joking with his fellow bikers and stepping into his jumpsuit brought him closer to his usual unbridled excitement.
“Hey, Sean! Careful out there, I don’t want you swallowing too much of my dust,” Drew teased.
Several riders hooted.
“It will be impossible for me to swallow dust from in front of you.”
“This win is already mine, buddy. You better be right behind me.” Drew pointed at him, teasing and encouraging him at the same time.
“See you at the finish line. Whenever you get there.” Sean pumped his fist and jogged out of the locker room.
Drew and the other racers followed behind.
Winding through the usual throngs of press, staff, groupies and VIPs, they made their way to the pit. The crew looked the bike over. Inspecting the beauty, Drew caressed it with a tender touch. Mounting the bike, he kissed two gloved fingers and touched the handlebars. “This one is ours, baby girl.” He felt his confidence returning. This was his element—the crowd, the noise, people yelling, announcers deliberating over the PA system. His heart pulsated a little faster. The rhythm fueled his exhilaration.
Drew coolly rode over to his starting point, adjacent to a native beauty with all of her subtle curves on display for everyone to see. He thought of Alana.
The flag dropped. Drew released the clutch and took off. The speed was thrilling. The first corner came quickly; Drew leaned in, tightened his legs and shot out of that curve like a rocket. He sprung into first place. Maintaining his lead through the first few laps, Drew glided effortlessly until another racer was at his side. Drew yanked the throttle, springing forward once again, putting distance between him and the person behind him. Another racer gained on him and then kept pace alongside him. Drew dipped his motorcycle from one side to the other, in and out of a deep series of curves.
Several laps in, cruising at 175 miles per hour, Drew’s heart thumped. He boasted an assured smile behind his helmet. He’d managed to maintain his lead for more than half the race. Keeping his eye on the clear track in front of him, Drew focused on technique as he leaned into his next corner.
Two racers passed Drew. He refocused, gaining a lead over one of them. Riding neck and neck with another, he pushed to 180 miles per hour, acquiring a small lead. He felt a jolt from behind—another rider gaining on him. His motorcycle swerved and he began losing control. In an attempt to right the bike, a sharp pain sprang through his shoulder. The bike skirted across the track into the path of oncoming riders rolling at top speed. One of them crashed into him, broadsiding his motorcycle. The impact sent him into the air. When he landed, everything went black.
&n
bsp; Chapter 29
Alana woke with a start. Propelling forward, she patted the sheets in search of her ringing cell phone. Focusing through the darkness, she squinted, noticing the time above all. It was just after five in the morning.
Why was Cadence calling her so early? Sensing that something was wrong, Alana swiped the phone. The call ended before she could answer. Taking a deep breath, Alana dialed back.
“Come on, Cadence. Pick up,” she beckoned.
“Alana!” Cadence answered in a rush.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s Drew.”
Alana’s chest tightened. Cadence sounded like she’d been crying. “What about Drew? Isn’t he in Barcelona?”
“He had an accident... It’s bad.” She sniffled.
Tears sprang to Alana’s eyes and air filled her chest. She hopped out of bed not sure where she was going. She just knew she couldn’t lie there anymore.
“How’d you find out?” Alana walked circles on the floor by the foot of her bed.
“Sean called Blake. Hunter is checking flights for all of us now. Mrs. Barrington is staying behind with their dad. We’re leaving on the first flight available. You should come too.”
Alana thought about how cold she’d been to Drew the day he left. Surely she’d be the last person he would want to see. “I don’t know about that, Cadence.”
“This is Drew! You have much more history with him than one incident. You may be confused about how you feel for him when it comes to your relationship, but I know that you love him as a friend and right now he needs his family and his closest friends. I need you there.” Cadence broke down.
Hearing Cadence cry prompted more of Alana’s tears. Sniffling replaced the words between them. Moments passed before either of them spoke.
Cadence was correct, and in more ways than she knew. Alana did love him but not just as a friend. That was why she’d acted so crazy, pulling away to avoid being hurt. She couldn’t imagine enduring the pain of Drew hurting her. Jade had upset their balance when she injected herself back into their lives and fear had sent Alana cowering.