by Zoey Parker
No. I cut myself off from any such thoughts. Peter was alive. He had to be. I’d know, somehow, in my heart, if he wasn’t. Right?
These thoughts had been tumbling around and around in my head, non-stop, since I first discovered that my little bean was gone, and they showed no signs of abating or stopping.
The phone had been ringing a lot, with MC guys calling in, checking up on me, and to see if we had heard anything yet. Of course, we hadn’t. They were all on the roads, searching as best they could for any signs of Brian’s last known vehicle as listed with state records in Oregon. I didn’t think that was going to do any good, but there was little else to go on.
Brian, being an outdoor enthusiast, was a seasoned camper and hiker. He was a mountain biker. He was very fit. He had been off-radar for many months between when Keith died and the day he showed up and threw the rock through Jack’s window. He could have made a base camp literally anywhere in Arizona, or in New Mexico, or…anywhere.
I had no idea where my baby was. Or if he was being cared for. Or if…
I forced myself to stop the whirl of thoughts as they descended again. The cops were looking. The MC was looking. An Amber Alert had gone out yesterday, and people everywhere were looking. I had to believe that someone, somewhere, had seen Brian, seen something. And that soon I would have my baby back.
My world had become a nightmare, and there was no waking up.
# # #
“Ellie, your phone is ringing, hon. Here you go.” Holly brought it over to me on the couch—I must have left it on the counter in the kitchen. I wasn’t processing everything like I normally would. I felt dissociated from the outside world, from the people around me, from everything. All I could think about was Peter.
“Ellie, pick up the call. It says ‘Caller: Unknown’. It might be the guy. Answer it.”
I shook my head, clearing out the cobwebs, and looked at the phone. She was absolutely right, and suddenly my mind snapped to and I swiped right to accept the call.
“Hello?”
“Say my name.”
I barely recognized the voice at all, but I knew it was Brian. It had to be. The only person calling my cell phone was Jack, and his name showed up as a contact.
“Brian.” I barely had a voice, I was so nervous. It came out almost like a whisper.
“I knew you would know it was me. I knew you would. Come back to me, Ellie. You have to, now.”
“Where’s Peter? Where’s my baby, Brian?” My voice got stronger. I could do this.
“That baby cries a lot, Ellie. How do you stand it? Do you really want a baby that cries so much?”
Was he nuts?—Oh, crap, yes, of course he was. What the hell kind of a person asks a mother if she wants her baby, just because he cries? …Then I realized: at least Brian was referring to Peter in the present tense. That gave me hope that—at least, so far—Peter was okay.
“Brian, tell me where you are, where Peter is. I need my baby. I just want my baby back.” I knew I was crying; I’d been crying so much, it felt like I’d never stop. It garbled my voice some, and I knew Brian could hear it. A part of me hated giving that to him, the knowledge that he hurt me, that he had made me cry. But the bigger part of me just felt so much loss, so much emptiness, that I was powerless to control the sobs.
“I need you to come to me, Ellie. You have to come to me. Alone. Just you. And finally it will just be us. Don’t bring any of those people. That man that you’ve been living with. Don’t bring him, Ellie. I’m warning you. You come alone, and I’ll take you to your screamin’ kid. And we’ll see what we want to do with him then. But you bring anybody—anybody—with you, and you won’t like what’s gonna happen. You hear me?”
“Yes. Yes, okay. I hear you. I should come alone. Where do you want me to go, to meet you? Where are you?”
“Chiricahua. You gotta get to the Echo Canyon trailhead. Then start on the trail. I’ll find you there. And remember, Ellie, you come alone. Or I swear, you won’t have a baby to worry about any more.”
And he hung up.
Chapter 21
Jack
We all headed straight to Chiricahua from wherever we were on the road, without passing Go and without collecting two hundred dollars.
I got there about the same time Ellie did—she took my truck, in which I had secured Peter’s infant seat weeks ago to keep her from ever using the deathtrap piece of shit she had been driving. I’d actually been closer to the park than most since I’d been scouring the south side of Tucson and the desert surrounding, and I could maneuver faster on the bike. I wanted to get maps and the lay of the land as soon as fucking possible, to start to formulate a plan for taking this asshole down.
As an MC, it was SOP to have a messaging system that spread word of marching orders to every member in quick time. So my brothers all turned on a dime, and were all arriving en masse, the only stragglers being those who had been on the north side of the city, and those further upstate. But they were on their way, too. All in.
Many of them had stopped along the way to fill up paniers with water bottles and snacks, trail mixes and bars, in preparation for whatever time we would spend in the park. The Arizona sun is a fierce bitch, and we would all need both sustenance and water to function for any amount of time spent there. My boys came ready, and brought enough for Ellie and myself and anyone else who may not have thought to pause in the rush to get there.
When Ellie pulled up and saw us waiting for her in the parking lot, she started crying again. Did she think she was actually going to be alone for this ordeal? Damn. She probably did. The woman didn’t yet know who we were.
It was the old ladies who had been hanging with her at the house who sounded the alarm about the phone call with McAfee. They had been listening to Ellie’s part, and put together easily enough what directions the psycho gave my wife. They called me first, then their men, and we were off. The system did exactly what it was supposed to.
She climbed down from the truck and came straight into my arms.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby. We’re gonna do this. We get Peter back today. Yeah? We got this, Ellie. This ends today.” She nodded, mopped up her eyes on my sweaty tee, and lifted her blotchy face to me.
“I didn’t expect…”
“You gotta trust us, babe. We will have your back. He said Echo Canyon Trail, right? Okay. Look at this. That trail is way over there, on the east side, so we’re not near the trailhead now. I’ll take you there on the bike, we’ll all be heading over there. The guys who aren’t here yet are gonna be coming in from where we are now, so in case he manages to run and tries to get out this way, he’ll run into them. But all the guys here now, we come with you, and then we’ll follow behind you on the trail. Once you meet up with McAfee, and he takes you to his camp, you gotta trust that we are on your tail, we will take that motherfucker out, and we are going to get both you and Peter out. Alive and well. You with me?”
Relief flooded her face, and more tears—but thank Christ, this time, no sobs—and she nodded her head with more determination. She was strong. It did my heart good to see it.
We hooked her up with a CamelBak filled with a double supply of water and a bunch of trail bars and a few small bags of cheese puff snacks—they were the easiest breadcrumb variation to follow. Then we all were back on the bikes and headed around the park to the campsite closest to the trailhead.
We staggered parking along the off-road track in order to hide the roar of the engines should McAfee have had an ear tuned for us.
Once off the bike, I took Ellie’s hand and intertwined our fingers, leading her to the trailhead. There, I turned her to face me, and took her other hand as well. I needed her to listen to me, to concentrate, and get all of my instructions down. She was new to Arizona, and there was a lot she needed to be aware of.
“You getting an idea of this park, Ellie? It’s completely crazy, the whole thing, and it gets worse the further you go in. It’s a confusing madhouse.
“So you stay on the trail until Brian finds you. Do not take even one step off of it. When McAfee meets up with you, I’m pretty sure you’ll go off-trail quick. Drop those cheese puffs immediately, right there, and keep dropping as much as you can, every few feet.
“If this is where he’s been hiding out for months, he’ll know his way around. He won’t like seeing you drop a trail, Ellie. Do it on the sly. You got plenty of packs in there, use them.
“We will be right behind you. Know that. But you won’t see us. You have to trust me, trust all of us, to have your back. Okay, baby?”
Her eyes were wide with fear and worry, but she nodded and swallowed.
“Also, you gotta drink lots of water. Keep drinking. This sun will kill. We don’t know how long this is gonna take, right? So keep drinking, eat your bars, drop the puffs.
“Let us worry about McAfee, once he finds you. Doubtful he’s gonna have Peter with him when he does—more likely, he’s gonna have camp set up somewhere. You just make him take you there. It’s what he wants to do, anyway. Let him. Try not to let him touch you, though. Makes me crazy to think of his hands on you.
“But the main thing is, you get to Peter, first. We’re packing—all of us. Even you. I put a small handgun in your pack, tucked in between the water reservoirs and your back, you see? It’s locked and loaded. Here, let me show you.”
I slipped it out and showed her how to unlock, and lock, and unlock, and lock it again.
“You only use this if you really have to, El. I hope to God you don’t need to, but I wouldn’t feel right sending you out there without it. You got it if you need it.
“But remember: it’s not on you to take him down. Let us do that. You just get to the baby, do what you need to, to take care of him. We’re gonna be minutes, at most, right behind you. We got this, El.”
She nodded, and I wrapped my arms around her, my head bowed down to face-plant in her hair, breathing her in. We stayed there for long moments. I think she was gathering her courage, while I was willing her strength and comfort and determination.
I hated sending her out there, alone, to meet the fuck-wad who had stolen her baby and continually fucked with her peace of mind. I’d had enough. This ended today. On that point, I was fucking determined. McAfee was done. It was just a matter of minutes now.
But as much as I hated the circumstances today, I was aware that a part of me was thriving like it hadn’t done in weeks. I loved that she was seeking me out for comfort, and that she was putting her trust in me. I felt good about us again, and I knew I would always do everything in my power to make sure she was protected and safe.
She was mine. Peter was mine. No matter what any agreement was, no matter whether we were married or not.
I had got my woman back, and despite the unknown that was on our immediate horizon in this park, I felt better and stronger and more sure than ever. We were gonna be good. I knew it.
I tightened my hold on her briefly, kissed the top of her head, and whispered, “You ready?”
She backed up, put her hands on my ribs and pushed me away, then tipped her head up to look me straight in the eye. With great determination, she spoke, low but strong. “Yes. I’m ready.”
Damn. She was fierce. I nodded, and went for her hand again, to give her one more minute of my support and strength—
And she pulled away. She wouldn’t look at me anymore. Obviously, she didn’t want to touch me anymore.
That fucking hurt.
But she needed to do what she needed to do, and I got that. I didn’t like it, but I understood it.
And I respected her for it.
She wasn’t hesitating now. She strode straight over to the trailhead, dug into her bag for the first pack of cheese puffs, pulled it open, and began her journey into the twisted rock formations.
My heart clenched for a moment, and then I got a grip. I had a job to do, and it was time to do it.
I grabbed up my own backpack of water reservoirs and snacks, checked that my holstered guns were strapped and fully loaded, signaled to my brothers that we were moving, and followed her two minutes later.
It was go-time.
Chapter 22
Ellie
When I walked away from Jack and entered the trailhead, I felt like I had finally gotten a firm grip on my priorities.
Jack was not one of them.
I needed to focus solely on Peter.
Relying on Jack, leaning on him, was disastrous for me personally. I had finally figured that out. I was in this alone. All I had was Peter, and once I got him back, Peter would be my lodestone.
Not that I wasn’t grateful and super-appreciative of all the help and support and generosity of Jack and all of the Iron Bandits, including the old ladies. They were awesome to me, and to Peter, and I felt way better about entering this trailhead knowing they had my back, and had a plan for taking down the psycho. My newest determination to keep independent of Jack really had nothing to do with today’s activities, which considered alone, might have made me come to a completely opposite realization.
But I also knew that once today was over, I needed to be Jack-free. I needed to focus on building a life as a single mom for my sweet son, because I was utterly determined that I would get him back. Within minutes, hopefully, or hours, at most, I prayed to God.
Oh, I knew what Jack said, what he had meant when he told me that the MC would all have my back. That was the way they functioned, and since Keith had been among their members, I also understood that they would always be there for me and Peter, should we ever need them like this in the future—good God, but I hoped not. Once was plenty, thank you very much. More than enough.
But leaning too much on Jack, focusing too much on Jack, made me lose track of my baby. My mind had been on Jack, not on Peter, when Brian had entered the house and stolen my son. I had forgotten to turn the alarm back on after a quick run to the grocery store yesterday morning, as well. It was a series of unfortunate events, really. But every time my mind wandered to all things Jack-related, it was like I got lost in a fog.
And that was unsafe for Peter. I needed to cut that crap out of my life. It made me a bad mother. And that was unacceptable.
So, Jack had to go. Regardless of how great he was being today. That hug he gave me just before I started out on the trail, to me was like a send-off. I chose to take it that way. I knew that’s not exactly what he was probably thinking about, but it’s where I needed to go with it. So when I pulled away, I was ready. For Brian. For Peter. For whatever came next.
I was going to get my son back. And then, I was going to be Super Mom.
I was going to kick ass, starting immediately.
# # #
I followed the twisty-turny trail, in awe of my surroundings. The living rock formations were like something out of a Hollywood movie set for Planet Freak Out. They were huge boulder-like things, but also like columns, rising in bunches and dotting the land everywhere I could see.
The trail made no obvious linear sense, and I almost got dizzy as I followed the path.
Just being on the trail alone was a scary thing. I felt vulnerable. It took an effort not to look behind me, like Orpheus, in search of a chance sighting of Jack or any of the MC guys.
But I remembered my determination, stiffened my spine, and plunged onward. I could do this, and I would. Peter was out there, and he needed me. That was all that mattered.
I walked onward for what felt like forever, but what was probably closer to a half-hour, maybe forty minutes. The landscape had opened up enough for me to see that I was generally following along the bottom of a canyon, with walls rising up to be topped off by more of those amazing, intimidating rock columns. If Brian had wanted to choose a campgrounds that would give him an advantage over a person less familiar with outdoor survival—like myself—he could hardly have made a better choice. Had I not known that the MC was at my back, I would have been entirely freaked out by now.
The trail took another
curve, and the vista narrowed again. It was beautiful, but also somewhat suffocating. I stopped for a moment in some shade to dig out a trail bar and sip some water, when I heard something rustle ahead.
Finally. Brian appeared, complete with camo paint on his face. What a fucking freak.
But then again, I thought, the saying was true. Just because a person might be paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get him. There was a whole pack of people out to get Brian today.
Before he got very close, I pretended to jostle myself awkwardly, adjusting my backpack, in order to dump some of the cheese puffs on the ground, to mark the meeting spot.