by Sue Edge
Turning back, I gathered all the bags of food and carried them into the kitchen. If we were lucky, they would stretch out our food to five days, although by the end, everyone would be complaining, I had no doubt. The tins of food that remain uneaten in people’s cupboard tend to be the stuff no one wants to eat, like my impulse purchase of tinned artichokes. Mike and Ken’s contributions included tins of kippers, red cabbage, bamboo shoots and spam, which, in my eyes, just proved my theory. Heck, I didn’t even know spam was still being produced!
A giggle alerted me to the return of my daughter. As I gathered some bottles of juice and soda in my arms, I heard Roy groan. Glancing over the pile in my arms, I saw Sarah poking Roy in the cheek. Grinning inside, I headed for the kitchen. About time he woke up, I thought, quelling the little voice that said a good mother would teach her daughter that it was rude to poke sleeping people.
And then my world fell apart.
My daughter screamed in pain and fear. I dropped everything as I spun around, a cold sweat breaking out all over my body. Roy clutched my daughter in his outstretched hands, pulling her towards him. The cold eyes, the pallid skin…oh God, how could I have missed this?!
I flew into the room and, as he brought his mouth to her arm, I grabbed Sarah around the waist and wrenched her away.
Kaye came running into the room. “What’s happened?” She cried.
Ignoring her, I examined my daughter feverishly. There was blood all over my daughter’s hand. The room spun as I saw bloody stumps where her middle fingers should have been.
No, no, no. For a moment, I wanted to die. She had been bitten and I knew, without a shred of doubt, what that meant.
4
“No!” I screamed in furious denial. Not as long as there was breath in my body.
I knew what I had to do. I saw Kaye staring wide-eyed at Roy as he rose to his feet, a trace of my daughter’s blood on his lips. I felt a momentary anguish at leaving my inexperienced sister to deal with the monster that had once been Roy, but my child had to come first. “Stop him, Kaye! I have to help Sarah.”
Kaye nodded fearfully and stepped forward as Roy started towards us. I ran past her as I headed for the ironing basket in the corner. Sarah was screaming loudly now, having registered the bloody stumps on her hand. Falling to my knees, I grabbed a sock and wrapped it around her arm. Twisting, I proceeded to make a tourniquet. As I twisted it tighter and tighter,
Sarah’s screams turned to howls. “Hurts, mummy, hurts.”
Tears dripped down my cheeks. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Glancing up, I saw Kaye spin and land a fierce roundhouse kick that sent Roy flying back into the sofa. I blinked in surprise. While I had known that my sister was a black belt in theory, this was the first time I had ever seen her in action. It was undoubtedly the first time she had ever had to use it outside of the dojo!
Satisfied that no blood - or virus-could get through the tourniquet, I jumped to my feet and grabbed the long handed shovel near the door. As Roy rose to his feet and turned towards me, I ran at him, holding the shovel like a spear. With a violent thrust, I speared him through the throat and propelled him backwards. The shovel tip buried itself into the wall, leaving Roy dangling like some grotesque marionette for a second, before the body fell to the floor. The head rolled off the shovel and bounced along the floor, before coming to a rest against the telephone stand.
Mike, Ken and Emma leapt over the closed baby gate at the top of the verandah stairs and charged into the room. They came to a stop as they took in the scene before them.
“Oh, my God.” The aghast whisper came from Michele as she ran into the room followed by Lucas. “You killed Roy.”
I looked at her, adrenaline still coursing through my body. “He was one of them. And he…he bit Sarah.”
Her hands flew to her mouth in horror. “Oh mummy, no, that means…”
Grimly, I turned away from the body lying limply against the wall. “Not if I can help it.”
Running past Mike and the others, I bolted down the stairs, clambered over the high fence and dashed to the ambulance. I flung its doors open and started rummaging through the supplies. Within minutes, I had located the scalpel in the trach set, the morphine and the other bits and pieces. I sat back for a moment, trying to center myself. My hands were shaking so badly that I knew I would not be of any use to Sarah if I didn’t calm down. I took a deep breath and then another. It would all work out, I told myself, Sarah was going to be just fine. I can do this.
Upstairs, Mike and Ken had removed Roy’s body. I didn’t know where they had put it and I didn’t care. Picking up my crying daughter, I laid her gently on the dining table. I grabbed the vial of morphine and drew the quantity I would need for anaesthesia into the syringe.
Emma came up quietly beside me. “Lori…”
I sent her a hard look. “If you’re here to help, great. If you’re going to try to talk me out of it, then get the hell out of the way.”
She touched my arm, her eyes searching mine. “I’m not exactly sure what you’re planning, Lori.”
Searching for a vein, I placed the needle carefully against my daughter’s skin. I smiled gently at her. “This needle will make all the pain go away, baby.”
She hiccupped tearfully. “Hurts, mummy.”
I injected the morphine and then stroked Sarah’s curly hair. “There. It will be all better soon. You’ll see.”
As her sobs faded and her eyes slowly closed, I turned to Emma. The others stood around us, their faces reflecting their concern and compassion. My oldest daughter looked sick with fear. I felt sick, too. I could hardly believe I was going to do this.
“I am going to amputate her arm.” I heard someone gasp and start to cry. Looking up, I saw my sister’s face as she shook her head in disbelief. Closing my eyes for a moment, I looked back at Emma. “Will you help me?”
“You know I will, if you think it will work.” She said softly.
I shrugged, struggling to keep the despair I felt from my face. “I applied a tourniquet within seconds. If I amputate now, at least she’ll have a chance.”
“Well, then.” Coming to a decision, Emma nodded. “Let’s do it.”
She turned and briskly issued instructions to the group. Michele and Lucas kept the other kids away while the remaining adults organised boiling water, lights and sheets.
Looking at my daughter’s peaceful face, I wondered for a moment how I was ever going to explain this to her. Hey baby, mummy had to remove your arm… Emma touched my arm. “Ready?” She asked gently. I nodded, taking a deep breath.
Carefully, I made an incision. I worked methodically and clinically, separating flesh and muscle, until finally, the limb was off and I could focus on suturing the wound. Then I wrapped the stump and, finally, placed a sock over it to keep the bandage in place.
Sighing, I stood back. My baby lay so still, a stump where her soft, plump arm had been. Please let this be worth it, I prayed to each and any god that might be listening. Let her be okay.
“You did good, Lori.” Emma smiled at me. “She’s going to be fine.”
I tried to smile back at her but I just couldn’t manage it. The emotions I had been holding at bay for the last hour finally overwhelmed me and I started shaking like a leaf. Kaye hurried over and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight as I started to sob uncontrollably.
****
In the kids’ room, I sat beside Sarah, stroking her hair, as she drifted off to sleep. Her brother was already fast asleep at the other end of the bed while the cousins were tucked in the top bunk above.
She looked peaceful. Thankfully, there was enough medication in the ambulance to keep her comfortable for several days. A hand touched my shoulder. Kaye sat down beside me.
“How are you holding up?”
I shook my head. “I saw Roy get bitten this morning, Kaye. How could I have forgotten?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lori. He was barely showi
ng any signs of being ill, let alone that he was about to turn into one of them.”
I sighed miserably. “I know. I think…it had been so many hours since he was bitten that I assumed that he was okay. And Sarah paid the price.”
Silently, we watched my little girl sleep. Glancing at her watch, Kaye stood up. “I’m on lookout duty. Are you going to be okay?”
I snorted. “As okay as I can be, having just chopped my own daughter’s arm off.” The thought still made me sick in the stomach.
“You did what you had to do, Lori, to save her life. You have no idea how much I admire your courage.”
Startled, I met her eyes. “Huh?”
Kaye leaned forward and stroked my cheek. “That’s one of the things that make you special, Lori. You see what needs to be done and you act, no doubts, no hesitation. If it had been my child…” She stopped and swallowed, eyes suddenly dark. “I don’t think I could have done it.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.” I burst out. “I keep wondering - was I wrong? Maybe she wouldn’t have turned into one of them! It’s not like I know for sure…What if I cut off her arm for nothing? What if it doesn’t even work and I put her through that pain for nothing. What if…”
Kaye placed a finger on my mouth, cutting me off. “Lori, you need to stop torturing yourself right now. You did what you had to do to save Sarah. That’s as much as anyone could ask of you, including yourself. So I don’t want to hear you talking like that anymore. Got it?”
I smiled tentatively. “Got it, boss.” Her belief in me almost managed to reassure me that I had done the right thing.
“Besides, we need your undivided attention here and now, so snap out of it.” She grinned. “You don’t expect me to make all the decisions tonight, do you?”
“God, no!” I smiled back, forcing myself to respond to her attempt at levity. “The last time I let you do that, we ended up with a hot pink bedroom throughout our teen years!”
“Hey!” She pushed me, dark eyes flaring in mock outrage. “That colour was all the rage at the time!”
After she left, I sat beside my babies for a long time. Emma crept in quietly behind me. “Go get some sleep, Lori. I’ll monitor her.”
God, sleep. Reluctantly, I nodded and stood up. “Call me in a couple of hours, okay?”
She pushed me firmly out of the room. “Go.”
On the way to my sister’s bedroom, I checked on the other kids. Michele and Lucas were in the office, sharing an earphone as they listened to an iPod. As I passed the spare room, I saw Jessie lying tucked in the large bed, lit by a soft nightlight. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable.
“Hey.” I smiled as I walked towards her. “What are you still doing awake? I thought you’d be out like a light by now.”
“It’s too quiet.” She mumbled into the sheets, big brown eyes locked on me. I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed away the hair from her eyes. “I know, but that’s a good thing! Quiet means nothing exciting is happening and nothing exciting means no trouble. So you can sleep without worrying.” Jessie nodded but her eyes remained locked on me.
“Go on, move over.” I jostled her gently. “I’ll lie here with you until you go to sleep, okay?” She wiggled back a little to make room for me.
As soon as I lay down, a wave of tiredness swept over me. I had not realised how exhausted I was until this moment. We lay together quietly for a moment, heads touching. Just as I started to wonder if she had fallen asleep, I heard her soft voice.
“My mummy used to do this.”
“I bet she was a lovely person.” I whispered back, my heart going out to her. “Do you want to tell me about her?”
There was silence for a moment.
“She laughed a lot.” Jessie spoke in a low sad voice. “And she liked to sing a lot. She was pretty bad at it, though.”
My throat tightened. “Yeah well, in my opinion, people who sing even though they are bad at it are extra special because they are brave enough to do what they love in spite of what other people think. I tell my kids that all the time when they complain about my singing.”
I saw a hint of a smile warm her solemn face.
“I think mummy would have liked you, Lori. And daddy, too.”
“I wish I could have met them. They sure have an amazing daughter.”
We lay in silence for several moments.
“Lori?”
“Yes, Jessie?”
“You won’t die, too, will you?”
I closed my eyes. Then, turning to face her, I stroked her face gently. “I promise you that I will do everything within my powers to keep us all alive.”
Trying to lighten the atmosphere, I smiled cheekily at her. “If I am forced to, I will pull out my secret weapon and destroy the zombies.”
“What’s that?”
“My amazing voice. Michele swears that my singing makes anyone listening want to kill themselves.”
****
Not surprisingly, I fell asleep beside Jessie. A few hours later, I woke up with a start. Sarah! Carefully swinging my legs over the bed so as not to wake Jessie, I made my way to the babies’ room. Emma and Ken sat in the corner, heads close together as they talked softly. A pleased smile crossed my face at the sight. It was nice seeing Emma interested in someone with a bit of depth and character.
Emma looked up at me approvingly. “You look a whole lot better.”
“I feel it. How is she?” Even from the door, I could see my baby’s colour was good and her breathing was regular. Relief coursed through me.
“She’s doing well. She’s going to be fine, Lori.” She smiled at me reassuringly.
“We’ve got it covered here.” Ken added quietly. “But Mike could probably do with some backup, if you’re up to it.”
“Okay.” Taking one last look at Sarah to reassure myself, I walked quietly through the house towards the verandah. The whole house was dark, lit by a few discreet candles behind drawn curtains. The less attention we drew to ourselves tonight, the better.
Sliding the verandah doors open, I quietly walked outside, observing Mike’s large frame sitting in a chair as he kept watch over the street.
“Nothing exciting to report, I assume?” I murmured as I pulled up a chair beside him. I saw the gleam of his eyes as he glanced at me.
“Nope.”
We sat in companionable silence for a few minutes as my eyes adjusted to the dark. The moon was hidden behind clouds heavy with rain and the air had a cool chill to it. I kept my fingers crossed that the rain would hold off. At this time of the year, when it rained, it dropped like a heavy curtain. There were times I’d had to pull the car to the side of the road because visibility had dropped to zero.
A heavy mist lay on top of the hills surrounding us, creating an illusion of being cut off from the rest of the world. Below us, the street lay still and quiet. Nothing stirred. It was unnerving and reassuring at the same time.
“Would it be too much to hope it stays like this forever?” I sighed
“Yeap.”
I narrowed my eyes at Mike. “I bet you were a real party pooper in your past life.”
Grinning at me, Mike propped his rifle on his lap. “Yeap.”
I laughed softly. “So what is the plan tonight?”
He pulled out a pistol and held it out to me. I hesitated briefly before taking it.
“First, some practice time.” He stood up. “Might as well make the most of our time on watch.”
Standing up, I joined him at the balcony. His presence beside me was solid and comforting. I turned and pointed the gun at a palm tree. “Now show me how to use this thing.”
For the next half an hour, we practiced sighting, loading and shooting, although without actually firing. As we looked out over the street, I heard noise in the distance. Frowning, I strained to discern what it was.
“Gunfire.” Mike stated, his voice low. “Not far away.”
My heart dropped. “Maybe the army will keep the zombies at bay. They m
ight never get here.”
In the moonlight, I could see the scepticism in Mike’s face. I couldn’t blame him; I didn’t even believe what I said.
We listened to the sounds of battle in the distance. It was continuous and clear now. Ken and Emma quietly joined us. I noticed Emma slip her hand into Ken’s. It made my heart ache with a sudden yearning for my Charles. He had been my rock for twenty years, ever since we’d met as university students. I had always been able to rely on him to make me laugh, to reassure me and, most of all, to always love me. He would never be here to do that again. Leukaemia had put an end to that.
My thoughts shifted to Joe. I depended so much on him now, probably more than was healthy. At times it felt like he and Kaye were the only things keeping me sane.
The first few months after Charles’ death had been unbearable, even though I’d known it was coming for a long time. It had only been in the last few months that I had felt like a whole person again. And that was in large part thanks to Joe’s constant, comforting presence
I wondered if he was okay. Was he happily fishing right now, completely unaware of the ordeal we were enduring? And Andy? I had been so completely focused on my own dramas, that I had barely spared a thought for my sister and what she must be going through.
We stood in silence for a few minutes with our own thoughts. Sighing, Emma turned away. “I have a feeling it is going to be a long night.”
5
The battle sounds disappeared as the skies opened up. The rain fell in a heavy sheet that made it impossible to see beyond our verandah. It drummed upon the roof in a hypnotic beat that soothed the spirit.
As we sat on the verandah, I had to admit to myself that I enjoyed Mike’s company. His laidback personality, dry humour and quick reactions made him someone that I had come to depend on completely. I already knew that I could trust him with my life. And if I was being completely honest with myself, he was very easy on the eyes.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Mike interjected. Fortunately, it was dark so I was pretty sure he couldn’t see the blush on my cheeks.
“Just wondering what’s going on over the hill.” I lied. I had the uncomfortable feeling that he didn’t believe me but he let it go.