But as the days passed and he heard nothing from her, he’d become more and more convinced that it would be him who would have to make the effort to win Amelia back. A grand gesture, something that would show her how much he loved her and how much he regretted his actions.
That was how he came to be at the Tiffany store on Fifth Avenue, the day before Christmas Eve, staring down at the glittering display of engagement rings. A blonde woman dressed in black was hovering over him.
Amelia liked things that were different, she wouldn’t want a ring that looked like what everyone else had. But her tastes were simple, she wouldn’t want anything too large or fussy, either.
“What color is her hair?” the woman in black asked, while toying with the keys on her wrist.
“Red,” he said. “Soft red.”
“And what’s her style?” He felt himself relax a fraction, felt his heartbeat slow a little. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a hard decision after all. Surely this woman had helped a hundred men like him, dazed and unsure, pick out the perfect ring for their partner.
“Simple,” he said. “She doesn’t like anything trendy, and she wouldn’t want anything too big.” He felt his confidence growing. “She usually wears jeans and a t-shirt, a simple dress for special occasions. She likes bright colors and is not afraid to wear red even though she’s a redhead.”
He loved that about her. She didn’t care what other people thought, or what the rules were. She made up her own and did what she thought was for the best. He knew now they would have made the right decision together if only he’d trusted her.
The woman reached into the case and pulled out a ring. “I think she would love this one,” she said, holding it out.
It was a plain oval diamond set in pale rose gold. A simple ring, and David could picture it on Amelia’s hand. “It’s not part of our ordinary stock,” the woman said, “It was a custom order that was canceled.”
"A ring in need of a second chance, just like me."
The sales clerk looked confused but decided against asking for an explanation.
“Do you want to know the price first?” she asked.
“No. That’s the one.” David pulled out his wallet and handed her a credit card. David suddenly felt very calm. This was it, he was certain. This was the ring he would give Amelia when he asked her to be his wife.
Amelia's absence was like a hundred-pound weight on his chest. and David honestly didn't know how he was going to make it through the coming weeks.
He wanted to tell his parents about his decision, but he knew that his mother would most definitely not approve. Instinct told him to wait until he spoke to Amelia, to gauge her feelings towards him. Was it worth riling up his mother for what could turn out to be nothing? But then he thought of how she had acted towards Amelia, and the way he’d ignored it, and felt immediately guilty.
When his mother hugged him, pressing her cool, lipsticked mouth against his cheek, it was all he could do not to go on the offensive. He hated that she was pleased over a situation that was making him so unhappy. Twenty years from now, he wanted to be able to look back on this period and laugh at his temporary stupidity. He was distracted throughout dinner, and it wasn't until he'd had his third post dinner Scotch that he found the courage to speak up.
“Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you,” His mother looked up at him. “What is it, David?”
He took a deep breath. “When Amelia comes back from Scotland, I’m going to propose to her.”
His father said nothing. David knew full well that his wife would do the talking for both of them.
“But, you said you broke up,” his mother said. There was more than a hint of anger in her voice.
“We did,” David said. He took a deep breath, fighting to keep his nerves in check. His fingers tapped against his leg anxiously. He had never really stood up to his mother before.
She’d always made her love something to be achieved, something to strive for. He saw now that she’d done this with Amelia. She’d held her approval just out of reach, giving occasional compliments, small concessions but nothing more. His mother had waged a war of attrition with Amelia, waiting for the effort of trying to achieve approval exhaust her. He felt badly about it on occasion, but he hadn't been prepared to damage his relationship with his mother. That had now changed.
“True, we did break up but we also agreed to reassess our relationship when she came back.” He held his mother’s gaze, refusing to look away. “I was wrong not to include her in the decision to take this job, and wrong to insist on the move. We were together for four years and I should have shown her some respect.” He suddenly felt lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted from him.
“You could do so much better, David,” his mother said.
“I love her,” he said, simply. “I want her back in my life.”
“Well, of course you are going to miss her after such a long relationship. She wasn't right for you, she wasn't worthy of you. After all, she agreed to break up—she didn’t want to come with you to New York.”
“I shouldn’t have surprised her with it,” David said again. “It was a shock. I think once I tell her how sorry I am, how much I want her in my life, she’ll change her mind.”
“She is not the right woman for you, David,” his mother insisted.
He was annoyed both by his mother's intransigence and by his inability to deal with it. She was relentless. He paused, not sure how to negotiate this new territory. His intentions were clear, but his mother was refusing to have any of it. David knew he couldn’t back down, but looking at her cool, impassive face, he was a scolded child again. He felt that sharp longing that he’d felt, the need for her to approve, to extend her love and acceptance.
There was a long moment of silence, and David fought hard not to relent and break the tension. Surely if he stuck to his guns and prepared his mother now, she would be kinder to Amelia once they were back together?
“I want you to be happy,” his mother finally said, breaking yet another awkward silence. “Just think very carefully about this, David. Please. There are so many women out there, so many who will really understand you in a way that Amelia cannot. Besides, wouldn't she be happier with someone more like herself. More on the same level”
David could think of nothing else to say. He sat for a moment, his hands on his knees, and he tried to think of something. But all he could do was nod, and hope that with time, his mother would come around.
He’d made his decision.
Chapter 9
Amelia went back to Adam’s farm for the tour he had promised. He had dressed for the occasion in jeans, flannel shirt, gumboots and a heavy canvas jacket. It just happened to be Christmas Day.
“Sheep or horses first?” he asked, grinning at her. The tension of the previous meeting was gone, and Amelia smiled warmly back. “Horses,” she said, and Adam gestured ahead.
“This way then.”
The horse barn was small, consisting of four stalls and all were filled. One horse had his head hanging out over the edge of the stall, a tall bay with a blaze down the front of his face. He made a nickering sound as Amelia walked towards him, and she held her hand out, letting him sniff her.
“You’re comfortable around horses,” Adam observed.
“I used to ride them as a child. I stopped when I left home for school.”
“Would you want to go riding sometime?”
Amelia turned, her eyes widening. “I would love to,” she said enthusiastically.
Adam grinned. “Alright then. We’ll plan on it.”
The other horses began to pop their heads out of their stalls—first a dark grey, then a black, then another bay. The latter snorted impatiently, and Adam fished carrots out of his pockets, walking from one to the next, doling out treats. Amelia watched him, trying, with some difficulty, to keep her thoughts on the task at hand. He looked so at home, his gait loose and relaxed as he walked from one stall to the other.
&n
bsp; “You look like you’re so at ease here,” she said before she could stop herself.
Adam paused, turning to look at her. He was quiet for several seconds, and Amelia mentally kicked herself for saying anything. “I grew up here,” he said finally. “Guess it’s just what I’m used to.”
Amelia couldn’t help wondering why he was so sensitive about living on the farm. She followed him, hoping that she hadn’t put him on edge.
They exited the barn. “These are the pens,” he said. There were several sheep, fluffy and short-legged, milling about. He pointed to a large building attached to the pens. “That’s their shelter in case of bad weather. They tend to like to be outside though, even in the worst of the cold.”
Adam turned to her suddenly. “What do you say we go on that ride now?”
Amelia blinked, hesitating, but she couldn’t think of any reason not to. She had no other visits scheduled for the day. “Sure,” she managed, suddenly nervous at the prospect.
“I’ll put you on Jacob, the bay,” Adam said. “He’s pretty easygoing.”
Amelia let out a breath of relief as she followed Adam back into the barn and into the tack room. Following his lead, she gathered up saddle, pad and bridle, and headed to fetch her horse.
Fifteen minutes later, they were tacked and ready to go. Amelia mounted up first, and Adam checked her girth for her one last time, tightening it another notch. He mounted his horse then, a dark grey named Bonnie, who was already stomping impatiently.
“Follow me,” he said, nudging his horse. She hopped forwards, kicking a little as he urged her out. “She’s got some energy,” he explained. “She’ll be good in a bit. Just don’t get right behind me.”
Amelia nudged Jacob, and the horse moved smoothly forward without complaint. She was careful to stay to the side of Bonnie, not wanting to be kicked. The mare still seemed fractious, tossing her head and mouthing at the bit. Adam stayed motionless atop her, his long, legs gripping her sides as he maneuvered her out of the barn and out into the field. Amelia glanced up at the threatening sky nervously. She heard Adam laugh, and she glanced over to see him looking at her. “Don’t worry, lassie,” he said, deliberately exaggerating his accent. “I’ll see you home safe and sound.” He turned Bonnie to the right, and then pressed his heels into her sides. She snorted and then leapt forwards, taking off in a smooth gallop.
Amelia felt a surge of adrenaline which was quickly followed by a newfound determination. She knew how to ride a horse and Adam was going to find that out. She gave Jacob more rein, dug her heels into his sides, and he responded, launching into a smooth gallop as she leaned forward over his neck, urging him on. She saw Adam glance over his shoulder, grinning as he saw her racing to catch up.
She was just barely able to take in the scenery as it swept by. They galloped across the fields, hooves kicking up the light covering of windswept snow as they swept through it. Her heart was racing, and blood was pounding in her ears as Jacob picked up the pace. He clearly wasn’t about to lose this race without a fight. She laughed at Adam’s expression as they passed him.
Adam pulled ahead of her again, and she heard his strained shout for her to follow him as he veered to the left. Somewhat reluctantly, she slowed Jacob a fraction to fall behind. A few minutes later, Adam began to slow Bonnie. They were heading for a thin silvery line that ran through the meadow up ahead.
Adam trotted up to the edge of it, and Amelia followed, reining Jacob to a stop next to Bonnie. It was a wide frozen stream. “This is usually where we stop,” Adam explained. “I thought you might like to see it.”
“It’s stunning,” Amelia said. It was dull glass under the cloudy sky, reflecting the grey above it, but she could imagine how it might look if the sun came out, a glittering mirror in the sky. Even in the gloom, it was beautiful. The wind skimmed over it, brushing the foliage on either side, and Amelia shivered atop Jacob.
“Are you cold?” Adam asked, concerned.
“No,” Amelia said. “I just didn’t realize how utterly gorgeous the landscape was going to be here.”
She turned to glance at Adam. “Damn, this is a great way to spend Christmas Day,”
“Christmas Day? So it is,” Adam murmured. “I’d forgotten all about it.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, the horses snorting and stamping impatiently as they looked at the frozen stream.
“Well,” Adam finally said, breaking the silence. “You’ll just have to stay for dinner, then.”
Amelia smiled. “Are you sure?”
“Can’t have you eating alone on Christmas Day, now can we?”
“I usually try to get home before dark.”
“I can give you a ride back, if you like.” He paused. “Or you could stay.”
Amelia looked up, catching his eyes. His face was perfectly still, not betraying any emotion. “I’d really like you to,” he said quietly.
“But, you said…”
“I know what I said.” His voice was gruff. “And I realized I shouldn’t have said it. I like your company. I’d like to enjoy it before you,” he cleared his throat. “Before you leave.”
Amelia looked at him for a long moment. A part of her thought she should say no, that she should go home and make her own dinner, and go to bed alone. But the memory of that first night was still fresh in her mind, the heat of his body pressed against her in the firelight, the soft thickness of his hair in her hands, the hard thickness of him buried inside her body. The thought was enough to make her shiver with desire, and she knew if she said no she’d regret it. How could she not?
“Alright,” she said softly. “I’ll stay.”
Adam maneuvered Bonnie alongside Jacob, and he reached out with one hand, holding the reins firmly in the other. His fingers ran down Amelia’s jaw, turning her face to him, and then he leaned forwards, capturing her mouth in a heated kiss.
The wind sprang up, catching her hair and tossing it around her face, but she barely noticed as she returned the kiss, leaning forward and letting her lips part as his tongue swept along them, urging her mouth open. She gasped softly, and when she pulled back, his eyes were dark with lust.
“Home?” he said softly.
“Let’s go,” Amelia said, smiling mischievously as him as she heeled Jacob, and he leapt forwards. “See you there!” she shouted, and she just barely heard Adam’s laugh, and then Bonnie’s hoofbeats as he followed in her wake.
Jacob knew the way home, and although she knew it was a bad idea to let a horse run home, she guessed it wouldn’t hurt just this once. She just barely beat Adam and Bonnie back to the stable, reining Jacob to a halt in the yard just as Adam came pounding up behind her, Bonnie snorting with frustration at being stopped.
Adam was off his mount in a flash and next to her, reaching for her waist as she swung her leg over Jacob’s back. He gripped her as she slid down, her body making solid contact with his as she slipped to the ground. She turned in the circle of his arms, her breath coming a little faster as he looked down at her, his hair tousled around his face from the wind. She reached forward, brushing a lock of it behind his ear, just as he’d done before that first kiss in her kitchen. He bent then, pressing his mouth to hers, and she wrapped her arms around his neck then, her body arching forward, giving herself up to the sensations. She was only here for a little while. Shouldn’t she enjoy it while it lasted? Life was too short to worry about what would happen when she had to leave.
The kiss went on until the stamping of the horses interrupted them, and Adam pulled back, a sheepish grin on his face. “Let’s get these guys untacked and fed,” he said. “Then I’ll make you dinner.”
“And then?” Amelia asked, grinning at him.
“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?” He patted her lightly on the ass as he walked past her.
Amelia followed behind him with Jacob, her heart pounding. Something felt different about tonight, different from the spontaneous passion of the first night.
/> Chapter 10
“What are you making?” she asked, eyeing the cubed lamb on one of the cutting boards. She was not a vegetarian, but the thought of eating lamb so soon after petting the sheep made her feel a bit queasy.
“Shepherd’s pie,” Adam said. “Not exactly a traditional Christmas dinner, but I don’t have a roast or a turkey on hand.”
“Shepherd’s pie sounds delicious,” Amelia assured him. “Seems to be the national dish here.”
She watched him put the meat into the skillet. This was far from a traditional Christmas, but she was finding, to her surprise, that she didn’t mind that at all.
It was six o'clock according to the sunray clock on the wall. David and his parents would probably be sitting down to Christmas dinner now. The table spread with a velvet runner, set with china and crystal. The atmosphere would be, subdued, bordering on formal. There would be maids pouring their wine and serving their meal.
She’d never thought she would miss her home, but the frigid formality of David’s parents’ home had made her wish for the casual, buffet style Christmas dinners of her childhood—a turkey that was slightly too dry, green beans smothered in cream of mushroom soup and fried onions, and a couple of bottles of wine from the clearance aisle.
The aroma of garlic and sage was starting to fill the kitchen, and Amelia sniffed appreciatively. “That smells amazing,” she said, walking up to peer around Adam.
“It’s going to taste even better,” Adam assured her.
“Very modest of you,” she teased.
He shrugged, glancing at her and grinning. “What can I say? I know what I’m good at.” He winked at her, and Amelia felt a delicious shiver run down her spine.
After dinner, Adam wouldn’t hear of her offer of help with the dishes. Amelia put the kettle on the stove for tea, and then wandered into the small living room, poking at the fire that Adam had started just before dinner. The chill was now well and truly off and the air was suffused with a welcoming coziness. There were no decorations for Christmas, nothing to make the evening feel especially festive, but Amelia felt more content than she had in a very, very long time. She sank onto the couch, toying with the edge of the knitted afghan thrown over one arm. She could almost picture herself staying here, nestled away, insulated from the crazy world outside.
Three if by Sea: MMF Bisexual Romance Page 6