“Callum lives in Edinburgh,” Amelia said. “Interesting coincidence.”
“It had nothing to do with that,” he said firmly. “They have an excellent program, and it isn’t a huge move. When I applied I was barely even speaking to him.”
“But now you are ummm...” Amelia said. “Clearly you’ve reconnected, and this sets things up nicely for the two of you. Living in the same city and all that.”
“And so what if it does?” Adam sounded exasperated. “You never gave me any inclination that this, whatever this is between us, could go anywhere. You’ve been very clear all along that you’re going back to Chicago. What did you expect me to do, sit here and pine over you, even though there would be no chance of you coming back?”
“No,” Amelia said quietly. “That’s not what I expected. I just…” she trailed off for a moment. “I’ve never had any idea of how this could work. I had no idea you were thinking of leaving the farm, and anyway, I wasn’t sure I could see making such a huge change for the sake of a relationship. After all, if I was willing to do that, shouldn’t I have done that for David?”
“He didn’t bother to ask if you wanted to,” Adam pointed out.
“The more time I’ve spent with you, the harder it has been for me to see myself going back. I don’t know what I should do anymore. Staying makes no sense. We barely know each other. It’s foolish to make a decision based on…this.” She waved a hand at the space between the two of them. “But then, when I think of going back to Chicago, and never seeing you again…” She shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense either.” Her jaw tightened, and Adam stood up immediately, walking to her.
She knew it was a bad idea, but she went into his arms anyway. He wrapped them around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest, and she pressed her face against his shirt, breathing in the scent of sweat and hay and the sweet undertone of grain. She felt all of the worry melt away, as she leaned into him, letting herself relax into his embrace. She felt him press his mouth against her hair, his arms squeezing her a little more tightly. How could she possibly just walk away from this? On the other hand, how could she stay? Especially now that, with Callum in the mix, things had become even more convoluted.
“You don’t have to say anything now,” Adam said quietly against her hair. “Come over for dinner tomorrow night. We can sit and talk and you can ask me anything you want.”
She’d planned on saying no if he’d asked anything like that. She’d planned on letting him say his piece and telling him to leave after. But with his arms wrapped around her, the only possible answer was yes.
Chapter 20
She felt more nervous than usual the next evening as she waited for the sound of Adam’s truck. She’d dressed up just a little, wearing one of the nicer sweaters she’d brought—a black cashmere V-neck—instead of the usual button down flannel she’d been sporting for most of the trip. She messed with her hair as she waited, pushing it behind her ears, and then in front of them, and then back again, anything to keep herself occupied. She didn’t know why she was so agitated, but she had a strange feeling that the way the evening went would deeply affect the rest of her life.
She heard the growl of the truck in the driveway and quickly slipped her boots on, and headed out into the frigid air. Adam smiled at her as she hopped into the truck, and she felt her heart flutter. If only he didn’t affect her this way, all of this would be so much simpler.
They were quiet on the drive to his house. What had been said the day before hung between them.
She heard the now-familiar whickering of the horses as they pulled up into the driveway. “Head on into the house if you want,” Adam said. “I need to feed the horses, and then I’ll be in.”
On another day she might have offered to help, but instead she simply nodded and slid out of the truck, walking to the house. There was already something simmering on the stove and no washing up to do. No way to keep herself occupied so she sat down at the kitchen table, and tried not to think what lay in her immediate future.
It was almost a half hour before Adam came in, rubbing hay dust off of his hands, and Amelia turned to smile at him. “Dinner smells great,” she said, her voice tentative. She felt nervous all over again, and she took a deep breath.
“Thanks.” He took off his boots and walked to the stove. “Beef stew. Nothing too fancy, but nice to have when it’s so cold out. I’m going to put some bread in the oven to go with it.”
Amelia went to the cupboard and started pulling out bowls and utensils, and they moved around the kitchen in comfortable silence for several minutes, getting everything that they needed for dinner. Amelia found herself wondering if Adam’s impending move to Edinburgh made a difference. Hadn’t the main sticking point been that she didn’t want to live here, in the middle of nowhere, and on a farm to boot? Edinburgh wouldn’t be so different from what she was used to in Chicago. In fact, it might even be better. There was really nothing there for her back there anyway. Not now.
But now Callum was back in the picture for Adam, and she had no idea how that changed things. Amelia was torn between wanting to talk about it, and feeling glad to put it off for as long as she could. The evening was shaping up to be too pleasant to bring up anything that might derail it.
“How is the research going?” Adam asked. “Are you nearly done?”
“I have a couple of farms left to visit, and then it’s mostly organizing the data before I head back. Not much left to go, really.” Amelia took a bite of her dinner. “This is really great, Adam.”
“Thanks, it's passable even though I say so myself.” He grinned at her.
“Better than passable, I think.” Amelia laughed, “and certainly way more passable than my efforts to date.”
“Well, not everyone can be perfect.” He winked.
It wasn’t until they were settled in with drinks in front of the fire that she finally homed in on the topic she needed to discuss. “Is there a buyer for the farm yet?” she asked, taking a sip of her whisky. “You’ll have to move soon, won’t you?”
“In a month or so.” He frowned. “I think the neighboring farm is interested, they’ve done well this past year and want to expand. They’re interested in purchasing the livestock as well, which will make things much easier.”
“Are you excited?”
He nodded. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember. I stayed here because I felt it was my responsibility, but I’m tired of feeling like an outsider in my own life. I want to be happy.”
“And what about Callum?” Amelia finally asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.
“We haven’t really spoken since the other day. I told you, Amelia, it was very unexpected. There’s no discussion right now of starting our relationship again or even whether or not there will be a repeat of what happened the other day. It was out of the blue and it has nothing to do with what we’ve had together,” he added. “I care a lot about you, Amelia. I know we said no promises, and no expectations, but I’ve enjoyed our time together. If my being prepared to move to the city makes any difference to you, I want to know about it. I want to see if there is any way to figure this out.”
“It…might make a difference,” Amelia said cautiously. “I can’t promise anything, not right this second. But it does change things. It’s still a lot to move to another country for someone, especially when the relationship is so new. But it would be in a city, with work opportunities for me, and it wouldn’t be such a huge change. It would be better than coming out here. Also, I would be able to get my own apartment.”
“Would you want your own place?”
“Definitely. I wouldn’t want to move in with someone so soon. I’d need my own space.”
“That’s perfectly understandable.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m saying yes,” Amelia cautioned. “Just that…I’m more likely to consider it now.”
“That’s all I can ask,” Adam said. “I know it’s a huge decision and not
something to take lightly. Just the fact that you’re willing to consider it means a lot to me.”
There was a knock on the door. Adam frowned. “I wasn’t expecting anyone. Hold on.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She watched him walk out of the room, heard the door open, and the surprise in his voice. “I wasn’t expecting…” the unfinished sentence filtered down the hall, and Amelia turned, wondering who was there. A minute later, Adam walked back into the room, his face tense. A few steps behind him was Callum.
Chapter 21
Amelia looked back and forth between the two of them, waiting for someone to say something. Callum was the first to break the silence. “What are you doing here, Amelia?”
She took a deep breath, but Adam answered before she could. “I invited her over for dinner,” he said calmly, his voice belying the tension in his face.
Callum frowned. “I didn’t realize that your relationship had progressed to the romantic dinner stage.”
“I, um…did some research on the farm here,” Amelia said hesitantly, not sure how to continue. “Adam and I got to know each other a little better.”
“Is that all?” Callum was looking back and forth between the two of them, and Amelia couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. She couldn’t think of what to say.
Finally, Adam spoke up. “Amelia and I have been seeing each other for a while,” he said, looking directly at Callum. “It hasn’t been anything serious or official, but it does have…potential. Besides, I told you in back at the Moose that I was into her.”
“But what about what happened the other day, between us?”
“That was completely out of the blue,” Adam pointed out. “When Amelia and I started seeing each other, you and I were barely speaking.”
Callum switched his glare to Amelia. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I had no idea at the time that the two of you had that kind of relationship,” Amelia said calmly. “This was all just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you.”
“So, he’s the one you were so conflicted about? The reason you kept running off so abruptly?”
“I never said…” Amelia stared at him. “I didn’t say there was anyone.”
“It was pretty obvious.” He shrugged. “Guess it’s not your fault, really, you couldn’t have known.” He looked back and forth between the two of them. “So what is this, exactly?”
Amelia and Adam glanced at each other. “It’s…not really defined,” Amelia said. “I’m not going to be here for very much longer, and we’ve kind of just been taking it one day at a time”
“That sums it up pretty well, I think,” Adam confirmed.
Callum frowned. “Small world, I guess.” his words broke the tension in the room, and Amelia saw Adam crack a small smile. “Why don’t you stay and have a couple of drinks with us? You came all the way out here.”
Adam looked as if he wanted to say something, but Callum, to Amelia’s surprise, nodded. “That would be nice.”
“I’ll go grab another glass,” Adam said, and Amelia couldn’t tell from his tone if he was happy with the situation or not. He clearly didn't intend to elaborate.
Callum looked at Amelia after Adam left the room. “I’m sorry if I came off too abrupt just now,” he said finally. “It was just a shock, that’s all. And strange, too. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation like this one before. I didn’t mean to make you feel that you did something wrong by not telling me, even if you had known. It’s your business, not mine.”
“I appreciate that,” Amelia said. “I honestly didn’t know there was anything going on between the two of you.”
“I know,” Callum said. “I overreacted.”
They were sitting on the couch chatting amiably when Adam walked back in holding Callum’s drink. He glanced at the two of them. “Well, you seem to be getting along OK now,” he said. Callum got up and moved to the armchair, and Adam settled back onto the couch next to Amelia.
For a moment, it was awkward, the three of them unsure what to say to each other. “How long will it be before you’re in Edinburgh?” Callum finally asked Adam.
“Probably a month or so. I need to finalize the buyer for the farm and livestock, and find a place.”
“You know you’re welcome to stay at mine until you find a place, of course,” Callum said.
Adam took a quick sideways glance at Amelia, and she shrugged. “It might make looking for an apartment easier,” she said. She felt a small twinge of jealousy at the thought, especially now that she knew what Adam and Callum would likely get up to if they lived together. But she pushed it down, knowing it was unreasonable.
“It does make sense,” Adam said, and he and Callum exchanged a quick glance.
“I’m going to make another drink,” Amelia said. “Adam, do you want one?”
“Sure.” He handed her his glass.
She could hear them talking in low tones as she walked down the hall, and she wondered what they might be saying. She felt something tight and anxious at the pit of her stomach at the idea of losing Adam, and for the first time, she began to seriously consider staying. Was there really any reason not to try? Wouldn’t she always wonder if she didn’t?
A few drinks eased any remaining tension. “I’m really sorry you had to walk in on that the other day, Amelia,” Callum said, laughing. “That must have felt awkward.”
“It definitely was um interesting,” Amelia said, raising an eyebrow. “It was…surprising.”
“Surprising could be good or bad,” Callum said. “Which one was it?”
“I mean…I wasn’t really happy about it,” Amelia admitted, “but I was a little…intrigued.” She was shocked to hear herself say it, and she knew she’d never have admitted it if she wasn’t a little tipsy, but it was true. The part of her that hadn’t been hurt to see Adam with someone else had been curious, and more than a little turned on.
“Oh?” Callum laughed. “I take it you’ve never seen that before?”
Amelia shook her head.
“Not even in porn?”
“Never,” Amelia said.
Adam cleared his throat and glanced at Callum, obviously unsure if this was a good direction for the conversation to go in. Callum ignored the look.
“Have you ever been with two guys?”
Amelia’s eyes widened. “I have not,” she said, laughing a little.
“Ever wanted to?”
Adam made a noise that was somewhere between disapproval and surprise, but Callum was looking directly at Amelia, waiting for her answer.
“I’ve never had the opportunity,” she said, laughing. “I’m up for trying almost anything once, but that’s never come up.”
Callum stared at her for a second, and then stood up from the armchair. Amelia had a second to wonder what he was doing before he reached for her chin, his fingers running along the edge of her jaw. Her breath caught, and then he bent down, kissing her gently. It was a chaste kiss, but she felt her heart jump anyway, and she unconsciously leaned up, moving in.
“Oh,” Callum said, a small smile on his face. “This is just too good of an opportunity to waste.” Amelia saw Adam watching them out of the corner of her eye, and she wasn’t at all sure what he was thinking.
“Callum,” Amelia started to say, and then he kissed her again, his fingers sliding up her jaw and into her hair. This was, without a doubt, the strangest thing she’d ever done—sitting here and kissing one man while another one watched. She forgot everything for a second except for how warm his lips were, and the taste of whisky that still clung to them, and how his long fingers felt sliding through her hair. She felt the press of his fingertips against the back of her head, pulling her mouth to his, and she made a small noise, leaning into the kiss.
Callum pulled back after a moment, glancing towards Adam. There was a moment’s hesitation, and then Amelia felt him move closer, and then his hand was touching her face, turning it towards him. She had a m
oment to be surprised, and then he was kissing her, gently at first, his lips brushing over hers, and then more forcefully. His hand replaced Callum’s, pulling her towards him, and she leaned forward, nearly sliding into his lap. She gasped as Adam wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. She felt Callum’s hand on her arm and his lips brushing against the nape of her neck. It was like nothing she’d ever felt before. She arched her back, and she felt Callum’s hand on her hip, sliding down her thigh and then back up again, and she shivered.
“Do you like this?” Adam asked, his mouth barely leaving hers, his voice deep and husky. She’d never heard him sound quite that way before, as if he were daring her to say yes, to tell him—them—to keep going. Callum’s hand brushed against the nape of her neck, his fingers slowly tracing down the ridge of her spine, and she shuddered under his touch, her head tilting back. Adam touched her jaw, turning her face so that she was looking directly at him. Callum’s lips drifted over the space of her shoulder that was bare, and she made a small noise in the back of her throat.
“I think you’re distracting her,” Adam said, and his voice was still the same, deep and sensuous, the sound of his thickening accent making her skin tingle. “I hope so,” Callum murmured, his breath warm against her skin, and Amelia closed her eyes, her hand reaching out to grip Adam’s jean-clad thigh.
“Do you like this?” Adam asked again, his fingers still touching her chin, keeping her from drifting off altogether into a cloud of lust. Amelia nodded, trying to catch her breath. “Yes,” she whispered, a small whimper escaping at the end of the word as Callum ran his fingers into her hair, sweeping it aside so that he could kiss her just below her ear. “Yes,” she whispered again, her fingers tightening on Adam’s thigh. “I do like it.”
“Good,” Adam said, his voice nearly a growl, and his hands tightened on her waist, pulling her up to her knees. “Follow me,” he said, standing and bending to kiss her again. He didn’t let go of her hand as he turned, and Amelia realized he was headed towards the bedroom. Callum winked at her as she caught his eye, and she felt her face flush. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
Three if by Sea: MMF Bisexual Romance Page 12