Diana looked from Brett to Robert. All through the journey, she had dreaded something like this. What could she say to him? She knew that it was a pie-crust promise. Brett would develop a new enthusiasm and Robert would face yet another disappointment. She kept her chin raised. There would be time enough to explain to Robert later.
‘I do mean it, Diana,’ Brett said softly. ‘How else can I prove to you that I keep my word?’
The timely appearance of Dr Allen and the school’s matron pre vented Diana from answering.
‘Will your horses be all right for the journey back?’ Diana asked Brett after Robert had been settled back in school. ‘How long do they need to rest?’
‘They should be fine. I did not push them too hard to get here. Your nephew was enjoying the feeling of being a whip. You should have seen him holding the ribbons. The boy is a natural. He asked ever so many good questions. He made me think.’
‘I saw his face. You have another worshipper, Brett.’ Diana pressed her hands together. Simon might not be pleased when he discovered it, but it had certainly made the journey much less fraught. ‘I wanted to thank you for what you did. You did not have to.’
‘You mean arriving here with a great flourish and the horses going at full gallop?’ Brett laughed. ‘I can still remember what school boys love. I only wish I had thought to bring a mail coach’s trumpet.’
‘Why did you do it?’
‘Because everyone needs someone to make a fuss of them.’
‘He has me.’
His gaze travelled slowly down her form. ‘You are not a man.’
Diana was grateful for her bonnet. ‘I would have had a bad time of it without you and your antics. I thank you for that.’
‘I am pleased you see some small use for me.’
‘Yes, a small use,’ she agreed with a laugh. ‘I suppose we ought to go. It wouldn’t do for Robert to think we were spying on him.’ She covered her hand with her mouth. ‘I wanted to apologise for what I said the other day. I had no right to question you like that.’
‘Did I say anything?’
‘You must understand—I refuse to be used in that fashion.’ Her stomach trembled but she had said it.
‘Intentions are different from actions, Diana. And my intentions changed, once I began to know you. You must believe that I have every intention of protecting you and your reputation.’
‘I will believe that when it happens.’
‘Allow me to prove it to you. Will you then admit it? Or are you too proud?’
‘Why must we always argue?’ Diana whispered. ‘I much prefer it when we get along.’
Brett didn’t answer. He simply stared down at her with his steady grey eyes, eyes that had nearly turned to silver.
‘You are the most provoking of men.’
‘I think I enjoy being provoking.’
‘Well, I am not entirely sure that I enjoy it.’ Diana opened the carriage door. She would end this conversation now, before that little piece of her insisted on continuing their relationship, before she begged for his kiss, before she began believing his promises.
‘Which way shall we go back?’ Brett asked.
Her hand trembled on the door frame. ‘Do I have a choice?’
‘We can go back a longer, more scenic route if you wish.’ Brett’s hand closed over hers. ‘I promise to refrain from provoking you, well…not unless you want to be provoked.’
A tingle washed up her arm. The scenic route. A room in an anonymous inn. Brett and her. Together. It would be so easy. For a long time, she found it difficult to breathe. ‘You promised to return to Ladywell by night fall.’
‘It could still happen.’
Diana gently withdrew her hand, and put the temptation far from her. She refused to do that. She had not sunk so far down into wanton wick ed ness that she used the return of her nephew to school as an excuse for a liaison with her lover.
The whole idea when she considered it held an unsavoury ring.
She had not sunk that low. She retained her principles. The madness that had enveloped her over the past few days would end. She held on to the thought and let it crowd out all her desires.
‘I would like to return home as quickly as possible.’ Her words tripped over each other in her rush to get them out. ‘You may spare the horses, but Simon will want to hear about how Robert got on at school. He does care about his son.’
Aware that she was beginning to babble, Diana clamped her lips shut. She willed him to say something. To show that he under stood. These feelings inside her were at war with each other. She desired him, but she needed more than desire. She needed more than a half-hearted proposal. She had seen the relief on his face when she had refused him.
Brett regarded her with clear grey gaze. He continued to stand close, too close. She watched the way the sunlight caught his buttons and turned them darker. ‘A closed stuffy carriage or up beside the driver in the fresh air—where do you want to ride?’
Diana swallowed hard, turned her attention from the way his buttons looked against the crisp linen of his shirt. She knew if she rode within the carriage, she would not have a chance to speak with Brett. And she had missed him and his teasing tones more than she had thought possible. It would be the end of every thing. Irrevocably.
She would end it after today. He would depart for somewhere unknown and, if they ever met again, they would be able to make polite meaning less conversation.
But would it do any lasting harm if she allowed herself to dream for one more afternoon? Within a few hours, they would be back in Ladywell and her life would continue on its preordained path.
‘Up in the open air,’ she whispered, her voice barely audible to her ears. She blinked, scarcely able to believe she had said the words aloud.
‘Diana?’ He leant forward and his breath kissed her lips. ‘You were impossible to hear.’
‘I will ride up beside you,’ she said quickly before she changed her mind. A queer fizzing excitement went through her veins. ‘I want to see how you handle the ribbons of a Four in Hand. I may be able to learn something in case I should ever encounter an obstacle course again.’
He gave a half-smile. ‘Ever the sensible Miss Clare.’
‘Is it sensible to ride up next to the driver?’ She peeked up from under her eye lashes. ‘It is the first time I have heard that.’
‘Oh, very sensible. Quite the best option. You get a whole new view of life when you sit beside the driver.’
‘I thought you promised not to provoke me.’
‘I said that I would do my best. That is a different promise entirely.’
‘Is it? Are you going to twist your words?’
‘Can I help it if a certain woman persists in for get ting the exact nature of the words?’ His face became a picture of injured innocence.
‘And if that woman considered him to be a supreme twister of words?’
‘Then she’d be wrong…as she has been wrong about so many things.’
‘About so many things?’ she whispered and tried to ignore the racing of her heart.
‘We need to go if you wish to return to Ladywell before night fall.’
He helped her up to the perch and then clambered up beside her. Diana had to squeeze over to one side. Brett’s leg pressed against hers and all her resolutions appeared to fade away like the mist in front of the sun. He leant forward and his knuckles grazed her breast as he reached for the reins. She drew in her breath sharply.
He said nothing, but gave her an eloquent look before concentrating on arranging the ribbons. Diana bit her lip and decided a dignified silence was her best option.
The coach began to roll away from the school and back into the Newcastle traffic.
The view from up top was entirely different from the view through the carriage window. Tops of carriages, second-floor windows where clerks worked busily at their desks, bonnets covered in flowers and silk intermingled with top hats and flat caps.
She half-t
urned in her perch. Robert’s school was rapidly swallowed up in the traffic of the city. Carts and carriages crowded the streets, suddenly moving forwards and closing spaces where a breath before the road had been clear. Twice Diana was certain they would hit a delivery van or a cart. She sucked in her breath and shrank as the carriage passed through an impossibly narrow gap. Brett put an arm about her shoulders, but she rapidly sat up straight and folded her hands in her lap.
‘Impressive driving.’ She tried for a calm and measured tone, ignoring his slightly triumphant look. ‘There are very few who could make it through that.’
‘It is easy once you know the trick. As I explained to Robert, carriage driving is like life. You need to keep your attention focused. And your concentration far enough ahead. It is all about anticipating obstacles. And there are always pot-holes to trip up the unwary or in attentive.’
‘I worry that I might get in your way. Perhaps you ought to stop and I will go below.’
‘As long as you don’t make a sudden lunge for the ribbons, we will be fine.’
He gave a little flick and the horses in creased their speed as they left the smoke-shrouded city behind. It seemed as if they were in their own world, up here on the coachman’s perch. Diana shivered slightly as the chill of the wind hit her, and wished she had thought to bring her thick shawl as well as her crimson pelisse. That had to be the cause. It was never a shiver of anticipation, a reaction to her leg nestled against his, her shoulder touching his.
‘Are you cold?’
‘I will be fine. I thought I would be riding in the carriage and did not bring a shawl.’
‘You can go down there, if you want. I will stop the horses.’
‘No, I like the view from up here.’
He put his arm around her and drew her into the circle of his arms. ‘Is this better?’
She relaxed against his body and rested her cheek on his chest, listening to his heart thump. Warm, comforting and altogether far too enticing. She closed her eyes and sought to hang on to every detail. When this was all over, she would keep the image fresh.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked when she opened her eyes. ‘You have the most intent expression on your face.’
‘Making a memory.’ She struggled to sit upright. ‘I will be fine now. The air is quite pleasant in the sunshine.’
‘I am honoured that you want to remember this moment.’
Their gaze caught and held for a long moment. Diana felt the in exorable pull towards him, towards the slippery slope called—falling in love. She also knew the ending and the heart ache that came with it. She started to say something, but finally opted for a light tone. ‘How many times do I get to see an expert in action?’
‘How many times indeed?’ He flicked the reins and the horses started moving faster, their hooves beating against the stones.
Diana watched as his hands expertly con trolled everything. She knew in the hands of a less-experienced driver, the horses would be running away, out of control, but with Brett, they obeyed the least flicker of the ribbons.
As they approached a village, he pulled the thundering horses back. Immediately they slowed.
A cart loomed ahead, blocking half of the road. A labourer was busy loading barrels. Nothing unto wards. Diana sucked in her breath as she saw a bright blue pinafore dart out into the road.
‘Brett!’ Her hand reached out instinctively to steady herself, but tangled with the ribbons.
Brett cursed long and loud. He pulled back hard. Diana felt her body slam into the railing as the carriage turned sharply, colliding with the cart. Everything slowed down and seemed to take an age.
Images flashed—the little girl in blue, the ball, the lead horse rearing, Brett’s arms straining against the ribbons as he struggled to avoid the girl. A piercing scream re sounded in the air, followed by the slow crunch of wood. With the noise, the speed started to move double quick and Diana felt the carriage lurch to one side and then the other. Everything hurtled forwards and then stopped. The world became dark.
Diana risked a breath and found her lungs could fill without an ache. She raised a shaking hand and pushed her bonnet back from her forehead.
‘Are you injured?’ Brett asked, his dark grey eyes peering into hers.
‘I am fine, a little shaken.’ Diana put her hand to her face. ‘I never meant to…’
‘It was an accident. You must not think about it.’
‘How is the little girl? And the horses?’
‘I will see to the horses now, but the child appears unharmed. Her mother pulled her to safety.’ Brett lightly jumped down from his perch.
‘I still don’t know how you missed her.’
‘I drive to the inch. There is a practical reason for it.’
A farmer hung on to the bridle of the lead horse. Diana could see a pregnant woman had scooped the child up and was cradling her in her arms. Everything would be fine. It was only objects that were damaged. Not people. The accident could have been much worse.
Diana sank back against the seat, trembling. She heard the farmer’s raised voice, the wail of the child and Brett’s measured tones. Everything flowed over her as a late butter fly fluttered a few inches from her nose. Silently, she pleaded that every thing would be fine and they would quickly continue on their way.
‘Everything is solved, Diana, but you need to get down.’ Brett reached up a hand to help her down. He wanted to gather her into his arms. The accident could have been so much worse. All he could see was how she had very nearly fallen, but had clung on. The images played over and over in his mind and he knew that he faced many nights waking up in a cold sweat, haunted by what might have happened. Today was not supposed to have been about losing her, but regaining her trust, demonstrating in the only way he knew how that he cared and wanted to start again. He wished to think that friend ship was enough.
‘Yes, I think I will ride inside the carriage.’
‘It won’t be possible. Not yet,’ Brett said gravely. He gave a wave to the farm labourer. The farmer’s cart bore some signs of damage, but it was the wheels of the carriage that needed to be repaired.
‘Is the carriage all right? You managed to stop before any lasting damage was done.’ Diana’s smile faded. ‘Will we be able to continue on our journey? We will return to Ladywell today.’
‘There will be a delay. The wheels need to be seen to. I will not drive an unsafe carriage, Diana, not even for you.’
‘How long of a delay?’ Her eyes showed alarm. ‘I wanted to get back to Ladywell tonight.’
‘There is an inn down the road—the Angel. Respectable, but not fashionable. I will get you a private room.’ Brett willed her to understand. He had no desire to compromise her. He wished now that he had thought to bring her maid, someone to make the stay respectable. But he had been certain that time alone would be the correct way to woo her.
‘Your version of respectable may differ from mine.’
‘Or the farmer’s.’ Brett reached over and readjusted her bonnet so it was sitting more firmly on her head. ‘The mail coach stops there. It is the best the village has to offer. The only place. You will have to brave it, as will I. The village is quiet and so we should be able to get rooms.’
‘Can I take the mail coach?’ The words tumbled out, tripping over each other in her rush to get them out. ‘Rose and Simon will be expecting me home today. They will wonder what has happened.’
‘It has departed.’
‘Departed?’ Her hands went to her bonnet, straightening it and re-straightening it. ‘How could it have already departed? It was my best hope of returning to Ladywell. You promised.’
‘Are you saying that I somehow planned the accident?’
‘No, no. There was nothing you could have done about it.’
He pressed his lips together, feeling a great pit open in his stomach. He wanted her, but he needed her to want him in her life as well as in her bed. This time when he proposed, she would be left in no dou
bt that his proposal went beyond lip service to duty.
‘Your plans will be delayed.’ He held up his hands, cutting off her protest. ‘Your brother is aware how long it takes to get back from Newcastle and the hazards on the road. How many times has your brother arrived home later than first anticipated?’
‘I suppose you are correct.’ Diana swallowed hard. The image of Brett and her together, limbs inter twined danced in front of her eyes. She screwed them up and banished it. He had said rooms—plural. She had to concentrate on being sensible. What had been between them had flared briefly and then vanished. All that remained were the embers of a friend ship.
‘I know I am correct. It is beyond my control.’
‘It seems so pat—the rake and the broken carriage. My brother may fear for my reputation.’
‘You were the one who grabbed my arm. Perhaps I should fear for mine.’ He gave a half-smile. ‘I made a promise to your brother. I will protect you.’
‘What exactly has happened to the carriage?’ Diana wrapped her arms about her waist. ‘Will it take long to fix? A delay of an hour or two will not make too much of a difference. We can still arrive back when it is not too late.’
‘One of the wheels has come loose and the horses have suffered a bad fright. It would be folly to continue on today.’
But was it folly to remain here? Somehow their fate had been decided against her plea. She seemed to be drawn inexorably into his arms. And she knew that this time, her heart would go with her.
‘I see.’ Diana tightened her hold on her reticule. ‘It is important to make sure the carriage is adequately fixed. I would hate to be delayed longer.’
‘It would be far worse if we set out with it in ill repair.’ Brett’s fingers tightened on her elbow, leading her away from the carriage and towards the Angel and its creaking sign. ‘There are some risks I refuse to take.’
Chapter Sixteen
‘There you go, hinny, a nice cup of tea to restore you.’
Diana gave the landlady a trembling smile. She cautiously took a sip and allowed the hot strong sugary brew to wash through her system. Although the tea was far sweeter than she would normally take it, it had a restorative effect. ‘It is very fine.’
A Question of Impropriety Page 22