He’d been honest with her, at least. He’d done what had to be done, no question about it. But he still felt like a complete heel. He hoped her anger would help her forget him.
He knew it would be impossible to ever forget her.
Chapter 8
The next morning, Kyle didn’t have time for shame. He threw it in the back of his mind like he used to throw his wetsuit and surfboard in the back of the battered old truck with the rusty headlights. His old but reliable vehicle had been crumbling, with parts sloughing off it for years. This flawed hunk of metal had served him well while he became a man. She was always by his side, proving to be much more reliable than any of the girls he’d dated.
His heart hadn’t gotten seriously snagged on any of the lovelies from his past. But the truck was different. He nearly cried the day he’d sold her to a friend, the sale signaling the end of his carefree but tumultuous life—the same day he’d reported to the Indoc center. Not once did he ever wash her. She was perfect the way she was.
He took a shower, then checked Armando’s refrigerator for something unhealthy. No luck. A little nonfat yogurt and greens. No milk for cereal, if he even had cereal. No bread for toast. He found some cheese and cut a slice. It tasted terrible, like rubber tires. He read the label.
99% nonfat? What the hell is up with that?
Armando was a food Nazi, all right. Kyle grabbed a bruised apple from a bowl on the kitchen counter and walked around, surveying the house, sure he missed something. Armando had nothing frilly to indicate a woman’s presence. All hard steel stuff. No pictures of frogmen jumping out of airplanes or US flags either.
When I was a child I thought like a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things. It was one of the quotes he and Armando loved, and had sustained them all during his training and during some of the darkest days overseas in the Middle East. On those days he’d look out over the sand and hear the kids playing, the goats bleating, and wonder if this dusty hellhole was going to be his killing field, where he would end his days on earth.
He and Armando had the shared experience of getting up close and personal with Death. And just like at BUD/S, neither of them would quit.
Wherever you are, Armani, I’m coming. I’m bringing you home. Armando had to know Kyle would do this, or die trying.
He thought about the lovely woman he’d shared his passion with last night. How her face was filled with tears from the intensity of their lovemaking. He caught a very brief glimpse of what life would be like with a woman like her. But all too quickly the picture turned, and once more he’d humiliated Christy, exposed her to the dark side of his chosen life. All she’d done was peek her head around the doorway of his vacancy—try to smooth him a bit with that soft skin and those little squeals she made when she came.
He hoped she had a mess of friends to take care of any wounds he couldn’t help but create. He didn’t want her brooding over something she couldn’t control. Hell, he couldn’t control it either, and it was damned unhealthy. He hoped she was the kind of woman who could take it like a man. Take the hard truth. He’d let his guard down this time. He’d had no business getting her involved, even if it was only one incredible night of sex. And he’d almost spent the night, even promised her he’d pump her all night long. Not like he didn’t want to. He needed the sex. But he didn’t need the entanglement.
He checked his cell again. Still no word from Timmons. He’d have to go see his chief this morning.
Damn. Armani, where are you? The silence didn’t reveal an answer. He was alone again, with the visions of a magical few hours of lovemaking, and something that couldn’t be.
The afternoon and evening with Christy had tipped the earth on its axis for him. Damn, it was a close one. If ever there was a woman for him, she’d look and act and smell and sigh and need just like Christy did. He wished he’d met her about six years ago, before he’d become a polar bear. Before the dinosaur skin. Before he became a trained killer. Before Armando had disappeared. She’d have been a welcome distraction in those days.
She can do way better. She deserves it. Some day. Some day the timing would be right for that kind of a woman. In the meantime, it would be best if he left her completely alone. He swallowed, his throat parched. He knew he would never call her back. He knew, too, being without her would get easier every day and week that passed, until he would only have that warm glow and smile at the memory of a really nice time with her. When he couldn’t remember what she looked like and how she tasted. When the pain got buried.
He pulled himself back to the task at hand: finding Armando. He flipped open his cell.
Gunny answered after a coughing spell.
“Shit, Gunny. You gonna croak on me today?”
“Not on your fuckin’ life. You’ll go before me.”
“Now, how’s that?”
“I should ask you, Kyle. What the hell are you doin’? I got reports from no less than three groups of your webfoot buddies that you found yourself a honey pot and went MIA yesterday. You’re not going to find Armando between her legs. Nothing there but pain an’ misery,” Gunny spewed out.
Well said.
“I had apologies to make. I shook her up a little when she came into Armando’s house by accident and found me.”
“Accident, my ass. You know better than to hook up with a sexy cat burglar.”
Kyle laughed, enjoying the banter they shared. No one else except Armando could talk this kind of disrespect and trash to him.
“Well, I was asleep on the bed. Naked.”
A series of croaks and wheezes sounded between some Navy swear words, assaulting his ears, words Kyle hadn’t heard since one of the early team reunions. What came next on the other end of the line was not intelligible, followed by deep hacking and a release of some phlegm-wad probably large enough to knock a man down. Gunny’s condition was worsening by the minute, and it worried him.
“Heard from Timmons yet?” Gunny rasped.
“Nope.”
Gunny let out a series of thick, rheumy coughs that sounded like his lungs had turned inside out.
“You need to smoke more, Gunny. The burning-it-out-of-you isn’t working.”
“Tell me about it.” Gunny wheezed and then continued. “I got Cooper and Fredo waiting until we could find you. Coop’s guy got us some intel. We could meet up. That is, unless little miss fancy pants is in heat.”
Perceptive. Almost like that. Kyle could see Christy’s face as he filled her to the hilt, as he held her jaw and lips with one hand, as he squeezed them into soft pillows he could suck down. He could see her fingernails dragged against his butt cheeks, pulling him into her while he tasted the salty sweat between her perfect breasts. He felt like turning his Hummer around and driving to her house, then taking her again, but that was ridiculous. If he was another man, they’d just ride off together and get lost.
But he wasn’t that kind of man.
“No comment. But Gunny, it’s all about Armando now.”
They arranged a meeting at a local beer pub for later that evening.
Kyle checked Armando’s stash of guns in the concealed weapons box he’d built under the floorboards of his bedroom, hidden by the carpeting. Everything looked untouched, as Armando would have left it. The guns were oiled, with hardly a speck of dust anywhere. Clips and rounds were separated from the weapons. Kyle would have to deal with them if Armando didn’t turn up soon. Besides, unless entirely necessary, it would be best not to enrage the locals by carrying weapons in his vehicle, other than his own. It wasn’t protocol to carry a big stash unless a team guy was on his way to ship out, but everyone did it anyway.
He found Christy’s nametag still on the dining table where he’d tossed it three long days ago. Kyle picked it up again and traced over the indented letters that represented the woman he couldn’t get out of his mind.
He released a sigh and put the plastic tag back. He surveyed the dirty kitchen sink and ruled it unacceptable. Adding hot water and soap, he
rinsed off the crusty dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher, then turned it on.
Cleaning always helped him center his thoughts. Armando had a vacuum in the storage closet, and Kyle lost himself in the dull buzz of the machine while he removed a week’s worth of dust and dirt. He wiped down the countertops, then looked at the damp rag and wet Formica surface, wondering if he’d just removed evidence.
Not likely.
If Armando had been taken against his will, there’d be holes in the wall, missing windows, and a few large carving knives stuck into cabinet doors. And there’d be blood. Lots of it. No question.
No, Armando had left in a hurry, but he’d left on his own.
Kyle went back to the table and looked at the yellow tablet he remembered seeing the day he’d been waiting at Armando’s. There were scribbles on the top and a folded street map tucked under several sheets. He hadn’t noticed the deep grooves where something important had been pressed into a sheet that was gone. He recognized it as Armando’s writing. He became annoyed he’d missed this obvious clue two days ago when he first came to the house.
Rubbing the No. 2 pencil over the surface, he found a phone number with the area code of an adjacent county. He picked up Armando’s landline, holding it with a towel, and hit redial. The same number came up.
“Hola? Armando?” said a panicked voice on the other line.
“No,” Kyle said.
“¿Está Armando allí?”
“No, Armando is not here.” He did not recognize the voice.
“Kyle? Kyle is that you? Armando is not with you?”
“Ah, Mama Guzman. Didn’t recognize the number.”
“Si. I’m at my daughter’s. Where is Armando? Please, you will tell me now he is with you and he scares his mama for no good reason?”
“No. Sorry. I’m looking for him, too. I’m sure he’ll turn up.” Kyle wondered if she believed the lie.
Probably not.
“Kyle. I am worried. He is coming to my house, but he never come. I am sick with worry.”
“When was this?”
“Five, six days ago. Mia, you know Mia, Kyle’s sister?”
“Yes.” Kyle assumed the stories of Mia’s poor choice in men and lifestyles were true.
“Mia is in some trouble again.” Her voice started out calm, her strength collapsed at the end, like a row of dominoes. Through ragged catches of breath, the creaking sound of the phone in Kyle’s ear told him she was pacing anxiously, beside herself.
“So what happened? Did you call him?”
“Yes. I told him Mia is gone. And now Armando. I am here at Mia’s apartment. I have no choice but to go to the police next. But they will laugh at me. And I don’t want to tell them about Armando and the Navy.”
“No. You did the right thing. We can handle this.”
“You think so? He was mad, very, very mad when I told him.”
“Mama, what? What did you tell him?”
“Mia is pregnant. She got pregnant with that bastard Caesar. She went off to tell him the good news.” She mumbled something in Spanish Kyle didn’t understand. “And I think Armando is thinking Caesar didn’t take it very well. He has girls all over, but no, Mia loved him, she says. She says he will be different with her, with the baby when it comes.”
Not fucking likely.
Kyle knew exactly what Armando had done. Gone dark. But why hadn’t he told his mother? This question niggled and worried him. So that was what all the texting was about. Kyle didn’t like it either.
“Mama, you need to get back to your own house. What if he’s tried to call you there?”
“Yes. Yes, I will do that now. Nothing here for me. I just came to see if they were…here.” Her voice trailed off again. Kyle knew Mama Guzman had thought she’d find them in a bloody pile.
“Anything look out of order?” He had to ask it, the picture in his head was too strong.
“No. Looks just like she went to work.”
“Best get out of there. I’m not sure it’s safe. You need to get home.”
“Yes. Yes I will.”
“Bring her key, okay? I might need it.”
“Si.”
“You have a cell phone?”
Kyle heard a streak of swear words he thankfully couldn’t understand.
“I’ll give you my home number. I don’t want to get the ear cancer.”
“Mia have one?”
“Yes, of course.”
Kyle wrote both numbers down. “I’m going to get some friends, and we’re going to go find them. You stay by the phone, okay, Mama?” He gave her his personal cell number, not his overseas phone. “You won’t get me, but leave a message there.”
He could hear her chicken scratches, mumbling the numbers in translation to herself.
“When I call you, it won’t look like a regular number. So, pick up anything that looks strange. Don’t want you screening out my call. Leave me a message. I’ll get back to you when I can.”
“Yes. No caller ID, like Armando.”
“Right.”
He hung up, then programmed her home number and Mia’s with a quiet code ring and ran to Armando’s bedroom to change into some gear and dark clothes. On his way out the door, he checked the phone calls and messages, leaving them just in case the police got dragged in. He noticed the last call out was five days ago, Mia’s number. He wrote down the two previous numbers as well and the date and times they were made. He saw the calls from Mrs. Guzman and two blocked calls incoming earlier in the day.
He thought about Armando’s stash of guns under the corner in the bedroom and decided against taking them in case his buddy made it back and needed the firepower. He grabbed his black duffel bag that contained everything he’d brought and slung it over his shoulder, then headed to the door.
Kyle looked around to say goodbye to Armando’s home.
He might not ever return here. That same thought was always on his mind each time he deployed.
He flipped the lock and almost shut the door, but then remembered Christy’s nametag. In three long strides, he reached the table. He grabbed the little badge and placed it in his left breast pocket and closed the Velcro flap.
After leaving the house, he hung out under the darkened overhang to see if anyone watched the house. The quiet street held only a couple of parked cars that dotted the curb, but none of them were close. He made it across the street to his beast and drove away. He had to check in with Timmons back on base.
Kyle swore under his breath when he saw Petty Officer 3rd Carlisle Channing, decked out with his usual asshole attitude, manned the front gate like he guarded the Alamo.
“Well, here he is, the second coming. How many times you jerk off in the bathroom today, sailor? Or do you just whip it out and show all the girls—”
“Shut the fuck up, Car-LILE.”
“Need to see your ID, you prick.”
Kyle and dug out his military issue card. Before Channing could put his well-manicured paws on it, Kyle let it slip through his fingers to the ground.
“Oops. I’m sorry about that,” Kyle said sarcastically as he opened the door of his Hummer, catching Petty Officer 3rd Channing in the groin.
That made the guard hop around. “I’m going to write you up for that,” he said as he held himself with both hands.
Kyle knew the Naval police would add the infraction to the other forty they had. Really important ones, like not showing respect to the regular Navy guys. Kyle couldn’t hold anything against someone who tried one day of BUD/S. Took balls to even consider going through the hell of becoming a SEAL. So, the ones who thought they’d drawn some kind of cushy police job, trying to hold the real warriors back like they were a danger to the general public, well, he carried no respect for those assholes.
He’d gotten a dozen slips for riding a bicycle without a helmet after he’d taken his Hummer into the shop for an alteration and it was getting fixed. One slip for scuffed shoes. One for stopping just over the line at
the gate. These guys just itched to bust him. Carlisle had a whole six-pack of associate flunkies he terrorized on a regular basis. Like monkeys at the zoo. Kyle felt sorry for the whole lot of them.
“Make sure you write that I hit you in the crotch. My reputation is at stake.”
“One of these days, sailor, you’re gonna need a friend and I’ll be sitting back, watching you squirm, on my way over to screw your woman,” Carlisle said as he handed Kyle back his ID.
“Geez, Carlisle, I’d have to wear Kevlar if I had a friend like you.” Kyle slipped his card inside the pocket that held Christy’s nametag. “And as for the girls, well, I thought you knew I like guys. But in your case, I’d share. All you had to do was ask.”
He puckered his lips and blew a kiss at Carlyle, revved the motor, and tore off through the parking lot before he got a dent in his door.
I’ll have to tone it down a bit soon. This one is a war without winners. Kyle knew well enough what a man would do if pushed too far, and Carlisle looked just like one of those guys with no control. But he was a comrade, a member of the same Navy Kyle served. And that was worth something, after all.
Another set of amends I need to make. But not today. Today was still all about Armando and getting his ass safely back on base. Kyle marched down the buffed vinyl floor tiles leading to Timmon’s office.
Timmons frowned down at a half-inch report, his thick glasses perched atop his shiny forehead, which told Kyle he wasn’t reading a thing. Timmons mumbled and tapped his pencil.
“Sir?” Kyle said as he rapped on the open door.
“Lansdowne. You got anything good for me today?”
“Sir? I was hoping you had the last cell coordinates.”
“We got some of the best equipment known to man, and we still have to wait on the fuckin’ phone company.”
“Coop’s friend said the signal’s dead.”
“Dammit, Kyle. I told you not to involve the locals or the Feds.”
“It was off the record.”
“Sure it was. Nothing is off the record, son. So what good news do you have?”
“Wish I did, Mister. I got another number for you to check, though. This one belongs to Mia, Armando’s sister. No news at all. Just a big fucking mystery, getting worse.”
Accidental SEAL (SEAL Brotherhood #1) Page 7