by Kat Mizera
Drake was a wreck, pacing the room in frustration. Karl had left and come back with clean clothes for himself, Kate and Drake, but Drake hadn’t even touched the bag at his feet.
“Drink this.” Karl put a cup of black coffee in his friend’s hand. “She needs you to be strong.”
“I know.” Drake spoke the words but he couldn’t breathe. Watching Erin’s blood pouring onto the floor of the reception hall had been the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen. She and their son were his life, and the idea of losing her was incomprehensible. If Marco wasn’t already dead, he would have killed him himself.
“She’s strong,” Kate whispered, moving up against his side and wrapping her arms around him. “She’ll get through this.”
“She’s already been through so much,” Drake said with a ragged breath. “How much can one person take? The IED that practically blew her up? All the surgeries for her burns? The ectopic pregnancy? All of that in four years! What if she can’t fight anymore?”
“She’s a Marine!” Kate said firmly. “She can and she will. I’ve known her all my adult life and no one is stronger than Erin—not even you and Karl!” A tear slipped down her cheek and she buried it in his chest.
“Come on, guys.” Karl didn’t know how to handle this. His best friend was usually a rock; six feet five inches of solid muscle, a force to be reckoned with both on and off the ice. Seeing him like this was unimaginable, and watching Kate comfort him was awkward. He wasn’t jealous; he just didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He didn’t come from an emotional family and it wasn’t in his nature to be so touchy-feely. Kate brought it out in him where she was concerned, and he’d always been affectionate with his mother, but not really with anyone else.
“It’s going to be okay.” Molly spoke quietly.
“The cops are coming,” Dom said, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Mister Finch has the team lawyer available for everyone, in general, but since Erin killed Marco, should we get someone who specializes in felonies?” He referred to the owner of the Sidewinders.
“She’s in there dying and you think she needs a lawyer?!” Drake’s eyes snapped to Dom’s.
“Do we want to give them a chance to turn this around? We don’t know what the surviving gunmen will say.”
Drake inhaled sharply. “Yeah, okay. Whom should I call?”
“Let me handle it.” Dom met his gaze squarely. “You’ve got enough to worry about.”
“Yes. Thank you.” Drake turned back to Kate, who was still holding him. “Fuck, I didn’t even think about what this is going to do to her emotionally—she killed someone.”
“It’s not the first time,” Kate said softly. “She’s been to Afghanistan twice. This was almost like being at war—he wasn’t after her, but he was after that whole room of people. She is the bravest woman I know, and she’s going to be fine.” Her red-rimmed eyes belied her confidence in that statement, but she lifted her chin a notch all the same.
“Toli’s out!” someone said.
Chapter 3
Tessa hurried out of the room towards where they told her Toli was as several of the players sank into chairs. Though she knew now that his wound was fairly superficial, she was still terrified that he wouldn’t be the same. She didn’t care if he played hockey anymore, but she knew it would destroy him if he was forced into retirement so soon. It was a huge part of his life, and he wasn’t ready to stop playing.
When she got to his room, she was surprised to see Tatiana standing at his side, talking softly with him in Russian. She had to bite back a shriek of jealous rage that the woman who’d broken his heart and then ran off with his brother got to see him before she did, but this wasn’t the time or the place.
Toli, however, knew instantly that his bride was not pleased to see Tatiana at his side and he reached out a hand to her. “My love.” He called to her and watched her face soften slightly.
“Hi, baby.” She ignored Tatiana completely and leaned over to kiss him. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” He nodded. “Tatiana was able to observe, to make sure the surgeon did a good job on my shoulder. Her specialty is orthopedics, so she got permission to watch. She wanted to make sure I would be able to play hockey again.” He looked at his bride almost pleadingly, hoping she would understand how grateful he was for this. Tatiana was many things he didn’t like, but she was an outstanding surgeon and knowing she’d been there, gave him hope for the future of his career.
“I’m glad she was there for you.” Tessa glanced up briefly, nodding at the woman, and then back down at her husband. “Are you in any pain?”
“No.” He smiled. “Drugs are good.”
She laughed lightly.
“What time is it? How long has it been? Why haven’t you changed? Have you eaten?” He looked annoyed suddenly and Tessa brushed a hand across his face.
“Would you have left to do those things while I was in surgery?”
He sighed. “Probably not.”
“So why would I?” She shook her head. “Now that I see you’re okay, I’ll go home and clean up. I have to make sure my parents are okay taking care of Raina—”
“Sweetheart, your parents take care of her all the time.” He squeezed her hand. “Relax.”
“I know. I guess I’m a little freaked out.”
“I’m going to go change clothes and check on Nikolai,” Tatiana interrupted quietly. She leaned over and murmured something to Toli in Russian before slipping out without another word.
“She couldn’t say it in English?!” Tessa muttered when the door closed behind the tall Russian woman. “She couldn’t say goodbye to me?”
“You’re jealous.” Toli’s eyes twinkled as he said the words, though part of him felt guilty for what he and Tatiana had been discussing.
She gave him an annoyed glance, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Now that I know you’re going to live, don’t think I won’t smack you upside the head if I so much as catch a glimmer of you looking at another woman!”
He chuckled deep in his throat. “Sweetheart, there hasn’t been another woman since you looked at me across the bar that night. I was a goner the minute I saw you.”
“I was so scared,” she whispered after a moment, leaning down and resting against him.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” He stroked her hair. “How is everyone else? Erin?”
“She’s still in surgery. We don’t know anything. Tiff is despondent—I don’t know how to help her. She believes this is her fault. Drake is a zombie. It’s a mess.”
Toli sighed. “And I’m stuck in here, with good drugs making me not care about anything except sleep.”
“Which is what you should do,” she whispered against his cheek. “I’m hoping to go home and get cleaned up, sleep a little and then come back. But I can’t leave until we know something about Erin.”
“Your parents are okay?”
“Yes, they’re at our house with Raina and CJ. They said they’ll stay as long as we need them to help out.”
“Where is Anton?”
“He’s out there—you want me to get him? He was pretty freaked out, but Sergei has been great with him.”
“Will you get him so I can talk to him before I fall asleep?” He looked tired and she nodded quickly.
“Of course.” She turned to go but he grabbed her hand.
“I’m sorry our wedding day was ruined.”
“I don’t care about that,” she said. “I only care about you.”
“I know, but this was supposed to be the best day of our lives and that asshole—” He grunted and said something ugly in Russian. “He ruined it for us. I will make this up to you.”
“We’re married, Toli—I don’t need a party to make that real.”
“I do.” He said it softly. “I refuse to let him win. When Erin and I are better, we’ll have a party.”
She smiled, tears pricking her eyelids for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
Anton felt like a boulder had been lifted from his chest when he saw his father resting comfortably in the hospital bed. He leaned down and kissed his head, the way Toli usually did to him, and his father’s eyes opened.
“Anton.” Toli smiled, so proud of the man his son was becoming.
“Dad! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Not my intention,” Toli chuckled. “How’s it going out there? Is Tessa really okay?”
“Her best friend could be dying,” Anton said sadly.
Toli sighed, regret filling his face despite the drugs coursing through his veins. “It pisses me off that I’m in here instead of out there helping.”
“We’ve got this, Dad,” Anton said firmly. “You just rest.”
“Are you okay?” Toli was tired but he knew his son and something had been on his mind since he’d arrived for the wedding; Toli had just been too busy to talk to him about it.
“Me?” Anton looked surprised. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“You’re restless, and you look like you want to talk about something.” Toli squinted slightly. “I wasn’t with you on a daily basis, but I think I know you pretty well. What is it? There’s been something since you arrived but you’ve been reluctant to bring it up.”
“It can wait, Dad. It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something.” Toli reached for his son’s hand. “If it’s important enough to be on your mind, then I want to hear it. It’s not like I can do anything else right now.”
“You’re on morphine,” Anton joked. “This might not be the best time for you to be giving me advice.”
“I think I’m lucid enough,” Toli said with his lopsided grin.
Anton sighed and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out papers and showed them to his father. “I don’t know what to do.”
Toli frowned as he took them. He had to blink a few times to focus, and at first everything was foreign. Finally, the words came to him in English and he stared at the information. Anton had been researching where to play hockey for his senior year of high school and there appeared to be endless options for a player of his skill level.
“I have so many places I can play and I’ve been putting off making a decision,” Anton said quietly. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you want to do?” Toli countered. “You were unhappy in Detroit. I could sense it, even before your accident.”
“There was a lot of pressure that had nothing to do with hockey,” Anton admitted. “With a dad who plays in the NHL, there were always questions, favors…” His voice trailed off.
“You never asked me for anything,” Toli frowned.
“I told them to fuck off,” Anton shrugged. “You’re my dad, not theirs. But there was some hazing to other guys that I didn’t like, and when I stuck up for them they kind of ostracized me. I don’t give a damn about their friendship, but it made it hard on the ice. That’s why I got hurt—no one had my back.”
Toli didn’t say anything for a moment, trying to wrap his head around a team that didn’t take care of each other. He’d never had that experience and wondered if it was the stigma of having a famous father that had put his son in that situation. “Would you rather play in high school your senior year?” he asked finally.
“My high school team isn’t going to be at a level to get me noticed.”
“You can play in the USHL,” Toli said. “You’ll keep NCAA eligibility and very likely will get recruited.”
“I want to come live with you!” Anton blurted out.
Toli blinked in surprise. He’d always hoped this would happen, but now that he was married and starting another family, it seemed like the timing was off. But he wouldn’t tell his son that; he’d hated the fact that another man had raised him. His mother might have other ideas, though. “Your mother is going to have a heart attack,” he said finally.
“But do you want me to live with you?” Anton suddenly looked five years old again and Toli smiled.
“Of course I want you to. I would have raised you on my own if I could have!”
“What about Tessa?” Anton looked miserable.
“Tessa adores you.”
“You’re newlyweds,” Anton said. “I know what goes on in the bedroom, Dad. And your wife is pretty hot. Is she going to want a teenage boy around? She has a little girl and some people are weird about—”
“Okay, wait.” Toli had to rub his eyes so he could focus. He was so damn sleepy, but there was no way in hell he could put off this conversation. “First of all, did you just call your stepmother hot?!”
Anton flushed. “I’m looking at it from her perspective,” he said. “She’s young and hot and just got married—you guys are probably having a lot of sex.” He put out a hand when his father started to talk. “I’m not being a jerk, Dad—I’m trying to be mature. I’m not a kid anymore—I’ll be 17 in November. I know about sex, and I’m not stupid. You and Tessa are having sex!”
Toli nodded slowly. “Yes, of course we are, but that has nothing to do with you coming to live with us.”
“It kind of does. You’re going to have to be quiet—quieter at least. You’re not going to be able to put Raina to bed and do it on the couch or whatever. Tessa’s going to have to get up and get dressed every morning—Mom walks around in a T-shirt and no bra, but it’s no big deal ‘cause she’s my mom. Tessa isn’t.”
Toli sighed, overwhelmed by both his son’s maturity and his insight. “Those are things we can figure out,” he said after a moment. “We are a family now. Tessa and I can get away whenever we need to, so we can be alone, and make noise.” He snickered as Anton’s cheeks got red. “But sex doesn’t define our lives. We have sex with Raina in the house and we will undoubtedly make love if you’re living there as well. In the shower or when you’re out with friends—it’s not that complicated. Zakk lived with us until recently—and he’s a man who could very well be looking at Tessa’s ass and breasts—but it was never a problem. Are you going to have a problem seeing my wife in a bathing suit by the pool?”
Anton shook his head. “No, but this would be all the time. I just don’t want to be a burden—or for her to resent me ‘cause I’m messing up the honeymoon period.”
Toli smiled. “Son, you have much bigger things to worry about than Tessa if you’re going to come live with me.”
“Like?”
“Where will you play hockey? The Jr. Sidewinders organization is small and not well developed yet—that would be far below your level. Even if you came to live with me, you would have to go to school somewhere else.”
“I’ve lived my whole life away from you, and I want to live with you for a little while before I become an adult and move out on my own!” Anton blurted out what he had to say before he lost his nerve.
Toli’s eyes widened and even in his hazy state understanding dawned. His son was growing up and needed his father; it was so simple, he felt like an idiot for not realizing where this was going. “Son, having you with me is something I’ve wanted since the day you were born,” he said. “And if this is what you want, we can make it happen. But if you want to play hockey professionally, you can’t spend your senior year playing for a little Nevada high school—you could lose all the momentum you’ve built.”
“I don’t know if I want to play hockey professionally anymore,” Anton whispered.
Toli was startled. This was totally out of left field. He’d never pressured Anton to play; it seemed to happen naturally, so this was a huge surprise. “Anton, you never felt like you had to play because of me, did you?”
“No!” Anton shook his head. “I love hockey—I think about playing all the time. I just hated it last year. That’s why I got hurt—I was distracted and unhappy. I don’t know why exactly, but I wasn’t having fun anymore. Coach Benoit was kind of a jerk, and—”
“You’re going to have to learn to deal with jerks,” Toli interrupted. “I’ve worked with
a lot of assholes over the years.”
“It’s not that,” Anton sank into the nearest chair and sighed. “He wasn’t a good person. He was with different women practically every night—and he offered to buy me a hooker so I could lose my cherry! It was creepy.”
Toli felt a moment of pride that his son wasn’t sexually active yet, and then annoyance that his old friend thought a hooker was necessary to make a good-looking teenager a man. He was going to have a conversation with him at some point, but today he already had more than he could handle. “Hookers are creepy,” Toli said. “I don’t recommend them. Yes, your first time would definitely be easier with one, but what’s the fun in that? Don’t you want your first time to be with some girl you really like? Even if it’s just a hookup, it should be your choice, on your terms. And hers, of course, but that goes without saying. Older women are great early on.”
“There just hasn’t been anyone that exciting yet.” Anton flushed. “Am I a total dork?”
Toli burst out laughing. “Actually, quite the opposite. You’re mature and sensible—something both your first lover and your future wife will appreciate. It’s not a race. I promise you, when it’s the right time and the right place, it’s going to happen before you realize what you’re doing. You’re prepared for that, right?”