“I’m not your father, Cheyenne.”
“You’re right; you’re not. At least he had the decency to walk away and not pretend to be a good man. Quit pretending, Shane.” I fumed. How dare he bring him up. Of course he knew about him. I’m sure Abby had told him. And he knew I lived with the Ryans my senior year of high school. But I didn’t want Aidan to know more than I already told him.
Shane made to say something, but the words never made it out.
I still had plenty to say, but I only left him with this. “If you can’t be the man Abby and your children deserve, then you better run away now. It will hurt them less in the long run. If you think you have what it takes, you better be one hundred and ten percent sure.” I thumped his chest. “Because if you hurt any of them any more than you already have, you will answer to me. And I have no problem sending you to a fiery grave.”
I limped away, both men staring after me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Happy birthday to me. What a freaking day it had been. There seemed to be nothing I could do to put Abby’s already fragile self-image back together. I knew it had to come from within, but I couldn’t get her to see how much she possessed. But I wasn’t giving up. She was going to see herself for who she really was, which was nothing short of amazing. No, she wasn’t the twenty-some-year-old with golden tresses that Shane almost bedded. I couldn’t believe how gorgeous the tramp was. How she ever went for Shane, I had no idea. I take that back. She saw a doctor.
Poor Abby went through every one of the tramp’s Facebook photos. Jessie and I tried to wrestle her laptop away from her, but she wasn’t having it. She tortured herself all morning long. Finally Jessie took the kids while I lay on Abby’s bed with her, trying to console her. You know when I’m brought to tears it’s bad.
Shane called her repeatedly. She answered once and did me proud by throwing a swear-filled don’t bother calling me again speech at him. Then she cried some more because she felt guilty about it. She still loved him. Maybe that’s why I never fell in love. I couldn’t understand the why of it. Like why Abby loved Shane or how Aidan could love someone so much that he saw them differently than everyone else. Or maybe I didn’t understand because no one ever saw me differently or cared to look past the exterior package. Sometimes even I didn’t see past it.
By evening I got Abby calmed down and showered before the kids returned. I even helped make sure backpacks were ready and outfits were picked out. What a way for them to return to school tomorrow. I offered to drive Avery and Isabelle. Connor had his own wheels. It was a crappy old sedan, but hey, when you’re that age, a car is a car.
While icing my leg, I contemplated how to best help Abby. I had done my best to get rid of Shane. I wasn’t sure if he would go away or not. I didn’t even know if Abby really wanted him to. She was undecided. Jessie made me not push her into my train of thought. I sometimes listened to her. Right now though, I felt that regardless of if she kept the bozo around or not, she needed to focus on herself. Abby needed to put on her own oxygen mask. The hard part was convincing her to. All she could see right now was that she was a failure.
While I bounced around ideas in my head, there was a knock on my door. Nine at night seemed a little late, considering I wasn’t dating anyone and hadn’t been in some time. “Go away,” I yelled. I didn’t care who it was. I was tired and my leg reminded me who was the boss today. I was paying for not using the dang crutches. But Abby had needed me.
“It’s me,” Aidan called.
“Like I said, go away.”
“Please open up.”
“No.”
“Happy birthday.”
How did he know? He was the only person to say those words to me today. Not even my mom or dad called. Jessie and Abby never remembered, not like I blamed them, well, I mostly understood. But you would think your co-creators would have remembered such an event. I sighed and threw off the bag of ice. I grabbed the stupid crutches and headed for the door. I opened it to find him standing there holding an oversized cupcake with a lit candle in it. He was so dumb. And incredibly good looking. Candlelight worked for him.
Then he did something no man had ever done for me. He serenaded me with the birthday song. His face burned red with embarrassment the whole time, but that only added to the charm. I hated him for it and wanted him more all at the same time. His voice was nothing short of inviting with a hint of sultry. It made me feel something. Something I wasn’t going to admit to. When he was done, he held up the cupcake. “Make a wish.”
“I don’t believe in them.” Wishing had never done me or anyone any good. I believed in making my own magic.
“Humor me.” He held the cupcake up a little more.
“Fine. I wish for you to go away.” I blew out the candle.
“Not happening.” He invited himself in, walking right past me.
I glared at him. “I don’t know whether to find your pushy attitude sexy or annoying.”
“Let’s go with sexy.” He shut my door. “And let’s get you off your feet.”
“Why are you here?”
He paused and tilted his head. “I came to apologize and wish you happy birthday.”
“For what?”
“How I left things on Friday.”
I shrugged as best I could standing on my sticks of torture. “I don’t care.”
“I do. And I think you’re lying.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You have a lot of nerve.”
He stepped forward and tucked a strand of my hair back behind my ear. “I just know what I want.”
I turned from his touch and headed for my couch. “Don’t fool yourself that it’s me. You made it clear on Friday what—or should I say who—you want. Besides, I’m not available.”
He followed me. “You keep saying that, but you don’t act like it.”
I took my seat on the couch and propped up my leg. The ice went back on. Aidan sat near. Close enough that I could feel the heat between us. I had to stop myself from taking advantage of it, of him. “If you’re looking for a meaningless hookup, yes, I would probably take you up on it. That isn’t the same as available.”
He set the cupcake with chocolate chip frosting on my coffee table before turning toward me and drawing me in with his eyes and that half-smile. “I’m not looking for anything meaningless when it comes to you.”
“You shouldn’t be looking for anything with me, period. People like us don’t mix. You want a Mary. A church-going, save-the-world, live-and-die-for-you kind of woman. I’m none of the above.”
His smile grew when he scooted closer. “I want the passionate woman who tells it like it is and loves her friends with a fierceness I’ve never seen. The woman whose kisses drive me wild and make it so I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“It’s all physical; you’ll get over it.”
He took my hand. “No, Cheyenne. I used to tell myself the same thing, thinking I would get over you. But the more I’m around you, the more I know that my feelings for you run deeper than that. Your drive and passion, your soul, are all intoxicating to me.”
I took my hand back even though I liked the physical connection. “You’re not thinking straight. I have that effect on men. I promise it will go away, just give it some time. Go find some sweet girl at church.”
“I’ve had that and I was happy with Mary, but there was never the passion between us that exists between you and me. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, which is why I behaved like an idiot on Friday.”
“Again, it’s physical. You’ll get over it.”
“Physically I’ve never been attracted to someone more, but don’t think for a second that’s all this is.”
“Hand me the cupcake.” I needed some chocolate more than ever.
He obeyed and reached for the delectable thing. “Does this mean you’re willing to give us a shot?”
“No. Shane was right about me. I don’t know what love is, and I don’t want to.”
&nb
sp; He set the cupcake back down, instead turning to lock eyes with me. “From where I stand, you know more about what real love is than most people.”
“You better get your head checked if you think that.”
He shook his head. “Your only problem is that you do your best to hide it, and no one’s been brave enough to try to break through your walls.”
“And you think you’re the man for the job?” Where did he get off thinking he knew me so well?
He handed me my cupcake. “You don’t know how much I’d like to be.”
I swiped the cupcake from him. “How did you know today’s my birthday?”
He stole some frosting with his finger. I wasn’t having it. I grabbed his wrist. “You didn’t answer my question. And it’s my birthday. I get the first taste.”
His pressed-lipped smile said he was happy to oblige. I dropped his wrist. I was too taken aback by the desire he ignited in me. Maybe besides murder, there were lessons in the Bible on how to be seductive, because he knew that in spades. His frosting filled finger inched toward my lips.
I took a breath. “I’m warning you. I bite.”
“I know.” His finger touched my aching lips. The preacher’s brother wasn’t supposed to be so alluring. He brushed my lips, giving me a hint of the sweetness of the frosting and what he could do to me. His eyes were daring me to fully take a taste.
My mouth captured his finger and savored the frosting along with him. He was more tempting than I’d given him credit for. He pulled his finger out slowly, making my insides shudder. He traced my lips one more time. “Happy birthday, Cheyenne.”
He made me want to change my wish.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I lay in bed that night unable to fall asleep. Aidan and Abby consumed my thoughts, but mostly Aidan, I hated to admit. We almost kissed again. We would have, but I refused to admit any feelings for him. I was mad at myself for missing out on the opportunity, as well as for wanting him. And I was furious at myself for being touched that he remembered Abby and Jessie discussing birthday plans for me around him several weeks ago before all hell broke loose. He wanted me to know I wasn’t forgotten. I wanted him to forget me.
I kept running through the earlier scene on my couch. I’d leaned in before he left. “I’m changing my wish. I want you to kiss me.”
He leaned in and with a tenderness I’ve never known, cradled my face in his more than capable hands. “Answer a question for me.”
In that moment, I was willing to answer anything he may have asked. I needed his lips pressed against mine.
“Do you like me, Cheyenne?”
Why did that matter to him? I thought about what to say, what he was really asking. I hated that he was making me think. That he was denying me what I wanted. “No.” I leaned in, hoping to tempt him. Trying to not think about how hollow and unbelievable my answer sounded.
Through his disappointment, I saw a moment where he didn’t care—he wanted me as much as I wanted him. His lips were parted, about to reach their final destination, but they rerouted and landed on my forehead, where they lingered, allowing the passion and regret to swell between us. “I’m going to work on that,” he whispered.
I pulled my silk sheets around me. I couldn’t have that. I refused to like him. I knew what that meant. He wanted all of me, parts of me that had never been exposed. Parts that when I was with him, I wanted to share. I wouldn’t be vulnerable. I wouldn’t be Abby or my mother.
That’s when it hit me. I sat up in bed, the silk glided down my body. I had to rid myself of Aidan before his strings had time to attach. Before I gave in. I realized tonight that the danger existed. And I knew just what to do to make sure that didn’t happen. In the process, I hoped it would help Abby as well. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I had to do what I had to do. And the added benefit would be that after I was done getting the church’s kitchen made over, the preacher and his brother would never bother me again. They wouldn’t know what hit them.
~*~
I called Aidan first thing in the morning. He sounded pleased I called him instead of the other way around. I used it to my advantage.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“And you’ve decided to admit you like me?”
“No.” I hated that he could tell I was mostly lying last night and still was.
“Maybe later.”
“I don’t think so, but what would you say if I told you I decided to head up your brother’s little fundraiser?”
“Uh, I would say I owe my brother twenty dollars?”
“Were you betting on me? Isn’t gambling a sin?”
“Not when it’s friendly, and I was sure I would win.”
“Get ready to pay up.”
“Are you serious?”
“Completely, but I need your help.”
“I’ll do anything.”
That was almost too easy. “Anything?”
He sighed. “You know I want to, but—”
“I’m not talking about that. Get your mind out of the gutter, preacher’s brother.”
He chuckled. “What are you talking about?”
“I need you to be my minion and do whatever I ask you to do for the fundraiser, no questions asked.”
“Why does this sound like a trap?”
“Hey, it’s your brother’s church. I don’t care about the state of the kitchen. Are you in or out?”
“What kind of things are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t work like that. Yes or no?”
He thought for a second or two. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this, but yes.”
“Perfect. You can make dinner tonight and we’ll discuss my plans and what you’ll be doing then.”
“I’m coaching tonight, so it will have to be late.”
“Okay, fine.”
“I promise it will be worth the wait.”
“It better. See you later.” I hung up, not letting him get in another word because his words turned me on and I was trying to flip the switch the other way.
Next up was good old Nate. “Your brother owes you twenty dollars.”
“Goodness. What a wonderful surprise.” He was the hokiest person I knew. I couldn’t believe he had a tattoo and was arrested for dealing marijuana. I kind of hoped it was true though, then maybe I could like him.
“Here’s the deal, Nate. We do things my way. We aren’t going to have any lame activities like bobbing for apples or face painting. This is going to be an adult event and it’s going to make you a lot of money. By the way, how much money do you need to raise?”
He cleared his throat. “The estimate for the remodel is about twenty thousand. The building budget has half of it already.”
“Ten grand? No problem.”
“Are you sure?”
“Preacher man, don’t ever underestimate me.”
“I would never dream of it.”
“Now that we understand each other, I need at least six weeks to pull this off.”
“Okay. We can schedule the fellowship hall for anytime you need.”
“I don’t know what a fellowship hall is, but it sounds awful. I can get us The Pavilion.”
“Oh. That would cost too much.”
“You’re underestimating me.” I knew the owner, Clive, and he owed me.
“If you’re sure.”
“Don’t worry, preacher man. This is going to be good.”
I had been up half the night planning the soiree and how to get Aidan out of my life. So maybe I’d had second thoughts about it. Hands down he was the best kisser, and his touch sent sparks through me. And that voice of his, which I would be putting to good use, was almost enough to make me second guess my life choices. Almost. But really this was for Abby. She was going to take the spotlight whether she wanted to or not.
Speaking of Abs, I had to get going to do the most domesticated thing I’d ever done, take kids to school. It was honestly a gift to them. Avery was going to look supe
r cool her first day of high school showing up in my sports car. I had already picked out the best first day of school outfit ever for her. It went with a pep talk about boys and loving yourself the best. That helped with boys and girls. Girls could be your worst enemy in high school. Look at poor Abby. I’d had no idea she felt so out of place in high school. Maybe if she had felt better about herself she would have never ended up with Shane.
His name had me feeling violent, and even more so when he was at their house seeing the kids off for their first day. I thought he had been banned from the premises. But when I walked in, there he was in the living room hugging Isabelle as if he was going off to war and may never see her again. Avery and Connor were keeping their distance, but their posture said they were unsure. Their eyes spoke of love and hate. Then there was Abs in the kitchen, watching and trying to pretend for the kids like it was all okay. She was doing a poor job with her trembling lip, misted eyes, and clenched fists.
Shane caught my eyes as I walked by into the open kitchen, his pleaded with mine not to say anything. My eyes said, I hate you and you’re lucky your kids are here.
It was tricky on crutches, but I put my arm around Abby and the tears she had been holding back fell one by one down her ivory cheeks. Her pain was palpable and filled the room. I never wanted to make anything better more in my life.
“Can Daddy take me to school?” Isabelle looked to her mommy once the yahoo let go of her.
Abby barely nodded her approval.
“I’m still going with Cheyenne.” Avery picked up her backpack.
Connor slung his bag around his shoulder. “I’m picking up Maddie. I got to go.” I wondered how Jessie and Blake felt about that.
Shane approached his older children, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Let me at least give you some gas money.”
“I’m good.” Connor walked off.
“Son,” Shane called after him causing Connor to halt, but not turn to look at him. “I love you. Have a good day.”
Connor shrugged and headed out the door. The anger that brewed beneath the surface came out in the slam of the door.
Cheyenne (The Women of Merryton Book 4) Page 17