He parted his lips, deepening their kiss. She sucked in a sharp breath through her nose when he crushed her against his chest. Her tongue rolled over his, commanding every ounce of restraint.
She let out a small sigh, her fingers gently resting on his jaw. When he pulled away, her eyes fluttered open. “I’m going to take that as a yes, you’ll help.”
He searched her eyes, then looked at his mother’s drawings. Zanya would go after Sarian with or without him. At least if he were there, he could keep her safe. “On one condition.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Promise to put your safety before anything or anyone. No exceptions.”
“It’s a deal.”
Chapter Fifteen
Arwan waited in the study.
The seeker sat across from him, staring at the doorway.
Peter walked in, making the seeker scowl. It was obvious he was waiting for Zanya to arrive. This time, he would be doing himself a favor to watch how he treated her.
Arwan’s attention returned to Peter, who was walking better now. His arm wasn’t in a sling anymore, and he only had a slight limp. His healing abilities did him well.
Renato stood from behind his desk, puffing his pipe. “I hope your accommodations are comfortable.”
The seeker pivoted in his seat. “Yeah. They’re good, thanks.”
Zanya's quiet footsteps caught Arwan’s attention. He stood and walked through the room, meeting her halfway.
“Ken-doll-Prince Charming-Casanova hybrid,” Jayden scoffed under his breath. “What a douche.”
If Arwan were anyone other than who he was, he wouldn’t have heard the seeker. The guy had a real chip on his shoulder, but Arwan wouldn’t play into it. More tension was the last thing Zanya needed.
Zanya gave a brilliant smile. “Hey.”
“Are you ready for this?” The road ahead was going to be rough. He doubted she understood just how difficult it would be.
Zanya’s smile vanished and she shifted her weight. “I don’t have much of a choice.”
They walked to the sofa, where he sat beside her. The seeker trained his gaze on Zanya. Arwan didn’t need to be a mind reader to know what was reeling through his head. He wanted her.
“So, are we doing this, or what?” The seeker sat back in his seat. “Or should I say, can you do this?”
“I’m going to try.” Arwan rested his arm over the back of the couch behind Zanya's shoulders. The seeker’s glare intensified. “I’ve never been back that far,” Arwan continued. “I always thought it was impossible. Time bending has restrictions, limitations. But I’ve been thinking. If we measure the time it takes to go back every minute, we can safely figure out how long it would take to go back seventeen years.”
Renato’s eyes brightened. “That’s brilliant.”
Jayden huffed. “Of course it’s brilliant. Everything that comes out of his mouth is laced in magic and pixie dust.” The seeker pushed out of his seat. “Let’s stop wasting time.”
“Bueno.” Arwan stood and held his hand out to Zanya.
“I think she can get off the couch without you carrying her.” Jayden stalked toward the exit.
“Maybe you’re angry because you weren’t man enough to treat her like a lady.”
Jayden froze. “What the hell did you just say?” He turned, his shoulders rising and falling with each breath.
“Ohhh nooo,” Hawa said in a low tone.
The seeker stepped toward him. “Not man enough? I treated her like gold!” His shouts made Zanya wince. Jayden seemed to notice her reaction. He reeled himself back and lowered his voice. “He’s not the only one who knows a good thing when he sees it, you know.”
Zanya's head cocked slightly. “What do you mean?” Her cheeks flushed pink when she realized what had happened. She shot out of her seat and marched toward him. Jay quickly stepped back. “It serves you right! What, you think my life is some kind of channel you can tune in to and watch anytime you want? How dare you seek me without my permission? Who said I want you peeking in on what I’m doing anytime you feel like it?”
Jayden’s nostrils flared. “More like who you’re doing.”
Zanya balled her fists, and without a word in response, crossed her arms over her chest, curling her sleeves tight around her fingers.
Arwan fought the instinctual desire to tear the seeker apart. That wasn’t him. But that wasn’t who he’d chosen to be.
“Zanya.” Jayden shifted closer to her and spoke in a whisper. “Why do you make it so damn hard to talk to you? I just want to explain, but every time I do, you turn it into a kick-Jayden-in-the-balls party. What do I have to do for you to listen to me?” Zanya shook her head, still not saying a word. “There’s no getting through to you, is there?” Jayden dropped his shoulders. “Fuck it.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.
She shoved him away, tearing their lips apart. Zanya gripped her chest, sucking in labored, shallow breaths. “What the hell, Jayden!” She staggered back.
Something inside Arwan snapped, and his world was washed in red. He struck out and wrapped his hand around the seeker’s throat, lifting him off the ground. The seeker’s feet dangled off the floor, cutting off his breath. Muffled grunts barreled in his chest.
The beast inside of him squeezed his hand tighter. The seeker’s eyes widened and he kicked harder, struggling to break free.
Renato grabbed Arwan from behind and pulled back on his shoulders, but he wouldn’t budge. “Let him go, Arwan! Let go. You’re going to kill him!”
Jayden’s eyes glossed with pressure. He used what little leverage he had to punch Arwan in the jaw, but it didn’t break his focus.
Renato heaved Arwan back. “Let him go!” Renato’s voice was distorted in his ears.
Jayden’s eyes rolled in the back of his head.
Zanya grabbed his arms and pulled on him. The warmth of her skin broke the hold of his inner darkness. He looked at Zanya. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes wide. This wasn’t who he wanted to be. Arwan blinked and let go of the seeker, letting him fall to the floor.
Zanya’s breath skipped and her knees buckled. He caught her before her body hit the floor.
Jayden writhed and gasped, rubbing the tender half circle around his throat. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” His voice was horse as he choked out the words.
Peter rushed to Zanya's side and pressed his hand over her forehead. “She passed out.” His hand rested on her chest. “Her heart’s beating a million miles an hour. Her pulse is…” He pressed two fingers over her wrist and waited in silence. “Good God. One ninety-two.”
***
Zanya
Zanya sat up in bed, still a little hazy from her fainting spell. Whatever had come over Arwan, she’d never seen anything like it. Even Renato couldn’t move him, and she had watched him pull a solid wood beam off of Peter with one hand.
There was a knock on her door. She startled. “Who is it?”
“It’s Jay.”
She rolled her eyes. “Go away.”
“Zanya, we have to talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
There was a short pause. “Well, you can’t just sit on your bed all day…and stop glaring at me.”
Her eyes widened. How dare he seek her, especially after what happened in the study. She sprang out of bed and flung open the door. “What!”
He rested his arm on the doorframe. “Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Then can you come out?”
“No!”
He pursed his lips into a tight line. “Stop being so stubborn.”
“You’re calling me stubborn?” She jabbed her finger at his chest. “You have some nerve.”
“I need to have nerves of steel to be around you.”
She propped her hands on her hips. “Well if I’m so unnerving, why are you here?”
“Because I fell in love with an unnerving, stubborn girl who drives me
nuts.” His jaw snapped shut.
“Yeah. I believed that once.”
He hung his head. “I’m sorry, Zanya. I didn’t mean…” He sighed. “I don’t want to fight. How can I fix this?”
She shrugged and crossed her arms. “You had no right to kiss me. None.”
His frown deepened. “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that. I just wish there was something I could do to fix this. Fix us.”
“Not everything broken can be fixed.”
He met her gaze. “Don’t tell me that.”
“Well, what do you want me to say? That it’s so fan-freaking-tastically awesome that you pretended to care about me for a job?” She snorted. “You have some nerve.”
“Yeah, well it didn’t exactly go as planned for me, either.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“You don’t believe me?”
Exhaustion washed over her, and she slumped against the doorframe. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. My entire life has been one, big, cruel joke. Whatever higher powers are out there, they’ve been using me as their personal jester, pointing and laughing while I run into every booby trap they’ve set.” She dragged herself through her room and sat on her bed. Jayden lingered in the doorway as she played dolefully with the seam of her shirt. “Are you just going to stand there?”
“You said I couldn’t come in.”
“Well, if you don’t, you’ll just stand in the hall and watch me with your sixth sense anyway.”
He stepped in and shut the door. “So what do we do now?” He crossed the room and sat beside her.
“I need to find Arwan. He’s probably really upset with himself.”
“I don’t know about being upset with himself, but I’d say he’s upset.”
“What do you mean? Have you talked to him?”
“No, but I saw him for about five seconds this morning before he took off.”
“Where?”
Jayden shrugged. “Do I look like a babysitter?”
His attention wandered, and he peered through the open door to her bathroom. “Well, that’s hardly fair. I have to share one with dumb and dumber.”
She shot him a your-next-words-could-be-your-last glare.
He raised his hands in defeat. “Fine. Peter and Arnie.”
“That’s not his name.”
“I think it fits him.” He lay down and stared at the ceiling. “He reminds me of that guy from Sesame Street. What’s his name, with the best friend?”
“Bert and Ernie?”
“Ernie! That’s what I’ll call him.”
“If you want me to kill you.” Electricity sparked over her skin, but then fizzled out. Too bad, it would have been so satisfying to zap him. Just once.
Jayden’s grin vanished. “Apparently your taste has changed.”
“No it hasn’t. It just…expanded.”
He pushed up on his forearms. “So you still think I’m hot?”
“I did not say that.”
“But you didn’t not say it, either.”
She jabbed a finger at him. “Don’t push it.” There was a knock at the door. Zanya immediately tensed. “Who is it?”
“Arwan. May I come in?”
Zanya jumped off the bed. “Uh…” She stared at Jayden with wide eyes, biting her lip. After a moment of considering her options, she let out a long exhale. It wasn’t like she could shove Jayden in her closet. That would look even worse, like she was trying to hide him. “Yeah. Come in.”
Arwan opened the door and poked his head in the room. Jayden threw up a peace sign. Arwan parted his lips as if he was going to say something to Jay, but didn’t. Instead, looked at Zanya. “Renato wants you to keep studying the abilities of the stone. I’m working with him on the time bending issue, but you should be ready if we figure out a solution. He thought I should tell you rather than ask Marzena. She was worried you were too exhausted for her telepathy.” He looked at Jay. “I’ll let her know you’re feeling better.” He slipped back out and shut the door.
Zanya stared at the door. “Great! Now he thinks I was in here with you. That we were…together.”
Jayden rocked up to a sitting position. “You were sitting right beside me. I would classify that as together, wouldn’t you?”
She balled her fists. “You are—”
“Handsome? Charming? Irresistible?”
“A royal pain in my ass. Get out!”
***
Arwan
The tiny grass hut with a triangle roof was finally in sight. Though Arwan had seen that same hut a thousand times, today it seemed different. Perhaps it was the heartache he carried with him. Either way, he was sure Drina wouldn’t be surprised to see him.
Standing outside the mud-spackled walls, he pushed aside the fabric covering the entrance of her home. “Tía Drina?”
There was a pause before a familiar rickety voice replied from behind him. “I t’ought you would be here today.” Drina struggled with a stack of wood in her arms. He scooped the weight off of the aging woman’s bones. She wiped sweat from her forehead, then waved him forward. “Inside.”
Arwan ducked through the door and set the firewood onto the grass mat. “You knew I was coming?”
Drina shooed away her graying black hair and scooped a handful of water over her face from the terracotta basin. “You forget who you are talking to, hmm?” Drina puckered her lips while inspecting him from top to bottom. She waved her finger in the air. “Somet’ing is different about you. T’ere is somet’ing weighing you down. Your heart bleeds.” She threw wood onto the fire. Flames caressed the curves of the bark, engulfing them with red and orange. “So, you tell me what bot’ers you, and Drina will do her best to help.” She plopped on the floor and signaled for him to join her.
Arwan sat across from her, his legs tucked under him and his chest pushed out.
He recalled the stories Drina had told him of tribe leaders gathering around a fire so many years ago. Warriors with painted chests and faces, and armor made of animal bone, all of them participating in the grave discussion of the future of man.
He drew in a deep breath, cuing the wrinkles around Drina’s eyes to deepen with observation. “Love can destroy you if you expect it to feed your soul.” Arwan nodded in understanding. He wanted nothing more than to allow himself to be happy. But the darkness inside him was not worthy. Worse, it was dangerous. “Your love must be selfless. The guardian will love you in return, only if she knows who she gives her heart to.”
“She won’t want me if she knows who I am.” He ground his teeth. “No one could. I almost allowed it through. I couldn’t control it, and nearly killed someone…because of how I feel about her.”
After a silent moment, Drina reached for something near the firewood, and then whopped him on top of his head with a stick. Arwan jumped and rubbed the sore spot on his scalp. “Enough of feeling bad for yourself.” Drina waved the broken branch in his face, her wrinkles puckered into a scowl. Grunts pushed out of her throat as she got to her feet and stared down at him.
Arwan stood so he wouldn’t be at perfect beating level. “What was that for?” The woman had lost her mind.
Drina grabbed him by his earlobe. “Pitiful boy sits. Does not’ing but rolls in mud like an elephant in the heat.” Arwan stumbled under her lead, half-crouched while Drina dragged him out of the hut and to the bank of a stream.
When she finally let go, Arwan stood up straight, nearly two heads taller than her. He rubbed his ear without the slightest clue how to respond. Drina was a lot of things, but truly insane wasn’t on the top of the list. Something had set her off, and he was better off to shut his mouth and listen.
She poked him in the stomach with the stick. “The power inside you did not flare because of a weakness, but from finding someone who you care for more than yourself. Your balance.” She pointed to the water. “You are who you are, and you know what the ripples of fate can do. And you fear them.” She threw the stick in the water, causing a school of gup
pies to scatter in every direction. “But you forget. When the surface stands too still, not’ing changes.” Her rickety fingers wavered in front of him. “The ripples are progress.” She perched her fists on her hips. “But you…” She shook her head, her bushy eyebrows pushed downward. “You will never find happiness.”
Arwan’s chest constricted. In all the years he’d known Drina, she was never wrong. Not in her predictions, not in her advice. She knew him inside and out, and the truth that had come from her lips nearly sent him crumbling to the ground. “You are too selfish. Too scared.” She waved her hand in the air as if shooing away a mosquito. “Too weak.” The old woman slowly waddled back to her grass hut. “Your mot’er was wrong.” Her voice faded with every step. “You are still not ready.”
He crouched and stared into the mirror surface of the slow-moving creek. It had been a long time since he was brave enough to look at himself in the mirror.
Zanya was right. He did have his mother’s eyes.
He squared his jaw as a well of determination roared to life. It was deep, savage, and fierce. He pushed his chest out and leaned closer to the water’s surface.
He wouldn’t be like the guppies, clustered together because they were too afraid to venture out alone. They may be up against the general of the underworld, but he’d be damned if he’d let Zanya face Sarian alone.
Not when he was the only one who could.
He slapped the surface of the water, scattering the tiny fish and distorting his reflection. There were so many days he didn’t feel human. As the water pacified and regained its smooth surface, the reflection that stared back at him was much different than before.
The person he saw now was filled with purpose.
Chapter Sixteen
Zanya
The next morning, Zanya walked into the kitchen while humming a classical tune. What happened with Arwan seeing Jayden in her bedroom was an issue she would just have to deal with later. Now, she needed to find a way to go back.
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