by S. J. Bishop
I pictured her clothes coming off piece by piece, scattered all over the floor.
No, Ned, not here. Not now, I mentally chastised myself.
“We should… um…” I started, but I couldn’t find the words to continue.
“Leave?”
“Yes,” I breathed, sweating through my shirt. It had become impossibly hot.
She nodded her head and, with cheeks aflame, she grabbed the stroller and headed out. Once on the sidewalk, we were about to part ways when something possessed me. Without thinking, I grabbed her hand, our fingers locking together.
To my surprise, she didn’t pull away.
“Um… do you think… you’d like to have dinner with me?”
She blinked in confusion. “What?”
I gulped. Great, here comes the rejection.
Still, I wet my lips and tried again. “Do you want to have dinner with me? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I can cook something, or we can order delivery and eat at my place.”
“Oh…” Her blush deepened as she looked away.
Dammit. Why had I been so rash? Now I had scared her away….
“I’d love to…”
Wait, did she just say yes? Her answer came as a complete surprise.
“What time?”
“What time?” I repeated like an idiot. “What time for what?”
“Dinner?” She laughed. “Are you okay?”
“Oh… right! Um… how about seven? Does that work for you? I leave the office at six. But if you want to do something a little earlier, that’s fine too. My schedule is pretty flexible.”
“No. No. Seven is perfect. Well, I guess I’ll see you back at the apartment then?”
I nodded. “Yes! At seven.”
“At seven,” she said with a smile before walking away.
I followed her with my eyes until she rounded the corner and disappeared. I couldn’t believe it. Had I actually asked her on a date? The last time I did that, I was in high school, trying to get a girl to go to prom with me. Let’s just say, it didn’t really work out the way I had planned. I wasn’t the smoothest of guys when it came to women…
Finally, I managed to pull away and head for my car, still thinking about Stacey.
There was definitely something going on between us. As oblivious as I usually was, I could feel it. Something about the air changed whenever I was with her, almost as if all of the particles were charged with energy. It was a feeling like none other, and one that I didn’t want to fade.
Yet I didn’t know what to make of it.
What the hell was I supposed to do?
10
Stacey
Had I really agreed to dinner with a man I barely knew?
Especially after seeing my ex?
It didn’t make any sense. Why would I do that?
And yet, it had felt like the right thing to do. I wanted to have dinner with him – to spend time with him – to know more about him.
My fingers were still shaking from our time together in the bathroom. I had never felt anything like it before. It was like touching his body had filled me with this heat that smoldered in the pit of my stomach. Every time I thought of him, it grew hotter and hotter.
Could it be that I was falling for him?
No. What was I thinking?
I hadn’t even known the guy for twenty-four hours. But deep down, I felt like there was something there. Maybe it was nothing, but my heart insisted otherwise.
Thinking it would be silly to fret over it, I pushed the thought out of my head and started home.
Yet when dinner time approached, I was overcome by nervous anxiety. I stood in front of my closet, staring at my clothes. What was I supposed to wear?
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my reflection. I frowned. My body was not what it used to be before the pregnancy. Once, I had been slim, toned and elegant. Now I was plagued with baby fat that simply refused to go away. Frustrated, I tried to suck it in, but as soon as I needed to breathe out, it reappeared.
But what did it matter?
This was nothing more than a simple, platonic dinner, right?
Trying to convince myself of that, I picked out the first thing I saw.
A bright red dress I had worn when I’d first met Emil.
I flung it away as if the satin material had burned my hand. The heap of fabric seemed to stare at me, reminding me of that night.
It had seemed so perfect – so right. If only I could go back in time and change everything… but that would mean giving up Missy, and I could never do that.
With no other choice, I ignored the dress and grabbed something else. A plain black t-shirt. It would be a little tight, but at least it would be slimming. Besides, it was completely innocuous. That way, Ned wouldn’t get the wrong idea.
The last thing I needed was to fall for a man I barely knew – to make the same mistake twice.
Finally dressed, the next mission impossible was trying to tame my hair. I hadn’t done anything other than keep it in a ponytail for the last few months. Of course, I could just keep it that way, but a part of me wanted to do something different.
Carefully, I pulled out my scrunchie, letting my hair fall to its full length. The tips skirted along my waist. It had never been this long before. I definitely needed to get it cut… or… maybe I could experiment with it. Who knew? It might be fun to have long hair for once.
In the end, however, I stuffed it into a bun, doing my best to tame the baby-hairs that framed my face, but without much luck. Eventually, I just gave up. I didn’t even know why I was trying so hard. It wasn’t like I was trying to impress Ned or anything.
He was just a friendly neighbor who had invited me to dinner. That was all.
I grabbed Missy and fed her a bottle. She was half asleep by the time she finished it, her eyes already heavy. I kissed the top of her head before placing her in her carrier.
By the time we reached Ned’s door, she was already fast asleep.
I stood there for a moment, my hand twitching with the urge to knock, but my mind was plagued by doubt. Why was I doing this? I knew nothing about this man. For all I knew, inviting me into his apartment was all part of some diabolical plan. I envisioned my murder headlining tomorrow’s newspapers.
C’mon, Stacey, this isn’t some horror movie, I told myself, finally mustering the courage to knock.
Instantly, the door swung open, almost as if he had been standing behind it, waiting for my arrival.
He had a bright smile on his face, and his blue eyes were shining. “Hello!”
The smell of a pot roast invaded my senses. I nearly drooled. When was the last time I’d had a decent meal? I couldn’t even remember.
“Please, come in.” He ushered me forward. “Dinner just came out of the oven.” He led me to the kitchen and pulled out a chair for me, acting like the perfect gentleman.
I blushed at his gestures. No one had ever treated me this way before. It made me feel like a princess.
“Can I get you anything to drink?”
“Water’s fine,” I answered.
“Oh, come on, you don’t have to be modest at my expense. Name your drink; I’m sure I have it.”
“Um…” I felt obliged to answer, but at the same time, I didn’t know what to say. “Do you have some wine?” I bit the inside of my lip. It wasn’t like Missy was still breastfeeding. A bit of alcohol might actually do me some good. Help take the edge off my nerves.
God knows I needed it.
“Coming right up.” He snatched a bottle from the counter. It was already opened, as if he’d known that was what I would ask for.
Lucky guess.
11
Ned
Here you are.” I placed the glass in front of her with a smile. “Anything else I can get you?”
“No, thank you… You’ve already done so much. You really didn’t have to cook me dinner. I don’t want to turn into your charity case.”
“It
’s not like that.” I shook my head. “I just thought it would be a good opportunity for us to get to know each other. I mean, isn’t that what neighbors are supposed to do?” As I spoke, I started to carve the roast, placing a few slices on a plate for her. I then heaped on a bit of mashed potatoes, praying she liked my cooking. It had been a long time since I had properly set foot in a kitchen.
“Thank you,” she whispered with a look of hunger painted all over her face.
It pained me to think about what this woman must have gone through and what she must still be going through. I wanted to help her, but I sensed that her pride would hold back my advances. Maybe, however, if I gained her trust, she’d be more willing to accept my help.
We ate in silence for a while before I finally cleared my throat, trying to think of a topic to spark some conversation. I had spent most of my life alone. I wasn’t used to making small talk. Most nights, I spent my dinner responding to Jeopardy questions.
This was uncharted territory for me.
“So… tell me about yourself.” I instantly regretted my words as soon as they left my lips.
“There isn’t much to tell,” she answered in a self-diminutive way. “I’m just the woman who lives in 102.”
“Oh, come on, you’re much more than that,” I pressed, unconsciously reaching out and taking her hand in mine. I squeezed it tight and looked into her eyes. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Stacey.”
She didn’t move for a second, just kept looking at me with a thoughtful expression. Her lips parted as if she were about to say something, but then she pulled away, grabbed her knife, and almost violently started cutting her slices of roast into bite-sized pieces. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Oh.” My shoulders sagged.
Great, I had upset her.
I racked my brain, trying to find a solution that could remedy the situation. It was odd. At work, people sometimes called me a genius. I could solve a differential math equation in a matter of seconds. I could hack into most low-level security systems with my eyes closed. I could reassemble the parts of a standard issue Sig Sauer P226 with one hand tied behind my back. But this… talking to an incredibly attractive girl while we ate dinner together… this was rocket science. Actually no, rocket science would probably be easier.
All I could do was stare at her like an idiot.
Well, my attempt at a date was going along fine… just fine.
Why did I even bother?
All too soon, Stacey put down her utensils, finished her glass of wine, and pushed away from the table. “I should get going. Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.”
As she got up, all I wanted to do was take her into my arms and stop her from leaving. It was a feeling that nearly overwhelmed me, like a wolf coming alive inside me. This wolf wanted her – wanted her badly.
But somehow, I managed to quell the feeling and politely show her to the door. As soon as I locked the latch, a sense of loneliness washed over me.
Usually, I was content to be by myself. It had never really bothered me… until now.
I nearly ran out the door to chase after her. It was like a part of me needed her – like she was the missing puzzle piece in my life that would give it purpose.
Still, what would a woman like Stacey want with a man like me?
I didn’t have a chance in hell.
So I plopped down on the couch and put The Matrix on. Maybe if I pretended she didn’t exist, this loneliness would go away. But she kept popping up in my mind over and over again. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
With no other option, I headed for bed. At least if I was asleep, she’d have a harder time encroaching into my thoughts. Plus, in the morning, I’d be able to evaluate things with a fresh mind.
I woke with a start, my eyes wide and the sheets already flung to the side. A second later, I sprung to my feet, adrenaline rushing through my veins.
Missy.
Her wails penetrated through my soul, causing my heart to ache.
Something was wrong.
I could feel it.
Without bothering to put on proper clothes, I dashed over to Stacey’s apartment in my pajamas.
I knocked.
No answer.
Missy continued to cry.
“Stacey! It’s me, open up!”
Still no answer.
Had something happened to Stacey?
“Stacey! Please, let me in. Let me help!” I begged through the door, banging on it. At this point, I didn’t care if I woke up the whole apartment complex. I needed to know that she was okay. There was this alpha instinct stirring up inside me that I had never felt before. I felt like it was my duty to keep her safe.
I took a few steps back, about to break down the door when it swung open.
Stacey stood there, the baby cradled in her arms. “Please… you have to drive us to the hospital. She’s burning up, and I don’t know what to do… She won’t stop crying. I think something’s wrong. She won’t eat.” She rattled out the words, her voice shaking with fear for her baby’s wellbeing.
“Stay here,” I ordered, dashing back into my apartment and grabbing my car keys.
Deep down, I knew there was no time to waste.
Missy was counting on me.
And I’d be damned if I let her down.
12
Stacey
I held Missy tight.
Why did bad things keep happening to us? My pregnancy had been a nightmare, with complication after complication popping up. I had spent a small fortune going to doctors.
And then, Emil had left us.
My paintings had failed to put food on the table.
Now, Missy was burning up. Her temperature was already 104, and she seemed to be getting hotter and hotter with each passing minute.
She was sweating through her blankets and shivering at the same time.
What was I supposed to do?
Ned reached across and grabbed my hand, taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at me. “Hey, there’s nothing to worry about, okay? Everything is going to be fine.” He squeezed my hand, our fingers locking as if they belonged together.
Truthfully, I was glad he was with me. I had no idea if I would have been able to handle this situation on my own. I was terrified. It was a relief to have someone to lean on… even if our relationship was just platonic.
And yet, as Ned looked at me, I couldn’t deny that there was something more to it. His eyes burned with an unspoken language that I understood.
We both liked each other.
It was obvious.
I looked away. I couldn’t admit it. Not yet. It was too soon. The wounds Emil had left behind were still too fresh.
So I didn’t say a word. I just looked out the window, praying that everything would turn out okay, just as he’d said.
Once we reached the hospital, Ned rounded the car to open the door for me. Even at a time like this, he still acted like the perfect gentleman.
Once inside, he hailed a nurse, explaining the situation. It didn’t take long for us to be guided into an exam room. Those few minutes before the doctor arrived were tense and full of anxiousness.
In my arms, Missy had tuckered herself out, but she was still burning up.
Knock, knock.
The doctor popped in his head before we could even answer. He was an older gentleman with a face full of lines and eyes weighed with experience. He sat down in front of us, his bones creaking. “So, what appears to be the problem?”
“She has a fever. 104 last time I checked,” I answered, doing my best to keep my composure, even though all I wanted to do was crumble into a heap and cry. All of this was just too much for me to handle.
He nodded his head. “Do you mind placing her on the exam bench?” He had a thermometer in his hand. “And when did you first notice she had a fever?”
“Well, she seemed fine when I put her to sleep, but then she woke up screaming. When I went to check o
n her, she was burning up.”
“When did this happen?”
“I don’t know… around eleven maybe.”
The doctor looked at his watch. I glimpsed at the time. Quarter to four.
“And why did you wait all this time to come to the hospital?” He withdrew the thermometer, narrowing his eyes at the number displayed. “104.4. Such a high fever can be lethal for an infant. How old is she?”
My heart froze.
Did he just say… lethal?
How could he say that so… casually?
“What are you going to do?” Ned spoke up for the first time. “There’s no sense in scaring Stacey to death if you don’t plan on doing anything to help.” There was an edge to his voice that I hadn’t heard before. Even his eyes seemed darker.
Was he angry?
“What kind of a doctor do you think I am?”
“One that needs to learn be kinder to his patients,” Ned snapped. “Now, I suggest you start doing something to help instead of interrogating this poor woman. She’s a fine mother.”
“And who are you?”
“A friend.”
“Oh, and where’s the father of the child?” There was clear judgment radiating from the other man.
“That’s none of your business.” This time, Ned’s words were a clear growl. He rose to his feet, towering above the doctor. “Now, are you going to help us or not?” Beside him, his fists shook like he was struggling with a surge of anger.
“I’ll see what I can do. Hopefully, it’s nothing more than a fever. In that case, a bit of Tylenol should suffice. I’ll be right back.” He quickened out of the room, almost as if he’d felt threatened by Ned’s sudden display of dominance.
I stared at him, feeling like I was looking at a totally different man.
He chuckled nervously. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries there. He was just really getting on my nerves.” He ran his fingers through his hair.