As she readied for bed, exhaustion weighed down her limbs. The day had felt a week long, and she hadn’t yet adjusted to a more nocturnal schedule.
Slipping into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth. Much as she wanted to take a full bath or shower, she could barely stand upright, so she washed quickly at the sink. Back in the bedroom, she closed her door and crawled between the covers.
She didn’t make it to turning out the bedside light. The world went dark as soon as her head hit the pillow.
An undefined amount of time later, she didn’t wake gently or slowly, but all at once in a clench. It took a few moments for her to realize where she was, as she stared around the strange, windowless room.
Memory flooded in. The confrontation with Malphas, and what had come after.
The things she and Xavier had said to each other, the things he had done to her, his mouth moving so knowledgeably as he tongued her until an inescapable fire had flared hot and bright. How he moved on top of her, moved inside of her, the feral changes in his face, and the gentleness of his hands and lips.
It had been at least a year since she had last taken a lover, and she felt the soreness in her muscles as she shifted her legs restlessly. Even with the soreness, an edge of that fiery hunger pulsed. Slipping a hand between her legs to cup herself, she realized she hadn’t even taken off the robe. The soft material twisted around her body.
Without visual cues from looking outside, it was impossible to know the time without a clock or device of some sort, and she was still very tired. What had woken her? She hadn’t dreamed of Malphas, thank God. Perhaps she had noticed the strangeness of the bed.
Faintly, the sound of male voices came through the closed door. Even though she could just barely hear them, not what was actually being said, they sounded tense, even angry.
Oh Lord, what now?
Throwing back the covers, she adjusted the robe and slipped out of the room.
The door to the bedroom where Diego had stayed was propped open, the room empty. The voices came from the living room.
As she froze in indecision, Diego said, “It’s been three years, and I’m not going anywhere. I clean the pool, maintain the cars and polish the guns, and that’s my entire life. When Melisande and Justine came to visit? That was the most interesting thing to happen to me in a long damn time. Even coming here last night was a massive change, and all I fucking did was go to bed.”
Sinking both hands into her hair, she held her head.
What is it about me? What?
I don’t ask to overhear this stuff.
“While I understand what you’re saying, it doesn’t change my mind.”
She had a visceral reaction, just listening to the sound of Xavier’s voice. Sensation ran along her skin, and she shivered, wrapping the robe more tightly around her torso.
His mouth on her. His mouth on her.
Dear God.
Calm and courteous, Xavier continued. “I retired you from the field for many good reasons, and I’m not going to put you back in active duty. The last time you went on assignment, your cover was so badly blown, you would be a dead man if I sent you back out again. You’re done, Diego. You’ve been done for a long time, and there’s no coming back from this retirement. I’m sorry, but that’s my final decision.”
Xavier retired Diego from a field?
A mental picture of Diego mowing an overgrown pasture bloomed in her mind. It was so patently ridiculous, the last of the sleep cobwebs in her mind blew away and she really woke up.
He retired Diego from active duty.
Like a spool of thread, everything she had witnessed from the past six weeks unrolled in her mind.
How she had felt more than once that something was slightly off at the estate. How everyone else had stopped talking whenever she entered the room.
How all five of the young men disappeared from one day to the next, and nobody brought it up in conversation. How important it had been to keep their identities hidden when unfriendly strangers had arrived.
How overwhelmingly knowledgeable Raoul was at killing. Once, she had even thought he would make an excellent assassin.
Was this . . . a little like James Bond?
With Vampyres?
She wasn’t sure if she should feel so amazed, or if she should just feel like a fool for not putting two and two together before now.
Before she could castigate herself too much, Diego spoke again. The tone in his voice was flat and final. “You’re right, Xavier. I’m done. I quit.”
SEVENTEEN
Silence fell.
Then Xavier said, “I take it you would not have brought this up if you weren’t sure. Do you know what you will do now?”
“Not yet. I think it might be best if I didn’t return to the estate with you and Tess. Is there any way I could get you to take me into the city, after sunset? That is, if you’re done with your business here.”
“I can give you a ride. Where would you like to go?”
“I thought I would stay at a nice hotel, maybe the Four Seasons, and consider my options. All I’ve done is save money over the last three years—I might as well enjoy a little of it for a few days. I can always send for my things later.” Someone paced, probably Diego. “This isn’t personal, Xavier. I want you to know that. None of it is.”
“I understand.”
Not staying to hear any more, she slipped down the hallway to her bedroom again to ease her door closed. Her mind and emotions in upheaval, she paced around the confines of the bedroom. She wasn’t like Xavier, and her body couldn’t contain her restlessness without launching into motion.
Even though the bedroom was as tastefully decorated as the rest of the apartment, the lack of windows was beginning to get to her. She wanted fresh air and a walk by the ocean. Quiet though the apartment was, there was no peace in this place.
What she’d heard didn’t necessarily change anything, except that it did. She thought back over what she had said to Xavier earlier and laughed under her breath. It felt bitter and humorless.
A quiet rap sounded on her door. She said, “I’m busy.”
The door opened, and Xavier walked in.
He wore all black again, classic, simple slacks and a tailored shirt that emphasized the strong, elegant bone structure of his hands and face. He had tied his hair back neatly, and there was no trace anywhere of the wild, sensual creature who had made such emotional love to her. He looked as he so often did, composed and self-contained.
The sight of him made her a little crazy, when everything inside of her was in chaos.
She snapped, “I said I was busy.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I heard you perfectly well. I also heard you pacing just now, and I heard you earlier, when you walked down the hall and paused outside the living room.” He eyed her narrowly. “You overheard Diego and I talking, and now, for some reason, you are upset. Why?”
“Just because we had sex—once—doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to ignore my boundaries,” she told him furiously.
“My apologies. Of course, you are correct.” He said it so smoothly, too easily, his face a refined mask, as he leaned back against the closed door.
For the first time she hated his blasted composure, and she glared at him. “You’re trapping me in here on purpose. Don’t try to say you aren’t, so you can stop being so damned polite.”
He adjusted the cuff of one of his sleeves. “Politeness is the backbone of civilization. Besides, what else would you have me do? Until I know what you’re thinking, I have no way to respond.” Glancing up from the small task, he speared her with a sharp gaze. “Let me guess: you’ve figured out what I do, from what Diego and I were saying. Haven’t you?”
She threw out one hand in an uncontrolled gesture. After everything that had happened, she felt like she had come full circle,
back to the same place she had been the night of the Vampyre’s Ball. Nothing he did seemed out of place or unconsidered, and everything she did felt overdone, out of balance.
“It was rather hard to miss,” she said. “Unlike all the many clues I’ve seen over the last six weeks.”
“And this upsets you.” He cocked his head, studying her as if she were an alien.
Where was his warmth, the passion and emotional openness from earlier this morning? Had it all been an act?
She turned away from him, wrapped her arms around her middle and hunched her shoulders. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
His hands came down on her shoulders, and she jumped. He said in her ear, “Well, that is definitely a comprehensive range of reaction, I must admit.”
Her body reacted again to the sound of his voice, so close. She felt as if he had just passed a hand down her naked back, and she shivered.
His hands tightened. He said even more softly, “Will you not tell me what is going through your mind right now? I truly don’t have any clue.”
He sounded so patient and gentle, this centuries-old Vampyre who was once a priest.
Who played the piano, loved to waltz, read philosophy and quoted love poetry.
And ran a spy ring.
She closed her eyes. I’m nobody, she thought. I’m not even out of my twenties. I’ve never been anywhere interesting or done anything useful. I’m just a foster brat who got too greedy and cocky, and barely managed to make it out of a tricky situation alive.
“I’m trying to run away,” she whispered. “Inside my head.”
“You promised you wouldn’t. And I told you what would happen if you did.” He ran his lips lightly over the delicate shell of her ear, and she shivered. “I would come after you.”
What if she kept her eyes closed and let herself fall back, and trusted that he would catch her?
Tentatively, she leaned back into him.
His arms came around her, and he pulled her against his chest, holding her tightly. “Don’t stop talking,” he said, very low. “Show me where you are so I can find you.”
“I feel stupid,” she confessed. “I saw the clues, but I didn’t put any of them together.”
“Why would you? Why would any normal person put all of that together?” He kissed her temple. “Does it matter that much to you what I do?”
“Honestly, no, it doesn’t,” she told him.
He laughed a little, a quiet exhalation of breath. “Now I am completely in the dark again.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t say that right. Of course it matters what you do. In fact, I’m fascinated. But when I heard you talking and put it all together, the thing that shook me was—we made love. I made love to you.”
“I remember it all too well.” He laid his head on her shoulder as he cradled her. “I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind.”
She gripped his forearm. “In the moment, I truly felt like I knew what I was doing, and I wasn’t just being impetuous, but you know what? I was being impetuous, and I don’t really know you. That’s what I realized when I listened to you and Diego. And you were right, when you brought this up earlier—I’ve barely gotten over the fact that you’re a Vampyre. We’ve been acquainted for six weeks, and we’ve spent one night together, and . . .” The growing lump in her throat forced her into silence.
“Tess,” he whispered. He rubbed his face in her tousled hair. “I know it’s early days, and we have so much more to learn about each other. But it’s still okay to fall in love with me. I would be so honored if you did, and I would keep all of your emotions safe. I will never betray your trust. I swear it.”
She let her head fall against his shoulder, turned her face toward him and he bent her back and kissed her, and the thing of it was, she believed him.
She really believed him.
She said against his mouth, “It’s hard to let go and stay in one place.”
“I’ve never once seen you run when you’re afraid, and I’ve seen you very afraid.” His lips pulled into a smile. He kissed the tip of her nose. “You have such courage. It’s one of the things I admire most about you.”
Twisting around to face him fully, she slipped an arm around his neck and returned his kiss. Heat built between them, fast and urgent. She clenched her fists in the back of his shirt, so hungry again for him she shook all over.
Somehow, despite everything he’d been through and everything he did, he carried a light inside of himself that made her ravenous. When she wasn’t with him, the world felt darker and colder. It was impossible to imagine she could ever get enough of him, and that scared her more than anything.
He slanted his mouth over hers, his lips hardened and demanding. Shuddering, she kissed him back with everything she had. He slid one long-fingered hand into her hair, at the back of her head, holding her in place while he cupped and massaged her breast through the soft, thin material of the robe.
After several moments, he pulled back with obvious reluctance. “Much as I would love to take you back to bed and pick up where we left off, I promised to drive Diego into the city.”
With an immense effort, she tried to chain the crazy woman inside of her that urged her to ignore all common sense and tear off all his clothes. She pulled back enough to search his gaze. “Are you upset over him leaving?”
“I’m disappointed, but I’m not surprised.” He shook his head. “Life at the estate is a very small, specific world.”
“I love it there,” she said quietly.
His face lit with a smile. “I do too, but I also recognize that the lifestyle isn’t for everyone. As much as Melisande moans about the rat race in Los Angeles, she could never leave it.” His smile faded. “And I simply don’t have anything else to offer him. I offered to talk to Julian about finding Diego a position at Evenfall, but he’s determined to make a complete change.”
Straightening her spine, she made herself let go of his shirt. “Do you want me to stay here while you take him?”
“Hell, no,” he said forcefully. He rubbed his face and continued with more moderation. “I’m not leaving you alone in Evenfall, especially not when Justine is around.”
Her expression turned dry. “Well, I would have kept the apartment locked.”
“I don’t care. Locks aren’t good enough. You’re not staying.” He looked over his hand at her. “Come with me while I take Diego into town. We can stay at my town house for a day or two, and you can meet the rest of my attendants.”
Hesitating, she thought it over. As much as she did love the estate, she had spent all of her time there in fear of Malphas finding her. The thought of spending some time in the city did have appeal.
San Francisco might have its dangers, especially for someone who was penniless and on the run, but this time around, a visit should be quite different. Maybe she could even shop for some new clothes that would fit her properly.
Also, she might not know exactly where she and Xavier were headed, but if it turned out they were together for any length of time, it would be good to get acquainted with his people in the city.
“I’d like that,” she told him.
His expression lightened. “I’m glad. We have a couple of hours until sundown.” He added softly, “All I can think of is what I would like to do to you while we wait, but I’m afraid I have other things I need to attend to before we can leave.”
Her gaze fell to the opening of his shirt, and she gave him a slow smile. “Can’t they wait?”
While it wasn’t making love, his intake of breath was immensely satisfying. He growled, “I would love nothing more than to put them off, but I have to see if Gavin can edit the recording of Julian and Melisande on my phone.” He paused, and when he continued, he sounded very serious. “And I found out a few hours ago one of my operatives has gone missing.”
Her
playfulness vanished. “Oh God, I’m sorry. You must be worried.”
“I am.”
She wasn’t sure she should ask—she didn’t know what any of the boundaries were, in this new, unknown place they had come to—but she went ahead anyway. “Is it . . . anybody I know?”
His expression darkened. “I’m afraid so. It’s Marc.”
Shock rippled through her. She hadn’t expected him to answer her so readily, or that she would actually know the person involved. “But he just left.”
“I know.” He moved suddenly, a sharp, quick movement he stilled almost at once, but it was another telling slip and indicated the strength of his worry.
A powerful urge gripped her. She wanted to help him so badly, she ached with it, but there was nothing she could do.
Except for one thing. She could support him.
She stepped away from him. “Go. Do what you need to do.”
Still, he lingered, and the tender expression in his eyes as he looked at her was worth everything she had gone through over the last two months. “What about you?”
“I might nap. I’m definitely going to take a proper shower, and eat the snack Diego left for me.” She smiled. “And I’ll miss you.”
He took one of her hands, lifted and turned it, and pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist.
What a difference six weeks made. The first time he had made such a gesture, she had been frozen with fear. Now, warmth suffused her.
“Until later,” he said against her skin.
Touching his temple, she stroked his hair.
He straightened, and after another final, hard kiss, he left.
Without the intensity of his presence, the room felt cold and empty, and her feet were freezing. Slipping on her shoes, she explored quickly. Xavier had already left, and the rest of the apartment was silent and empty. The door to Diego’s room was closed.
She stared at it thoughtfully, tempted to knock and ask how he was doing, but although they had shared a few conversations, they weren’t close, and she wasn’t a confidant of his.
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