Choose Me

by Heidi McLaughlin

  Sitting up, I look around at the peaceful valley surrounding us. We’re higher than some trees and I’m trying not to let that freak me out. I shift slightly and look at him, realizing this is now or never and it really has to be now.

  “Evan, will you marry me?”

  “What?” he asks choking on his word.

  “I love you and we’ve spent far too many years apart. Six years ago we were supposed to get married and couldn’t, but we can now and I want to be your wife. I want to have your babies and grow old with you on our front porch.”

  The ride jerks and we’re moving again. Evan is staring at me with bewilderment in his eyes but hasn’t given me an answer. We stop and it’s our turn to get off. My heart falls because I thought I had this in the bag. Maybe after being home he’s realized that we’re just perfect the way we are.

  “Hey buddy,” Evan says to the operator. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you put us back up top for the next few minutes.” The guy doesn’t hesitate and slams our bar down, starting the ride again and stopping us when we get to the top.

  “Ask me again,” he says, cupping my cheek.

  I swallow hard. “Will you marry me?”

  “A million times over.” He kisses me deeply, cradling my face in his hands as our tongues explore and meld together. My hands clutch at his shirt, pulling him as close to me as I can.

  When he pulls away, we’re back at the bottom and getting off.

  “Thanks, man,” Evan says as he hands him the money. “Best thing ever.”

  “Yeah, I hear that a lot,” the guy laughs, pocketing the cash.

  “Nah, my girl just asked me to marry her and she ain’t even knocked up.”

  I roll my eyes and slap him in the chest, but he just laughs. Someone yells out that they’ll marry him because they are knocked up. I grab his hand and pull him out of the crowd and toward the exit before anyone can try to steal my man.

  “Why are we leaving? I want to win you one of those giant stuffed animals.”

  I shake my head, biting my lower lip. “I just wanted to stop and ride the Ferris wheel so I could ask you to marry me.”

  “I should’ve asked you by now.”

  “No,” I say stepping to him. “It was meant to be this way.”

  We walk hand-in-hand back to the car, stopping every few steps so he can kiss me. He tells me that as soon as we’re moved in, he’s placing a ring on my finger. I’m not worried about a ring. I just want to be his wife.

  “When do you want to get married?” he asks as he shuts the car door. He’s going to drive us to a hotel because there’s no way we can have sex in the car and we have to have sex… now… according to him.

  “When my mom can walk down the aisle holding only your brother’s arm.”

  “Next summer?”

  I nod. “In Coronado,” I say, much to his surprise. “I want to marry you on our beach.”

  Evan smiles and presses his lips to mine. “You and me on the beach surrounded by our friends and family, sounds just about perfect.”

  “You make everything perfect, Evan.”

  He does, at least for me. Meeting this man when I was seventeen was a dream come true and with everything that we’ve been through, marrying him is like starting a new chapter…

  One that I can’t wait to write.

  Read Evan’s Letter to Ryley

  Other books by Heidi McLaughlin

  Babe,

  I thought about starting this out with something corny like “My Dearest Ryley,” but that didn’t seem fitting. I love to call you “Babe” and figured if you’re reading this, it’s because I’m not around to call you that anymore.

  You tried to break up with me tonight because you didn’t want me to feel like I was being held back. I’m hoping that someday I’ll be able to tell you how I feel, in words that will make sense to both of us. Right now, all I can say is that you push me forward. You make me want to be the man you deserve in the future. I say future because you and I will be together, but in the event that we’re not I want you to promise me something: I want you to find a man who will take care of you, who will treat you like the princess that you are. I want you to be with a man who puts you first because regardless of my job, you’ll always be my #1. Nate will be there to protect you from any asshole who thinks he’s worthy.

  Ryley, I’m making a promise to always come home to you whether I’m battered and bruised, or knocking on your door because I have 24’s of leave. It’s not going to matter because a lifetime with you is never going to be enough. I know those aren’t my words, but words I learned from you and one of the many movies you made me watch but I still mean every one of them.

  You’re the love of my life, Ryley... never forget that.

  Evan

  Evan’s Mixed CD for Ryley

  Evan’s Mixed CD for Ryley

  98 Degress – I Do Cherish You

  N’Sync – I Want You Back

  Silk – Freak Me

  Babyface – Every Time I Close My Eyes

  Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way

  Guns n’ Roses – November Rain

  Michael Bolton – When A Man Loves A Woman

  Bon Jovi – Always

  Savage Garden – I knew I Loved You

  Trish Yearwood – How Do I Live

  Skid Row – I Remember You

  Maxi Priest – Close To You

  Brian McKnight – Back At One

  K-CI & Jo-Jo – All My Life

  Sarah Mclachlan – Ice Cream

  The Pretenders – I’ll Stand By You

  Luther Vandross – Here and Now

  Shania Twain – From This Moment On

  Lonestar – Amazed

  Boys II Men – I’ll Make Love To You

  Bryan Adams – Everything I Do

  Tucker McCoy

  My name is Tucker McCoy

  Six years ago I went on a mission

  And when I returned

  My Family was gone

  Now that the truth is out there I need to find my wife and daughter

  In hopes that they can SAVE ME

  The next novel in the Archer Brothers

  Coming Soon

  Learn about the Archers

  A note about The Archer Brothers from the Beta reader (and BFF)…

  About a year ago, I asked Heidi if she would write me a story. I use the word “asked” lightly because in reality I probably bugged her about it for quite some time. Eventually she agreed but with one proviso – that I give her the characters and a cast list.

  Mission accepted, I thought to myself, and about a day later, I sent her a character breakdown with a wish list of what I’d like to see in a story. I had no concerns that Heidi wouldn’t be able to deliver – we’ve all seen her work and what she is capable of - but I did think she’d come back to me with a “WHAT THE HELL?!”

  The three main characters were called Nate Archer, Evan Archer and Ryley Clarke. Nate and Evan were twins. Ryley was their love interest. Oh, and they had a dog called Deefur (Dee for Dog - geddit?) You all know what followed.

  In Here With Me, Heidi far surpassed my expectations. She gave me what I asked for and multiplied it by a thousand. She gave me two main characters that my heart ached for, that I that I sympathised with, that I wanted to cry with and hug and mourn. She gave me a third character – a missing character of sorts – which I wanted to know more about, who I wanted to hear from.

  She gave me a story that I fell in love with.

  After Here With Me was published, I went back to Heidi and said to her “You know, that’s great and all, but hey, I want to know what happened here and here and here” and literally sent her an email with about 15 different points. Not gonna lie, I thought she would defriend me right there and then with another “WHAT THE HELL?!”

  But she didn’t. Instead, she answered every single point, and gave me much more on top. She wrote Choose Me.

  She gave me such complex storylines that absolu
tely and completely blew me away. Things that I couldn’t even think of in my wildest dreams. Things that literally had me saying to her “What the Hell?”. Heidi completely and utterly astounded me with her brilliance with each chapter she sent me. One, in particular, just had a LOT of comments from me and I was literally swooning in each comment I left. That chapter was Chapter 9, and I’m sure you can understand why.

  The original brief was “Please can you write me a story about twins who love the same girl but that girl is feisty and sassy and isn’t weak”.

  She gave me Ryley Clarke - a fighter through and through. She IS sassy, she IS feisty and she’s made the best of the shitty hand she was dealt.

  She gave me Evan Archer - a warrior. He loves his girl and his girl is Ryley. He’s spontaneous and outgoing. He loves his country and he fights to protect it. He’s loyal and what you see is what you get with him.

  She gave me Nate Archer - he’s the protector. He loves his brother and he loves Ryley. He made a promise to his brother and he followed that through. He quiet and reserved and he’s the thinker, but like his brother he is also loyal. Family is important to him and he’ll do anything he can to protect them.

  I’ve previously said that all you Team Evan lovers should prepare yourself for Nate and having read this story, I hope you can see that I was not lying. I thought I was Team Evan, and then I thought I was Team Nate but I can honestly say that I am Team Archer through and through.

  Heidi - you gave me all of the above and so much more and all I can say is you took my challenge, you ran with it, you gave it life, you gave it soul and you gave me a whole load of feels with it. So thank you. And thank you for writing the story of the Archer Brothers and sharing it with your readers.

  Now, about that deal we had when you send me daily Nate and Evan updates - we still on for that, right...?

  Read the Acknowledgements

  If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a team to write a novel – at least it did for Choose Me. My team is beyond amazing and I really couldn’t ask for a better support system to be involved in this novel. Writing about the military, as a civilian, is hard, especially when you’re dealing with the emotional aspects of deployment, coming home and the like. Writing the Archer Brothers was an emotional journey that I’m very happy I took. The stories I’ve heard, and have yet to hear, have and will change my life forever.

  Yvette: I want to thank you for being the most understanding, loyal and supportive friend I have ever had. I love that we’ve been on this journey together for years and we’re not willing to slow down.

  Traci: Who knew we’d come this far? I’m so happy that you’re on my team, in my life and that I can call you my friend.

  Amy & Dan: Wow ß that pretty much sums up my thoughts. You guys have not only opened your door to me, but your life, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.

  Art: You are someone I never want to play trivia against, but would gladly be on your team any day. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the countless hours and useful information that you’ve provided for my novels. I’m forever in your debt.

  Audrey, Georgette, Kelli, Tammy, Tammy & Veronica: You ladies sure do know how to make everything right in my world. I really can’t ask for a better group of girls to spend my time with.

  The Beaumont Daily: You guys rock!

  To my family: I know the hours are long, but I do it for you!

  And finally to the readers: How you keep up with all the amazing novels being published I’ll never know, but you do it, and you do it proudly. If you’re reading this, take a moment, smile and pat yourself on the back because you, my friend, are a superwoman… or superman!

  Read a Preview of Fighting for Love by L.P. Dover

  Fighting for Love by L.P. Dover

  Ten Years Ago

  I lost everything today.

  My hope.

  My faith.

  My heart.

  All that I had done to protect him didn’t mean a single thing now. I left to give him a better life, a chance for him to follow his dreams just like we’d always talked about. Except in doing that, and leaving him in the dark, I condemned myself to a fate worse than I could have ever imagined. It had only been three months since I’d left him, but it felt like it had been a hundred long, agonizing years.

  I needed him and I needed him now, to feel his arms wrapped around me—holding me tight—and telling me everything would be okay. It’s not going to be okay. Especially, when the look on the doctor’s face went from hopeful to an outright mask of uncertainty when I told her what was going on. She examined me thoroughly and I gritted my teeth through the pain, trying my hardest to stay positive and calm, but it was no use. The only link I had to the one person I’d given everything up for slowly slipped away from me as each minute passed.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I envisioned in my mind that I was back at home getting ready to have the summer of my life before I left for college. It was supposed to be perfect, just me and Matt enjoying our time by the ocean and being what we were … teenagers. Things weren’t supposed to happen like this.

  The ever deafening silence in the room made me want to scream. My eyes burned like fire, scorching me from the inside out as I tried to hold back the tears. Was I stupid for still wanting to hold onto hope? That maybe there was still a chance.

  This can’t be happening to me. It’s all just a bad dream. It has to be a bad dream.

  Shaking my head quickly, I finally opened my eyes only to be blinded by the fluorescent lights of the examination room. The table felt like a boulder against my back, but I lay there, numb to everyone and to everything around me, silently letting the tears fall. I had to brace myself for what was to come.

  Jace and Lexi, who were my two closest friends at Berkeley, both squeezed my hands, bringing me back to reality. Lexi, in her Hello Kitty pajamas and her blonde hair in a messy ponytail, tried to stay strong for me, but I could tell she was barely hanging on by a thread. Jace was a different story. He was literally the strong one out of the trio both—literally and physically—however, even the strongest ones broke at times. I could see it in his melancholy, crystal blue gaze that he was also trying his hardest to stay strong.

  It all happened when we were studying together in my apartment, eating pizza like we always did for the past few Wednesday nights, when something went terribly wrong. I’d had a few issues before, but everything came back normal after the tests, so I thought I was in the clear. I didn’t understand why it was happening again.

  Jace and Lexi rushed me to the emergency room as fast as they could, hoping that I’d be okay like I was before. This time was different, though; I could feel it in my blood and I could sense the spark of life dying inside of me as each second passed. A person knows when something is wrong, and I knew something was terribly wrong.

  I was so angry with myself that I couldn’t even look at my friends without feeling ashamed of how weak I was. I did everything right, and everything I was supposed to do to keep myself healthy and strong. What more could I do?

  Lips trembling, I bit down hard, not even caring about the pain or the metallic taste of blood on my tongue, and turned my head away. Jace brushed the tears off my cheeks with the pad of his thumbs, but as soon as he did, more fell in their place. It was hopeless.

  Putting his forehead to mine, while his other arm wrapped gently around my shoulder, he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “We’re here for you, Shels. I texted your mother and she said she’ll be down here soon. You’re not alone, okay? I’ll stay in here with you if you want me to.”

  “Same here,” Lexi agreed, putting her arm around me as well. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

  Swallowing hard, I nodded quickly, and squeezed my eyes shut. “Thank you,” I whispered hoarsely, trying to hold onto their warmth. I was cold, my body trembling and teeth chattering as I tried to take in a deep breath.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dr. Jacobs place her stethoscope o
n the desk before hesitantly turning toward me with sorrow-filled eyes. “What did I do wrong?” I asked her. Hearing the sound of my voice, I could barely recognize the strangled cry that left my lips. I was heartbroken, and I felt … empty. I guess it was because I was.

  She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, approaching me slowly. Her strawberry blonde hair was smoothed back in a tight bun, and even with her glasses on it still didn’t hide the turmoil in her midnight blue eyes.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart,” she answered soothingly, placing her hand gently on my arm. Her lips quivered when she tried to reassure me with a smile, but it only added to the grief. “Sometimes it just happens and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. It doesn’t mean that it will always happen like this. You’re young and healthy. One of these days, when the time is right, it will happen again. I’ve been through it, too, so I know the pain you must be feeling. The last thing you need to do is blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

  I nodded quickly, but nothing was going to take away the pain of my loss … of both of my losses. Was it karma rearing its ugly head and taunting me for making the wrong decisions in life? Could it honestly be that cruel to make me pay with such a high price? The desolation and despair I felt in my chest was like a blunt-edged knife burrowing deep into my soul, ripping me from the inside out. I honestly felt like I would die from the torment because it was so overpowering; it was as if the shadow surrounding me sucked away every ounce of happiness I had ever felt.

  How can I go back to the way things were?

  The answer was simple … I couldn’t.