The shop was huge on the inside and in a constant state of motion. Children and their knights or servants were bustling about, astounded by all the toys. There were toy knights in an arena battling each other and little spectators cheering them on. Balanced atop a tall stick was a jester on a ball, juggling knives, and beneath him were miniature lions trying to claw at him. Then there were baby dolls that acted like real babies, one actually peeing itself on the shelf. Anna found it hard to look for a gift and not become distracted by all the magical sights. Moseying about, Anna finally came across something she was sure Bart was going to like. It was a bucket connected to the ocean, so that whenever tipped over it would spill out water infinitely. Anna was thrilled at the discovery, immediately purchasing the toy and the lid that came with it.
Stepping back into her carriage, Anna said to Bill, “Bill, why don’t you go in and get something for you daughter? I’ll be able to pay for it.”
“No, Princess. I could never spend your money.”
“Oh, but it won’t be my money. Consider it a yuletide bonus, from me to you.”
“Princess, I don’t know…”
“Hurry up and do it before I rust away,” Anna’s knight said, pushing Bill into the store.
A few minutes later, the chauffeur came back out carrying one of the dolls Anna had seen. Tucking it away inside his coat, Bill got the horses ready, and off they went to the next shop for Shel’s present. It was a brews-slash-apothecary shop that specialized in all sort of things, its fitting name being Poisoned Goblet. Once inside, Anna didn’t have to look around, for she had already ordered her friend’s present. She walked up to the counter, making sure to avoid all the delicate-looking vials lying about, and greeted the owner, an old man with bloodshot eyes and stumbling gait who looked as though he had been sampling too many of his own products.
“Hello, Princess. I have your order right here,” he said, pulling out a small bottle of black liquid.
“Thank you, sir, and here is your money,” Anna said, handing him a bag of gold coins.
That settled, Anna went outside and got inside her carriage. Now that she had her presents, Anna had to go to the first of many parties, this one hosted by a Lord Pumpernickel. He was your typical noble, handsome and well-groomed, but a little pompous for her tastes. It was to be held at noon until well into the evening, but Anna wouldn’t be able to be there long since she had other places to be. Bill drove her there, and she was soon stepping out of her carriage and walking through the gates of Pumpernickel’s home. There were plenty of other nobles here, all of varying statuses, each wearing brand-new dresses and suits, their protection from the cold shed at the door in favor of the roaring fire in the lounge. Anna, of course, was treated as the guest of honor, everyone greeting her in hopes of gaining her favor. It being a party, everyone’s knights were standing to the side so that they wouldn’t get in the way, except for Anna’s, who stuck by her side. While she was nibbling on hors d’oeuvres, Anna’s host came over and introduced himself.
“Hello, my dear princess. It is a pleasure to finally meet you,” Lord Pumpernickel said with a tooth-filled smile.
“The pleasure is all mine.” Anna held out her hand for him to kiss.
“So, this is your knight, eh? I’ve heard so much about him, like how he’s never used his weapons. He only needs to intimidate his foes, and they run away in fear.”
“I wouldn’t say he’s that great.”
“Oh, but I would. Just look at his audacity, standing by your side when all the other knights wait by the wayside, as if he were an equal.”
“I don’t think you should talk about him like that,” Anna said.
“Ah, another novel thing about him. He actually can think for himself. Say, can we get a demonstration? Everyone, look here! The princess’s knight is about to put on a show for us,” Pumpernickel said, getting everyone’s attention.
Anna was worried her knight might do something extreme, but he simply stood there, not saying a word. A little disappointed, the host then got a smile on his face as he came up with an idea to get a reaction. Grabbing a drink from a nearby waiter, he raised it high above his head and poured it onto her knight’s mantle. Anna was certain the knight would do something at this, but again, he just stood there and took it. Embarrassed at having nothing happen, the lord came up with another idea, one he was sure would work.
“I see. This knight, in the end, is just like all other knights. He won’t lift a finger unless his mistress says so. While I admit I’m a little disappointed, I can’t say I’m surprised. Princess, please tell your knight to do something, anything, to amuse us.”
“Oh, um…knight, uh…do something to amuse them…and me as well.”
Her knight looked at her, nodded, then pulled back his leg and kicked forward—right into Pumpernickel’s nether regions. The lord went cross-eyed and fell flat on his face, while his knight rushed over to check on him.
“Hey, we should probably get going,” Anna’s knight said.
“But—”
“Quickly, I think I might have ruptured his beanbag. Let’s go.”
Grabbing her arm, Anna’s knight led her out of the room and to the exit, making sure to get her things before leaving. He rushed her to her carriage and helped her inside, also putting Bill into his seat. The chauffeur didn’t know what was going on, but he did know that Lord Pumpernickel’s knight running toward them indicated that they should leave.
Moving down the road away from the party, Bill drove at high speed, hoping to get away from the irate knight. Unfortunately, since Anna’s knight could keep up, that meant that this one could as well. Thankfully, he only seemed to be after her knight. So when he did manage to catch up, the enemy knight tackled him and brought them both to the ground. Bill stopped the carriage and turned it around so they could see the fight unfold. Both knights got up, and while the other one drew his sword, Anna’s knight just raised his hands in a sign of peace.
“Come on…so I might have crushed a testicle or two. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
The other knight ignored him and ran straight, sword high above his head. He brought it crashing down onto her own knight, who managed to catch it between his hands and stop it midair. Her knight swept his opponent’s legs out from under him with a well-aimed kick. While the other knight was on the ground, her knight grabbed one of his legs and pulled on it until it popped off. Then he threw it far down the road into someone’s yard.
“All right, go, go, go now, please!” Anna’s knight screamed as he caught up and ran alongside the carriage.
Cracking his whip, Bill had them going soon enough, and eventually they were out of sight of the one-legged knight. Anna gave a sigh of relief and settled into her seat, moving closer to the window so she could berate her knight.
“You idiot, what do you think you were doing back there?”
“Well, he wanted me to do something, and you told me to do it.”
“I didn’t tell you to kick down there, you oaf.”
“Hey, you’re the ones who put me on the spot. I got nervous and panicked.”
“Whatever. I didn’t want to be at that party any longer anyhow. I saw Lord Pumpernickel getting a little handsy with one of the waitresses.”
Looking back at them, Bill asked, “So where do you want to go now, Princess?”
“I don’t know. It probably wouldn’t be prudent of us to go to any more parties today. Ooh, I know. How about we go see your wife and daughter? They live just outside the noble circle, don’t they?” Anna thought it would be nice to be around an actual family during the holidays.
Bill lived in what would be called the servant’s quarters of the city. To the west was the new noble circle, to the east was the old circle with all the shopping districts. Also to the east were the slums, haphazardly built up on the outside of the wall like a tower of cards. To the north,
in a little community, was where all the servants lived. Nobles didn’t want them in their homes all the time, so instead they’d had this place constructed to keep the lower class away when they weren’t necessary.
This was rough on the servants, because they had to walk all the way to their master’s homes. They also had to get up very early to get everything ready for the nobles. Not to mention they had to stay late and help out with various things. All the while, the servants only ended up getting six or seven hours of sleep a night. With little free time, unless given some by their masters, they pretty much worked all day, every day.
Anna was famous for giving time off to servants. If one of them was pregnant or had just had a baby, she’d give them leave. Sickness and injury were also reasons they were able to leave and rest at home. There were also many other smaller events like birthdays and holidays. She knew that her family and fellow nobles were talking about her behind her back for this. Anna really didn’t care, though, thinking it was best to be on good terms with the people who made your food.
“Princess, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Please? Pretty please? I really want to meet your family,” Anna said with big, sad eyes.
“Oh, all right. But if we get caught, you owe me.”
“Deal,” she said, happy to comply.
Bill took a left turn and headed toward where his family lived. It wasn’t a horrible place to live, but it was nowhere near up to the standard Anna had. Finally, they stopped in front of what looked to be an apartment of some sorts. Bill got down from the carriage, taking them inside and up the stairs to where his family was. He knocked a few times, and they could hear voices from inside. The door opened up. A kindly, middle-aged woman with graying hair greeted them. Hiding behind her was their daughter, a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl who was about Anna’s age, only a little less clean.
“Honey, what are you doing back here? I thought you had to work on the holidays.”
“Actually, I’m here on business. The princess wanted to meet you two,” Bill said, stepping aside so they could see each other.
“T-the princess? Oh, Your Highness, I’m honored to be graced with your presence,” she said, as she and the daughter both bowed.
“No, no, it’s fine. You don’t have to do any of those formalities, Mrs….?”
“My name is Rochelle, and this is my daughter, Lizzie. It is a pleasure to meet you. Why are you here, may I ask?”
“I just wanted to give you the good news in person,” Anna said to two puzzled faces. “Bill here will be receiving a very high pay raise from today onward.”
Looking to her husband, Rochelle said, “Really?”
Smiling, Bill said, “Four times as much as I’m getting now, dear.”
His wife gasped and pulled him and their daughter into a big family hug that made Anna a little envious. Pulling away, Rochelle invited them in, offering them some tea and cookies she had just made. While Anna sat down, Bill pulled out the doll he had gotten for his daughter and presented it to her. Lizzie was beyond thrilled and was jumping for joy, especially after her father told her that the princess had paid for it. Anna and her knight stayed for a better part of the afternoon until it was getting late into the evening and they finally had to go home.
Getting back into the carriage, they left for the castle and reached it just as the moon was beginning to rise in the sky. Bill was thanking her profusely as Anna went inside and made for her bedroom. Inside the comfort of her room again, Anna changed into her nightgown after a nice hot bath. Curling back into a ball, she pulled the covers up over her head again and fell fast asleep.
Chapter 9
Anna was rather bored after an hour of opening presents. Her entire family and many nobles besides had given the princess great, expensive gifts, and they were all exactly like what she’d gotten last year. Fancy dresses, shiny jewelry, tasty treats from across the globe, all just more junk to replace last year’s junk. Not like she could talk, being just as guilty as everyone else for buying superficial gifts. However, Anna was hoping to change that with her two friends, having bought them gifts she knew they would really enjoy. After she was done opening presents, Anna had her servants stow them away and clean up the mess of wrappers. Getting dressed, she grabbed her two presents and went to go meet up at Shel’s place. As Anna and her knight were exiting the door, she held up a finger for him to wait and went back to get two more special presents.
“What did you forget?” her knight asked, suspicious of his princess.
“Oh, nothing you need to worry about,” she teased.
Walking through the castle, they made it to Bill, who was waiting with the carriage. It was slow progress going to Shel’s house, being that the roads were icy, but Anna enjoyed the scenery like always. Finally, they were at Shel’s door and knocking politely. Their host opened it and said hello. Following Shel up to her room, they saw that Bart had already arrived, and with minimal injuries sustained.
Sitting down at their usual table, Anna started them off saying, “Merry yuletide to you both. Are you ready for the best presents of your life?”
Bart chuckled and said, “If by best presents you mean my gifts to you girls, then you are correct.”
“I can’t wait to see what a mutt like you thought was appropriate for two girls,” Shel said, putting her presents on the table.
“Ooh, ooh, I’ll go first. I think you two will really appreciate the thought and effort I put into mine.” Bart handed the girls their presents.
Anna opened hers, and when she saw it, said, “They’re…”
“Breast pads! I know what you’re thinking. ‘How did he know we were self-conscious about our flat chests?’ Well, anyone could tell just by looking at you and seeing the jealous rage in your eyes every time a girl with big boobs walked past you.”
Anna smiled as she pulled the lid off of Bart’s gift and slammed it onto his head. After a few seconds of drowning, he managed to pull it off of his head and get it right side up. Before he could collect himself, though, Shel pulled out her gift. It was a box of dog biscuits, and not the good kind. At least they were labeled as gluten-free, if it mattered to Bart.
Shel said, “So, you dog, what do you think of my present?”
“It’s kind of cheap.” He received a foot to the face.
“What was that?” Shel growled.
“The wrong thing to say. What I meant to say was, ruff ruff.”
“You two, always fooling around. Now, Shel, why don’t you open my present?” Anna said handing over her gift.
Opening it, Shel discovered the bottle of black liquid and said, “What exactly is this stuff?”
“Well, it’s sort of like a better version of Bart’s gift. This liquid will work with your medicine to help your body grow at a normal rate.”
“Really? That’s…actually a really good thing to give me. Thank you.” Shel had a look on her face that suggested she was feeling a confliction of emotions.
Through a mouthful of dog biscuits, Bart muttered, “Whatever, my gift was just as thoughtful.”
Shel stood up and said, “Come along, Anna. Why don’t we go see the shopping district parade before you go to whatever party it is you must attend? I’m not good at giving presents, so I didn’t get you anything, but let’s just say I owe you one.”
“Yeah, I have to go to a party with my brother and sister that my father is having. Urgh, it’s going to be so awkward with them there. It’s really just to show that he actually knows we exist.”
“I’m surprised he hasn’t found a new wife yet, since your mother died,” Bart said from below.
“He probably just thinks that the new wife and her kids would be killed by one of his other children,” Shel said.
Anna sighed. “I hate to think of them like that, but you’re probably right.”
“Wel
l, this just got really dark,” her knight said with a clap of his hands. “Why don’t we go to that parade and cheer up a bit, huh?”
Before they could get back into a funk, Anna’s knight was pushing them out of the door and down to Anna’s carriage, which they all would be taking. Still, the thought of her family’s struggle for dominance hung in the air like a dark cloud. Her knight cocked his head as if in deep thought and asked Anna and the others a question that cheered them up.
“Hey, speaking of your mother, Anna, why don’t you tell us a little bit about her? Since none of us have ever really met her.”
Twirling a strand of her mother’s hair, Anna thought back to before she had died three years ago. “I guess that, physically, she looked like me, only better. She had a pretty, exotic face, with fascinating eyes that always hid a smile. I’m guessing my sister got her good looks from her, and I got what was left over. As children, we were always spoiled rotten by everyone around us except her. She had come from a kingdom that was less well off than ours. The only reason my father married her was so he could assimilate her country into ours. But because of that, she was kind and generous to everyone she met, and I’m glad to say that I didn’t turn out as horrible as I could have because she took a special interest in me.”
“She didn’t have servants or knights growing up. How did she feel about them?” her knight said, eager for the answer.
“She was very fond of them, and they loved her for it. She was the one who taught me to see my servant as a person, not another possession.”
Bart asked, “If she was so good, how did your sister turn out so…blah?”
“My sister isn’t as bad as she wants you to think. When we were very little, before we were really introduced to the public, we used to be the best of friends. I guess she’s just a lot more worried about what other people, especially our family, think of her now.”
“It’s foolishness to care what others think of you, especially your family. If I believed what my mother told me, I’d have given up on my life a long time ago. If you can’t tell, I’m not the most ideal daughter physically or mentally,” Shel said, folding her arms.
A Knight of Contradictions Page 7