by Rob Stevens
‘I did discover that rubber with a bond-length of eighty picometres was the perfect consistency for the mask-gun,’ Klaus insisted sulkily.
Tension patted Klaus’s hand. ‘Like I said, Klausy you played a small part.’
Klaus ground his teeth and stifled a small growl. Archie deduced that Von Grosskopf was probably well used to biting his tongue and suppressing his feelings around Tension.
Archie edged his hand across the floor a few more centimetres. The feeling was returning to his legs, tingling up his shins, and he would soon have to make his move.
‘So your brother is posing as the PM?’ said Archie, still trying to give himself longer to recover.
‘It’s his twin brother Kurt,’ Tension explained. ‘They’re not identical though. Kurt is much shorter and he doesn’t have Klausy’s good looks.’
Archie glanced at the professor’s Neanderthal features and grimaced. ‘Poor old Kurt,’ he muttered.
‘I’ve got his nose,’ Klaus announced eagerly.
‘That’s nice.’
‘And his ears and one of his eyes,’ Klaus added. ‘I keep them in ajar by my bed.’
‘Klaus cut them off with a penknife when they were kids,’ Tension added quickly – as though this extra information cast Klaus’s souvenirs in a better light. ‘He and his brother were playing doctors – or craniofacial plastic surgeons, to be precise. Boys will be boys!’
‘I keep my brother’s features next to my bed to remind me of the fun we used to have together.’
‘He’s very attached to them,’ said Tension.
Archie snorted. ‘Unlike his brother.’
‘Now I’m tired of talking,’ Tension barked angrily. ‘It’s time to get rid of these nuisances so we can concentrate on destroying the world. Klaus, be a sweetie would you, and kill them.’
‘Wait!’ Archie protested, desperate for a few more seconds of recuperation. Klaus paused expectantly. Archie racked his brains for a reason to have interrupted the proceedings but his mind was blank. ‘You’ll never get away with this!’
Not exactly original, Archie thought. But better than nothing.
‘But we already have, my love,’ Tension bragged.
Archie knew his time was up. With a gargantuan effort he slid his hand across the floor and grabbed the object he’d had his eye on – the magno-pen Tension had tossed away earlier – and cupped his hand over it. All he had to do was distract the two villains long enough to arm the pen and charge it up for ten seconds. Then he would let them have it.
‘How long do you think you can survive underwater?’ Archie asked, trying to twist the pen’s barrel with his thumb.
‘As long as it takes,’ Tension whispered. ‘When the nuclear radiation clears we will surface and reveal the despicable trick we have played on the world. We will be known far and wide as the two most odious and attractive criminal masterminds the world has ever known.’
‘Attractive?’ Archie sneered. ‘With that metal mouth?’
‘Come, come, Archie, don’t be cruel,’ Tension coaxed. ‘Klaus’s braces are just a temporary measure to correct a rather pronounced overbite.’
‘Er . . . I wasn’t talking about Klaus!’ Archie laughed. ‘It’s you who looks like the bride of Frankenstein.’
Urgently Tension strode to the nearest glass screen and peered curiously at her reflection. Slowly her steel jaw fell open and her hand went up to her cheek.
‘My face,’ she gasped in disbelief, patting her chin as if to confirm what her eyes were telling her. Then her embarrassment curdled into fury and spewed out in an ear-splitting wail directed at Von Grosskopf. ‘MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! Why didn’t you tell me? You know I never appear in public without my face on! I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life!’
As Evelyn Tension railed at the dumbfounded professor, Archie managed to twist the magno-pen’s barrel. With all the concentration he could muster he willed his muscles to lift his arm, jabbing the pen against his thigh to extend the ballpoint, and aimed it at the two villains.
As soon as the pen had charged up he would let them have it.
‘Ten . . .’ he whispered to himself. ‘Nine . . . eight . . .’
‘Seven . . . six . . . five . . .’
Evelyn Tension shrieked furiously at Klaus. ‘How would you like it if I let you strut around with food on your face, or your flies open?’
Von Grosskopf shrugged his mighty shoulders like a sullen teenager. ‘I wouldn’t be bothered.’
‘Four . . . three . . .’
‘I wouldn’t be bothered,’ Tension mimicked. ‘Well, we’ll see about that. Just you wait!’
Archie could feel his pulse racing, his palms sweating. ‘Two . . . one . . .’
‘Why are you shouting at me anyway?’ complained the professor. ‘The kid must have been the one who pulled your mask off.’
Evelyn Tension turned to look at Archie with an expression of dawning realisation – as if she had completely forgotten that he was in the room.
‘Zero,’ Archie whispered. ‘Now I just point and shoot.’
‘YOU!’ Tension hissed, her normal eye narrowing accusingly. ‘You’ll pay for this. Nobody humiliates Evelyn Tension and lives to tell the tale.’
‘Is that so?’ Archie replied casually tilting the pen so that it was aimed directly at the two villains. ‘I’m afraid you might be in for a bit of a shock.’ With a small movement of his thumb he fired the magno-pen.
Archie waited for the electromagnetic pulse to flatten his enemies – but nothing happened.
He clicked the pen again, but still nothing.
‘I was going to kill you anyway,’ Tension bragged. ‘But now I’m going to take extra pleasure in watching you suffer.’
As the crazed assassin stalked closer to Archie he felt his hopes wither. He should have known better than to rely on one of Holden Grey’s gadgets, he thought ruefully. Looking dejectedly at the pen in his hand, he clicked it one more time.
Again the pen didn’t unleash its immobilising electric charge, but Archie finally understood precisely why.
His thumb hadn’t moved.
Obviously his nerve endings were still confused by Tension’s death grip. Somehow the signal from his brain to his hand must have been diverted or scrambled or something. And even though his brain had received a return signal telling it that its command had been carried out, Archie’s thumb was as limp as a raw sausage.
Which meant that maybe, just maybe, the magno-pen wasn’t useless after all. Archie felt a surge of hope . . . then Evelyn Tension bent over him and plucked the pen from his hand.
‘Well, well, well,’ Tension marvelled, examining the slender case pinched between her thumb and forefinger. ‘What do we have here? If I’m not very much mistaken, it’s an MI6 magno-pen.’ She twisted the pen’s barrel, disarming the device. ‘How very quaint! Not only does the Secret Service send a bunch of children to stop me destroying the world but they send you armed with a gadget straight out of 1967.’ Tension giggled with amusement, flipping the pen in her hand as she crossed the Command Room towards the acid moat. ‘I didn’t realise what this was when I took it from you earlier,’ she said, turning to face Archie again.
‘Be careful,’ he warned. ‘It’s not a toy.’
‘Oh, be quiet!’ Tension shrieked, jabbing the pen in Archie’s direction. ‘I was a secret agent for twenty years. I was using gadgets in the field before you were even born.’
Slumped against the periscope, Archie wondered if he could use Evelyn Tension’s fiery indignation against her. ‘That was a long time ago,’ he said patronisingly. ‘You haven’t been an active field agent for years. It’s amazing how quickly you forget your training when you’re out of practice.’
‘I can promise you I’ve never been sharper.’
‘Maybe so,’ Archie replied reasonably. ‘But I would still prefer you not to mess around with the magno-pen. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.’
‘Oh please! The magno-
pen was the simplest weapon in the MI6 arsenal.’ Tension threw her thick red hair back and cackled. ‘Twist-click-click – simple! When this thing knocks you out I’ll get Klaus here to dunk you in the acid. All that’ll be left of you will be your oversized feet.’ She twisted the barrel angrily and pointed the pen at Archie.
‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you,’ Archie advised. ‘Honestly, I really wouldn’t . . .’
‘Nice knowing you, Archie,’ Tension sneered triumphantly.
CLICK. CLICK.
The sharp explosive snap was accompanied by a brilliant white flash. Evelyn Tension stood motionless, eyes and mouth wide open. Her smooth glossy hair was now scorched and frizzy shooting out from her head in all directions as if she was in freefall. Grey smoke curled from the barrel of the pen and the top of her head, while worms of blue light crackled from her fingertips like lightning. For a split second she teetered on the spot, still frozen with the backfiring pen aimed at Archie.
Then, like a falling tree, she toppled backwards, pivoting on her heels as she plunged into the bubbling turquoise pool behind her with a resounding SPLOSH.
Klaus Von Grosskopf emitted an anguished groan as he watched the acid moat swallow his partner in crime. After a few moments a single glass eyeball bobbed eagerly to the surface, confirming her fate.
‘What have you done?’ Von Grosskopf snarled at Archie, his dark eyebrow dipping sharply at its centre.
‘I tried to warn her,’ he said innocently. ‘But she wouldn’t listen.’
‘She shot herself,’ Gemma said. ‘At point-blank range.’
‘Ballpoint-blank range, to be precise,’ Archie added.
Barney stood at the edge of the round platform and peered into the moat. ‘Well, nobody could say she didn’t throw herself into her work.’
‘I’m sorry, Klaus,’ Archie called. ‘But I think your partnership has been dissolved. Or at least your partner has.’
Snorting and snarling, Klaus Von Grosskopf charged towards Archie, who still didn’t have full control of his limbs. The hulking scientist grabbed Archie roughly by one shoulder and hauled him off the ground, examining him at arm’s length.
‘Call me impatient,’ Klaus leered. ‘But I can’t wait until midnight to see Winchester sliced in half.’ With his free hand he rummaged in his overalls, produced a small key fob and pressed the button on it. Immediately the laser’s progress towards the Prime Minister accelerated visibly. Smirking evilly, Klaus continued: ‘Now I’d say you’ve got about five minutes to save him – so tell me, kid, what’s the next part of your brilliant plan?’
‘I’m glad you asked me that,’ Archie answered with a confident chuckle.
But his insides were churning and his half-numb limbs were trembling because the truth was, he didn’t have a plan.
With a tremendous scream pitched somewhere between triumph and rage, Klaus Von Grosskopf hurled Archie across the Command Room, sending him sprawling into a bank of control panels.
Archie took the force of the impact on one shoulder, coming to rest slumped over on his knees.
Man, that’s going to hurt when I get my full feeling back, he thought.
Archie tried to lever himself to a standing position, but his legs still felt like they belonged to someone else. Before he was even halfway upright he felt Klaus grab two fistfuls of the back of his wetsuit and hoist him off the floor.
‘Put him down, you metal-mouthed, mono-browed mega-freak,’ Gemma yelled.
‘Nobody tells me what to do,’ Klaus roared. ‘Not any more.’
Suspended belly down, Archie felt Klaus rocking him gently back and forth.
Recognising the little practice swings that precede a launch, a new plan began to form in Archie’s mind. ‘I forbid you from throwing me at the wall just to the right of the entrance hatch,’ he commanded.
‘Oh, you forbid me, do you?’ Klaus sneered. ‘Well try this for size.’
With a grunt of effort Klaus launched Archie into the air, aiming him directly at the spot he had been forbidden from targeting.
Archie sailed across the room, limbs hanging down uselessly, and crashed into the wall, this time taking the full force to the side of his body.
‘I think I could get used to being the boss around here,’ Klaus grinned, brushing his palms together.
Shaking off the pain shooting round his skull, Archie pawed clumsily at the wall. While pretending he was trying to pull himself to his feet, he secretly grabbed the Bridge Control lever and slotted it into the gate marked with a D.
Within seconds Klaus was on top of Archie again, spinning him round and lifting him by the front of his wetsuit. Over his tormentor’s shoulder Archie watched the huge pendulum set in motion, swinging the bridge into position over the moat. If Klaus turned round now he would see what Archie had done and immediately return the lever to the ‘up’ position.
‘You’ll never be the boss around here,’ Archie croaked, stalling for time. ‘Now I absolutely forbid you from putting me down gently and throwing yourself in the moat.’
‘Oh you do, do you?’ Klaus chuckled. ‘Well, like I said – nobody tells me what to do any more.’ He lowered Archie gently to the floor but then a frown tugged his single thick eyebrow low over his tiny eyes. ‘Hang on a minute!’ Klaus lifted Archie’s feet clear of the floor again. ‘Do you take me for some kind of halfwit?’
‘Worth a try,’ Archie shrugged sheepishly. ‘You geniuses can be really dense sometimes.’
Archie watched the pendulum reach the vertical – and Gemma tiptoe over the gangplank. Barney remained on the platform, trying to prise open the manacles restraining Adam Winchester’s wrists.
‘There’s a laser-guidance panel somewhere,’ Archie called.
‘I know there is,’ Klaus replied. ‘I built this place. It’s over on the far wall. And why are you shouting? I’m right here.’
‘I’ve found the controls,’ Gemma yelled. ‘What should I do?’
‘Remove the panel,’ Barney called. ‘Cut the wire connecting the battery to the timing display. That should do the trick.’
‘There’s two wires,’ Gemma called. ‘A red one and a black one.’
‘Cut the red one,’ Barney replied emphatically. ‘Definitely red . . . No, wait. Black, it’s black.’
As Klaus advanced Archie sent a jab straight on to his lantern jaw and the goon staggered back a few paces.
‘Is that your final answer?’ Gemma insisted. ‘Because I don’t think we’ve got time for you to phone a friend.’
‘Black,’ Barney yelped. ‘Cut the black wire.’
‘Whatever you say.’ Gemma looped the black wire over the serrated blade and sharply drew the knife up, severing the cable. Instantly the laser died.
Archie breathed a sigh of relief. Then the hairs on his neck bristled as he realised Klaus was grinning triumphantly.
The laser gun suddenly emitted a series of short sharp buzzes and spluttered back to life. Now it was travelling even faster – making alarmingly quick progress towards the Prime Minister.
Barney grimaced. ‘It must have a back-up power source.’ He glanced over his shoulder at the scorching trail advancing between Adam Winchester’s legs. ‘And I think it was fitted with an anti-tamper booby-trap.’
‘At this rate it’s not going to take much more than thirty seconds to reach its target,’ Archie guessed.
Adam Winchester struggled frantically and tried to shout out, one eye open with wild panic.
Suddenly Klaus lunged at Archie who jumped clumsily backwards, then threw a couple of punches that landed lamely on the professor’s muscular chest.
‘What do I do?’ Gemma yelled.
‘Cut the all the wires,’ Barney urged. ‘One of them might connect to the back-up power source.’
‘You’re wasting your time,’ Klaus called over his shoulder swinging out an arm to grab Archie. Having finally recovered full feeling in his limbs, Archie was suffering the agony of the ordeal his body had been through. T
he pain would have been unbearable were it not for the adrenalin surging through him and he lurched to one side leaving the professor clawing fresh air.
Archie retaliated with his favourite move. Leaning back with his weight on his right foot he kicked out with his left, driving his heel at his enemy’s solar plexus.
But Archie’s leg didn’t extend with quite its usual snap and Klaus had time to recover his balance and react. Raising his hands to his chest he caught Archie’s foot, snatching it mid-flight as if it was a football. Gripping Archie’s heel and toes he shoved hard, grinning as the boy hopped frantically backwards to prevent himself toppling over.
‘I’ve cut all the wires,’ Gemma announced.
‘No good.’ Barney glanced ruefully at the intense light beam, now just a few centimetres from the Prime Minister.
Still holding Archie’s foot, Klaus was steering him towards the moat.
‘Zulu, do something!’ Gemma shrieked, glancing at the laser.
Smoke started to rise where the beam was scorching the material of Adam Winchester’s trousers.
Archie felt the edge of the moat under his heel. He tried to force the professor back but his other foot was too high to afford him any drive.
‘X-ray, get over here now,’ Barney yelled.
Gemma sprinted back across the bridge.
‘Get on all fours,’ Barney instructed. ‘Trust me.’
Frowning quizzically, Gemma obliged.
Archie knew Klaus had only to push him back another ten centimetres and he would be plunged into the all-consuming acid – and there was nothing he could do about it.
Barney took a couple of steps back. Scrunching his face up with determination, he ran towards Gemma, stepping on to her back and launching himself into the air.
‘Su-per-Zulu!’ he exclaimed as, with uncharacteristic agility, he leaped across the platform – arms and legs flailing. But as he reached the top of his trajectory it seemed as though he had missed his target. As he started to fall, Barney stretched desperately above his head and his fingertips touched the barrel of the laser gun.