“Thank you.” I can’t help but smile back. I’m so glad the job part is sorted out now.
“Can I take you to dinner to celebrate?”
“Oh… I don’t know about that,” I hesitate, as I finish neatening his hair and put the clippers down. I reach for a soft powdered brush to flick away the excess hair on his neck.
“You don’t want to celebrate? Or you don’t want to celebrate with me?”
Gliding my hand over the short spikes, a delicious chill runs through me. I touch him—perhaps a little more than I should—as I take a deep breath. I need to put a stop to this. “Listen, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here.”
“And what idea is that?”
“I see the way you look at me.”
“How do I look at you?”
“Like I make you hungry. But I can’t give you what you want. You’re a great-looking guy. I'd be a fool not to notice that, but I need to be clear—I’m not the girl for you.”
He sits up and spins his chair so he’s facing me now. “Oh wow. You’re mistaking my literal hunger for sexual hunger—I skipped lunch. And while I’m flattered you think I’m so great looking, you’ve got the wrong idea about me. I think it would be pointless to start anything with anyone. Especially with you. I only have three months, and you’re here indefinitely. However, you’re the first girl I’ve met in a long time that doesn’t giggle every time I speak. So I like you, I’d like to get to know you… if you’ll let me. As friends.”
“I don’t know.” I take a step back.
“Oh god, girl,” Andrea interrupts. “A fit man like that offers to feed you and you turn him down?” She puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head. “Nah-uh. I’m not letting you do that. Go and be young and free. It’s your second day in the country and all you’ve done is sleep and work. Go.”
I sigh as I narrow my eyes at Elliot. “Only friends?”
“Only friends,” he says.
I’m not sure I believe him. But, I have to admit that I am hungry, and he is the only other person I know in town besides my boss. “All right. We can have dinner.”
Andrea cheers.
Elliot
“Tell you what,” I say, getting up from the seat. “I’ll take you to the flat I’m staying in, and we can see what everyone else is doing. It can’t possibly be a date that way. Plus, you’ll get to meet some new people. Maybe they know someone looking for a flat mate?”
I can practically see the wheels turning in her head as she considers my proposal. “Where are you staying?”
“About a five-minute walk from here.”
“OK, fine. Just give me time to finish up, and I’ll meet you outside.” She walks me to the register, and I pay for my haircut. I can’t stop running my hand back and forward over my head. It feels strange and awesome all at the same time.
She’s smiling as she watches me do it. “Feels good, huh?”
“It does,” I admit. “I’ll see you when you’re through?” She nods, and I walk out the door as she flips the sign to ‘closed’ behind me. I’m waiting maybe ten minutes before she comes out with her bag.
“That was fast,” I point out.
“I got let off early for being such a good worker.”
“Lucky you.”
“No, lucky you. You would have been waiting for a good thirty minutes otherwise.”
“I don’t mind. Listen, don’t take this as flirting, but I like your hair this way… it’s pretty. I mean, I like it curly. I like it both ways actually… maybe I just like your hair.” I laugh nervously, tripping over my words and sounding kind of dopey.
She smiles back. “Normally I would definitely take that as flirting, but since you were so clear that it wasn’t, I will take it as it is—you like my hair. Although I’ll admit, now that your hair is short, I like yours too.” She reaches her hand up and rubs it over the fuzz that covers my head.
“You didn’t like it longer?”
She shakes her head vigorously and scrunches up her face.
“It was that bad?” I ask, surprised.
“No, not that bad. I just don’t like long hair on guys.”
“Why not? Did you date a guy with long hair who broke your heart or something?” I ask as a joke.
“Or something,” she replies.
“Oh, I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say.” I’m kicking myself for saying the wrong thing.
She chuckles a little. “It’s fine, Elliot. Nothing happened with a long-haired guy. Cropped hair is simply my personal preference.”
“Really? Well, that was kind of mean, making me think I took you to a bad place. Not cool, Paige. Not cool,” I tease light-heartedly.
When she smiles at me again, I’ve found my new addiction. Paige seems to have some sort of sadness emanating out of her, so when she smiles, it feels special. I wonder if getting her to laugh will feel like winning the lottery…
Approaching the block of flats, I point ahead and dig for my keys in my pocket.
“That’s it, the white one?” she asks.
“Sure is,” I tell her.
“What’s it like inside?”
“Cramped, but nice. You’ll see.”
Paige
Elliot leads me up a few flights of stairs until we reach a cream-coloured door with a brass ‘12’ attached to it above a peephole. Using his manners, he opens the door for me, and I smile as I step inside. I’m really not used to spending time around courteous men. This is unusual.
I can hear loud voices and laughter coming from the living area. I move to the side and let Elliot go ahead of me so he can make the introductions. I don’t want to look like some random who walked in off the street.
“Hey everyone, what’s happening?” he says as he enters the room.
“Hey man, oh my god! You shaved your head,” one guy points out before moving straight on. “We’re just deciding what to do tonight. No one wants to cook, so we’re thinking of heading down to the pub for something easy.”
“Or,” another guy interrupts. “We’re thinking of getting Indian. There’s a debate over what’s best. We are a house divided.” He tilts his head as he looks from Elliot to me. “Hello there, I’m Gavin.”
“Paige,” I say, nodding at him.
Elliot does a quick introduction around the room. “We’re only missing one person, Naomi. Did she come back?”
“She’s at work,” Petra says, tucking her leg beneath her on the couch. She reminds me of a pixie.
After a small discussion, it’s decided that everyone will just go to the closest pub, which is also the place where their other roommate works.
“So, Paige,” Gavin says, as we walk towards the pub as a group. “How do you know our Elliot?”
“Oh…I wouldn’t say I know him. We met on the plane and just kind of bumped into each other again.”
“You met on the plane? Are you a Sydney girl too?”
“Kind of, not Sydney city, but not too far out. What about you? I’m going to peg you for a Brisbane boy.”
He raises his eyebrows, an impressed look on his face. “Very close, Paige. I’m from the Goldcoast, Nerang to be exact. How did you know?”
“I’m a hairdresser. I meet a lot of people, so I’ve learned how to pick the different accents.”
“That’s a good skill to have,” he says thoughtfully as Petra moves in beside him and links arms.
“What’s a good skill?” she asks.
“Paige can tell where you’re from in Australia based on your accent.”
“Really? Where am I from?” she asks.
“Melbourne,” I tell her without hesitation.
“Correct,” she smiles.
“Here we are,” Brian says as we come to a stop outside a pub called, The Hole in the Wall. It’s aptly named because there's what looks like a storm pipe coming through the wall near the roof. I wonder if it was always there and inspired the name or whether they added it to justify the name when they built the place
.
As we file inside and head toward a table, everyone waves at the blonde behind the bar. Her smile isn’t as bright when it lands on me, so I nod and smile kindly at her, not wanting to ruffle any feathers.
Elliot pulls out my chair for me, and I look at him with raised eyebrows. “Seriously?” I ask.
He shakes his head and laughs. “I’m sorry. I was simply using the manners my mother taught me.”
“Well then, tell your mother I said thank you,” I say as I take the seat he offers.
“I will,” he says, before turning to the guys to discuss our all-important drink choices, and who is shouting the first round.
“All right,” Brian says. “I’ll go first round. Paige, what are you drinking?”
“Oh, just a coke for me, please.”
“You sure you don’t want something a little stronger?”
“No thanks. Coke’s fine.”
“All right. Petra, what are you having?” he asks moving his way around the table until he has everybody’s choice. Elliot gets up to help him, and I stay and chat to the others while we decide what we want to eat off the pub menu.
During dinner, I get quizzed further about where I’m from and what I’m doing in London. I try to be as vague as possible, but it’s hard to do that and not seem rude, so I deflect by asking lots of questions of my own.
“I like that accent thing you can do,” Petra says. “I always thought if you’re from Australia, your accent is just Australian. Where did you grow up?”
“Around Sydney. Are you from Melbourne city or did you grow up in one of the surrounding suburbs?”
“I’m from Templestowe. It's about twenty kilometres out of Melbourne city.”
“Did you always live there or move around?” I continue.
“I’ve been in the same place all my life. That’s why I came to London. I need a little adventure in my life.” She smiles.
“Where are you staying, Paige?” Brian asks from next to Petra.
“A hotel near the airport,” I reply.
“That’s a bit of a hike from here,” he comments. “I'll drive you back after this. Don’t catch the tube on your own.”
“You don't have to do that, I'll be fine.”
“He insists, and I'll come for the drive too. It’s no trouble,” Petra says. “Where will you be living after that?”
“I don’t know yet. I still have to find a place. I’ll start looking around here tomorrow. There has to be a share house needing someone somewhere.”
“You should come and stay with us,” Brian suggests. “Petra is going home in a week so her bed will be free.”
“Yeah that’s a great idea,” Petra adds. “It needs to be another girl because we share rooms—that’s why the rent is so low.” She stands up from her seat and cups her hands around her mouth. “Hey, Nomes! Paige is gonna be your new roomie.” Naomi lifts her head as she’s pulling a beer and makes an O shape with her mouth. Brian and Petra give her the thumbs up, not paying any attention to whether or not she’s happy about the idea.
“There you go,” Brain says, beaming at me. “It’s settled. You’ll come and stay with us.”
“Really? Well... I guess that could work out, considering my job is so close… All right then, I think I’ll have to take you up on that,” I say feeling pleased. A full-time job and a place to live sorted in one day. My luck is good right now. It’s precisely why I left Australia. To leave the anchor of my past behind. I can be a new person here. Undamaged.
“Did I just hear that right? You’re moving in?” Elliot asks.
“Yeah, in a week. Is that cool with you?” I reply.
“Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know… it’s great for me though. Five minutes from work.” I hold my fingers up in his face for added emphasis. “How awesome is that?”
He laughs, nodding his head in agreement. “It’s awesome.”
Seven
Paige
“Oh look, lover boy’s outside waiting for you again,” Andrea teases as she reconciles the receipts from the till and counts up the day’s takings.
I look up from the pile of stray hairs I'm sweeping, and there he is waiting on exactly the same spot he always is. He’s like a stray puppy: I cut his hair, had a conversation with him, and now we are best friends. I’d find it annoying if I didn’t find him so adorable. It’s a funny thing to think of a grown man—a manly man like Elliott—as adorable. But that’s what he is. It’s like he’s so untouched by the evil in the world that he’s still pure at heart. And despite my reservations, I have to admit I enjoy the five minutes of conversation I have with him at the end of my day. Andrea enjoys it too; she practically molests him with her eyes every time.
“He’s not my lover. His train gets in a little before we close and he likes to say hi since I’m moving into the flat soon. This is his way of getting to know me. Making sure I’m not a crazed serial killer or something, you know, the usual.”
Andrea laughs. “Men who look like Elliot don’t stand around in a train station after a long day at work to hang out with a potential flat mate. If I wasn’t stepping on your toes, I’d so be chasing after that boy. He’s all kinds of delicious.”
“I assure you, Andrea. My toes will not be squashed. Go for it,” I tell her flatly, focussing on attacking a stubborn piece of hair that won’t move out of the grout in the tiles.
The room feels too quiet, and when I look up, she’s watching me with her eyebrows arched high on her forehead. “That broom and I both know you’re into him, Paige, you’re only trying to convince yourself that you aren’t.”
“I don’t date.”
She pushes the cash drawer closed with her hip. “Well, you should.”
Choosing to ignore her comment, I finish sweeping and deposit the small pile in the bin before I move over to wash out the basins.
“You can go home now, Paige. He's waited long enough,” Andrea says, winking at me as she walks the bundled-up cash to the back room to put into the safe.
Collecting my bag and coat from the cupboard, I head out the door, my heart beating annoyingly fast when Elliot and I lock eyes.
“Hi,” I say on a breath.
A smile creeps over his face, and I inwardly shake my head. I don’t believe for a second that he isn’t interested in me. Pity he’s barking up the wrong tree.
“Hey, stranger.” God, he has a pretty smile. “I have an invitation for you.”
“Oh?” I stop a good metre away from him, needing distance.
“We’re having a get together tomorrow night to farewell Petra, and since you’re the new housemate, everyone wanted me to invite you along.”
“OK. Where is it?”
“Not sure. It’s dinner at a restaurant, and they want to go dancing afterwards.”
“Dinner and dancing?” I bite the inside of my lip. “Like, at a club?” I haven’t been inside one for years.
“That’s the plan. I’ll meet you here after work and walk with you to the flat if you like.”
“Is this something you guys do a lot?”
He nods. “There’s been a lot of drinking so far. This is the first time dancing has been included though.”
I don’t drink. And I’ve avoided night clubs like the plague for five years. Too many memories, too many gaps in my memory. I’m not a party girl any more. But I’m also not in Sydney any more. Nobody knows me here. There’s no chance I’m going to run into somebody who remembers what I used to be. I’m just Paige. I’m a blank slate.
“I’ll come,” I say, feeling a strange sense of control as I meet his eyes.
His grin widens. “Excellent. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Tomorrow.” I nod, then I back away, heading for the station entrance.
“Goodbye, Paige,” he calls after me, and my stomach jumps for joy at the sound of my name on his lips. Don’t.
Not even meaning to turn around, I shoot a small smile over my shoulder as
I go through the gates. I can feel him watching me. The skin on my back heats and my sides contract, reminding me to be careful. Men have the power to destroy. They offer hope, comfort and companionship. Then they use it to pull you apart piece by piece, to sell you out. I can’t forget that.
Elliot
Is it wrong that I’ve been counting down the hours and minutes until Petra leaves? I feel shitty about it because I like Petra. She’s a cool chick. I'm just happy because it means Paige is moving into the flat. Now I’ll get to see her for more than five minutes each day.
I know I sound like a lovesick fool who won’t take a hint. She’s got a massive wall up that she doesn’t want to take down. But I also know there are cracks in that wall. During every moment I persist, I see a tiny crack of light when I think she wishes those walls weren’t there. And there’s something inside me that wants to keep chipping away at those cracks until the bricks fall and I find her hidden inside there. It’s crazy. But I have to know her. And I don’t have time to be patient.
It’s only this week that I’ve understood where Naomi’s brazenness came from. Three months is a tiny amount of time when you’re chasing something.
Paige walks out of the salon a little later than normal, but she’s changed into a long-sleeve wraparound dress and a pair of heels. Her hair is straight and shiny, and she’s wearing a tiny amount of makeup, which I really like. I'm not a fan of women with big black lines around their eyes and thick lipstick. It just looks fake to me. Like they’re trying too hard or hiding themselves. I like it when they look like they’re supposed to.
Stopping in front of me, she puts her hands on her hips. “Ready?”
“Wow, you look gorgeous,” I gush. Fuck. I’m an idiot. I actually watch her walls locks in place.
She raises her brow. “You need to stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” I hold my hands up, feigning innocence.
“Like you want to eat me,” she replies, completely serious.
“What? You look gorgeous. I paid you a compliment. Friends do that, right?”
Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet Page 48