by Devney Perry
“Okay.” I’d be back to pacing until he was back safely. I doubted even writing would keep my anxiety at bay.
“Listen, Michael’s going to stay here just in case. I didn’t tell him anything. I just said that with the fire so close, I didn’t want you here alone.”
“Okay. But I’m not going to be able to lie to him this whole time, Beau. Nick already knows something is off.”
“Do what you think is best. I trust my brother to keep quiet. But—”
“I get it. You’re protecting your little brother.”
He nodded.
“I won’t lie to him but I’ll do my best to keep us off the subject of me.” Though I had no idea how that was going to work. We’d be sharing close quarters for the next day or two at a minimum. The story of Sabrina MacKenzie was bound to come up.
“We need to talk about what happened in the kitchen,” Beau said softly. “Are you okay?”
He was worried about my feelings at a time like this? Beau Holt was one of a kind. “Don’t worry about me. Go. Save the forest. We can talk later.”
“You’re good with that?”
I smiled. “I’m good.” I had a lot of questions about our kiss and what had suddenly caused Beau to change his mind but they could all wait. He needed to focus on getting himself and these young men back without harm.
“The gun is on the fridge,” he reminded me. “I know you won’t use it but Michael will.”
“Okay.”
He pulled me into his chest for a tight but brief hug before kissing the top of my hair and letting me go. As he finished gearing up, I stood with Nick and Michael, watching as the hotshots strapped on their heavy packs and tools. Then, like a line of ants, they started up into the mountains with Beau leading the way. The second he disappeared from my sight, a lead weight settled in my stomach.
“Beau’s fought a lot of fires, Sabrina,” Michael said. “He was a hotshot in college and then a team leader for a few years. He’d still be running a crew if he had the time.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a weak smile and bent down to rub Boone’s ears. This dog had given me more comfort in the last three months than I could have ever imagined.
“Well, I’d better get back to town,” Nick said. “Everyone’s going to want an update. I’ll park your truck at the station,” he told Michael. “You’re good to go back with Beau?”
“Yep,” Michael said.
“It was nice to meet you,” I said, standing up from Boone to shake Nick’s hand.
“You too. When you get done working here with your beetles,” he smirked at the way my shoulders shivered, “make Beau bring you to town. My wife, Emmy, and I will have you two over for dinner.”
“Thank you.” I waved good-bye.
Dinner with Beau’s friends would never be an option. In all likelihood, I’d never see Nick again or meet his wife, Emmy. It was a harsh reminder that Beau and I didn’t have a future and that the kiss we’d shared this morning was courting nothing but trouble.
Something we would need to talk about later once the forest around my outpost wasn’t on fire.
Two days later, Michael and I were walking through the meadow alone.
Though I was still anxious for Beau’s return, Michael had been a godsend these last couple of days. When I’d start to get worried, he’d assure me everything would be fine. When I’d start to panic that the smoke in the air wasn’t clearing, he’d distract me with a new topic.
But best of all, he hadn’t pried into my reasons for being at the outpost. He had asked me once and I’d told him that my situation was complicated. With one nod, he’d dropped the subject and hadn’t brought it up again. Instead, we’d spent the majority of the last couple of days talking about him.
Michael Holt, much like his older brother, was an incredibly good man and he wanted nothing more than to make Beau proud.
“You really think I shouldn’t worry?” he asked.
I laughed. “Yes, for the hundredth time. You have nothing to worry about. Beau is not going to care that you want to get a dog just like Boone.”
“Mom and Dad are always telling stories about how I was Beau’s shadow. I don’t want him to think that I’m still that little kid, copying everything he does. I just really like his dog.”
I could relate to that. If I ever got a pet, it would have to be Boone’s long-lost twin. “Michael,” I said, “trust me when I say that he will be flattered.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
He sighed. “He’s my hero. Some guys look up to pro athletes. I’ve always looked up to my dad and Beau.”
I swallowed an aww and patted his arm. “That’s sweet. Buy the dog. Beau will see it as a compliment.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m gonna do it.”
“Now on to a more important topic, what are you going to name it?” I asked.
Michael smiled and started rattling off both male and female dog names. None were as great as Boone but I kept that opinion to myself. We were in the middle of a debate between Zoey and Sadie when a loud, thumping noise rang in the distance.
Michael immediately stopped talking and grabbed my elbow, turning me around and pulling me to the far edge of the meadow opposite the outpost. His long legs were moving so quickly, I had to run to keep up.
“What’s wrong?” I asked when he slowed.
“Chopper.” His arm reached up and pointed to the source of the noise, a helicopter coming right toward us. With every passing second, it grew bigger and louder in the sky. When it reached the airspace above us, the pounding of its blades reverberated against my chest.
My hair whipped around my face as the enormous machine hovered in the center of the meadow. The tall grasses flattened to the ground in a near perfect circle as it set down, and though the blades were starting to slow, the engine noise was still deafening.
“I’ll be right back!” Michael yelled.
I nodded and covered my ears as he jogged the distance to the bright red helicopter. Ducking low when he reached the blades, he went to the passenger door, pulling it open and revealing the words Fire & Rescue painted on the side. Michael talked to the pilot for a few minutes, and when their conversation was finished, he waved, ducked again and ran back to me.
My heart was hammering in my chest, hoping that this unexpected visit was not to deliver bad news. When Michael grinned, my entire body sagged in relief.
“The fire is under control,” he said. “They’re on their way back.”
The firefighters in my meadow were having a bonfire.
“Don’t you think it’s just a little ironic?” I asked Beau.
He chuckled as he towel dried his wet hair. “Not really.”
I turned from Beau standing in the middle of the room to Michael sitting in the log chair next to me on my cot. “You agree with me, don’t you?”
I didn’t get the reinforcement I’d been looking for. Michael just shrugged and smiled at his brother.
“Why am I the only one in this room that thinks a fire, today of all days, is ludicrous?”
“They’re just celebrating,” Beau said. “A lot of crews have traditions like this. The Big Sky Hotshots always camp out and party after their first fire of the year.”
“I don’t understand you Montana men. If I was covered in black soot and smelled like a burnt match, the only thing I’d want would be two consecutive showers, a gallon of soap and an actual bed. Having a campfire party would be the last thing on my mind.”
“These guys don’t give a shit about soap and most like sleeping under the stars,” Beau said.
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t begrudge them the chance to relax and celebrate a job well done. I can’t imagine the stress and demands of their job but I’m just surprised they aren’t making the quick trip home to party there.”
Beau gave me a gentle smile. “It’ll be fine.”
He knew I was worried about these men hanging at the outpost longer than necessary.
There was still a chance one of them could recognize me and question my presence. Though if they hadn’t suspected anything by now, I was likely in the clear. Even if they did start asking too many questions, the amount of alcohol they were consuming would probably make it difficult to remember in the morning anyway.
Another irony, the crew hadn’t bothered packing tents but had found plenty of room for alcohol. I decided not to bring that one up to the Holt brothers, knowing I wouldn’t get any sympathy on that topic either.
“You guys want to go out there for a while?” Michael asked, standing from his chair.
“Sure,” Beau answered for us both.
What? He wanted me to mingle at a bonfire while I was supposed to be in hiding?
While Michael rummaged around the kitchen, Beau tossed his towel aside and came to me on the cot. With one good tug, he pulled me up and into his space.
“Um, what are you thinking?” I hissed. “Don’t you think it would be best if I stayed in here? You know, in hiding?”
“Yeah, I do. But I also think it will be kind of suspicious if you stay inside. Trust me, they’ll ask more questions about you if you stay inside than if you’re out there with them.”
“I’ll hide in plain sight.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Just no talking about pine beetles.”
He chuckled. “Deal. Did everything go okay with Michael?”
I smiled. “He’s great. I had fun getting to know him.”
“No problems?”
“None.”
Beau and I hadn’t had a chance to debrief from the last two days. After the helicopter had landed, Michael and I had stuck close to the outpost, waiting for the team to make the hike back down. The pilot had stayed, needing to discuss something with Beau, and shared some details about how fighting the fire had gone.
The wind, which had started out working against the crew, had settled that first night and the team had been able to dig a good perimeter trench and start backfires. With a series of strategically placed air drops of water and fire retardant, the blaze had been tamed and was no longer at risk of spreading. The crew was free to return, job well done.
The team had emerged from the forest early this evening, dirty and happy to shed their heavy packs. Beau’s face had been nearly black, the skin around his eyes and cheeks the same color as his beard, but when he’d flashed me a bright, white smile, I’d almost cried with joy.
Whatever my future held, I’d never forget that smile. It had taken my breath away.
Beau hadn’t wasted any time debriefing the team and talking to the helicopter pilot. The entire time, Dylan had stood away from the crowd, doling out angry glares to anyone who dared make eye contact. Clearly, something had happened up on the mountain but I hadn’t had a chance to ask what.
After the debrief, the team relocated their gear and vehicles to the meadow for their party and the pilot flew his helicopter home. Beau had gone straight into the shower to clean up so now that he was fresh and crisp, I could finally ask what had happened.
“What’s going on with Dylan?”
His jaw clenched tight as he shook his head. “He’s a fucking fool. He wanted to take the team up a ridge that would have trapped us against a cliff. We got into it and I overruled him. He’s pissed but I don’t give a fuck. I’m reporting him as soon as I get back to town.”
“That guy’s a douchebag,” Michael called from the kitchen. “Hey, can I have some of this Crown?”
“Go ahead,” Beau and I said in unison, smiling at his brother.
Michael’s playful nature was such a contrast from Beau’s seriousness. Beau took on so much with those broad shoulders. I liked that he had someone to give him some lightness.
“You guys ready?” Michael asked, the whiskey tucked securely under his arm
“Ready,” Beau said.
All I wanted was to snuggle up with Beau and let him curl me into his arms, but with Michael sharing the outpost’s floor space, that wasn’t going to be an option until his next visit. That was, if Beau didn’t deem our kiss a mistake and stop spending the night again.
The three of us strolled outside and I took care to appreciate the beautiful scenery. The late evening sun was setting behind the mountains as we emerged into the meadow. With the sky above us darkening to navy and the horizon glowing gold, it felt like the heavens were smiling good night.
In the center of the meadow, the bonfire was burning tall. The crew had built a ring of stones in the circle where the helicopter had landed. The grasses were still plastered to the earth, making a smooth surface for the party’s gathering point. Branches and small logs from the forest were piled in small clumps between groups of visiting men.
Men who were substantially cleaner than they had been earlier. How had that happened? Their faces were fresh and most had wet hair. Their protective outer layers, which had been covered in soot and filth, had been stripped away to mostly clean T-shirts and utility pants.
“Where did they clean—never mind.” In the creek at the far end of the meadow, I saw a young brunette man washing himself in the cold water. “Shouldn’t we tell them they can use the shower at the outpost?” I asked Beau. “That is what it’s there for.”
He shook his head. “I offered but they didn’t want to intrude on your space.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Don’t worry about it, Shortcake. They’re fine.” He threw his arm around my shoulders for a sideways hug. My arm slid behind his waist and rested perfectly against his lower back. Walking with him in this position, like an actual couple, was too nice not to smile about.
We joined the party and I reluctantly let Beau go so he could shake hands with the crew. Most of the young men looked up at him with reverence. Michael wasn’t the only one with stars in his eyes.
“Would you like a drink, ma’am?” A man with shaggy red hair offered me his bottle of gin. I recognized him from the line of men that had been in the outpost filling their canteens in the kitchen sink.
“No, thank you.” Glancing around the bonfire, I realized I wouldn’t be drinking tonight. No one had glasses and I didn’t see a single bottle label that I recognized.
While Beau and Michael visited, I stood between them and people-watched. A couple guys had already laid out their beds on the grass and another was in the process of doing the same. From the bottom of his pack, the man unrolled a green mat, then dug around the inside of the bag to pull out a wool plaid blanket. With a proud smile, he patted his resting place, then stood to join the others.
It was impressive how little these men needed to be comfortable.
I looked to my feet and smiled to myself.
It was impressive how little I needed to be comfortable. Three months ago, I’d likened my time at the outpost to pure torture. Now, I’d be making some changes when I eventually got home.
My life in Seattle would be simpler, better, if I downsized a bit. My closet needed to be cleaned out and clothes sent to charity. I would do a better job of cooking for myself rather than constantly eating out. I might even consider finding a smaller, less extravagant apartment.
“Holt!” My attention snapped back to the party when a man summoned Beau over to his group.
“Be right back,” Beau told me and Michael.
With his brother out of earshot, Michael asked, “So what happened with Dylan? Beau just gave us the high level.”
The three men in our group shared knowing glances. The redhead stood between two black men that I’d learned were cousins. I’d already forgotten their names so I’d silently granted them all nicknames. Red, for the ginger. Tall Cousin and Short Cousin, for obvious reasons.
“It was bad,” Tall Cousin said. “Dylan took a swing at Beau.”
“Fuck,” Michael hissed at the same time my mouth fell open.
“Yeah. The fucking dickhead was lucky your brother has extreme self-control. If it’d been me, I would have leveled Dylan,” Short Cousin a
dded.
My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Dylan, but he was nowhere to be seen. Michael and the guys changed subjects but the back of my neck prickled. Even though I couldn’t see him, I felt Dylan’s creepy stare. I turned around, squinting through the dim evening light, until I caught him in the distance near the tree line.
“Oh, no,” I muttered. My turn had sent the wrong message. Dylan pushed off the tree he’d been leaning against and started walking my way. A half-empty bottle of some dark liquor dangled from one of his hands.
Dylan’s swaying steps crossed the distance between us surprisingly fast. The closer he got, the closer I inched to Michael. Where was Beau? He’d disappeared a few minutes ago behind one of the hotshot trucks.
“Hey, Sabrina,” Dylan slurred as he stepped next to my side.
“Hi,” I muttered, leaning back when he bent too close to my face and I got a whiff of his drunk breath.
“Dylan, back off,” Michael warned.
I was practically hanging off Michael’s hip now. I couldn’t explain it, Dylan hadn’t done anything other than just talk to me and invade my personal bubble but something was off. Maybe it was woman’s intuition but I knew Dylan wasn’t just a Creepy Carl. His interest in me went well beyond an ill-placed crush.
Dylan grumbled at Michael’s order but took a step away, then tipped the bottle to his mouth. Bubbles burst inside the glass as the alcohol was sucked into Dylan’s already drunk body. “Back off? She wants me, guys.” Dylan wiped a dribble of liquid from his chin. “You know how it is. She’s just playing hard to get.”
“The fuck she is,” Michael said, pulling me farther behind him.
“You’ll see, Holt. You’ll all see.” His strange threat sent an icy wave of chills down my spine. The men in our circle all stared at Dylan in disgust until, finally, Red broke away and pushed Dylan toward one of the rigs.
I stared, unable to look away, as Red set up Dylan’s bedroll, then forcefully shoved Dylan’s ass onto his blanket. A slew of curse words were volleyed back and forth until Red threw his hands in the air and left Dylan to stew alone, slurping down more of his almost-empty bottle of booze.