by Devney Perry
Beau’s arm clenched tight. “No.”
I twisted my neck to look up to his face. “No?”
“It’s too soon, Shortcake. Don’t leave yet. Give it a couple more months at least.” His soft plea melted my heart.
I turned back to Henry. “Do I have to decide today? What’s the harm in me staying hidden here for a little while longer? We could wait and see how the trial shakes out. Maybe your source with the Russians can give you a better idea of what they want and if they’re even interested in me at all.”
“Sabrina, this is stupid.” Henry’s jaw clenched tight and he threw an arm out to the open prairie. “I can’t protect you out here.”
“You don’t need to,” Beau said. “We’ve got her.”
Henry and Beau went into another stare down but I didn’t let it go on long.
“Henry, please?” I begged, drawing his focus. “I’m not ready to say good-bye to Sabrina MacKenzie yet. If that’s what needs to happen, fine. But let’s just make absolutely sure first. Please?”
“We’ve known each other for years,” he said. “I don’t want to say good-bye to Sabrina MacKenzie either, but I’d much rather know you were alive living as someone new rather than a murder waiting to be investigated. Witness protection is the answer.”
“I promise I’ll go willingly if that is what needs to happen. But not yet.”
“I can’t agree to this,” he clipped.
“Please?” I whispered.
His suit-clad chest expanded before he blew out a loud huff. “Fine. It’s your choice.”
“Thank you.” I rushed out of Beau’s embrace and gave Henry a hug. “Thank you.”
He hugged me back, his designer cologne filling my nose. “You know, I was the one who came to your apartment the morning after you disappeared. I got that file you sent and then the call that there had been a disturbance at your house. I swear, Sabrina, I thought I’d find you dead.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
He sighed. “Me too.”
I squeezed him tighter before stepping away. Once upon a time, I’d had a crush on Henry Dalton. He was handsome and smart, and when he smiled, he had an adorable dimple in one cheek. But even his pretty brown eyes couldn’t conjure the butterflies I used to feel for him.
Those little flutters all belonged to Beau now.
“Would you do me a favor when you get back to Seattle?”
He nodded. “Name it.”
“Will you check in on my family? I’d like to make sure they’re all okay.”
“They are,” he said. “We’ve had an agent watching them since you went missing. Everyone’s fine.”
Checking social media was one thing but hearing from someone I trusted that my parents and brothers were fine was an immense relief. “Thank you.”
“I need to be able to call you.”
“Okay,” I said at the same time Beau declared, “No.”
“Why not?” I asked, turning around. “Don’t you think it would be good to know what’s happening?”
“Any message he needs to send can go through Jess. You’re going to disappear again.”
Henry let out a dry laugh. “You know I could find her. Obviously, she’s been with you. How long do you think it will take me to figure out who the fuck you are and where she could be staying?”
Beau’s hands fisted and a couple of knuckles cracked. “I’m thinking you’re going to leave here and not draw any unnecessary attention to why you’ve been on vacation in Montana. That would include asking a bunch of questions about me and my relationship with Sabrina. You wouldn’t want anyone to follow your tracks, now would you?”
Henry’s jaw ticked as he gave Beau a short nod before looking to me. “I hope you know what you’re doing with this guy.”
I wasn’t sure if he meant my relationship with Beau or that I was trusting Beau with my safety. Regardless, my response was the same. “Yes, we know what we’re doing.”
Henry turned to Jess. “You can get word to Sabrina if we need to in a hurry?”
“Yeah.” Jess nodded.
“Okay. Take care of yourself,” Henry told me.
“I will. You too.”
He pulled a pair of Ray-Bans from his suit pocket and slid them over his eyes. Then without another word, he walked back to Jess’s truck.
“Let’s go,” Silas said.
Without delay, I got back in Silas’s truck, leaning down to give Boone a short hug. Silas and Beau loaded up and we roared away, Jess’s truck leaving a dust stream in its wake as it went the opposite direction.
“I don’t trust that guy,” Beau said.
Silas chuckled. “That’s just because he wants what you have.”
Beau mumbled something under his breath but I couldn’t hear him. I was too busy replaying Silas’s jest.
Did Henry have feelings for me? I’d always thought my crush on him was one-sided. No wonder Beau and Henry had both been puffing up their chests.
Men.
They might have an issue with one another but I was content to let a group of large, strapping men act as my protectors.
Because if the Russian mafia was after me too, I would need all of the protection I could get.
The drive to the outpost the second time was just as nerve-racking as it had been the first.
Different but no less stressful.
On my first journey into the woods, I’d been nervous about where I was going, scared of the forest creatures and uncomfortable next to Beau’s dog. Now, those worries were long gone but new concerns had sprouted in their place. The outlook for my future was just as bleak as it had been in April.
I hadn’t gone with Henry to witness protection but was I just postponing the inevitable? Would I ever get my life back? As my body jostled around on the bumpy road, I sat silently wondering if it was pointless for me to wish for anything other than to simply stay alive.
Silas and Beau stayed mostly quiet too on the drive back. It wasn’t until we were an hour into the wilderness that either of the men spoke. Even then, their conversation was limited.
“We should have driven part of the way so you didn’t have to take us all the way back to the outpost. You’ll be lucky to get home by ten,” Beau told Silas.
“I don’t mind. Felicity has wedding stuff with Gigi tonight anyway.”
A stab of jealousy zinged through my side. Felicity wasn’t having attendants because I couldn’t be a part of their wedding but it still hurt that I was missing everything.
Maybe I needed to get used to this. Was her wedding just a preview of my eventual reality? Would I be trapped in a new identity in a faraway town, forced to watch silently through Facebook posts and Instagram photos how my family and friends were living?
I didn’t want that life. I didn’t want to start over. I didn’t want to lose the people that I loved.
A tear dripped down my cheek and I swiped it away, not wanting Beau or Silas to know I was crying. It was selfish to feel sorry for myself. The only person to blame for these circumstances was me. Had I not written the Federov story, I would be safe in Seattle, having my bridesmaid dress fitted and packing for a vacation to Montana to be in Felicity’s wedding.
On the whole, my story had triggered more positive outcomes than bad, but it had come at great personal cost. The worst of it was, had I known this was how it would all turn out, I don’t know if I would have written the article. Would I have let the gun smuggling continue? Would I have let the Federovs keep ruining lives?
No. Even though it might have destroyed my life, I still would have written the story.
For Janessa.
By the time we pulled up to the outpost, it was nearly seven. I didn’t feel much like eating but my stomach was growling for dinner.
“Do you guys want something to eat before you head back to town?” I asked.
“I’d take a sandwich for the road,” Silas said.
“Sure thing.” I hopped out of the truck and hustled inside.
By the time the guys joined me, I was in the middle of slapping together four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wrapped up two in a paper towel for Silas and gave him my last bag of chips with a bottled water.
“Thanks,” he said.
I smiled. “You’re welcome. Can you give something to Felicity for me?”
He nodded. “You bet.”
Then I rushed into his arms, hugging his waist as tightly as I could. His hand patted my back but I didn’t let go until my nose was no longer stinging with the threat of tears.
When I stepped away, I forced a smile. “There, give her that hug. Tell her I miss her, I love her and that she’ll be the most beautiful bride in history.”
He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “You’ll see her again, Sabrina.”
“I really hope so.” My voice cracked but I didn’t let it stop me from saying what I needed to say. “But if I don’t, promise me you’ll make her happy. Give her cute little blond babies and spoil her rotten at Christmas. Take her on a vacation once a year so she can get a tan. She deserves to be happy, Silas.”
“I promise,” he said softly. “I’ll make her the happiest woman alive.”
“Thank you,” I whispered as my eyes flooded.
Beau stepped up and curled me into his side. With his free hand, he shook Silas’s, then pulled me tighter as Silas walked outside and drove away.
“It’s going to be all right.” Beau held me tight as I lost control of my tears. My shoulders shook violently as I kept trying to tamp down the loud sobs. I couldn’t cry long because Beau needed to get home, but when he was safely on the road, I’d let my emotions loose. I could hold it in for just a little while longer.
“I’m good,” I hiccupped and stepped away. “Let me get your sandwiches so you can go.”
He reached out and pulled me back into his arms. “I’m staying tonight.”
“You don’t have to.” There wasn’t any conviction in my words. I wanted him to stay and hold me all night long.
“I’m staying,” he repeated.
I lifted my chin so he could bend down and lightly brush his lips to mine. He lingered a bit but broke apart when my stomach growled again.
“We’d better eat.” I demolished one peanut butter and jelly in record time while Beau ate the other.
“How are you feeling?” Beau asked as I made him another sandwich.
I shrugged. “Sad. I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll ever get to go home again.”
“Would that really be so bad?”
I set down my butter knife. “What?”
“If you couldn’t go back, would that really be so bad?”
I spun around from the counter, angry at him for making light of the situation. The stress of the day made me snap. “How could you even ask that? Of course it would be bad. I want my life back.” I’d be making some changes to my former lifestyle but at least I’d still be me.
“You want your Seattle life back?” he asked.
“Yes.” I was baffled by his question. “What other life do I have?”
Beau’s jaw clenched tight and the vein on his forehead bulged. “Seriously?”
Gah! Why the hell was he angry? I was the one who had the right to be upset. It wasn’t his life, his identity on the line here. His temper had spiked for no reason except that I wanted to go home. This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.
“Yes, seriously. I want to go home. I want to live my life. I want to be free to make my own choices.” I didn’t know what witness protection entailed but my freedom and independence would most likely be limited.
Beau shook his head. “You’re hell-bent on going home and picking up right where you left off?”
“Yes!” How was this a shock? Witness protection would be any sane person’s last resort.
“You wouldn’t even consider living somewhere else?”
“No.” My mouth hung open as I gaped at him. I wouldn’t even get to pick my new home. The FBI would do that for me. Of course I wouldn’t want that. Was he crazy?
“Huh,” he scoffed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” I stared at him wordlessly as he marched over to the fridge and yanked out a water, slamming the door closed so hard the condiments in the door’s shelves went crashing.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I can’t believe you’re mad at me.”
“And I can’t believe I’m falling for a girl who is so stubborn, she won’t even consider that the life she wants to return to so badly is complete shit.” Without looking back, he grabbed his keys off the counter and stormed outside.
“At least that life is of my own making!” I yelled at his back.
Beau didn’t respond other than to slam his truck door shut and gun the engine when it roared to life. Tires spun and dirt flew as he drove away at reckless speed.
“Don’t drive crazy! You’ll hit a tree!” I shouted, not that he could hear me.
No sooner had his taillights disappeared than I saw them coming back, full speed in reverse. Beau left the truck running and his door open as he strode my way. “I need my bag.”
I marched inside first, grabbing his backpack from the floor and throwing it at him. He caught it and slung it over his shoulder, not sparing me another second before turning around.
He might have been done with our fight but I wasn’t. I didn’t even know why we were fighting, but since I didn’t have the luxury of running away, I kept shouting before he could disappear again, “If you wanted me to go into witness protection so badly, what was all that about with Henry today? Why didn’t you just let him take me?”
His feet ground to a halt on the wooden floor. “What?”
“If you think my current life is ‘complete shit,’ then why didn’t you just let me leave today? Henry would have erased that life you deem so bad and I’d have an entirely new existence.”
Beau turned around, the hard scowl on his face replaced with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
I threw my hands in the air. “What are you talking about? You asked me how I was feeling and I told you I was sad that I couldn’t go home. Then you got angry because I don’t want to give up my entire life, my family and my friends just to start over as a figment of the FBI’s imagination. Even if my life is crap, Beau, it’s better than witness protection. But if you think otherwise, why didn’t you send me with Henry?”
His bag slid off his shoulder and both hands came up to rub his face as he sighed, “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
Okay, now I was confused. “Sorry for what?”
“I didn’t know you were talking about witness protection.”
“You didn’t?” I replayed our argument. If he didn’t think I was talking about witness protection, then why had he gotten so angry? “You need to keep explaining.”
He sighed and waved me over. “You need to come over here.”
I frowned and shook my head. “You come here.”
“Meet in the middle?”
I took one step and waited for him to do the same. One foot at a time, we only stopped when my bare toes were up against his tennis shoes.
“Why do you always do that?” I whispered when his hand lifted and pulled away the lock of hair I’d been twirling.
“Because you have nothing to be worried about.”
Beau knew me well. I wished I had a better handle on him so maybe I wouldn’t have to ask so many questions. “Why did you get mad?”
“Let’s just say, I was upset that you didn’t have an open mind.”
“Huh?”
“No more questions.” He smiled and bent down to press a kiss to my forehead. Then another to my nose. Then another on my lips. “Don’t move.”
I wanted to ask more questions but he vanished from my space and jogged outside, turning off his truck and shutting the door. Then he was back, this time rushing into my space and slamming his lips onto mine. I opened immediately, letting him take control and explore my mouth with that magical tongue.
Ki
sses now. Questions later.
His fingers roamed feverishly, running up my spine and through my hair, then working down my front, squeezing my breasts roughly through my tank top and bra. He may have been dominating our kiss but my hands were probing as frantically as his were.
I pressed hard into his back but my fingers were no match for the defined, toned muscles that ran from his shoulders to his hips. My palms skimmed lower, sliding under the waistband of his jeans. When my hands were molded perfectly to his sculpted ass, I gave him one tight squeeze, pulling his hips further into my space so I could feel his growing erection against my belly.
He groaned into my mouth, the vibration sending a whole new wave of heat to my center. Needing more, I slipped my hands out of his jeans and brought them between us, working the button on Beau’s jeans and carefully undoing the zipper.
One hand dove inside his boxers and gripped his hard cock tight. My strokes were short, but Beau ripped his lips off mine with a loud hiss.
“Turn around,” he ordered.
I immediately obeyed. Beau always preferred for our eyes to be locked during sex and had never taken me from behind. The idea of his powerful hips slamming into me while I was on my hands and knees? So hot I shivered and my pussy clenched.
The sound of rustling clothes filled the room as Beau stripped down, tossing his shirt and jeans into a pile by our feet. Then his hands came to my shirt, jerking it over my head, while I worked down my shorts and panties. With a flick on the clasp, he undid my bra so I could toss it to the floor.
“Down on all fours, angel,” he whispered to the soft skin under my ear.
I shivered and dropped, closing my eyes and savoring the sound of him calling me “angel” in that gravelly voice.
The front of Beau’s thighs rested against the back of mine as he joined me on the floor. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him rip open a condom packet with his teeth then drop his eyes as he rolled it on. His gaze came to mine and with a sexy smirk, he guided that hard cock right to my entrance, rubbing it against my clit a couple of times before pressing it against my opening.
I was so primed and ready, he eased inside without any resistance. Moaning, I closed my eyes and savored the stretch of my body around his thickness. I ached for him to let go of his restraint.