Next morning, I woke up early and went for a long run. NOLA was much warmer than NYC. Being close to nature and smelling the history and stories of NOLA made me think of Rohan. A part of me missed the crispness of autumn in New York. Running reminded me of New York and my bet that I had lost to Rohan. Why haven’t I heard from him after the party at Manchester Distillery?
When I got home, Naina looked upset. She was walking away from her dad’s side of the family. Masi was trying to placate her. Naina turned to Masi, “Mom, ask them to stop.”
“I know they drive you crazy, beta,” Masi whispered. She was referring to her in-laws. “Why don’t you and Ahana get out of the house on the pretext of last minute shopping and get some time away from them?”
“I didn’t want to invite them to the wedding.” With her sunglasses in her hand, Naina pointed in the direction of her paternal family.
“That’s not how Indian culture works, Naina. A little tolerance, beta.”
Naina rolled her eyes.
* * *
Wanting to avoid tourists, we went to an out-of-way neighborhood place that did beignets equal to those of Cafe Du Monde. We also ordered two hot chocolates. Surprisingly, Naina didn’t bring up Jay or Rohan, and I quite appreciated this refreshing change in our dynamic.
“Ahana, how do you deal with the asinine questions aunties in Delhi throw at you?”
“How do you mean?”
“The women in the park who stuff their faces with Tibetan dumplings and talk crap.”
“You mean momos?” It was one of New Delhi’s favorite street foods all-year round.
“Yup! The type who stop and badger you when you are out for a run. How do you not argue with them?”
“I used to get upset. But Mumma once sat me down and told me, ‘You can’t change the aunties, so change your attitude. Don’t explain yourself to them.’” I took a sip of the hot chocolate. “Why do you ask?”
“I am losing it with my dad’s family. So judgmental. They slyly keep asking me about my living arrangement with Josh. What religion our kids will be! What the fuck?”
“Ignore them.”
“How, dude? A bunch of Dad’s family peeps surrounded me this morning when you were out for a run. ‘A Waldorf Astoria Hotel for the engagement. It’s a five-star luxury hotel.’ They nodded their heads like robotic mannequins.” Naina took a decadent bite of her beignet. Wiping her mouth, she imitated her paternal aunt’s traditional Patiala gesture of throwing her hair back and moving her hands as if the wind were blowing them away. “‘Haan. Haan. Lot of money you all must have spent. Did Josh’s family pay for anything?’”
I started to laugh. “I am sorry.”
“Shut up!” Naina hit the back of my head. She dusted her hands and shook her legs. “Maybe I need to try yoga?”
“Might not be the worst thing.” I smiled.
It was mid-day, yet there was no message from Rohan. I sent him a picture of the bookstore on our way out.
He wrote back, “Cousins wreaking havoc in NOLA? ;-)”
I responded with a smiley.
I turned to Naina. “How does Rohan know you and I are hanging out?”
“Some of us post personal updates on social media.” Naina poked the space between my eyebrows with her index finger. “You haven’t said a word about fuck face Dubois since you got here. I am waiting.”
We started to walk to Naina’s favorite bar.
I couldn’t tell Naina that I was doing my own detective work. “I need you to trust me, Naina. Don’t ask me to explain anything about Jay. I need a break from him and any conversations about him. Please.”
Surprisingly, Naina didn’t argue with me. “But you know I nag only because I care about you?” She sat on the barstool and looked at the drinks menu.
“Never doubted that for a moment.” I hugged her.
Naina ordered a Sazerac and I ordered a glass of wine. There was live music, Cajun food, and an afternoon away from work. I didn’t bother logging into my online therapy group or emails to see whether there were any messages from Jay. I had finally told myself what Mumma would have said: This is your time with the people you love. Take care of yourself.
* * *
On the evening of the engagement, Naina, Josh, and I showed up early at The Roosevelt New Orleans to welcome the party guests. Rohan had texted me before catching his flight to NOLA. “Matron, see you in my city soon!!!” After an exchange of multiple messages, I knew his flight details, what time he would arrive at the party, right down to the kind of drink and peanuts he planned to order on the airplane.
The party room was abuzz. The hotel had played host to Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra, and Louis Armstrong at one point. It was lavish and the view of the city from the hotel was stunning. Large windows faced city lights. All of Naina and Josh’s cousins and friends were present. Josh, coming from Italian ancestry, had a big family too. His cop friends had flown down from New York.
Champagne flowing. People swirling. Music. Booze. Indian, Italian, and Cajun food. Laughter. Designer gowns and Indian outfits mingled. The room had Naina’s energy and Josh’s personality. A perfect treat for friends and family. It was an intimate party. Naina looked gorgeous in a backless green gown, and Josh in his tuxedo.
My eyes kept turning toward the entrance. Rohan should have been here by now! Of all the days, why is he late today?
My mind was on Rohan when Naina’s little cousin on her dad’s side, Mindy, walked up to me. “Ahana didi, I need your help with my dress, please.”
As soon as I returned after disentangling Mindy’s zipper, I saw several heads turn toward the entrance. Rohan walked in with a gift in hand. He looked charming in his all-black Armani suit, with a pink Burberry tie. I walked toward him.
“Looking pretty, ladies.”
“Thank you, Rohan.” Naina kissed him on his cheek. “When did you get in?”
“This afternoon actually.”
“Brady. Why are you late?” I pretended to make a stern face.
Naina glared at me and walked away. I knew she had purposefully left me alone with Rohan. I stared at the ground. I could feel Rohan stare at me. “What?” I spoke in a pretentious annoyed tone.
“Nothing. Never seen you with your hair tied up, though.” Rohan paid attention. “You look beautiful in this dress.” He noticed the small things and the big things.
I felt conscious of my ensemble—a short, beige, strapless, tight-fitting dress with heavy embroidery. Big heels, bright red lipstick, and hair tied in a bun, and Mumma’s diamond chandelier earrings.
“You can’t expect me to talk to you just because you compliment me.” I touched my hair on both sides.
“Hahaha. So much, ego.” Rohan walked an inch closer.
I could feel my breathing change. I could feel the fine fabric of his tailor-made suit on my skin.
He stared into my eyes. “I’m not the kind of guy who’ll tell you what to do…. So, I’ll just strongly suggest you go stand over there by that window where the light will make your earrings lovely, and let me bring you a drink.”
“Fine.” I stomped my foot and dug into the carpeted floor of the hotel.
“Ahana didi, come here. I’ll show you a new step.” Mindy tugged at my dress.
“I don’t dance, Mindy.”
“That’s totes crazy, Ahana didi.” Mindy pushed her right hip out and played with the locks in her hair.
“What?” I burst out laughing, watching the diva emerge from inside a pre-teen.
“You look so cute when you laugh.” She continued to play with her hair.
“Thanks, Minds!” I kissed her on the cheek. “But I truly don’t know how to dance.”
Mindy put her right hand on her head with her palm facing down and pressing the crown of her head. Her left hand was on her left hip. “It’s simple, Ahana didi. Push your left hip up and down.”
I casually scanned the room and adjusted my hands and dress. A few years ago, Mindy had insisted that I
dance with her at her cousin’s wedding she’d attended in Delhi. We had danced with abandon to the beat of a dhol at the henna ceremony.
“OMG! Since when did you become lame, Ahana didi?”
The little brat.
“OK. OK. I’ll try. Don’t be such a grownup with me.” I pulled her cheeks.
Mindy showed me again how it was done. “Now you try.”
“Shouldn’t I wait for some music to play first?”
“Fine.” Mindy, clad in her braces and two-piece traditional Indian clothing ran toward the DJ.
I looked around the room. I couldn’t see Rohan anywhere.
“Boo,” someone said in my ears from behind. I turned around to find Rohan holding a Sazerac in each hand. “It’s Naina and Josh’s big day. Let’s drink to peace.”
I waved a “No” at the drink. “I’m involved in a much more important engagement with her.” I pointed toward Mindy.
Rohan laughed and put both the drinks down.
I whispered. “She wants me to dance with her…and you know how ‘good’ I am at it.”
“I have seen you dance in NYC. Remember?” Rohan whispered back.
“Brady!” I elbowed him.
“I am teasing.” Rohan swirled his drink. “So, why don’t you tell her that?”
“And disappoint her? That’d be mean.”
“I like how you never get tired of doing small things for people. Sometimes, that’s what occupies the largest part of their hearts.” He smiled. “I’ll bring you a glass of red to calm your nerves.”
“Yes, please.”
Suddenly, the music blared. By the time Rohan returned with a glass of pinot noir, Mindy too was back. She tugged at my dress, “You are totes late, Ahana didi.”
“I am sorry.” I gulped down the wine.
“Easy there, tiger.” Rohan smiled as he took the glass from me. I noticed his drink still looked untouched.
I looked at him. “Trust me. I need this right now.”
“You remember the steps?” Mindy sounded like a strict headmistress of an all-girls convent school.
Lightheaded, I spoke with uncertainty.
Suddenly the dance floor was occupied. The DJ played Indian techno music. Mindy started to do the step: one hand on the head, another on the hips. And she moved her hips up and down.
Not sure whether it was the glass of wine on an empty stomach or Mindy’s company. Soon, I started to move too. It felt liberating not to care about what anybody thought. I took off my Louboutins and put them next to the DJ station. “Watch them for me, please, will ya?” I said to the DJ’s assistant.
I returned to the floor. Shaking my head from side-to-side, I jumped along with the others. Mindy taught me to close my right hand into a fist and throw a punch into the air. I twirled her.
Naina pulled me into the center of the room. To the beat of upbeat music, I swiveled my hips. Naina mirrored my steps. Who was this person? The old Ahana would have never moved this way. She would have never allowed herself this freedom. The crowd whistled and cheered us on.
I waved to Rohan, gesturing him to join. He raised his drink but didn’t move.
I walked up to him. “I thought you’d be on fire out there tonight.” My arms were folded across my chest.
“I also know how to burn myself. Staying out here and out of trouble, Matron.” He grinned.
“So unfair.” I threw my arms up in the air.
“All right, Matron. Only for you.” Rohan had joined the rest of us on the dance floor for a few minutes when Naina’s boy cousins joined in. Before anyone could say anything, they lifted Josh on their shoulders and sang, “Balle. Balle.” Josh’s friends chimed in, and suddenly, there was a big circle and a lot of Bhangra dancing.
Once the engagement party was over, which was after 1 a.m., and most guests had left, Rohan said a bye, but Naina insisted, “No way. Join the fun part.”
Masi, Mausa, Naina, Josh, his family, Rohan, and I sat down for a little bit. Naina and Josh organized cappuccino and herbal teas for the small group. The cozy room and warm conversations, how Mumma would have loved this moment.
“You braved the Indian madness, dude!” Naina gave Rohan a fist-bump.
He smiled. “What a fabulous party! Thank you for having me.”
“Tomorrow afternoon, we have organized a small get-together for Josh and my side of the family and a few of our close friends. It’s at my parents.’ You should totally come.” Naina looked at Rohan and then turned to Josh. “Right, honey?”
“I concur.” Josh gently ran his hands over Naina’s shoulders.
“Unfortunately, I fly back to New York tomorrow morning.”
I took off my shoes and rubbed my feet. “Oh, I thought we were taking the same flight back on Sunday evening. No?”
“Sorry, didn’t get to tell you before.” Rohan pressed his temples. “Hedick wants some analytics delivered to Sarah Goldstein—one of the professors at Columbia University.”
“Sarah Goldstein. Oh! The director of the UN women’s initiative whose support and participation would raise the event’s profile and make it a true resource for high-level diplomats and NGO directors?”
“Exactly! Since it’s sensitive information about women in Latin America, Hedick wants me to deliver the flash drive with the analytics personally before our Monday meeting. More importantly, Sarah is available to meet tomorrow; I will stop by the UN headquarters to have her introduce me to the government media liaisons.”
“Do you need me to join you?”
“No, you spend time with your family. I’ll take care of stuff and see you on Monday at the meeting with Dracula.”
“Dracula?” Naina asked in a singsong way.
“My boss, Michael Hedick.” Rohan smiled. “You don’t wanna know.”
* * *
I waited with Rohan as the valet brought out his car. Something about Rohan felt distant and quiet.
“Thank you for making the trip. For just a day?”
“Don’t be formal, Matron. I had a really nice time and loved your family.”
We both stood in silence for about five minutes. The wait for the car was long, since it was Friday night.
“Are you OK?”
“Yeah, why do you ask?” Rohan brought his eyebrows together.
“You seem unusually quiet.”
“You are probably going to hate me for saying this….”
“Try me, Brady.”
He ran his hands over his face. “Your family is so great! They made me feel so welcomed. But a part of me also realizes that I will never have a sense of completeness. A complete family picture.” Rohan looked at the sky. “Everything changed after my mother left. Every time I visit my father, I feel invisible in front of him. I love your stories of India and your family.”
I saw sadness in his eyes.
I held his hand. “I know the feeling, Rohan. Trust me. I have missed Mumma every single hour these past couple of days. I feel abandoned, despite everyone being so loving.”
He pressed my hand. I looked in his eyes. They were moist. I said, “Maybe one day, when you have your own little world, with your wife and kids or whoever makes you happy…it’ll help fill up the empty spaces.” I rested my head upon Rohan’s shoulders. “You’re a good man, Brady. Good things happen to good people.”
“Thanks, yaar.” Rohan smiled.
“See, you already look slightly happier than you were before.” I pulled out my mobile phone from inside my clutch. “Chalo, chalo, let’s take a selfie and capture this moment.”
With one arm around my waist and camera in another hand, Rohan pulled me closer for a photo. He whispered into my hair. “Maybe we are beginning to make a happy picture.”
I gently ran my thumb on the dimple on his chin.
- 21 -
On Monday morning at 6:50 a.m., I was in the office. I had returned to NYC the night before. I figured I’d reach work before the others and settle in before the day began.
“H
ope you meditated this morning,” Crystal, Rohan’s assistant, whispered.
I stared blankly at Crystal’s red hair since her glasses were too thick and I could never tell where she was looking. “Yes, I did. But why do you ask?” I was surprised to see Crystal in the office this early.
“Dracula is here.” Crystal put her right index finger on her glasses to press them back to her face.
“Michael Hedick? Already?” I looked at my watch. He’d set up the meeting for 7 a.m., but I didn’t think he’d be in the office until 7:45. That’s what happened when he visited our Delhi office. He was habitually 45-50 minutes late. But Hedick had been under pressure from Ms. Roy’s contacts lately. Maybe he showed up early because he was feeling trapped and annoyed?
“I feel it’s not for a good reason.” Using her eyebrows, Crystal pointed in the direction of where Michael was standing, which was next to the coffee pot.
I peered into the hallway to catch a glimpse of Michael. “Where is Rohan?”
“He’s not here.” Crystal pulled her short skirt down her meaty thighs and buttocks. “I tried calling him, but his phone keeps going to voicemail.”
“When did you last speak with him?” I whispered softly.
“When he left for the WestTry meeting on Friday morning.”
“I saw Rohan on Friday evening at my cousin’s engagement party in New Orleans. He was supposed to fly back to NYC on Saturday for his meeting with Ms. Goldstein.” I hadn’t checked in with Rohan the rest of the weekend, which wasn’t unusual. We were very good with giving each other space and taking time off from work when we could.
“Rohan was running a high fever on Friday. But he flew to NOLA to attend your cousin’s engagement party?”
I held Crystal’s hands in my palms. “I had no idea.”
Before Crystal and I could complete our conversation, I heard someone call my name. It was Hedick.
“I’ll catch you later.”
* * *
“Good morning, Michael.” I straightened my clothes and tried to remain calm as I offered to shake his hand. Michael had a heavy aura. Maybe it was his height; he towered over everyone, which made people feel smaller. In his company, everything, including my body, felt tensed.
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