She walked away. He smiled as he watched her go, thinking that the look in her eyes betrayed a lively curiosity, despite her claim otherwise. He wondered if it was healthy to be as pleased about that as he was, or if it betrayed an inordinate amount of ego.
He put on jeans and a dark blue Seattle Mariners sweatshirt, and went out to the great room to see what she was up to. She’d found the ironing board and the iron and was busy pressing yards and yards of ribbon in a sort of tropical blue. He peered into the open box and saw a lot of white fabric.
He had the strangest feeling his life would never be the same once she was no longer in it. It would be hard to find the balance of caution and commitment to security that had defined his life, until he’d met Celeste, fallen in love and then learned in no uncertain terms to avoid the pain and humiliation of trusting where trust wasn’t warranted. His life had to be about keeping his head.
But then, he’d helped Cassie escape the paparazzi who’d found her in Texas. Just because she’d asked him to. Maybe he just couldn’t trust himself. From that day to this, his control over anything had been iffy at best.
He hadn’t died from that, he thought philosophically. Was he comfortable with it? Definitely not. She was beautiful, usually fun to be around, but possessed of a certain volatility in several areas that made it impossible for him to relax completely and feel free of all the dangerous possibilities. And that was unheard of for him. It seemed unreal.
So why did he hate the thought that she’d be gone in a few days? It didn’t make sense. And he always tried to make sense.
“Do you need something to eat?” he asked.
“Uh, oh.” With a groan, she set the iron down on its heel. “I forgot to get groceries. I did bring you back a cherry fritter, though. Your mom told me they’re your favorite.”
He arched an eyebrow in surprise. “She did? Thank you. Did you help her find a dress?”
“It’s a suit, and she looks beautiful in it.” He was happy that she seemed pleased. “I tried to convince her that her curves are beautiful. I said that your father must have loved them, and she sort of closed down on me. She has a bad self-image. I apologize for asking, but is he responsible for that?”
He shook his head, remembering how difficult the last few years of his father’s life had been for his mother. “I don’t think he did it deliberately, but he hardly noticed what she did for him during his illness. Just getting from day to day was so hard for him that all he saw was his own struggle—except when she had him take medications he hated and then she became the enemy.”
“I’m sorry,” Cassie said. “Well, we all love her. And I think she likes me a little better now that she understands I’ll be going home. I am sorry about the groceries.”
“Not a problem. I’ll order pizza.” His cheerful expression dimmed. “Anything you don’t like on your pizza?”
“Anchovies.” She crossed her eyes and made an ugly face that made him smile. “Anything else I don’t like, I can pick off.”
“Got it. I’ll place the order when you’re finished.”
“Do you have a ladder tall enough to reach the loft?”
He had started away and walked back to her as she returned to ironing ribbon. “I do. To hang the bunting?”
“Yes.” Her looked seemed designed to reassure him. “You don’t have to do anything, if you can just get me the ladder.”
He looked up at the loft railing then back at her. “It’s fifteen feet to the bottom of the railing.” Grinning wryly, he asked, “Are your legs insured by Lloyds of London?”
“Nothing’s going to happen to my legs. While I might not be as cautious with whom I let in and out of my life as you are, I am physically careful. I learned to be that way in photo shoots where the photographer sometimes forgets that models are not all black-diamond skiers or parasailers, or even runners. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll get the ladder on the condition you let me help you.”
“But it’s fussy. You’ll hate that.”
“Did you not hear a thing I just said about being open to whatever you want to do for the wedding? I can deal with it.”
She made an apologetic face. It was no wonder, he thought, that she was in such demand as a model. It wasn’t just her beauty; she had mobile features, able to project what she felt from moment to moment. And she could go from sadness, to joy, to concern in a heartbeat. “I really didn’t know I was going to get you so deeply involved in my life when I asked you to help me escape Texas. I apologize for that.”
“You didn’t hold me at gunpoint. I left with you because I wanted to. And at this point, your family is composed of most of my friends. We’re like one big urban family, so it’s hard for one life to not be affected by what happens to another.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t want to alarm you, but that’s not a very cautious attitude. You might be setting yourself up for a lot of fuss and drama in your life.”
“You’ve already done that for me. I’ll get the ladder.”
* * *
IN THE INTEREST of simplicity—and of not making Grady spend more time two-thirds of the way up a twenty-foot ladder—Cassie didn’t swag the fabric, but bunched it loosely and tied it to every third baluster so that the impression was achieved without all the measuring and draping. She worked on her stomach on the floor of the loft, reaching her arms through the balusters to help Grady place the fabric, then tying it with the blue ribbon.
When that was finished, she stood side by side with Grady in the great room, looking up to assess their work.
“It looks amazing,” he said. “What’s sparkling?”
“The fabric is called Sparkle Tulle. Isn’t it beautiful? I thought it would pick up the light and sprinkle it around.”
He looked up at the railing and nodded, smiling. “Imagine what it’ll look like when the chandeliers are up. It’s going to turn this place into a sort of hunting-lodge palace.”
“Diametrically opposed terms.”
“Life’s like that.”
He didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t want to say any more about it for fear he’d notice that glamour was taking over his life. At least for now.
“If you can help me with the stair railing at the top few steps coming down,” she said, “I can handle the rest, and you can go order our pizza.”
“Works for me.”
It occurred to her that he was really getting into this, probably without realizing that he’d crossed over into the fussy side. She said nothing, afraid of alarming him with his own enthusiasm. Although, he had admitted to being pumped.
They worked in harmony, relaxed with pizza when their work was finished and watched an old movie on television. She fell asleep halfway through.
* * *
GRADY COVERED HER with the throw on the back of the sofa, put a pillow under her head and pulled off the boots she wore with everything because the shoes she’d ordered still hadn’t arrived. He wondered if they’d come in time for the wedding. What would she do if they didn’t?
He watched her beautiful face in peaceful repose and knew she’d come up with some solution that was bound to be glamorous and clever. She really was remarkable. It had to be difficult to live her life with such an unpredictable issue always hanging over her head. She couldn’t know when someone would sweep her onto an elevator in L.A. or Paris—or inadvertently close a door on her in a room without a light.
Yet she dealt with all of it with good grace, if secretly. She was warm and kind and just about everything a man would want in a woman. Except that she was on the cover of international magazines, in the national news, and her bank account was probably astronomical.
Nobody knew his name, except derelicts and perps, and his bank account kept him comfortable but he would never be rich.
He closed his eyes and
scrunched down on the sofa so he could lean his head against the back. He tried to make mental notes about supplies for the new office, where to find furniture at a reasonable price, but coherent thought fragmented and drifted away before it could form.
He awoke to being kissed. A small table lamp was lit and there was a glow from the television and the low murmur of dialogue. For an instant he felt confused, disoriented. What was he doing in the living room and why...?
Then he realized that a woman’s lips were working gently against his, seemingly trying to get his attention, elicit a response. The woman smelled like a bouquet. Cassie.
It all came back to him, the admission that they held completely different views about life and love, the courtesy they extended one another, anyway, the looks they aimed at each other’s backs that said they wished the situation was different.
Every impulse to be careful, to use his head instead of his heart, to remember to think about the future, came to the fore and he caught her arms and held her away. “Cassie,” he said softly, the sound loud against the quiet background of the television. “What are you doing?”
She was still under his hands, half sitting in his lap, her hair disheveled, her eyes soft with surprise. “I figured it out,” she whispered, her face lighting up with whatever it was. She was like a candle flame in the dimly lit room.
“What?” he asked.
“The thing that’s missing in my life. The thing my heart’s looking for.”
“Yeah?” He hadn’t a clue, even while her eyes roved his face with greedy desire and accelerated his heartbeat.
“You,” she said simply, straining against his hold to lean forward and kiss his lips. Against them, she whispered, “You’re what’s missing, Grady.”
That was crazy. It couldn’t be. Her life was everything his was not. He could not be the missing piece because he couldn’t fit into it anywhere.
Somehow that didn’t seem to matter. His body responded as though they were perfect for one another. For now, alone in the softly lit living room, he wanted to believe there was a way to be a part of her life and make her part of his. He wanted to argue with himself that that wasn’t possible, but he simply hadn’t the will.
She lay in his arms, a soft, fragrant bundle of all the wonderful things a woman should be. All the other things about her that were diametrically opposed to everything he believed held no significance at that point in time. His life had been turned into a place of glamour and fuss where there were chandeliers that stood on the floor, fabric that sprinkled light around the room, where his best friend was about to be married to Cassie’s sister, and any portent of doom was unrecognizable.
He cupped her head in his hand and returned her kiss, reveling in the delicious softness and artful enthusiasm of her lips, enjoying her ardor and her exploratory nibbles on his bottom lip then his earlobe.
He lay her down on the cushions and showed her every emotion inside him, the piercing heat he’d held back for days now because he knew the danger of playing with fire. He kissed her breathless, letting her know his feelings had depth and breadth and would push both of them beyond the relationship they’d tried to keep in a comfortable place.
As her hands bracketed his face, he felt a love so strong it both frightened him and filled him with a scary sense of happiness entirely new to him. Heaven help him. He was in love with Cassidy Chapman.
And she’d told him he was what her life needed.
She put both hands against his chest and pushed back. Staring into his eyes, hers were wide blue pools of turbulent emotion he couldn’t quite define.
“Is this crazy?” she asked, looking as though reality was beginning to descend on her.
He knew about reality. Or, he had once. It was the killer of moments like they’d just shared.
“Yes,” he had to admit.
“Then...it’s stupid?”
“What is?”
“You and me. Us. Together.”
Again he had to be honest. “No.”
She blinked and smiled, clearly surprised by his answer. “You don’t mind that you’re the missing piece of my life?”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“You kissed me like I’m the missing piece of yours.”
“I kissed you,” he said carefully, thinking hard, maintaining honesty, “because I love that you want me.”
She thought about that a minute and sat up, pushing him back as she did. “But not because you need me?”
“I love having you around, Cassie. I love your warmth and your sense of humor, and the fact that you love everyone and everything.”
“But you don’t love me? I mean, I know it’s only been days but...there it is.”
“I don’t know,” he admitted candidly. “Has it even been a full week yet since you fainted in my arms in Texas? Love comes from the confidence of knowing someone and having experience with how they act and react.”
She sighed and her glow seemed to collapse in on itself and disappear. “And knowing they’re not going to turn your home and your life into a crazy place.”
“You make everywhere a crazy place. You can’t help it.” He was coming down from the high of finding her in his arms in the middle of the night. He remembered what she’d done to the life he’d once found so comfortable. Did he still miss that life?
He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t think straight. But just to be safe he said, “And I’m a little more closed off than you are. Maybe it’s selfish, I don’t know. But it’s me. And you’ve just found your family and your whole life is opening up. You can afford to believe in magic, or miracles, or whatever it is.”
Her gaze held depths of wisdom. “So can you. It’s not like your life is over, but you’re trying to live it as though you’re moving into Sarah’s assisted-living facility. As though it’s time to put all adventure aside and let someone else take charge of the rest of your days.”
That hurt a little, but he tried to make light of it. “If I touched you, Jack and Ben would put me in the hospital and possibly I would end up in a nursing home. I’m not sure three days before your sister’s wedding is the time for life-altering discoveries.”
“I think life-altering discoveries come in their own time.” She swung her legs off the sofa, gracefully dodging him as she did so. “But what do I know? You’re probably right. What man in his right mind would want to get mixed up with the daughter of a woman who was a drug addict and died in jail? Who fears small, dark places and humiliated herself in a video that’s been seen all over the world?”
He stood and caught her arm as she tried to walk away. “This has nothing to do with any of that, and you know it. And, anyway...” He spread both arms in exasperation, feeling as upset as she seemed to be. “If you’re afraid of darkness and confinement, why on God’s earth would you want to be in love?”
CHAPTER TEN
GRADY AND BEN walked out of the station, heading for their unit while arguing about breakfast. “I’m stuffed,” Grady insisted. “And you just snagged a maple bar from the break room. How can you still be hungry after the huge breakfast we had?”
Ben took offense. “You might be sharing digs with a great cook who is so grateful for a place to stay that she offers to send you off to work with a big breakfast, but I live with a woman who’s learning to cope with two lively children and is getting married in two days. I get nothing to eat unless I bring it home or steal it from the kids.”
“And you’re not still full from last night?”
The entire family had filled Grady’s great room the night before. His mother had apparently called Cassie just to chat and learned about the impromptu dinner, so she’d volunteered to drop by a dessert. Cassie had been thrilled.
Raspberry cheesecake had always been his favorite and apparently was now everyone else’s, too. There
hadn’t been a crumb left.
He loved the Palmer-Manning family, and the two children Ben and Corie had brought home with them, but he’d been a little unsettled by their constant presence in his home—often all of them, sometimes various combinations of them.
Last night, though, he’d noticed a sort of warm easiness in himself as the big group gathered to eat around a Ping-Pong table Jack and Sarah had brought over. Cassie had spread a fresh bedsheet over it and served dinner after gathering every chair in the house to seat them all.
He’d grown up with a family far less animated, and with less reason for laughter. Or, so it had seemed. It occurred to him for the first time that it was possible the reason for general grimness was not matters from outside but lack of proper attitude inside.
He’d been surprised by how lively his mother had been, already fast friends with Helen Palmer and on cozy terms with Cassie. She’d helped her serve and when Cassie ran out of Parmesan cheese, his mother would have gone home for her own if Cassie hadn’t stopped her. He didn’t remember her ever being this connected to anyone except her immediate family and her three sisters.
It worried him a little to see his mother and Cassie getting on so well, but in another way, he was glad they liked each other. His mother looked so happy, and Cassie hadn’t had a mother. They wouldn’t have each other for long, but for a few days, it would be a good thing.
“Dinner last night was outstanding,” Ben replied. “But I have a high metabolism.”
“Relax. I’ll buy you another maple bar.”
“Now you’re talking.”
During their lunch break, Grady and Ben met the Realtor to sign papers for the office rental.
They stood as Melanie left, then Ben turned to Grady and offered his hand. Surprised, Grady reached out to shake it.
“I appreciate what a good friend you’ve been,” Ben said with a gravity that was unusual for him. “I’m so grateful that you went to Texas to help me out, and that you let Cassie stay with you. I know that isn’t easy for you.”
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