‘Yes, Mr Rivers.’
I can’t be certain that the moon was full, but if it wasn’t it ought to have been. Whenever I think back to that night, I see a white lantern of a moon hanging over the stable yard, the wind shivering in the marram grass. As in a dream, I am both the girl in the scene and some other self, watching her. I see Mr Rivers sliding back the girl’s hair, and I feel the warmth of his fingers on my forehead. I watch that other Elise cross the yard and slip into the dark house.
And then I lay in the dark, staring up at the blackened ceiling beams of my little attic room, twisting my wet plait round my arm, twisting, twisting.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Like Samson I will not cut my hair
Mrs Ellsworth ushered me through the green baize door and into the main part of the house. That door was the dividing line between our domain and theirs, as inviolate as any national boundary. She walked me around the west drawing room, pointing out an alarming array of precious china bells and antique netsuke that I was not to break. A collection of stern-faced ancestors glared down upon me from shadowed walls, the curtains tightly closed to preserve the Chinese silk wallpaper and a Turner seascape of the rocks in Mupe Bay. The painted sea crashed noiselessly against the glistening rocks, as storm clouds swirled. Mrs Ellsworth informed me in a voice heavy with pride that this was the most precious painting in the house, insured for more than a thousand guineas. She paused by the vast stone-carved fireplace, inset once again with the family crest and twining ivy. The yellow sandstone was blackened at the back with soot and smoke, and the ashes of an old fire fluttered in the grate.
‘Each mornin’ you’re to clean out the fireplaces in the main sitting room, the dining room and the mornin’ room. If ladies are visiting in cold weather then you are to go quietly into their rooms and put a match to their fire. Fire must be laid the night before, mind.’
‘Yes, Mrs Ellsworth.’
I stifled a yawn. I had never been so bored. The list of tasks stretched endlessly before me, and I knew with quiet certainty that I would never remember half of them, and a fierce scolding was inevitable.
‘Did you understand how to use the beeswax on the floor?’
‘Yes, Mrs Ellsworth.’
‘An’ you saw how to polish them ornaments without breakages?’
‘Yes, Mrs Ellsworth.’
‘You can come back and finish cleaning in here later. Mr Wrexham likes to show new housemaids how to light a fire properly.’
I hurried after Mrs Ellsworth out into the panelled hall and into a cheerful dining room laid for breakfast. My first lesson had been upon the importance of walking fast: a maid is never idle, and dawdling is idle. For the next twelve months, I must proceed everywhere at a jog, as though upon urgent business of state, even if I were merely returning an eggcup to the pantry. I learnt that a stroll was a privilege of the wealthy. When I thought about it, I had never seen Hildegard amble; she hurried everywhere with the same expediency as Mrs Ellsworth, and even in our quiet hours chattering together in the kitchen, her hands were never still – her knitting needles click-clicked, she darned the tears in my clothes, or dusted sugar over buns plucked from the oven.
In the morning room, a silver coffeepot rested on a hotplate, releasing a delicious aroma and my mouth watered – since my arrival in England I’d had nothing but thick black tea, which I found quite revolting. These curtains were open and the bright sunlight streamed through the tall casement windows. Outside lay a terrace with stone balustrades woven with tangled vines. Low terracotta pots brimming with scarlet geraniums were set at regular intervals beside white-painted tables and chairs, while beyond the terrace, smooth lawns sloped down towards the sea. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t help but smile.
‘Harrumph. Another dawdler,’ said a voice.
I looked around and saw a white-haired man, with the deportment and authority of a conductor, standing beside Mrs Ellsworth. I suppressed a giggle; I’d never actually heard a man say ‘harrumph’ in real life before. It was a word I’d only ever read in storybooks, while trying to improve my English.
‘Elise, meet Mr Wrexham. Mr Rivers’ butler, valet and the head of staff here at Tyneford.’
I hesitated, far more awkward before this austere old man than I had been last night when confronted with Mr Rivers himself. Was I supposed to shake his hand? To curtsy?
‘Most pleased and delighted in the . . . shaping of your . . . acquaintance, sir,’ I said, keeping my hands firmly at my sides.
He stared at me with narrowed eyes. ‘Is the girl attempting humour?’
‘No, I don’t believe so, Mr Wrexham. I think her grasp of the English language is a trifle peculiar.’
‘Well. Give her some improving books. This won’t do. She must be able to wait on English ladies and gentlemen, without causing confusion or embarrassment.’ He pronounced this last word as though it was a capital offence.
‘Yes, very good, Mr Wrexham,’ said Mrs Ellsworth.
The next quarter of an hour was spent with Mr Wrexham schooling me in how to lay and light a fire. I worked my way through most of a box of matches, several sheets of newspaper and all of his patience, but by the time the morning room door opened and Mr Rivers entered, a hearty blaze roared in the hearth. He bade a good morning to the senior servants and, ignoring me entirely, seated himself at the table with his morning paper.
‘Will you be needing anything further, Mr Rivers?’ inquired Mrs Ellsworth.
‘No thank you.’
‘Well, this is the new house parlour maid, Elise,’ she said.
‘Very good. Nice to meet you, Elsie,’ said Mr Rivers, not looking up from his paper.
I felt irritation prickle along the back of my neck. Elsie, indeed. I wanted to grab the top of his wretched paper and crumple it. I’d never been so rudely ignored in all my life. Mrs Ellsworth ushered me outside and thrust a box of cleaning utensils into my arms.
‘Now. You can go and clean the sitting room properly. When you’ve done that, you can start on the bedrooms. Make sure you make them beds up properly, like I showed you.’
I started to walk away at a brisk pace, until she called me back and issued a further slew of instructions in a low voice.
‘Elise. Remember, you must not be visible from the outside. When cleaning the windows, you must duck down and walk away if you ever glimpse any ladies or gentlemen outside on the lawn or terrace. If Mr Rivers enters, you apologise, collect your cleaning things and leave. You must be invisible. You understand?’
‘Yes, Mrs Ellsworth. I am to be invisible.’
My hands bled. My nails split and the fingertips on each hand were raw and sliced with tiny cuts. My legs ached like I’d been running for miles across the hills and I’d pulled every muscle in my shoulders and arms. All I wanted was to lie in a hot bath filled with Anna’s lavender salts and then disappear to my soft bed, with a cup of Hildegard’s special kirsch-laced hot chocolate. Instead, I had to clean and scrub and polish and hurry between chores. The house was vast, many times the size of our sumptuous Viennese apartment, and entirely lacking in modern comforts – certainly none that would make the life of a maid a little easier. I found myself sighing like a lover over the memory of Hildegard’s smart new vacuuming machine. Mr Wrexham caught me gazing out of the small arched window above the side porch, staring at the feathered clouds tumbling across the sky like a clutch of ducklings.
‘Chop chop, girl! If you’ve time to idle, I’ve a list of jobs for you.’
As he clapped his hands at me, I picked up my rag and bottle of vinegar, ran into the nearest bedroom, and set to dusting the mirror and dressing table. A photograph of a pretty young woman in a drop-waist gown, the kind that had been the height of fashion in the twenties, rested on the table beside a tortoiseshell comb and a dish for earrings. I picked it up to dust the glass, and looked at the face. She had a sweet smile, not quite straight, and she squinted shyly at the camera, as though reluctant to have her picture taken. The o
ther things on the table were incongruous: a stash of gentlemen’s magazines, an old copy of the Racing Post and a silver cigarette case. On second glance, I realised that the dish was filled not with earrings but cufflinks. A brown leather armchair was positioned next to the window, and on the sill rested an ashtray. This was a gentleman’s room, not a lady’s. I heard the door open behind me, and whirled round expecting to see Mr Rivers, but Mr Wrexham had glided in, with the smooth grace belonging to the most proficient butlers.
‘This is Mr Christopher Rivers’ room.’
‘Yes. Mr Rivers.’
Mr Wrexham frowned. ‘No, Mr Christopher Rivers. Mr Rivers’ son. He’s up at Cambridge presently. He returns in a few days. May shall clean the room then. You are not to come up here while Mr Christopher is in residence.’
‘Why?’
The question slipped out, before I realised it. Mr Wrexham reddened with displeasure, and I could see that he was debating whether to even answer me.
‘Because Mr Rivers is making a generous concession to your circumstance. Mr Rivers does not think it proper that you should be in a young gentleman’s room, when he is in the house.’
Mr Wrexham reached out and took from me the photograph of the girl, which I hadn’t realised I was still clasping, and replaced it tenderly on the table.
‘The late Mrs Rivers. A fine lady,’ he said quietly, half to himself.
I studied the gentle figure in the frame with her wispy pale hair and tried to imagine her married to the vigorous Mr Rivers. I wondered why it was that all old photographs seemed sad.
The day disappeared in a whirl of dust and exhaustion. May and a gap-toothed girl from the village assisted in the drudgery. I glimpsed a manservant lugging buckets of coal, while a liveried footman carried trays into the library or study. I cleaned four guest bedrooms but none of them seemed to be in use, and held the musty stench of neglect, despite their daily airings. At five o’clock I descended the back stairs to the servants’ hall and tea. A long oak table had been set for supper, and Mr Wrexham sat at one end and Mrs Ellsworth at the other. This was the first time I had encountered all the servants together, and there were fewer of us than I had imagined. At ten to five, the two daily housemaids disappeared away to their own dinners in the village so that there were only eight live-in staff seated around the wooden table, cradling bowls of steaming stew and mash. Two low benches rested on either side of the table, with matching high-backed chairs for the butler and housekeeper. The dark panelled hall was thirty feet long, the table running nearly the length of the room, and easily could have seated a staff of forty. The hall echoed with our voices and I wondered when it had last been full. We would have been much more comfortable in the airy kitchen rather than sitting on the hard wooden benches in the gloom. A faded sampler nailed above our heads proclaimed the dreary motto ‘Work and Faith’, while the wall was studded with little brass bells, each corresponding to a label: ‘study’, ‘drawing room’, ‘master bedroom’ and so forth. More modern electric service bells had been installed in the kitchen and servants’ corridor, and this antique system lent the hall a dismal air. I sat beside Henry the footman (his real name was Stan, but the footman at Tyneford was always called Henry), while Billy the gardener (wild hair unpruned, in contrast to the neat shrubs in his domain) sat shovelling food and speaking to no one. Jim, the kitchen boy, chattered to Peter, the general manservant. May, scullery maid, general busybody and personage most put out by my appearance at Tyneford, sat opposite and watched me with round, piggish eyes, and I felt that if it hadn’t been for the others, she would have snarled at me with her small, yellow teeth.
‘I were supposed to be housemaid. Bin scullery drudge fer five year,’ she said.
I said nothing and scrutinised the brown steaming contents of the bowl before me.
‘You’re not ready for promotion. I can’t have you chirpin’ away to the ladies an’ gentlemen,’ said Mrs Ellsworth, drumming her fingers against the table, and I gained the distinct impression this was an argument that had been underway for some time.
‘Enough,’ commanded Mr Wrexham, eyes narrow with outrage. ‘Elise was engaged under a direct order from Mr Rivers. I will not have his orders questioned in this house. Is that quite clear?’
May bent her head and began to sob noiselessly into her dumplings. Mrs Ellsworth moved to comfort her, but on catching Mr Wrexham’s furious gaze, thought better of it and reached for her napkin instead.
‘Mrs Ellsworth, would you say Grace?’ he said.
All the servants bowed their heads, pressing their hands together, forming triangles above their plates. I did not know what I ought to do. I could not pray. I had been forced to leave my family but I would not become a Christian. I knew that every prayer I uttered would carry me further away from them. I closed my eyes, and sealed my lips tight shut.
‘For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful. We ask you Christ our Saviour to bestow your blessing upon Mr Rivers, Mr Christopher and bless all who live in this house. Amen.’
There was a murmur of ‘Amens’ from around the table and I opened my eyes. Mr Wrexham was looking at me, mouth pursed with displeasure.
‘You do not wish the Lord to bless this house?’
‘I cannot be praying with you.’
‘And why not? Is our God not good enough for you.’
I thought of Anna and Julian and the last night in Vienna. I had never really prayed before that night. I was not sure that I ever would again, but I remembered the honey chant of Herr Finkelstein and his song of the Promised Land. Next year in New York. Until I saw them again, that must be my last prayer.
‘I am a Jew.’
The tone of my voice surprised me. It was strong and clear: an absolute declaration. I had never said those words before; I’d been driven out of my Vienna and across the sea because of them and yet I had never uttered them aloud. There must have been something in my expression, as neither Mr Wrexham nor anyone else ever mentioned my refusal to say Grace again.
There was a loud knock at the door and Art stomped in, wearing a pair of filthy outdoor shoes, caked in muck that stank distinctly like horse manure. Mrs Ellsworth scowled but did not scold him, saying only, ‘Your dinner’s on the warmer in the kitchen. You can go and fetch it yourself.’
I had forgotten about Art, and now wondered why he didn’t dine with us. Peter leant towards me, confiding, ‘Art don’t like ter eat wi’ two-legged uns. ’Ee likes ter munch ’is supper out wi’ th’ horses and cows. But Art likes a meat stew right enuff rather than a bit o’ hay.’ He guffawed loudly at his own joke.
‘Mr Bobbin don’t talk nearly as much poppycock as the rest o’ yer,’ said Art. ‘Can’t blame a man fer wantin’ a bit o’ peace wi’ his dinner.’
I couldn’t blame him at all, and wished I could take my bowl and sneak outside to eat beside Mr Bobbin in the quiet yard. I smiled at Art, and he gave me a quick wink as he left. I felt a flush of happiness at the feeling I had an ally amongst the household. May gazed at me with ill-concealed dislike.
After the meal, we cleared away the dishes into the sink in the back scullery, where May stood up to her elbows in soapsuds, scrubbing and complaining under her breath. The other servants vanished to their duties, while I trailed after Mrs Ellsworth and Mr Wrexham into the kitchen. I hovered in the doorway, not knowing what I ought to do next.
‘Elise. You are to wait at table tonight,’ said Mr Wrexham. ‘Mr Rivers has a guest and it’s Henry’s evening off.’
‘And I’m very happy to take his place, Mr Wrexham,’ said Mrs Ellsworth.
‘No thank you, Mrs Ellsworth,’ he replied. ‘The child must learn. She has been engaged as house parlour maid and she shall fulfil those duties.’
I watched the pair of elderly servants. I guessed that they had lived in this house together for twenty years, and yet they never spoke to one another without using a formal title. Mrs Ellsworth stifled a little sigh and sat down at the kitchen ta
ble. Mr Wrexham laid a fresh place setting around her, and handed me a pair of forks and a willow-patterned dish filled with dried peas.
‘Now serve Mrs Ellsworth her vegetables.’
Every night at supper, one of the maids, or later Hildegard herself, had elegantly placed vegetables and potatoes on my plate. Now that it was my turn, I did not find it so easy. The peas tumbled onto Mrs Ellsworth’s lap, or else I dropped the forks. I was scolded for leaning in too close (this is not a common public house, girl) and for standing too far back (how can you wait on a lady from such a distance? A little common sense, please). After half an hour, Mrs Ellsworth stood up.
‘Excuse me, Mr Wrexham. I have a dinner to cook.’
She walked over to the vast cooking range and clattered pots, while Mr Wrexham returned the dish to its place on the dresser and poured the dried peas back into a jar. He handed me a clean apron.
‘Tonight, Elise, you shall serve the water and collect the empty plates.’
I frowned; I had succeeded in placing nearly all of my last forkful of peas smoothly on Mrs Ellsworth’s plate – only one had disappeared down the back of her neck. I felt quite cheated at being relegated to water duty but decided it was best not to argue.
‘Now sit down,’ said Mr Wrexham.
I sat, wondering what was to be the next lesson. Perhaps the art of the wrist flourish when unfolding a napkin? But then, I felt Mr Wrexham’s hands in my hair. I whipped around to come face to face with a gleaming pair of scissors.
‘No hysterics, please. Your hair must be cut.’
‘No. No. I cannot.’
I backed away from him towards the oak dresser at the far end of the kitchen. My heart pounded in my ears and the stew in my belly bubbled. I kept my eyes fixed on the long blades. I must not blink. Must not blink. In my mind I saw the scissor-man in Struwwelpeter coming at me with his cry ‘snip, snip’, ready to slice off my hair.
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