Shamas let out a long sigh. “I left because yes, I was still in love with you. I thought I could get over you when we broke up. I told myself I did, but when I escaped Lethesanar’s dungeon and ended up here with you and your sisters, I realized that I had just been lying to myself. But you were married, and happy, and I couldn’t do anything but watch. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stand up for us back then. I’m sorry I let you down.”
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my lap, and stared at the forest floor. It was a cold day, but my cloak kept the worst of the chill at bay, and the rain had backed off.
“What’s done is done. I’m happy, Shamas. I don’t hold a grudge against you. Oh, for a while I did, but now? It’s dust in our wake.” I paused, then said, “That isn’t what you wanted to say, though, is it? I can tell.”
He shrugged. “It’s one of the things. Camille, I don’t know how to put this, but…I’m not back for good. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know I’m living on borrowed time. I can’t see the future. I’m here, and I know I’m here for a task, but…please, don’t take it hard if I can’t stay for the long run of things.”
I closed my eyes, his words hitting hard. Even though I meant what I said, I would always love Shamas—in that way you love a treasured memory. The thought of losing him a second time hit deep. The Moon Mother had sent me out to sweep him off the battlefield, and that had been one of the hardest tasks I had ever had to face. I didn’t know if I could do it again, even if she bade me. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, or I knew I’d start crying.
After a moment, he broke the silence. “Are you all right?”
“Getting over you was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. But plucking you out of that battle, bringing your soul into the Hunt, was worse. When I realized that the Moon Mother was sending me after you… Well, it was almost as bad as the time I had to face Menolly after she had been turned.” I stared at the ground for a moment. “I don’t know if I can do it again, Shamas. What if she asks me…”
He wrapped an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can promise this, but when it’s time, I’ll try to keep you from being part of it. You brought me back, Camille. You gave me a second chance. I’ve been trying to redeem myself in your eyes and make you proud of me since the day you found out that I had taken up sorcery.”
“I didn’t give you a second chance,” I murmured. “Fate did. But I’m glad that she brought you back into my life, for however long as you have.” I paused, then added, “Somewhere, deep inside, I knew this. I knew you weren’t back for good. But nobody truly knows how long they have in this world. Hell, I could step outside the door and get hit by a bus. Or get something caught in my throat and I could choke. How many times have my sisters and I come close to death over the years? How many scars do I have on my body from the fights we’ve been through? Life is precarious. Nobody gets out alive, regardless of how many years the Fates have spun out for us.”
Shamas’s shoulders slumped. “I didn’t mean to bring you down. I’m sorry.”
I turned to him, searching his face. “Shamas, I lost my naivete when my mother died and my father set me in charge of the household. I lost my trust when you ran off. I lost my belief in the innate goodness of people when Menolly staggered home after Dredge tortured her and turned her. I learned the hard way that you have to fight for what you want in this world, in this life. And when you get it, you grit your teeth and enjoy what you have because at any time it could be stripped away from you. I live in the present, and I indulge myself as much as I can, because as much as I love my sisters…as much as I love my husbands, when I die, I’ll be the one to face the Moon Mother, and only I will know whether I truly let myself love life and embrace it, or whether I skulked through it, hiding because of fear. I understand reality all too well. You didn’t bring me down. You just confirmed what I’ve been feeling in my bones.”
He took my hands in his, his eyes fixed on my own. “Camille, I have no right to ask this, but…will you kiss me? That’s all I want. I promise I won’t ever ask for more. But one kiss, in honor of the past we had together, and the future we’re facing?”
I let out a long breath, running through the complications it could cause. But I was my own woman, and I had finally accepted that life was too fleeting to ignore the chance to bring a little happiness where I could. I nodded, slowly, leaning in.
Shamas pressed his lips against mine, and I was suddenly back in a field of wildflowers with Shamas by my side, kissing me under the glowing sun on a day when I believed we were each other’s futures. A day before life had thrown more than a few curve balls my way.
But even as I kissed him, the memories swept by, and I realized that for me, the kiss was a shadow of the past. It was no more than a ghost of what we once had. Shamas slowly pulled away and hung his head.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “You really do love them, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Smoky and Morio, my beloved Trillian—they are my world, Shamas. I’ve given my heart to them, and they complement my life. They each bring something to me that I need. I don’t believe that one person can give you everything you need, but together, they give me all that I could want. Love expands. But passion—there’s only so much of that to go around. I will always love you, my cousin, but our day is long gone.”
Then I stood and held out my hand. “Come, we should get back. And Shamas, if the Moon Mother asks, I will be there for you when the time comes, and I’ll do whatever I can to make it easier.” Even as I spoke, the tears in my throat vanished and I heard the Moon Mother whispering in my head, and in my heart.
Have faith, Camille. I am always with you. I will walk with you until the end of your days on this world.
And right then, I realized that above all, my heart belonged to her, and she would forever be with me, even when all the shadows in the world had crept in to cover the light.
IN ADDITION TO Smoky, Morio, and Trillian, I took Venus, Chase, Bran, and Shamas to the meeting. It was important that Joreal meet some of my Keraastar Knights, and these were my captains. That much I knew.
Joreal looked so much like Trytian that it made me catch my breath. As I settled on the sofa, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Joreal was wearing a military duster with brass buttons, and there were stripes on the shoulder that I didn’t recognize but I realized that they must signify his status in the daemon army.
Carter welcomed us in, and he grinned. “Nice wings,” he whispered.
I blinked. I wasn’t showing them, but then again, he was a demigod, so I shouldn’t be surprised. I laughed. “Good catch. Are the others here yet?”
“No, but they’re on their way.” He motioned to the tea cart. “Something to eat?”
Carter had spread out extra chairs in the living room to accommodate everybody. I sat between Smoky and Trillian, opposite Joreal. Smoky reached for one hand, while Trillian reached for the other. I had told them in private about kissing Shamas. I’d learned not to keep anything like that secret, even if it was something that had been unavoidable. Now Smoky glowered at Shamas a little, but when I explained why I had done it, he had relented and I wasn’t worried that he was going to go off on my cousin.
It seemed weird to make small talk with a daemon general, but I was determined to try.
“I wanted to thank you again for your help, yours and Trytian’s.” I held Joreal’s gaze, trying to read what lurked behind those impassive eyes.
He returned my look, steady and unblinking. “No thanks needed. Shadow Wing is a menace to everyone and everything. We must defeat him. My son was doing his duty, as were you.” He shifted in his seat, then let out a soft breath. “I suppose we should dispense with standing on ceremony. You may call me Joreal. May I call you ‘Camille,’ Your Majesty?”
I was surprised he even asked. I had expected him to just dive in without asking permission. “Of course,” I murmured.
“Once your sisters arrive, we should get right to the heart of the discussion. I don’t have a lot of spare time.” He shifted again, which told me he was uncomfortable.
“Please don’t feel awkward—” I started to say, but Joreal arched his eyebrows and snorted.
“Uncomfortable? I think you mistake my impatience for discomfort. I have ten thousand troops waiting for me to give them marching instructions, and I cannot do that until we discuss the next step with you. I’m not feeling awkward. I just want this settled.”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to stifle a laugh, but a snicker escaped.
Joreal stiffened. “You find my words amusing?”
I cleared my throat, forcing the laugh back. “No, not at all. Well…” I hesitated, then said, “You remind me so much of your son. He was always charging ahead, and so full of himself. He was also a pain in the ass—he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.” I hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but there it was.
Joreal froze, looking like he was trying to decide how to respond. Finally, he relaxed, sitting back against the chair cushion. He crossed one leg over the other, his ankle resting on his knee.
“That sounds like my son. He had a good head, but he couldn’t control his impulses. I tried to train him better than that, but you know how children can be. I apologize for his behavior. Demons may be grabby, but among our kind, we pride ourselves on our self-control.”
It was my turn to look confused. I hadn’t expected an apology from him, and I hadn’t been fishing for one, either.
“Trytian was a pain, but he came to our aid. So I suppose in the end, it doesn’t really matter,” Morio murmured, deflecting the conversation for me.
At that moment, the doorbell rang, interrupting the conversation. Relieved, I cleared my throat and turned to Smoky, squeezing his hand. He looked like he was about ready to break out laughing, and I realized he had been following the conversation with amusement. Sometimes, his sense of humor was annoying as hell.
Carter returned with Menolly, Nerissa, Delilah, and Shade. They settled down, squeezing into the narrow living room with the rest of us. My Knights had kept quiet, and I realized they were waiting for my permission to speak. Bran had become bearable in the months since I had made him a Keraastar Knight, even though I was still leery of Raven Mother’s son. But before I could say anything, Joreal spoke up.
“I received further news from my men today. Shadow Wing has totally gone over the edge. He’s foraging on his followers, sucking the life out of as many of his soldiers as he can to increase his own power. Some have run off, but others are offering themselves to him willingly. His rule has become a suicide cult. But in the process, he’s absorbing enough power so that he’ll soon be able to break through the veils to enter either Earthside or Otherworld. We have to make our move.”
Carter interrupted. “Joreal is correct. Before too long, he’ll have enough raw power to break through any of the rogue portals, and I happen to know that a few have manifested over in the Sub-Realms. If he’s aware of their location, all hell will break loose as soon as he feels strong enough to tear open the fabric that cordons off that world from ours. Or from Otherworld, depending on the portal.”
When the Great Divide had occurred, the Great Fae Lords had created the Spirit Seal, which sealed the realms away from each other. Then they had broken it into nine pieces and sent them as far away from one another as possible. If they were reunited—as in touching one another—again, they would reverse the rips in time and space that they originally fashioned, and the resulting chaos would disrupt—and destroy—a vast swath of both Earthside and Otherworld.
But as time went on, the Fae in Otherworld began creating portals between Earthside and OW. In addition, because the Great Divide had never been meant to happen in the natural order of things, rogue portals began forming on their own, but they were unstable and flickered in and out. Eventually, the entire fabric of the Great Divide would fail, and when that happened, the worlds would merge again, amidst a natural disaster of epic proportions. We weren’t sure how to prevent that, but we could prevent Shadow Wing from taking matters into his own hands.
Delilah spoke up. “Now that we know his secret about the soul receptacles, and we know that the only way to defeat him is through Camille and the Keraastar Knights, I guess—there’s no more reason to wait, is there?”
I swallowed. Hard. “No, there isn’t.” Taking a deep breath, I said, “The Moon Mother is with me. She’ll lead me in what I need to do. My power is strongest on the dark of the moon, so I suggest we wait till then to gate him over. Today is Thursday, and the new moon is next Monday night. Let’s just do this. Get it over with.”
Even as I spoke, I felt like I was sealing our fate. But this was what we had been aiming toward for four years now. This showdown. And it was time. I could feel it in my bones—it was time to take him on. Thanking the gods we didn’t have to go down into the Sub-Realms to do so, I turned toward the others.
“Are you ready for this?” My voice was shaking, but oddly enough, my nerves were steady.
Delilah glanced at Menolly, who nodded. “The new moon it is. But is Shamas powerful enough to cast the Demon Gate we need? We do have Yerghan’s blade as an anchor. Shadow Wing gave it to Yerghan, so it has a connection to him.”
I turned to Shamas. “Do you think you can do it?”
“I may need some backup,” he said after a moment. “Do you know anybody who could help? What about Wilbur?”
“He’s a necromancer, but he’s strong enough to cast at least a demon gate of moderate size, so he can probably feed you energy.” I paused, not wanting to bring Wilbur into it. But if Shamas thought he needed help, then we damned well better have backup there for him.
“I’ll ask him,” Menolly said. “I’ll drop by there after the meeting tonight. Nerissa and I were going to head out to Grandmother Coyote’s field so Nerissa can have some time in her puma form, anyway.”
“Yeah, it’s been awhile,” Nerissa said. “We’ll ask him and text you with the answer. If not, though, what do we do? I don’t think we know any other sorcerers, do we?”
“I do,” Joreal said. “I have a few in my army. If you can’t get this…Wilbur…to help, then I can bring one over.” He hesitated for a moment, then added, “But it would be better if you have someone you know you can absolutely trust.”
“That still leaves us with one problem,” Morio said, speaking up. “What to do between the time he shows up, and Camille and the Keraastar Knights surround him and do whatever it is they’re going to do to him? He’s a Soul Eater, and unhinged at that. He could easily take out several of us in that time.”
“That’s where I come in,” Joreal said. “I will send you twenty of my strongest fighters. They can keep him occupied while Camille and the Knights prepare. I have to say, the Great Fae Lords were stupidity incarnate when they thought up the whole spirit seal plan. It just insured that Shadow Wing is invincible without the Knights.”
“We aren’t disagreeing with you on that.” I shook my head. “They didn’t think about the long-term ramifications of their actions. You do realize, we’re about to make history with what we’re undertaking. If there are any details that set the tone for the future, we’d better think them over far more carefully than our forebears did.”
“Camille’s right,” Smoky said. “This is why we dragons usually keep to ourselves.”
“Dragon?” Joreal glanced over at him. “Oh, you’re that dragon. Trytian had a grudge against you, though I doubt it matters now. No doubt over your woman.”
I coughed. “I’m my own woman. I belong to no one but myself.”
“Well, excuse me,” Joreal said, but a twinkle sparkled in one eye and I had the feeling he approved. “No offense meant.”
“None taken, as long as we understand each other.” I leaned back as Smoky draped one arm around my shoulders. “So, strong warriors to keep him distracted? That might actually work. Where the he
ll are we going to do this? If we gate him into Otherworld, we have a better chance to keep him from destroying others. But there’s also a better chance for him to escape.”
“I think it’s a good choice, though,” Menolly said. “Gate him over there and we’ll have more room to maneuver around. The population centers are less dense and less frequent. Let’s face it, there are a lot fewer of people living over in Otherworld than there are here.”
“True.” I thought it over for a moment. “Not only that, but if we take the fight over there, we don’t risk humans finding out about the demons. We’ve been able to quash most of the rumors here, but if we gate in Shadow Wing and something goes wrong, word would get out and that would be bad. Very, very bad.”
“Yeah, the feds would take a nuke to him and just make him stronger.” Delilah grimaced. “Demons eat uranium for breakfast. It’s like a steroid for them.” She glanced at Joreal. “What about the Daemonkin? Does uranium beef you guys up, too?”
Joreal stared at her like she had asked him if he had two heads. After a moment, he replied, “Not exactly.” Abruptly changing the subject, he turned back to me. “So, now that you’ve decided to enjoin him in Otherworld, where exactly will you go?”
I thought about that. We couldn’t, in all good conscience, take the battle near a city. And we sure as hell didn’t want to take him down into the Southern Wastes where the ragtag remnants of sorcery still played out. Any sorcerers still living there would do whatever they could to help the Demon Lord.
“What about Thistlewyd Deep, the home of the Black Unicorn?” And right then, I knew I needed to ask both him and Raven Mother to help. I would be wearing not only the Keraastar diamond, but I would be carrying the unicorn horn and wearing the cape woven out of his hide.
As I spoke, a chill seemed to pass through the room and everyone fell silent.
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