by Sand, A. J.
“That’s true. But you won’t have to with the right ones.” After a few tentative steps, she puts her arms around me and presses her head to my chest. A calming sensation pulsates between us. I’ve never believed in anything supernatural, but I feel my mom’s presence suddenly. It’s not even something I’ve felt at her grave. It’s unexplainable but it warms me with reassurance. I hold Barbara tight against me.
Everything is going to be okay.
In the morning, the four of us have a tearful good-bye. I give HJ about a million hugs because my chest hurts too much every time I pull away. I’m not really sad, though. I have a family again, and no amount of time, space and distance can ever change that. Once Drew and I are in the car, I keep my eyes on the rearview mirror until HJ and Barbara fade. I don’t say anything, but Drew squeezes arm until we reach I-35 and we’re out of Glory. I love her for always making sure I’m okay. I love that we will always do that for each other.
“What are you smiling about?” She strokes my neck.
“You.”
“Why me?” She runs her thumb along my cheek.
“Because I love you and it’s the best feeling in the world. I always want to be someone worthy of loving you. You’ve helped me become that person.”
“I wish I could take credit, but I think you just started loving yourself, babe. The person you really want to be, the person you are. I guess you finally started listening to your mom.”
“She gave great advice, didn’t she? I just wish she were here to see the two of us, still in it together. I wish she could see the kind of woman you have become—brave, strong, smart, amazing, really sexy…” I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it.
She giggles. “I don’t think your mom would care about me being sexy, Jess.”
“Okay, yeah, threw that part in for myself. You’re sweet, too. I think my little brother is in love with you. God, that feels so good to say. My little brother.”
Drew nods. “I can’t wait for him to come visit us. Did you see his face when you gave him that hat last week? I think he thought it was the Holy Grail. Do you think he ever takes it off for longer than a few minutes? He loves you so much. I can’t wait for him to hear everything you were willing to do for him, someday.”
“And what I will always do for him.”
“It’s because you’re still a fighter, Jesse Chance. You know, I was thinking about it, and I don’t think fighting has to stop being a part of who you are. Once again, you listened to your mom and started fighting the right way.”
“You’re right. Like always.” It’s early enough in the day that we’re cutting through South Texas in record time, even with a few pit stops along the way. And we save our last one for Beaumont—about half an hour outside of the Louisiana border—opting to eat shady gas station food to commemorate our last meal in Texas for a while, and knowing that has me a little nostalgic.
“What would you have named her?” I ask as we split a Twinkie while the car is filling up. “Our baby.”
“Jacob,” Drew says, giggling. “No way a guy like you steals my heart and drives me crazy, and it’s not preparation for a boy, who was going to do the exact same thing. No way.” Jacob. We’re definitely still naming our future kid Jacob. Jacob Miguel Chance. I hop out to put the gas nozzle back on the pump. “No more dwelling on the past, though, okay? Fresh start, remember?” she says when I get back into the car. “So, how about this? I dare you to drive until we run out of gas. Aww, it’s not as cool when you have a place to stay, is it?”
“Well, we don’t move in for a few days, so technically we don’t have anywhere to go once we get to Louisiana.” We pull away from the gas station and head for the highway.
Drew leans over and kisses my stubble. “Perfect. Then I dare you, Jesse Chance.” She kicks her feet up onto the dash.
“You sure?”
“Yes. One-hundred-percent. I’ve got everything I need right here. I dare you. Let’s see where we end up.”
So, I step on the accelerator and we go. Windows down. Radio up. Drew and me. Just us. I have no idea what’s ahead, but I don’t have to worry about where I’ve been or who I have to be. No ghosts. No Henry. My past is in my rearview. My future is somewhere beyond the haze of the city.
And I’ve never felt freer.
The End
Acknowledgments
Shelley – What can I say that hasn’t already been said? You have become such a good friend of mine over the last year. Thank you for pushing me and being honest with me and yanking me back from the ledge countless times. Every time I swear I’m quitting writing, I remember that if not for it we never would’ve connected. I owe you so many drinks. Love you, girl!
Arijana – You absolutely ROCKED the cover of AFC. You are a creative genius and yet so humble, and I’m looking forward to the day when all your cover designs are in bookstores. Thank you. I will always be grateful and touched by your work <3
Courtney – Thanks for the awesome gchats! Really helped when I was seconds away from going crazy. LOL.
Cameron – Thanks for fixing my hot mess. I’m learning some impulse control because of you! LOL.
The people who I force to read my first drafts (read = laugh at).
Everyone who signed up and read the ARC to this book when I was freaking out about whether it was something people even wanted to read: Whoa, thank you!
Huge thank you to all the bloggers who signed up for the ARC tour, again when I was freaking out about whether anyone would even want to read it.
To all the readers: Thank you for being there through the ups and downs. I love your support and friendship and humor. You guys rock!
A.J. Sand grew up an only child whose parents bought her many, many books to keep her busy, so it was only natural that she would start writing her own stories. She is the author of “Documentary,” “Remake” and “Recklessly.” She lives just outside of Washington, D.C.
Twitter: @ajajajsand
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ajajajsand
Blog: http://ajswritingreallyblows.blogspot.com/