It wasn’t a lie.
Travis closed his eyes with a long sigh. When he opened them again, he gave me the same disappointed look my dad did when I was twelve and shoplifted at Big 5. “She asked you not to bring it up again? What the hell did you say to her?”
“Just that I don’t see her that way and how I was sorry.”
“You were sorry.” He shook his head. “What did I say about your fucking apologies? You better not have screwed shit up with her.”
“It’s just an awkward situation. It’ll get better with time. I swear.”
Travis grunted like he didn’t believe me.
I wasn’t sure I believed me either.
“So did you pick out a puppy?”
Travis cursed. “I should’ve known that was coming. You are not foisting one of those wiggling rats on me.”
* * *
It’d been a while since I’d done the whole meet-the-father thing. Senior prom actually. And back then, while I’d had dirty thoughts about the girl, I hadn’t done much more than kiss her. I’d done a helluva lot more with Sabrina. That plus her dad coming-back-from-the-dead thing made the whole thing weird.
But Sabrina had asked, and I couldn’t say no.
So here we sat, an awkward party of three, at an outdoor table at the Iron Horse Tavern.
Or maybe it was all me. I couldn’t forget the last time Sabrina and I had been here. Making out at the table. Joking about screwing in an alley. Travis and Jay interrupting our make out session. Back when everything had been so normal.
Before.
More than anything I wanted to get back there—be that man for Sabrina again—but I still held so much damn shame. And I wore the scars that ensured I wouldn’t forget any of it. No matter how much I wanted to.
“Logan?”
I blinked back into focus at Sabrina’s voice. “Sorry, what?”
“Everything all right?” Sabrina gave me a pained smile like she was just as haunted by the location of dinner as I was. Her dad had picked the restaurant and she’d offered to relocate dinner, but I waved off her apologies. I was an adult. It was just a restaurant.
Ha. Famous last words.
“No, I’m fine.” I gave Sabrina a forced smile. “What’d I miss?”
“I was just telling my father all about going to college, so nothing really. You know all my stories.”
“Ah, so have the two of you been dating for a while?” Brian, Sabrina’s dad asked with raised eyebrows.
“On and off.” Sabrina shrugged. “Mostly off, but now we’re on again.”
“Right.” Brian nodded like he understood, but judging by his frown he found me lacking.
Sabrina reached over and patted my thigh. “We met two years ago and dated for a few months, but then Logan was in an accident, and was in and out of hospitals and physical therapy.” She shook her head. “We only got back in touch recently.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” her dad replied, eyeing the visible burn on my neck. “Are you all healed?”
I smiled tightly. “Getting there. Sabrina convinced me to go see a therapist and that’s helping.”
“Nothing wrong with asking for help.” Brian sat back in his chair with a sigh. “I think if my ex and I had done that sooner we would’ve saved everyone a lot of heartache. Especially Sabrina and Jacqueline.”
“Jacqueline?” I frowned. That name wasn’t familiar.
“My daughter with Alison. Sabrina’s half-sister. She uh, didn’t exactly have the best childhood, and I know that’s a hundred percent on me.”
Sabrina froze.
Not that her father noticed. Brian was lost in his own recount of past wrongs. “I keep thinking about all the could’ve beens, should’ve beens. I missed out on everything in your life, Sabrina. But Jacqueline…” He sighed and shook his head. “Jacqueline grew up in a war zone. We were so goddamn miserable. Held hostage by Alison’s mood swings and bitter attitude. I know I had a part in how our marriage fell apart, but she never forgave me for seeing your mom when we first broke up, and before we were married. Looking back, I should’ve left her when Jacqueline was younger. No kid should grow up with miserable parents and no siblings.”
He grew silent for a moment then blinked back into focus. Shaking his head, he gave a sad smile to Sabrina that she tried and failed to return. Her hand curled around mine, gripping tight.
Brian’s eyes narrowed in on our joined hands. “Do you have kids, Logan?”
I couldn’t tell if it was a getting to know you kinda question or what the hell was going on. Still I answered politely. “No, sir.”
“Huh.” He grunted. “You always think you’re going to do better than your parents, ya know? Mine were divorced as long as I could remember and constantly changing spouses and houses. It was so miserable. I never knew where or who I was coming home to. So I thought staying with Alison was better for my kid. Little did I know I had another one who didn’t know me from Adam.”
Sabrina’s breath hitched like she’d just absorbed a physical punch. “I still can’t believe she did that to me. To us. I spent my entire life wishing that my father was alive. Mom was so torn between the restaurant and my brothers and me. I kept hoping that she’d fall in love and marry someone so we could be a whole family; she’d have someone to lean on, and I’d finally have a father. I just can’t…”
Sabrina pushed away from the table with a screech of her chair. She stood up and waved a hand when we moved to stand as well. “No please. I’m just going to head to the ladies’ room. I need a minute.”
Brian and I watched in silence as she entered the restaurant, leaving the two of us alone at the table.
I wanted to chase after Sabrina because I knew she was hurting so much. I wanted to do anything I could to make her feel better. It hurt me to see her in so much pain.
And also because I was still kinda rusty with the whole social skills thing. But I knew Sabrina didn’t want me to follow her. She hated anyone making a fuss over her, especially in public. There was nothing I could do but be here for her when she came back.
Drumming my thumb restlessly against the tabletop, I avoided making eye contact with Brian. I craned my neck to look at the door Sabrina had disappeared through. Maybe I should follow her. I’d give about anything to not be here right now.
Brian groaned and when he spoke his words were muffled. “I don’t think I handled that very well.”
I turned back to the table and found Brian hunched over with his face in his hands. He wouldn’t look at me as he sat up slightly and swiped at the moisture on his face.
I cast one more pained glance at the door behind me then sighed. “I think you’re handling it as best as you can. No one can ask for any more than that.”
Brian laughed huskily. “How many therapy sessions did you say you’d been to?”
“Just one so far, but the therapist said he wants to see me every week so…”
“I don’t know. Sounds to me that you’ve got a pretty good handle on your shit compared to most.”
“It’s easier to have opinions on shit that I’m not truly in the middle of. What do they call that? Armchair quarterbacking?”
“You care about Sabrina, right?” Brian sat back in his chair with a sigh.
“Yes, sir. I do.” I answered without even thinking about it. Like a reflex.
“Sounds to me, then, that you’ve got a dog in this fight. She might try to cover it up with that whole on and off again B.S., but I can tell when two people have feelings for each other. She looks at you the same way that Wendy used to look at me. And you keep looking at that door like your whole world is about to walk through it.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that. Sabrina and I might be together, but we sure as shit hadn’t had the whole where is this going, exclusive or not, relationship talk yet. Hadn’t really had it before I left to fight wildfires two years ago. My skin felt itchy, like it wasn’t mine or was too small for my body.
But Brian co
ntinued talking, mostly to himself at this point. “As pissed off as I am about Wendy not telling me about Sabrina, I kinda understand why she did it.”
“Do you?” Sabrina asked from behind me. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”
Brian and I jumped. Neither of us had noticed Sabrina approaching the table. Now she stood behind her chair with her hands holding the back in a death grip.
“I know you’re mad at her, honey. I am too.” Brian shook his head. “But I also know she loves you so much. I think it was just her way of protecting you. The only reason I left her was because Alison was pregnant with Jacqueline. I’m pretty sure I was already married when Wendy found out she was pregnant too. Your mom didn’t want you to be second best in my eyes.”
Sabrina made a choking sound as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Second best would’ve been a helluva lot better than nothing.”
I untangled my crossed feet to get them under me, but before I could stand, Brian was up and around the table, pulling her into his arms.
“But you wouldn’t have been second best. I swear to God. I love you Sabrina, baby. I wish I could go back in time and be there for you and show you how much I would’ve loved you. I hope you’ll give me the chance now. I know you don’t need a father anymore, but I’d love nothing more than to occupy a small corner of your life, and maybe in time your heart too.”
“You already do.” Sabrina’s words were muffled since her face was buried in Brian’s shoulder. They were both breathing hard as their bodies shook. My eyes burned at the naked emotion in front of me.
I felt no shame when a tear rolled down my face.
Chapter Thirteen
Sabrina
I couldn’t bear the awkward silence in the cab of Logan’s truck for another minute. “So, uh, that was kinda intense, huh?”
“What? Uh, yeah.”
Really? That was all he had to say? I wracked my brain for something—anything—to say. “I swear it hasn’t even been that way with him before. Mostly a lot of stilted conversation as we tried to get to know each other. But tonight…I don’t know. It was like a dam burst. We were all full of pent up emotion, and it kinda spilled all over you. Not exactly the dinner I thought it was going to be.”
Logan frowned as he signaled to turn onto my street. “You sound like you’re apologizing for it.”
“I, uh, I feel weird about the whole thing. I just—”
“Well don’t.” Logan pulled his truck to the side of the road in front of my place. “I think it was fucking amazing. You guys were so…I don’t know. In tune with each other? I mean you didn’t know the man weeks ago and then that whole thing happened tonight.” He shrugged. “I’m glad you got to connect like that. It was kinda beautiful, really.”
“I was full on snot crying. What the heck could you find beautiful about that?”
“I think everything you do is beautiful.”
“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.” I’d seen what my little crying jag had done to my face. Smeared makeup. Puffy red eyes. It wasn’t pretty.
Although having Logan say it did make me feel so much better about bringing him along tonight. I’d been so worried that given the emotional turn the night took he wouldn’t be comfortable.
Plus I felt really damn good that he’d thought I was beautiful.
I gave him a soft smile. “Thanks.”
“No problem, angel.” Logan smiled back at me then turned his attention to the other side of the windshield. “So.”
“So.” I echoed, devouring his gorgeous features with my eyes. He was so damn good looking. If anything, the scars on his neck just gave him a tougher, edgier vibe. Although knowing the amount of pain he’d endured and the vulnerable side of him I’d seen, made him almost perfect in my eyes. A complex mix of tough and soft.
That warm feeling he’d given me spread from my chest to a location a little more south. “You want to come in for a coffee?”
Logan’s eyes slid back to me and the heat in them had nothing to do with the offered coffee. “I think I got time for a cup.”
I tipped my head and pushed the car door open without waiting for him. I knew if he touched me right now, it would all be over. And I’d had enough public scenes for a while.
Instead of waiting, I took off for my front door without looking back. I’d left the outside lights on since I knew it would be a late night. They cast a harsh glow over my tiny front yard. I shoved my key in the lock and pushed the door open before Logan had even reached the front step.
Once inside, I hovered uncertainly for a moment. I didn’t really want to make coffee. It would keep me up all night and not in the sexy fun way. But I didn’t know how to transition us from awkward, heavy silence to the part I really wanted to get to.
Logan stepped inside with a blank expression.
Deflated, I turned toward my kitchen. “I’ll just go see if I have any decaf.”
I knew I didn’t, but at least it gave me something to do.
“Sabrina.” Logan grabbed my hand before I could take a step and pulled me back to him. My other hand came up reflexively and braced against his chest. His very hard, muscular chest. I still had yet to see him topless, and after last night I knew it might be a while before he was comfortable showing me, but I didn’t mind. I could wait.
Maybe. God, he was muscular.
“I didn’t come inside for coffee,” Logan grumbled above my head since I was still contemplating the hard planes of his covered chest.
“That’s good because I don’t think I have any. And I definitely don’t have decaf.” I chanced a glance up and found him staring intently back at me, the desire unmistakable in his eyes.
“Guess I’ll just have to take a rain check then.” His head tipped closer with every word until his lips hovered just above mine. I could feel his breath on my face as he spoke. “Or better yet, we could go get some coffee together tomorrow morning.”
I barely had time to realize what that meant, and then he was kissing me.
I groaned and wrapped my arms around his neck as I came up on my toes, doing anything I could to get closer. Logan groaned in answer, wrapping his arms around me. Then he shifted, grasped me around my hips, and lifted me to eye level so I could wrap my legs around his hips. He stumbled from the shift in weight and leaned against the wall behind him.
We kept kissing the entire time. His tongue swept into my mouth, rubbing against mine, sending electric shocks all through my body. I moaned and tilted my head to give him better access. And he took it. He took everything I had and demanded more.
I wanted to feel his hands on my body. I wanted to feel his body under mine. I pulled away with a gasp. I also really needed to breathe. “Let’s take this into the bedroom.”
Without missing a beat, Logan’s lips cruised along my jaw before dipping to the tender skin on my neck. He muttered something under his breath and then suckled my skin deep into his mouth. A jolt surged through my body at the intense sensation. My nipples puckered into throbbing peaks, and I felt an answering pang between my thighs where my sex was currently rubbing against Logan’s fly.
And then I realized what he just did. I pulled away from him with a glare. “Did you seriously just give me hickey? Like we’re fucking teenagers or something?”
“Uh, I guess I did.” Logan bent his head and nuzzled the side of my face. “What’s the big deal?”
“Seriously?” I shoved against his chest and untangled my body from his until I could stand on my own two feet. I couldn’t think when I was rubbing against him like that. The man was seriously lethal to my functioning brain cells. “The big deal is that I’m not a teenager, and I have to see people tomorrow. Do you realize the amount of shit my family is going to give me?”
“Uh, sorry?” Logan hitched a shoulder and yet did not look the least bit apologetic. “But it’s not like it was a conscious action. It just felt like the thing to do at the time. You wanted to breathe and my lips had to touch you somewhere.”
&nbs
p; I rolled my eyes. I wanted to be annoyed, but he looked so damn gorgeous, and I had a million naughty hormones racing through my system. I reached over and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”
“Wait. You’re seriously kicking me out because I gave you a hickey?”
“No.” I sighed and tugged him in the opposite direction from the front door. “We’re going to the bedroom.”
“Ah.” He didn’t say anything else as he let me lead him down the hallway to my bedroom.
I pushed open the door, pulled him into the room, and stopped next to my bed.
Logan cupped my cheek in his hand. “Sabrina, I really—”
Whatever he was going to say was cut off as I put my hands on his chest and shoved him so that he fell onto his back on my bed. I pulled my shirt off over my head then crawled up the bed to straddle his hips.
Logan’s eyes flared with desire, and whatever he was going to say was forgotten as his hands came up and cupped my aching breasts. In a move much more dexterous than he was capable of last night, he had my bra unhooked and flying across the room in seconds. And then I was bare, with his delicious fingers on me. “You are so fucking gorgeous. Do you know that this was all I could think about today? I had a hell of a time trying to hide my raging boner from the guys at work.”
My laughter ended in a groan as his fingers teased and plucked my engorged nipples. Christ, that man had a way with his fingers. Just the thought of what he’d done with those fingers last night—or maybe what he was doing to my breasts now—made me grind against his hips. Our jeans rubbed against my aching clit in a way that had me wanting so much more, and for it not to stop, all at the same time. “How far are you comfortable going tonight? Because I think I might die if I don’t get to feel you inside me soon.”
He chuckled darkly. “I think I can figure out how to satisfy you. I didn’t exactly hear you complaining last night.”
I groaned. That was so hot and yet didn’t answer my question at all. I opened my mouth to say as much, but Logan made every thought I had fall out of my head as he pulled me down so his lips could reach my nipples.
Spark: A Bad Boy's Second Chance Romance (Burns Brothers Book 3) Page 11