She placed a hand on his cheek, and he felt warmth rush through him. How he wished he could pull her into his arms as he did before, but he did not dare. For if he kissed her now, he would not be able to stop himself from taking her right there and then.
“You are a good man, Stephen,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
For a few moments they remained silent. They both hurt, but he suspected that their admissions had begun a healing they both needed. Another reason for which he should be thanking her.
They both sighed at the same time, which made them laugh as one.
“Now that all of that is out of the way,” he said, standing, “we should return before everyone begins gossiping about what happened here between us.”
Constance laughed as she allowed him to help her rise. “Oh? And what might they say?”
“They would wonder how a lady of high standing such as she would allow herself to be found alone with a rogue like he. Of course, the women would argue that I am no rogue but rather handsome and brave.”
Constance’s laughter was light and airy and touched his soul. “You listen to me,” she said in a harsh tone that surprised him. “I will not be the subject of your tales of conquest!” She narrowed her eyes and poked at his chest. “So, you had best not be the instigator of such tales.” Then she laughed. “Sally taught me that, and I’m glad to see it worked. You were frightened, admit it!”
“Frightened? Me? I am not afraid of anyone, especially you!”
As they returned to the main part of the camp, their banter continued. Though he was pleased the comfort of being in each other’s company had returned, he could not shake off the sadness that they could not have more than friendship. However, he wanted what was best for her, and being with him was not that. Regardless, he would continue to provide and help her and her sisters, and though he could not give Constance what he truly wanted - his heart - he would at least be able to see she was safe from harm.
Chapter Thirteen
Constance ate a small breakfast near one of the fire pits as those around her chatted about this or that. Her thoughts, however, were focused on the conversation she had shared with Stephen the previous day. It made her sad to hear his story, but what saddened her more was the fact they would be unable to pursue what pulled at her heart.
Stephen was right, though, for he had more important matters to attend to, and she was willing to step back and allow him to do what needed to be done.
The sun was bright in the sky, and she had plans to spend the day learning woodscraft. Stephen was to teach her how to listen for particular sounds so as not to be caught by surprise as well as how to move silently through the underbrush. She had tried to learn on her own, but she may as well have been a bear crashing over every crunching leaf and staggering over every fall log she was so loud. Plus, she had yet to catch Stephen before he sneaked up behind her one more time, sending her heart into a flurry.
As far as she was concerned, she would learn. The knife she carried in her belt still gave her cause for worry, but she had grown more comfortable as she practiced using it. Despite her failure at following directions while rescuing the sisters from Hartford, she had been invited to accompany members of the camp on several more rescues, though she kept herself hidden so she could observe. By doing so, she had learned much, and she hoped an invite would come her way soon to join in the actual act of rescuing.
Emma and Mary now sat beside her, laughing over something one had said. Constance was pleased to see them so happy. Perhaps her concern over their future was unfounded, for they continued to act as ladies. Well, despite the fact they wore men’s clothing and carried knives. And washed dishes and clothes. Constance sighed. Perhaps they were less like ladies than she thought.
They finished the last of their meal and made their way to Sally, who stood beside a quiet woman named Nancy. Constance had spoken to Nancy on few occasions, and she always kept her eyes lowered no matter to whom she was speaking. She could not help but wonder what kind of troubles the poor woman had endured to be so timid.
“Oh, Constance,” Sally said when she approached, “just the woman I wanted to see. I wanted to seek the aid of you and your sisters.”
“Of course,” Constance replied with a smile. “How can we help?”
“You see, Nancy here needs to learn to become a lady’s maid. I wanted to know if you and your sisters would indulge her by allowing her to practice with you.”
“And she cannot use you as her lady?”
This made Sally laugh. “Me? Of course not! I can be a lady’s maid, but I can’t imagine having one. Wouldn’t it make more sense if a lady received the benefits of having a lady’s maid.”
Constance gave the quiet woman a smile. “Have you any experience?”
Nancy shook her head adamantly. “Oh, no, Miss. I’ve never done nothing more than cleaning, but Sally thinks it’d be good for me to learn new skills.”
“I cannot see why not,” Constance replied, and Emma and Mary squealed with glee. So, they were more ladylike than she had thought. “Take Nancy to the training room,” she told her sisters. “You may begin her lessons there and I will join you when I return.”
When the three women were gone, Constance turned to Sally. “Why does Nancy need training, and do not tell me that nonsense about what is best for her. You know as well as I that maids typically begin as scullery maids or the like and learn as they go. So, why is she to learn to be a lady’s maid?”
What she suspected was that Stephen and Louisa had come up with some scheme and she wanted to become a part of it. One way or another, they would see her as more than a simpering lady put in her place because of her circumstances! They would allow her to have more responsibilities!
“It’s just that Louisa…” Sally closed her mouth and pursed her lips. “It’s just something she’s to learn is all.”
What was the girl hiding?
Before she could ask any more questions, Sally asked, “Did you speak with Stephen? Did my advice work?”
Constance sighed inwardly. Sally was as easy to crack as a walnut without a nutcracker or hammer! Well, she would find out later, if she could loosen the girl’s tongue.
“I did speak with him,” Constance said with a laugh. “And your advice worked wonderfully. We are speaking once again, but I’m afraid it did not have the effect I had hoped.”
Sally placed her hands on her hips. “Let me guess. His commitment is the camp?”
Constance nodded.
“I’m so sorry,” Sally said.
“No, it’s fine. I have two sisters about whom I should be worrying. The last thing I need is to concern myself with romance.” She glanced to where Stephen stood speaking with Robert beside the fire. A longing came to her heart, but she quickly pushed it away. “I must go; I’m learning to walk quietly in the woods today.”
Sally glanced toward the man and smiled. “There’s no finer teacher than Stephen,” she said. “And don’t worry; he’ll come around. Just give him time.” She turned and walked away but not before giving her a mischievous grin.
Constance doubted what Sally said was true, but it did not matter, not at the moment. She walked up to the two men.
“Well, if it isn’t the lady bandit,” Robert said with a grin. “Ready to strike with a knife in the most polite manner.” Both men roared with laughter, and Constance shook her head. “I’m only teasing. I’ve heard your knife skills are improving. Though, I imagine that a lady with such skills can be very amusing. Can you see her at a party, pulling a knife on one of those high-and-mighty noblewomen after she’s said something she didn’t like?” Again, the men laughed.
Constance gave him a tight smile and took a step toward him. “I’m pleased you find it funny, Sir Robert,” she said haughtily. Then she narrowed her eyes at him. “However, you may find yourself regretting those words, for a lady such as myself might strike at any moment.” She said the last with a tap on the knife at her hip.
&nbs
p; Robert gulped and then laughed as he raised both hands in the air. “My apologies,” he said with a bow. “May I fall back into your good graces again?”
She pretended to consider his question for a moment before replying, “I suppose you deserve another chance. You do feed me, after all.”
He gave her a wide grin, and Stephen said, “If you are ready, we may leave.”
“I’m ready,” Constance replied. She followed him into the woods, the idea of being alone with him bringing about a complexity of emotions. How long could she continue to be in his presence and not have him take her into his arms?
Well, she would have to learn to live with the situation, for if she did not, she would only drive herself mad. And madness got no one where they needed to be.
***
Constance stood amidst the underbrush, her eyes closed as she strained to hear the snap of a twig or the crunch of a leaf. However, all she could hear was leaves rustling in the light breeze and the song of a nearby goldfinch.
There it was! A rustling that did not fit in with the quiet solitude! She opened her eyes and turned toward the sound, expecting to find Stephen standing before her, but she saw nothing.
“A simple distraction.”
She squealed with fright and rounded with a glare for the man who now stood behind her.
“I threw a rock in that direction as I came from behind.”
Constance heaved a heavy sigh. “It’s no use!” she lamented with a kick of her boot. “I will never learn. I simply do not have the skills.” She knew she was acting like a child, but she had never been as frustrated with any lesson in her entire life.
“Do not give up,” Stephen replied. “I know you can do this. You have learned so much; there is no reason you cannot become an excellent tracker and woodsman.”
Constance smiled. “Woodswoman, if you please,” she said. Then she nodded. “Let us try again.” She closed her eyes, and Stephen hurried away. She counted to twenty in her head and then cleared everything from her mind to focus her concentration on listening for any sound that was not normal to the forest.
There! she thought when she heard a sound. Without opening her eyes, she pointed. “You are there, perhaps eight paces away.”
“Well done!” Stephen said.
She opened her eyes, delighted to see Stephen right where she expected him to be.
“What was different this time?”
“I admit that it had much to do with your confidence in me,” she replied. “I struggled with my doubts as I often do, but this time I pushed them aside, focused my attention, and cleared my mind. All I could hear was you.”
“Have no doubt that you are a capable woman who can do whatever she puts her mind to. However, to do so, you must first believe in yourself. That is the key to every skill one learns.”
Constance nodded; she could not have agreed more. In the past, few instances gave her cause to doubt; not until she had joined the camp. Perhaps it was because the life was so different than how she lived previously, but whatever it was, she would succeed. She was sure of it.
Stephen knelt on the forest floor. “Join me.”
Constance did as he bade.
“No matter how light the sounds in these woods, you will learn to hear them all.” He crunched a leaf in his hand. “But, what we have here,” he tapped his head, “will prevent that. It is what is in here,” he tapped his chest above his heart, “that we must listen to.”
“You are truly an amazing man,” Constance said as she looked into his eyes. “I will trust myself more. Thank you.”
They rose and stood facing each other. She pushed away the longing that rose in her; she had vowed to remain his friend and would do as she promised. What right did she have to take away that which he had worked so hard to gain? Too many people counted on him.
“Let’s practice again.” His voice had a huskiness to it, but Constance ignored it. It more than likely had nothing to do with her anyway.
They practiced for some time, Constance listening for the smallest of sounds, and though she was not successful every time, she improved, earning Stephen’s approving smile.
“Are you proud of me?” Constance asked before she could stop the childish words from leaving her lips.
He chuckled. “More than proud,” he replied. “I’m delighted, for you are my finest pupil yet.”
Constance laughed. “I rather doubt that to be true,” she said. “But I appreciate you saying so.” She tilted her head to look at him. “Will you always remain here in the woods? What will you do once you find the man who killed your mother?”
Stephen took a drink from a canteen he had brought with him. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “At times I wish to take up the role I inherited, yet these woods, the river, the people I help, I’m not sure I want to ever leave them. And what about you, Miss Shepherd? What do you see for your future?”
Constance was unsure how to answer. In truth, she wanted to remain with Stephen until the day he could finally put the past behind him. Yet, she also had her sisters to consider. They were of age, granted, but she had been the one to remove them from the life to which they were accustomed. She owed them a bright future.
“I will live each day to the fullest,” she said after some thought. “I will cherish every moment I have with those around me. It is all I can do, for the future is always uncertain no matter how well-laid the plans may be.
As she looked up at him, she thought her heart would burst. What she did not say was that she wanted to be with him, to share her life with the man who had saved her in so many ways.
Then it struck her as strongly as if someone had slapped her. She was in love with this man! Every scenario that played out in her mind that led to her being happy included him. How could she have allowed herself to fall so completely for a man she could not have?
“We should continue our practice,” Stephen said. “This time, it is you who will learn to walk in silence.”
As she nodded, she realized that not only did her steps have to be silent, so did her heart, for she could never be able to reveal her feelings to this man. He had more important matters, and she would not be the one to hold him back from doing what he needed to do. For if she did, he would grow to hate her, and that she could not endure.
***
The following morning, Constance found herself smiling more than she had in recent weeks. She had enjoyed the lessons Stephen had given her the day before, and she had to admit that it was he that made her want to improve. He encouraged her at every turn, and she did, indeed, get better.
After dressing, she and her sisters stepped from their hut, and were greeted by Louisa’s son, Charles, who was walking with Stephen. The boy had his mother’s light complexion, but rather than red hair, his was dark. He carried himself with a straight back and easy smile, and it was clear he enjoyed Stephen’s company.
“Good morning,” Stephen said in greeting. “I was just coming to ask a favor of you.”
Constance returned the greeting. “What can we do?”
“This young man,” he ruffled the boy’s hair, much to Charles’s chagrin, “is in need of instruction on how to behave as a gentleman. I immediately thought of you three, of course.”
Constance smiled. “And his mother?” she asked as she glanced toward Louisa’s hut. “Is she fine with this?”
“Oh, yes, Miss Constance,” Charles replied. “And Stephen thinks the idea is a good one, too. In fact, he told me there’s no finer woman in all of England to learn from.”
Stephen’s eyes went wide, and Constance stifled a giggle.
“Then, we shall begin once we have finished breakfast.”
The boy turned to her sisters. “Miss Mary, Miss Emma, would you like to eat with me?” He turned three shades of red.
“I cannot speak for my sister,” Mary replied, “but I would love to.” Emma was as quick to agree, and soon all three were off to the fire pits.
Constance looked at Stephen
. “He seems very happy,” she said. “The girls adore him as if he were their brother. He is a good boy.”
“That he is,” Stephen said. “He has always been one to listen and learn.” He sighed and shook his head. “I should go help prepare the meal. I’ll be leaving for the day once we have finished eating, and I do not like leaving everything for the rest of the camp to do.”
He walked away, and Constance stood staring after him. He was a good man. How she wished they could have more than the friendship that had developed between them. Oh, blast! What was she thinking? Had she not already put herself through this enough by now?
With a sigh, she joined the others, and it was not long before everyone was finished, the plates and utensils collected, and Charles was standing before her.
“I’m ready,” the boy said, standing much like a soldier reporting for duty. “That is…for my lessons.”
Constance laughed. “You are eager to learn,” she said. “That will make you a worthy pupil.”
The boy nodded, and Constance led him and her sisters to one of the huts reserved for lessons that sat behind the living quarters.
“One day, I’m going to make a fine gentleman,” Charles said proudly. “That’s what Mother tells me.”
“I believe she is right,” Constance replied. “She is a wise woman, and you must always respect and honor her.”
Charles grunted as he pulled open the door, and they stepped into the small room that had been designed for instruction in proper conduct. So many who joined them had never had formal training, leaving them with little choices in employment outside of thievery. Stephen had said that the goal was to teach them to live in polite society and they would be able to gain employment in more respectable positions. Constance herself had given lessons on decorum and proper speech, and many had learned enough to find positions in one of the many great houses throughout the country.
In the middle of the room sat three tables, each with a different setting. One was arranged with items to learn needlework and sewing. Another had a tea set, complete with napkins and hard biscuits and tea cakes sculpted from wood. The last had four table settings, where pupils could learn table manners.
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