“Must we leave?” Emma asked. “Perhaps if we stayed and worked harder, we could remain. I like it here.”
Constance closed her eyes for a moment. “You have done so well in helping others. I know Sally is pleased with your lessons with Nancy.”
“If we are of such great help, why must we leave?” Mary demanded with a pout.
“We must find our way back to society,” Constance explained. “We were not meant to remain here forever. I’m sorry.”
Her sisters gave her a sad look, but they both nodded. “I suppose I understand,” Mary replied.
“As do I,” said Emma. “Whatever you believe is best.”
“Well, it would be best if we were on our way,” Constance said with an encouraging smile she did not feel. “We will journey toward the main road, but we will not make it before sundown. We will sleep in the woods and get an early start in the morning.”
The creak of the door had all three turn to see Sally enter. “Constance, I must speak to you before you leave.”
“Take your things to the horses,” Constance told her sisters. “I will meet you there.” When the two women were gone, she turned to Sally and smiled. “I shall miss you, my friend.”
Sally gave her a weak smile. “I’ll miss you.” Then, without warning, the woman threw her arms around Constance. “Won’t you stay? There’s no reason to leave.”
“We must, for my sisters’ benefit. They are meant for life in a grand house where they can marry men of means. Please, do not misunderstand me. Being in the camp has taught us all so much; however, it is unfair to keep them here when they have lived a different life.”
“I know you won’t tell me,” Sally said, a look of doubt in her eyes, “But does Louisa have anything to do with this? Don’t let her force you to go.”
Constance shook her head. “I’m sorry, but we must go.” It was unfair to place the burden of what had led to this drastic decision on the woman. “May I ask a favor?”
“Of course,” Sally replied. “Whatever I can do to help.”
She removed a letter from her dress pocket. “Would you see that Stephen receives this?”
Sally studied the folded paper and then placed it in her pocket. “I’ll give it to him myself,” she said. “Please, take care, and if you find yourself here again, come find me.”
Constance gave the woman a nod and a smile. “I will. I promise.” She took her sack and went outside. Mary and Emma stood beside the fire pits speaking to Robert and Luke.
“You two were told to go to the horses,” Constance said with a pointed look.
Emma and Mary lowered their head and walked away, glancing over their shoulder from time to time.
“Louisa has driven you away,” Robert said, a clear statement and not a question. “Do not leave on her account. The rest of us want you to stay.”
Luke nodded. “He’s right. Troubles arise in the camp from time to time, but we always find a solution.”
“You are both very kind,” Constance replied. “However, it is best we leave. We should have been gone to London ages ago.”
“Would you like me to join you?” Robert asked, clear concern etched on his features. “I don’t mind, and it’d get me way from the stench of him.” He gave Luke a glowering look, and Constance could not help but laugh at the two friends.
“Your offer is kind, and appreciated, but we must go on our own. Thank you for everything. Both of you. I shall miss you.” She embraced each man and, with a smile, left them and Sally beside the fire pit. When she reached the horse line, Charles took her sack from her and tied it behind the saddle.
“I’ll miss you, Miss Constance,” the boy said. “You made everyone here happy.”
“I will miss you, as well,” Constance replied. “Please, take care.”
The boy nodded, and Constance mounted her horse. Charles handed her the reins.
Taking one last look at the camp, she smiled. So many here had made her and her sisters’ stay enjoyable. These people did not have much, yet they shared everything. Kind people who thought of others. Yes, she would miss them all terribly. However, it was Stephen who she would miss the most; a man like no other man she had ever known. A man of strength, humor, and integrity, and most importantly, a man she had dared to love.
She forced the feeling back into that place in the back of her mind as she heeled the horse forward. No matter how great the distance, that love would always be there. Yet, if she was to survive being away from him, she could not allow the emotion to cloud her judgment. It would never leave her, but it did not have to drive her life.
***
Stephen recalled a time long ago when he thought the world a grand place, his dreams laid out before him like a magical road. It was not until his father died that he learned the truth of the financial situation of his family. Not long after, everything of value had been sold in an attempt to pay debts followed by the dismissal of all the servants, for they could not pay them.
In the end, he and his mother could not even afford to hire a carriage. Instead, they set off on horseback, saying goodbye to their home and the life they had once known. He had made a silent oath that day to reclaim all that had been taken from him and to restore the family’s wealth and name.
However, that dream had died the night he and his mother were accosted on the road.
The man who attacked them was wicked; his ability of inflicting cruelty far surpassed anything Stephen had ever encountered in his life. That night as he lay dying on the road, he swore to himself that, if he had but one more chance at anything in life, he would take his revenge on that monster.
Louisa had found him, housed him, and later joined him in his quest not only to find this man but to keep others from meeting that same fate. It was that same desire that caused him to close his heart off to Constance.
He had never considered the notion of love after Alice had chosen another over him, and with his fixation on the needs of those in the camp, he thought a void within him filled. However, that proved to be an illusion, for when Constance arrived, his thoughts began to change no matter how much he fought them. Danger existed at every turn, and his priority was to those who depended upon him, not his heart.
The fact that Constance understood this only made matters worse, for he found him admiring her all the more. No, it was more than admiration that had trapped him; he loved her.
Stephen gave a heavy sigh as he guided the horse toward the horse line at the camp. He had ridden out the day before, remaining out for the night in order to gather his thoughts. The truth was he had been spending too much time with Constance, which in turned tempted him far more than he cared to admit.
He had come to a decision out there on his own that it was now up to Louisa and Robert to train Constance and her sisters so he would not tempt himself further. He had not lied that Constance would be a great asset to the camp, but he could not entangle himself in the web she unwittingly weaved. If anything, that made her that much more appealing.
Sunlight began to break over the horizon, and the camp was just beginning to stir when Stephen entered. Sally and Robert had already begun the fire for the morning meal, and Stephen could not help but smile. He was truly blessed with such wonderful friends, and despite his need to keep his distance from Constance, he looked forward to seeing her bright smile. The sooner he spoke to her and told her of his conflicting feelings, the sooner he could set his mind to other tasks.
Sally walked up to him, but her usual glee at his return was not present. “What is wrong?” he asked. “Does my return not warrant a smile anymore?” He said the last teasingly, but it did little to change her expression.
“Constance, Mary, and Emma are gone.”
Stephen felt panic rise in him. “Gone? Gone where?”
“To London. Constance said she can’t remain here any longer. She said it was worry for her sisters that made her leave.”
“I must find her,” Stephen said, glancing around as if expect
ing them to appear and say it was all done in jest. “She cannot leave like this.”
“She gave me this to give to you,” Sally said, handing him a folded piece of parchment.
He stared down at the paper for a moment. Did he want to read it? With a sigh, he opened the letter and began to read.
Dear Stephen,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I can no longer remain here for reasons which are my own. I must apologize for leaving without warning and for not remaining until you returned, but I felt it important that I leave as soon as possible. Please know that my sisters and I will always be grateful for all you have done for us, for all you have taught us, for you have only made us better women.
I ask that you please do not come in search of us; it will only make it harder for us both.
Sincerely,
Constance Shepherd
A knot formed in Stephen’s stomach as though a fist had struck it. “I cannot believe she would leave like this,” he whispered. “They are truly gone.”
“I’m sorry,” Sally said. When Louisa joined them, Sally glanced at the woman and added, “I must go help Nancy.” She walked away.
Stephen felt as if he had lost everything. Granted, he had been ready to suggest he no longer be the person to train her, but had he crossed a line and made her feel uncomfortable? However, when he looked up at Louisa, a new thought came to mind. Louisa had been the one to train Constance last. Had she been the cause of this?
“You look well-rested,” Louisa said with a smile. “I trust you found…”
He lifted the page in his hand. “Was this your doing?” he demanded through a clenched jaw. “Did you make her leave?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Louisa said irritably. “The woman confided in me that she wished to leave, something about being worried about her sisters and them growing accustomed to this life.”
Stephen nodded. That was what Constance had said in her letter, and she had said as much on more than one occasion in the past. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I was upset that she is gone.”
Louisa placed a hand on his arm. “I understand. But I believe their going to London would be best for everyone. They are ladies and they must find gentlemen, not live a life of woodspeople. London is best for them.”
“You are right,” Stephen replied, though it did not make him feel any better. “It is what they need.” His heart ached and hoped they were safe. Constance did not want him to follow, but he would pick up their trail easily and perhaps guide them to safety.
As if hearing his thoughts, Louisa said, “Let them go. You have a life here. These people need you.”
Stephen looked around the now busy camp. The residents here were his friends, and he considered many of them family. When he looked back at Louisa, he smiled. She was his friend, one he had always leaned upon.
Louisa took him by the hand and led him to the long table. “Come. Let us get some food and you can tell me all about your outing.”
With a mixture of feelings, Stephen followed Louisa. He might be happy with the people around him at the moment, but he could not take his thoughts off Constance. He had thought her as much a part of their family as anyone; however, he did not realize how wrong he had been.
Chapter Sixteen
Constance yawned and stretched, surprised to see that the sun had already risen. She and her sisters had traveled two hours before deciding to camp for the night. Of course, they could have waited to leave in the morning, but the sooner they left, the sooner they would arrive in London, and now they were two hours ahead.
Turning, she looked at Mary and Emma, who lay together beneath a single blanket. They had such an innocence about them, and for that very reason she was glad for the decision she made. Even as she thought this, her heart twisted for what was lost.
The previous night as her sisters fell asleep, Constance thought of Stephen. It pained her to leave, to never see him again. Yet, she would never admit as much to either of her sisters, for they would insist on returning, and she could not. They may have much to give to the camp, but the truth was that whatever good they could do would be shadowed by the problems they - no, she - would cause by simply being there.
The truth was that she had to think of her sisters; the rest was unimportant. They needed a proper home and to eventually find a gentleman to court them. It was for that reason above all that she decided to continue their journey to London.
Rising, Constance stretched but then froze when she heard the faintest of sounds, a sound that was out of place. She removed her knife from its sheath and listened again. There it was! The light snapping of a twig she never would have caught before being taught by Stephen.
“Constance?” Mary said as she blinked sleep from her eyes. “Is something wrong?”
Constance motioned for them to be quiet as a lone figure emerged from the underbrush. “It is I,” Walter said with a small laugh. “Do not kill me!” He wore a simple white shirt and dark breeches as he led his horse into the clearing.
“What are you doing here?” Constance asked as the man tethered his horse to a nearby tree. “Were you sent after us?” The last was said in hopes Stephen had returned early and wanted them back at the camp. Though she had told him in her letter not to, men, especially Stephen, could be stubborn!
“No,” Walter replied. “In fact, it was I who decided to come alone.”
Constance resheathed her knife. “And why would you do that?”
“I could not sleep last night knowing the three of you had gone. Although the camp has served me well, I realized it was not the same without you.” The smile he gave them sent a strange shiver down her spine, and her sisters pulled their blanket tighter around them.
She was unsure how to respond. Walter had never shown any interest in them, not in the way he was suggesting now, yet perhaps she had simply paid him no heed. “We appreciate your concern for us, but do you not plan to return to the camp?”
Walter shook his head, blond hair falling over his brow. “I do not. In fact, I had a wonderful idea.” He rubbed his hands together as he said this, and Constance took an involuntary step back even though the man was on the opposite side of the clearing.
“Oh?” she replied. “And what would that be?”
“I thought it a brilliant idea that I accompany you all to London. I, being a man, might make your travels less suspicious and therefore safer.”
The man’s response made sense, but alarm bells sounded inside her. Something about this man was not right, and the thought of spending more time than necessary with him curdled her stomach. “I appreciate your kind offer,” Constance replied. “However, we have decided to stay in the forest rather than go all the way to London.”
Walter’s brows rose. “The forest?” he said before shaking his head. “Ladies such as yourselves should sleep in an inn with comfortable beds and warm food.”
Though his suggestion did sound appealing, Constance said, “I’m sorry, but I believe we should travel alone.”
He hung his head. “I understand,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I find that wherever I go, I am not wanted. My apologies for making myself a burden. I’ll just be on my way.”
The look of dejection Walter wore tore at Constance’s heart. “Wait,” she said as he went to untie his horse. “I see no reason we cannot travel together. Perhaps having a man with us would be beneficial, and having an extra companion on our journey is certainly no burden.”
Walter smiled widely. “Are you certain?”
Constance nodded. “Yes. We would be pleased if you joined us.”
The man gave her an odd grin. “Good. There is a village an hour from here. Let us stop there to eat and discuss our plans.”
She smiled and then instructed her sisters to ready themselves. She might not know Walter well, but he had been helpful in the camp and had been there far longer than she. If Stephen and the others trusted him, then she would, too.
***
Louisa stood in front of her hut and surveyed the camp. Most were completing their daily tasks or off in search of tidbits of news on those who might need aid. Sally led the newcomer, Nancy if Louisa remembered correctly, and another man who had arrived only days earlier to the hut set aside for lessons. The woman had offered to instruct reading to those who lacked the skill, and she had proven to be a competent teacher.
Other familiar faces caught her attention - Robert with his spoon in a kettle and Luke standing over him as they talked together, for example - and Louisa could not have been happier. Then her gaze fell upon Stephen, wearing his usual black outfit, and her heart nearly burst. He was hers once again, and she could not have been more pleased.
Stephen was the handsomest man Louisa had ever encountered, and with the sun highlighting his features, she could stare at him for hours. Yet, there was something different about him today. Gone was his usual smile and exuberance, and she suspected she knew why - his new plaything was gone. He would realize it was all for the best, after all, that was why Louisa had sent the woman away, was it not?
However, as she watched Stephen, she felt guilt tug at her. Had she done the right thing? Even when he ruffled Charles’s hair, Stephen’s smile was forced. That had never happened before, not in the twelve years the boy had been alive. Even in the face of death, the man always had a smile for Charles, who looked up at him in admiration. Had the woman’s leaving affected him so?
Stephen walked into the forest alone as if a great burden lay across his shoulders. The fact that the man did not care for her did not sit well with her. He cared for her, but more as a sister than a lover, and no matter how hard she tried - and she had tried, oh, how she had tried! - he never changed his feelings for her. He showed her caring, respect, and honor, but adoration? Never.
Rogues Always Wear Black: A Steamy British Historical Romance Novel (Forbidden Kisses Book 1) Page 14