by R. R. Banks
“It’s not ‘Mrs.,’” Eleanor’s voice called from inside the suite, “and they are not disturbing me. Let them in.”
“You really aren’t in the condition to---” the nurse started.
“Let them in,” Eleanor ordered, shutting her down.
Huffing and puffing as if to make absolutely sure that we were aware of her disgust, the nurse stepped out of the way and opened the door wide enough for us to go inside. It wasn’t the first time that I had been in the suite. In fact, I had spent the first several days that she was in it sitting by her bedside. It still had the same effect on me that it had the first time I saw it. Lavishly appointed in rich hues and heavy dark wooden furniture, the first room of the suite looked much more like a luxurious hotel than it did a hospital. This funneled into a short hallway that led past a bathroom bigger and nicer than the one that I had in my own apartment, and then into the actual treatment room.
Though it had some of the features that I would expect to see in a hospital room, it was still wearing a hotel costume and I had the same uncomfortable feeling that I had each of the other times that I walked into the room. It seemed excessive, unnecessary. Yet at the same time, I was happy that she was comfortable and being given the care that she needed during the fragile days that she had just persevered through.
Eleanor was sitting up in a reclining position on the large bed, her back propped up what looked like a dozen plush pillows. She was wearing a light pink satin robe rather than the classic hospital gown, her hair was brushed smooth over her shoulders, and she was wearing fresh makeup. Despite all of this, however, she looked distinctly tired and smaller than she had on the island. Noah and Snow both rushed to the sides of the bed, taking turns leaning over to kiss Eleanor on her cheeks and squeeze her hands.
“It’s so good to see you awake,” Snow murmured to her.
“I love you,” Noah whispered, giving her another kiss.
I hovered near the door, not knowing what to do. When Snow told me that Eleanor had finally woken up, I hadn’t hesitated for even a second. Not a single thought crossed my mind that I shouldn’t be there with her. Now that I was standing here looking at her, though, I didn’t know how to act or what to say. Everything was rushing back to me and I was having a difficult time coping with it all. I was starting to back out of the room when I heard her voice.
“Hunter?”
I looked up and saw Noah and Snow exchange glances.
“Are you hungry?” Noah asked Eleanor. “We’re going to go to the café and grab a celebratory snack. It’s time to get your strength back up. We can’t have you just lying around in bed all the time.”
Snow gave a tense laugh that had the one of someone trying to inject levity into a situation that was already far gone. They gave more kisses to Eleanor and scurried out of the room. As she passed, Snow patted me on the arm, a silent show of solidarity. She had seen me struggling over the last three weeks, and though she didn’t know the full extent of how Eleanor had affected me, I knew that our years of friendship had allowed her to empathize with me and want for this all to be resolved.
When they were gone I turned back to stare at Eleanor. She looked back at me hopefully, but I stayed in my place.
“Are you going to come over here?” she asked.
I approached her reluctantly and sat down in one of the heavily cushioned chairs beside her bed.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, my voice somewhat flat.
She nodded.
“Good,” she said. “As good as I can, considering.”
“Good,” I said, nodding. “The doctor said that the wound wasn’t that bad.”
Eleanor shook her head.
“It went through cleanly,” she said. “Apparently like many things, Virgil was nowhere near as good a shot as he thought that he was.”
“Good to hear.”
I’m just going to go ahead and try to find four or five more ways that I can use ‘good’ in this travesty of a conversation.
“What happened to Virgil?” she asked.
“The helicopter wasn’t high enough for the crash to be dangerous. It more landed and fell over. He dragged himself up onto the beach and we put him in the cavern with the other guys.”
“Where is he now?”
“The police came and we told them what happened. Noah went to your safe deposit box and got all of the evidence and turned it over. He’s going to trial and I’m sure he’s going to be away for a very long time.”
“And Lucille?”
“They fished her out of the water and rung her out. She’s fine. In jail, but fine.”
There was a moment of hesitation before she spoke again.
“What about Gavin?”
“He mysteriously disappeared off of the island again.”
“He did?”
She sounded slightly more hopeful.
“Yep. A couple days later the police received a certified letter from him detailing everything that he knew about her.”
Eleanor smiled and reached for my hand, but I pulled it away.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t, Eleanor.”
I stood up, needing to be further away from her, and her smiled melted.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, though the look in her eyes told me that she already knew what was going through my mind.
“You lied to me,” I said. “How could you not tell me that you’re Noah’s aunt? You made up so much about yourself.”
Her cheeks reddened and she looked away slightly before looking back at me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry, Hunter. You have to believe that I had my reasons.”
“What reasons could you possibly have?” I asked.
“At Snow and Noah’s wedding, I didn’t want anybody to know who I was. I spent too much time being in the shadow of my family and then my husband.”
“Ex-husband.”
She nodded.
“No one ever saw me. Just me. I wanted to know what it was like to just be someone else. For one night, I didn’t want anybody to think about my family, my marriage, the dissolution thereof, or my money.”
“Your money?” I asked, upset just by the word itself. “Is that really what you think of me? That I would only be interested in your money?”
“It’s not you, Hunter,” Eleanor said. “I told Noah not to tell anyone who I was before I even saw you. I had no idea that I was going to meet someone as incredible as you.”
“And then when you did?” She hesitated and I scoffed, taking another step away from her. “You still lied because all you wanted was a one-night stand.”
“Yes.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Well, what do you want me to say?” she asked. “That’s exactly what was on my mind that night. I just wanted one night of attention from someone. Was I really supposed to think that I could find a connection with someone? Especially someone like you? Someone 15 years younger than me, no attachments, no crime boss ex hanging over his head or government agencies breathing down his neck? I was really supposed to think that you had any kind of real attraction to me and would be interested in any kind of real relationship with me?”
“You didn’t even give me a chance.”
“Yes, I did.”
“You tried to seduce me. That’s not the same thing.”
“And you walked away, just like I would have expected.”
“I walked away because I knew exactly who you were.”
Eleanor looked stunned.
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
“I might not have known that you were Noah’s aunt, but I knew who you are. A bored woman looking for someone to make her feel good about herself. A woman who would latch onto any man who gave her attention and use him up, then move on.”
“That’s not true,” Eleanor said, sounding weaker now.
“Yes, it is. You didn’t care who I was. You didn’t care anything about me. And that’s
whatever. You had your reasons, even if I think that they are completely asinine. But then what? How about when we were on the cruise? How about when we were running from those guys? You couldn’t tell me the truth?”
“While we were running through the cruise ship?” Eleanor asked incredulously. “You wanted me to pause and give you the story of my life while I was in the midst of running from it?”
“How about when we were on the island? How could you keep lying to me even then? With all of the time that we spent together, with everything that we went through together, how could you just keep lying to me like that?”
“I tried to tell you,” Eleanor said. “I tried so many times.”
“But you didn’t. You just kept adding onto the lie. Even when you knew how much danger we were actually in, you couldn’t be honest with me.”
“I’m sorry, Hunter. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if there’s anything that I can say, but—”
“There isn’t,” I said. Emotion was building in my chest and I could feel it starting to sting in the backs of my eyes. I had to get out of here. “I’m so glad that you’re alright,” I told her, letting my voice soften from the pitch that it had risen to during the conversation. “Watching you get shot was one of the worst moments of my life. Maybe the worst. But every time that I look at you, all I can think is that I could never have done that to you. I could never lie to you like that, because I care about you. And if you cared about me, you wouldn’t have been able to, either.”
I started out of the room, then turned and walked back to her side. I leaned down and touched a kiss to her cheekbone.
“Goodbye, Eleanor.”
Noah and Snow were walking back into the room as I left, but I didn’t stop to say anything to them. I needed to get back to the office, lose myself in my work, and forget.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Eleanor
One month later…
“How are you feeling, Auntie?”
Noah came into my living room and settled a vase of flowers onto the small marble table beside the sofa, taking away the slightly dried bouquet that Snow had brought a few days before. I looked at them, wanting the pale yellow and white blooms to make me smile, but they didn’t. I was perched on the wide windowsill of the bay window, staring out at a morning that was finally beginning to look like fall. Usually I found a bit of almost perverse pleasure in sitting like this, knowing that it was something that Virgil never would have let me do, but I didn’t get the same feeling from it anymore. I still loved the seat and the way that it made me feel almost like I was floating out above the grounds of my house, only now I didn’t get the self-satisfaction from it. Thoughts of what Virgil would think and how he would have reacted were gone. They had faded since I left the island, as if the confrontation of me running toward him and then watching him fall into the water, knowing that everything was over for him, had allowed me to leave the final remnants of his hold on me behind.
“Just as fine as I was feeling yesterday,” I told him. “Are you staying for supper?”
He came up and kissed me on my cheek.
“Are you trying in your oh-so-subtle way to tell me that I’m coming over here too often?” he asked.
I shook my head and turned so that my legs dangled over the edge of the wide windowsill, reminding me for a brief, fleeting moment of when my legs dangled over the rocks, the waves crashing below.
“Of course, not,” I said. “You know you’re welcome here any time. You still have your room upstairs.”
After my divorce from Virgil I had moved back into the home that was gifted to me by my father before meeting him, before heading to college, when I couldn’t have imagined that I was going to be married so soon. Even after Virgil insisted that we move into a much more lavish house, I still thought of this one as my home and during the long business trips that he sometimes took, I would leave the house we shared and instead stay here, feeling surrounded by memories and comforted by the feelings of the past. This was where Noah and I spent much of our favorite times together and even when he had grown up, I never changed the bedroom that I kept for him on the top floor.
“I know, Auntie,” Noah said. “But I don’t think that my wife would appreciate me using it.”
I shrugged.
“Wives are like that.”
Noah chuckled and sat down on the arm of the sofa.
“How is your chest?”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I’m glad.” We fell silent and I could see Noah tilting his head down trying to catch my eyes. “What is it, Auntie? What are you thinking about?”
“The island,” I told him.
Noah sighed and stood, his head dropping back in exasperation as he turned away from me.
“We’ve talked about this. You’ve got to stop torturing yourself. You need to go back to the therapist.”
“It didn’t do me any good. Besides, I don’t like her.”
“Why?”
“She doesn’t believe in sea monsters.”
“ You don’t believe in sea monsters.”
“I believe in the possibility of sea monsters, and I think that’s enough. Besides, it’s not what you think.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the time that I spent there and how beautiful it was. I don’t want to think that I’m never going to go back.”
Noah nodded.
“It was beautiful. But there’s nothing there, Auntie. You can’t just go back and hang out in the shelter that you and Hunter made. No matter what he told you, that was not a geodesic dome. It didn’t have any of the little triangles it needed.”
He made a few shapes with his hands to indicate the triangles and then let them fall to his side, seeming to see the darkened expression on my face.
“He isn’t the same, either,” he said. “He hasn’t been. He’s been showing up late. He’s left early a few times. Gotten memos wrong. Not doing half of what he used to. I’m actually thinking about firing him.”
“You aren’t thinking about firing him.”
“No, but it sounded good.”
I sighed. Thinking about Hunter still made my heart ache in a deep, reverberating way that I couldn’t even put words to.
“I need you to help me with something,” I said.
Noah nodded, crossing the room to perch on the arm again.
“Anything,” he said.
****
Hunter
Six months later…
“Did you get the invitation?”
I winced at the strange sound of Edwin’s voice coming through the phone. Behind him I could hear Sophie’s rhythmic breathing and wondered which of their devices she was powering up on her bicycle. I had only gotten to have a quick visit to their island the week after leaving with Noah and Snow to return to the mainland, but the elderly couple had left quite an impression on me.
“I did,” I said, reaching across my desk to pick up the thick cream-colored invitation that I had received in the mail a few days before.
“So….” he asked, the word drawn out so it filled the space of three or four.
“I don’t know, Edwin. It’s far away and I don’t really have any vacation time.”
“That’s a big old untruth you’re trying to tell me right there. I talked to Noah. I know what’s what. Now I was calling to be formal and extend my gracious invitation to my party, but if you’re going to be like that then I’m changing it over to a demand. I’m going to pull the ‘I saved your hiney on the beach’ card if you don’t cooperate. Don’t make me do it.”
“You didn’t really save my hiney,” I said.
“Who laid on top of that crazy Lucille woman to make sure that she didn’t get up and take everybody out?”
“Robin and Snow.”
“And?”
“And you.”
“Damn right. Those other two were little lightweight nothings. They
were just laying the foundation. I was the real bulk of that operation.”
I didn’t want to point out to him that Snow probably outweighed him herself, so I just made an affirmative sound.
“So, it’s settled then. Snow and Noah are coming, too, so I’m sure that you can just hitch a ride with them.”
The fact that the elderly man thought of the journey that we would need to take to get to the island, which would probably include both a helicopter and a boat in addition to a car, was the equivalent of a spontaneous road trip just made him more endearing. I laughed, promised him that I would do just that, sent my best to Sophie, and hung up.
As soon as I did, the quiet of the office closed in around me. I ran my fingers across the engraved words of the invitation. It wasn’t exceptionally clear about what event was being held, and it did mean having to return to the island and contend with the emotions that even the thought of that place still caused me. But it also promised a chance to visit with Edwin and Sophie, and some time away from the exceptionally busy time Noah, Snow, and I had been having at work. For some reason, every company in the area was clamoring to have their advertising campaigns designed by the people who survived being shipwrecked and stranded, or rescued said shipwrecked and stranded, and who had been instrumental in bringing down two criminals. There were some prospective clients who I was fairly certain had just made up their companies so that they could come to the office and talk to us.
I tossed the invitation back across the desk and went back to the projects in front of me. If I was going to go back to the island in two weeks, I was going to need to actually make sure that things were getting done at the office so it didn’t fall apart when all three of us were gone.
And pack a backpack of supplies. You never know.
The journey back to the island wasn’t nearly as long as I thought it was going to be. It’s amazing how being on the brink of death in a storm or worrying that the woman you love is going to die from a gunshot wound can stretch out a trip. The thought made me feel suddenly solemn.
Love.
It wasn’t something that I wanted to admit to myself or to anyone else. I had meant everything that I had said to Eleanor the last time I saw her. Though I regretted the fact that I had chosen that particular moment, while she was still sitting in the hospital recovering, to tell her what I thought of her dishonesty and how much she had hurt me, in that moment I couldn’t hold back. Seeing her in the starkness of reality outside of the fantasy world that we had created on the island had been too much for me. All of the adrenaline and denial that had fueled me during the long weeks of waiting draining out of me, leaving the hurt and disappointment raw within me. Part of me wished that I had handled it differently, but I didn’t know what I could have done differently.