Roman
“I’m serious, she’ll be here any second. You have to get out.” I shove the last analyst into the hallway and pull the door closed. With Kennedy set to arrive for our first rehearsal at Santos Sound, it’s not like I can have an FBI presence around and still maintain my cover. It’s bad enough the analysts are working in the back rooms.
I asked permission to tell her, let her in on what’s really happening. Rick denied the request. He’s afraid she’ll give us away. While I understand, I’m sick of lying to her. I hate that I’m using her connections without her knowledge. It’s another nail in the coffin trying to doom our relationship.
Who am I kidding? What relationship? I pull her close just to push her away. I’m sure she’s beyond confused at this point. If only she knew why I acted the way I have.
Her light knock catches my ears. I give a hasty glance around the kitchen and dining room before I cross the living room to let her in. The plan is to stay within those three rooms. If she opens a closet, exits to the recording studio, or heaven forbid, opens the double doors to Dale’s office, she’ll know something is up. Clean up after a few agents, sure. Hide a full-fledged criminal investigation, not exactly possible.
I pull open the door, flashing back to that first morning she showed up. I can’t help but stand in awe. She’s left her hair down, added curl to the ends, done something to make her eyes bigger. Looking at her, I’d never guess her age, not because she disguises it, but because she carries herself far beyond her years. I’d never feel this level of attraction for her if not for her maturity. I’ve spent the last month dealing with my mother shoving women in my path, but Kennedy is the first one to catch my attention and hold it.
“Come on in.” I swing the door wide, letting her enter. Her perfume snags me by the nose, almost yanking me along behind her. This is all for a cover. I need to remember that. If I forget, if I lose myself to the moment, if my attention wavers during the op, Kennedy could pay the price. Her life depends on me remembering that.
“I brought some music, a few songs I thought might fit the theme.” There’s a tremor in her voice when she talks about the party. Her nerves are getting the best of her, obviously I can’t tell her what’s really happening. She’d choke on stage.
“Let’s run through them.” Taking the sheet music, I cross the floor to the piano and prop open the top while Kennedy looks around Dale’s living room.
“I’ve never been in here. Weird Dale’s still gone. Have you heard anything?”
I clear my throat, hoping she can’t hear my deception. “Not really.” I pat the piano bench beside me. “Have a seat.”
She comes my way, but ignores my invitation, instead standing by the open piano, drumming her fingers over the top. Kennedy makes no motion to tell me to start, but considering her nerves over singing, she might never give me the go ahead.
I set my fingers to the keys, sight reading the best I can. Five measures coast by, on the sixth she should join in. I draw the final notes out to cue her, but her lips clamp shut. Shaking her head, Kennedy backs away, headed for the door.
Quick on my feet, I take hold of her arm, stopping her before she makes her hasty exit. “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s take it slower.” She won’t look at me, so I catch her chin and lift until she looks into my eyes. I’m lost in a sea of emerald beauty before I remember I should speak. “What’s going on in that head yours when the stage fright takes over?”
She shrugs, shaking me off. “Too much. It’s too much going on, and I can’t fight through it. I don’t know why I agreed to sing at this party, Rome.”
“I do.” I keep my hands to myself, allowing her space to wander and find her courage. “You love singing. You’re good at it. You want this more than anything in the world. But something is holding you back.”
I might as well be talking about how I feel about Kennedy. It’s everything in me to keep from taking her in my arms and showing her how I really feel. These stolen moments we’ve had aren’t enough. I want to be a part of her life. I want to be the one she relies on, the one she turns to. I want to be hers.
She wanders to the far side of the room, inching closer to the double doors that close off Dale’s office. “It’s fear of failure. It’s an inability to imagine myself as anything more than Hudson’s stand-in mom, or the event coordinator at the ranch, or the middle child who’s been carrying everything for so long. I worry about making it. I worry about not making it.”
She strides even closer to the doors as if they’re calling to her. I trail behind, not sure if I’ll be able to explain away what she might see if she pulls them open.
“As much as my family relies on me, sometimes I wonder if they even see me. The real me. I feel like they have no clue who I really am, or what I really want.”
I’m tempted to let her in on the long list Hudson gave me, just to prove they see her, but that’s not what she means. She means the parts of her she hides away. Those moments we’ve shared where she opens up. Even then, it wasn’t me who helped her shine through, it was the music. Music is the key to her heart.
“I understand that.” I close the space between us to only a few feet. Her hand rests on one of the knobs, but she isn’t turning it. “Most of my life I’ve been unremarkable. Forgettable. Just another face in the crowd. I doubt my family knows me, not really. I don’t open up to many people.”
She hesitates, running her thumb over the smooth metal of the knob. “I can’t believe that. I could pick your face out of any crowd. You’re absolutely remarkable.”
“To you.” I slip my arm around her waist. I wish I could say it’s about wanting to keep her from twisting the knob, but it’s all about wanting her near me. “You see me, Kennedy, in a way no one ever has. You make me believe I can do anything, be anyone, as long as you believe in me.”
She drops her grip on the knob, turning to look up at me. “You can. You’re amazing, Roman. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Now it’s my voice showing the nerves, betraying just how much she gets to me. “Let me do the same for you. Music opens you up. When you sing, your heart shines brighter than the music. Let me help you show who you really are. Because I believe in you.”
I take her by the hand and lead her back to the piano. She takes the seat beside me, more relaxed, comfortable, and ready. I ease through the opening measures. She follows the music, a slight sway in her body. I slow for the final notes, and this time, she doesn’t back down.
Her voice fills the room, blends with the music, and winds around my heart. The tempo, the timing, every time she sings, I swear the music belongs to her. Warmth rises in my chest, feeling the pride of knowing someone as perfect as Kennedy Cartwright. She follows my cues, plays with the notes, but respects the melody. The song wraps around us, pulling us closer. Every moment I spend with her, it becomes clearer. She’s everything I’ve ever looked for. She’s what I’ve always wanted. When her eyes meet mine at the end of the song, I know, I’ll never find someone better.
✽✽✽
Kennedy
He talks about how I make him better, but the honest truth is I’ve never sounded as good as I do when I sing for him. Knowing how much he cares; it gives me the confidence to shake my fears aside and fight for what I want. A career under the spotlight has always called for me, but here, beside him, wrapped up in the music, I’m rethinking my goals. Why live in the spotlight when I could shine in his light? Why reach for the stars when I could reach for his arms? I’ve been fine on my own, not really missing the romantic side of life, until now. Now Roman has me wondering if it could be better, if life could be more, with him.
Not that it matters. He’s obviously still keeping me at arm’s length because of my age. He still hasn’t opened up, not really. He’s given me glimpses into his thoughts and feelings, but nothing that lasts. I feel like he’s on the verge, just about the take the leap, but still something holds him back.
We run through five more songs, once
or twice a piece until I’m comfortable. Every time my nerves start to get the better of me, Roman nudges me with his shoulder or shoots me a goofy face to throw me off. He’s everything I never knew I wanted. The last song winds down, and I find myself wishing time would stop ticking for a few minutes.
The vibration of the music tingles through my bones, edging off to a soft hum. I close my eyes, relishing the way I feel. I could sink into this moment and stay, happy for the rest of my life.
“Can I keep you forever?”
Roman’s head snaps to face me. “What?”
Color rises to my cheeks. I hide my face away in my hands embarrassed that I blurted it out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just,” my voice echoes in my cupped hands, “this has been so perfect. It has to be because of you.”
Roman peels my hands away from my face, watching me with an amused expression. “You can keep me as long as you want, Kennedy.”
“I’m glad you’re gonna be at the party with me.” He keeps my hands in his, and I make no move to pull them away. “I don’t think I could do it without you.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” Roman’s thumb brushes over my hand, sending thrills through my gut. The sincerity in his eyes means more to me than any other compliment. But there’s more there. Worry, concern, secrets he won’t tell me. I still don’t know what happened at the fundraiser but being close to him makes me think it doesn’t matter. Before he can go cold on me, I brave the subject that’s built a wall between us.
“Roman, why is our age gap so hard on you? It doesn’t bother me. I don’t understand why we can’t—" I stop short, feeling his discomfort rise.
He drops my hands, turning back to the piano. His fingers find the keys, playing a melody that isn’t on the sheet music. “I know. It probably looks old-fashioned, the way I feel. But I do have my reasons.”
I ease my hand over his back, rubbing away the tension between his shoulder blades. “Will you tell me? Help me understand?”
Roman’s fingers dance across the keys, more graceful than even Hudson in the studio. I close my eyes and sink into the notes. Music has always been my fondest friend. It makes sense that he has the same love.
“My younger brother, Sebastian, he’s opposite of me. Great with women, everyone adores him. He’s the star of the show. Always has someone on his arm.” The song’s tempo increases, then a key change, the soft notes are abandoned for heavy ones. “A couple years ago, he was back in our hometown. It’s small, like yours, people talk. He started dating a girl, she was barely eighteen, and he was twenty-eight. She was nuts over him, and he was just looking for a good time. He got bored, like he always does, and broke it off. She took half a bottle of pills and ended up in the ER. People were already talking, but after that, her reputation was ruined. He called me, hoping I could help him get out of it. I came in, like I always do, and cleaned up his mess. I encouraged my parents to move out here before they heard the rumors. I got my brother a job overseas. I got the girl the help she needed, but the damage was done. Her life will never be the same.”
He plays through the last couple notes, fingers on the keys until the piano is silent. I press my lips together, hurting for him, hurting for the girl, and even for his brother for making dumb choices. The quiet surrounds us, as if confirming he was right to keep us apart.
“That’s really hard.” My voice is the first to break the silence. He nods, but I’m not done. “But that’s not what’s happening here, Rome.” I slip my hand into his. “You are not your brother. And I’m not some lovesick child who doesn’t know how to live without you.”
He shoots me a confused look. “That hurt a little.”
I touch my fingers to his cheek. “That’s just it, Rome. I want to be with you. I think we’d be good together, but if I can’t have you, it’s not the end of my world. I’ve seen too much, lived through too much, to let a relationship destroy me. I would cry over you. I might even binge eat some ice cream and live in my sweats for a few nights, but I won’t try to end my life. And if you’re worried about what people in this town will say about me? Trust me, my family has been the center of gossip for years. Dating an older man will hardly be news.”
A grin peeks from his cheeks, timid at first, but growing. “Really? You’ve spent your time in the town gossip column?”
“If there was one.” I take his hand in mine. “Dad probably started it all. Winning the ranch with an ace in the hole, no one called him Steven after that. And then add Victoria’s shenanigans, every party, every weekend, and worse after we lost mom. The tongues never stopped wagging about Ace’s little Queen of Hearts.”
“Queen of hearts?” Roman’s fingers slip between mine. “That’s what they call her?”
“Years ago, yes, but it still stands. Everyone knows my family. I don’t know half the stories from before my time, always too busy raising Hudson, or saving the ranch, but we are not unaccustomed to hearing gossip.” I tilt my head, hair sliding to the opposite side to expose my neck. “All I’m saying is, don’t hold back on my account. I can deal with some old ladies talking.”
His eyes dart to my lips. Still, he doesn’t take the chance. Instead, he says, “If Victoria is the Queen of Hearts, what does that make you?”
I frown. “No one ever thought to name me I guess.” The thought comes to me and I can’t help a soft laugh. “I’m probably most like the instruction card that comes with the deck. Tells everyone what to do and then gets lost under the couch somewhere.”
I expect him to laugh with me, but he’s lost in thought. Using his free hand, he pushes the hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “If she’s the Queen of Hearts, then you’re the Queen of Diamonds.”
I meet his stare, curious about his reasoning. “How so?”
“Because I’ve never met anyone who sparkles and shine the way you do, without ever trying.”
For a second, he has me. Heart, mind, soul, down to my little toes, I’m his. I think of mom’s story, about being attracted to Dad for more than his appearance. Is it possible that it could happen again, that two people could connect in such a way that it wouldn’t matter what anyone else ever thought? All we need is each other.
A quiet prayer fills my heart that mom was right all along.
Chapter 16
Roman
“Tell me what you’ve got?” The office door slams behind me. Rick whirls to check my identity but resumes his work at the computer with the analyst.
“It’s still in production. We’re designing the plan as we speak.”
Knowing what’s on the line, Kennedy, her trust, my life, I’m feeling less than friendly. It’s been two days with no news on how we’re going forward with the party. Two rehearsals, two nights of looking her in the eyes and lying through my teeth. I need to know this isn’t for nothing. The second I said goodnight at the door, I set out looking for answers.
“I’ve handed you the whole lot of them on a silver platter, and you don’t know what to do?”
“You’ve given us a birthday party.”
“With an agent on the inside.”
“Last I heard, he’s hardly more than a glorified analyst. Isn’t that the rumor?”
I knew it would come to this. I knew he’d put my back to the wall on this issue. He’s not wrong. It’s time. Pick a side. Pick a path. I’ve been straddling the line for too long.
“Yeah, well, things change. I’m in.”
“Both feet?”
I clench my jaw and consider the implications, but not long enough to think better.
“I’m all in.”
Rick smiles as if he’s won. I suppose he has.
“In that case, we have a plan.”
He nods his head toward the computer, and I step in to take a closer look. The analyst has the floor plan to The Nightingale open, but also the neighboring pizza shack as well.
“We’ll set up here,” Rick circles the center kitchen of the pizza joint, “you’ll have coms t
he whole time. You’ll be armed, but assuming they’re going to check you, we’ll have to hide it on your person or—”
“I’ll figure it out,” I say before he can finish. “If things get hairy, I’ll have something.”
“You’ll do your set, or whatever,” Rick waves his hand through the air, “and after it’s done, Dante will no doubt want to talk to your girl. That’s when I need you to sneak off.”
“You want me to leave her alone with him?”
“You think he’s going to pull something in front of his guests? As long as they’re in public, she’s fine. I need you in the office. Download whatever you can. We’ll try to get something set up between the buildings, a concealed drop box or something.”
The analyst speaks for the first time, “We’re working on it.”
“When do we take them down?”
“It’s gonna take a while.”
“You have no guarantee that we’ll ever have this many of their crew gathered in one place. We need to act that night.” I glare at him, but he’s shaking his head. “Rick, for all you know Dark Fox himself will be there. Come on.”
My supervisor draws in a slow breath through his nose. “If we want it to stick, we do it slow.”
I shake my head, but my voice is in line. “Yes, sir.”
“Now, I’m gonna need your girlfriend to work on your costume.”
I’m mid-sentence correcting him that she’s not my girlfriend, but trip over the word costume.
“What are you talking about?”
Let it be known my supervising agent has a wicked sense of humor.
“We have to conceal your identity, and she said it’s got a twenties vibe, right?” Rick nudges the analyst. “What do you think, zoot suit riot or something more classic, like Dick Tracy?”
✽✽✽
Kennedy
Roman thought he could get away with a suit and tie to something like this? Considering my ensemble, not a chance. I can’t go in looking like Ingrid Bergman and not have my Humphrey Bogart by my side.
The Unforgettable Queen of Diamonds Page 14