by Linda Conrad
Her eyes blurred, and she sat down on the edge of the sofa, trying to regain her composure.
Cal stirred when a small distant sob dragged him out of his slumber. Was Kaydie all right?
He slowly came to and sat upright, cradling the baby to his chest as he rose. His child still snored softly and never moved a muscle as he rearranged her on his lap.
Well, if it wasn't Kaydie whose crying had disturbed his nap, then who…?
Cal sensed Bella's presence before he actually saw her in the lengthening shadows of afternoon. It was a bit disorienting to realize that the strong and erotic woman he'd come to both lust after and respect was sitting all alone in the dark, weeping.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" he whispered. "Is there something I can do to help?"
"No, no," she choked. "It's just that you and Kaydie made such a wonderful picture lying there. I … thought of my own father."
Cal wondered why thinking of her father would cause her to cry. He was rather afraid to ask, concerned that her father might be dead. Since his own parents' disappearance, he'd been sensitive to other people's relationships with their families.
"Uh. You want to tell me about it? Do you miss him very much?"
She gave him a weak smile. "I have nothing to miss."
"What does that mean? Has your father passed away?"
"I have no idea where my father is. He might be dead for all I know," she answered harshly. "He wrote me out of his life years ago when I went to nursing school."
Cal brushed away a tear that was threatening to drop off her chin. "Talk to me, honey. Tell me what's hurting you."
Bella swiped at her nose and set her shoulders. "My father was a rich man's only son. He dabbled in politics, tried his hand at movie acting and taught college students when the mood struck him." She hesitated a second in order to take a much-needed extra breath. "Mostly my father and mother were members of an international jet-setter group that did as little useful work as possible.
"I'm not at all sure why they bothered to give birth to a child. I suppose I was a mistake." But that mistake had desperately wanted her parents' love, she remembered. "I worked so hard to be good … to do the right things … to make good grades in school. I wanted them to pay attention."
Cal laid a hand on her shoulder. "You could've gone the other way—been very bad in order to get noticed."
She almost chuckled through her sniffling at that remark. "There were some months when I never even caught a glimpse of either one of them. I knew my father valued 'nice' things. It would never have occurred to me to try being bad in an effort to make him love me."
"How did you get along by yourself?"
Bella did smile then. "I was well cared for by servants." Well cared for, yes. But she'd never really been cared about—not by anyone.
"I always wished my father would care about me like you care for Kaydie. The sight of you two curled up there together reminded me of that."
She thought of the few times she had seen her father up close, remembering him as the most beautiful, the most charismatic human being who had ever lived. The moment he stepped into a room the whole place came alive with energy.
Cal seemed to be made in the same mold. His mere presence shook her soul. He could've also been the same kind of thoughtless and uncaring charmer her father had been. And like her former fiancé, Enrique, had turned out to be.
But there was something more to Cal. He'd been tender with his child and obviously cared about family. He was definitely not from the same mold as the other two men she'd tried so hard to make fall in love with her.
"I care about you, darlin'," he drawled as if he had been reading her mind.
For the whole time Bella had been speaking, Cal had been absently patting the baby's back as she'd lain cuddled close to him. He set Kaydie down gently next to him on the sofa and edged closer to Bella.
"I don't like to see you so sad," he murmured as he placed his arm around her shoulders.
The quick arousal was a surprise. But not unwelcome.
Her pulse jumped as he slid his hand up and down her back, mimicking the moves he'd been making with Kaydie.
But with Bella, his tender touches made crazy jolts rocket around in her stomach. And when his palm moved down to cup her bottom, the jolts headed lower, too.
No. His caresses were not at all the same with her as they had been with his daughter.
"Uh … Cal. I don't think this is the right time for…" Bella wasn't accustomed to feeling hesitant or unsure. But this was a situation that threw her off course.
She bit into her bottom lip and tried to decide what she really wanted from him. But then something sharp came into his eyes, a look that had her already-rapid pulse skipping at a faster rate.
"Hell, sweetheart, don't think." He pulled her to his chest. "Just come on over here, and we'll see what seems right to do."
* * *
Five
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Cal dragged Bella into his embrace. He forgot about wanting to wait until she grew to like him. He forgot that he should've apologized for being an ass. And he forgot all about the baby sleeping on the couch next to them.
He couldn't think of anything but Bella.
Her scent of soap and clean fresh air had stirred his hunger. The burned-butter color her eyes became in this light had mesmerized him. But when her tongue glided over her bottom lip, leaving a residue of glistening wetness, nothing else seemed to matter. The fantasy of sinking his teeth into that spot and tasting the liquid fire he knew he'd find took over his conscious mind and left him a babbling, yearning idiot.
It was madness. Urgent and wanton madness.
He took possession of her mouth. Using his teeth on that bottom lip, he scraped it into his own mouth and sucked gently.
Ah … the sweet taste of her was everything he'd dreamed it would be and more. Honey and musk—with a hint of some peppery spice that had to be Bella's alone.
She made a small sound deep in her throat, a noise that seemed exactly as primitive as the need that roared through him at the moment. The minute she aligned her body to his and opened her arms wide, he responded in kind by letting his hands roam where they would.
His fingers slid down her arms, but the thick sweatshirt she wore was not what he wanted. She edged closer to him and put her hands against his chest. That did it. One of his hands moved to the silky skin at the nape of her neck.
The other hand slid down her rib cage and closed over her breast. She quaked and groaned, arching against his palm as if she'd been desperate to have him do just that.
He savaged her mouth—while her hands clawed at his shirt. Wanting nothing so much at this moment as the feel of her ripe golden skin beneath his fingers, he reached for the edge of the fleecy shirt. With one quick move, he slid his hands underneath and found the steamy heat of her body waiting for him.
Groans of pure pleasure came from them both.
He tore his mouth away from her lips and moved down the satiny skin of her neck. "I've wanted to do this from the moment I first laid eyes on you."
She threw her chin up so he could feast on her throat. "I know," she whispered. "I've wanted…"
Cal began to drag the offending sweatshirt up and over her head. Skin on skin. The insane madness urged him onward ever faster. She wanted him; she'd said so.
He'd have what he needed now and finally get her out of his system. They'd worry about all the rest of their problems later.
But just then Kaydie stirred beside him and made cooing baby noises in her sleep. The rest came back into his mind with a clash of softer needs.
Bella felt Cal move back from her before he physically withdrew. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on him, her vision blurred by passion and need. His pupils were still wide and black and hungrily drank her in.
But too soon he dropped his arms to his sides and the look in his eyes changed, telling her he was putting distance between them.
He cleared hi
s throat. "Bella." He said her name as if it pained him just to be near her. "That wasn't smart."
"I know. I…" Her hands were shaking, so she folded her arms over her chest and tucked them into her armpits. "Why? Why wasn't that smart?"
Cal turned his head and reached for his child. "We haven't known each other long," he mumbled over his shoulder. "And you need to…" When he picked up the baby, Kaydie awoke and started to cry.
Bella had never been more miserable in her whole life. Even being lost by herself in the countryside had not made her feel so all alone.
Cal didn't want her. He'd probably remembered his lost wife when they'd just kissed and had decided that he wasn't ready for a new relationship.
But he was the lucky one. He had his memories and he had his daughter—and more than that, he had his entire family behind him.
Bella had nothing—and no one to care about her. Feeling empty and raw, she stood.
"Where are you going? I thought we should … talk," Cal murmured as he lifted Kaydie into his arms.
"I need a moment. If you'll excuse me?"
But Kaydie had other plans. The baby screamed and reached her arms toward Bella.
Cal appeared to be frustrated for a moment, then looked up at Bella with pleading eyes. "Help? I guess she knows who's best for her."
When Bella didn't make a move, his look changed to desperate. "Please?"
Here was her reason to go on. The same reason that had always given her the will to live. It didn't matter so much that no one had ever loved her—not when she was needed.
And both of the Gentrys in this house badly needed her help.
The next morning, after Bella fed and bathed the baby, she wanted to find out more about the place where she had found refuge. But Cal had not appeared for breakfast. So far. She hadn't even heard him stirring.
Last night each of them had spent most of the evening lost in their own thoughts. They'd eaten a light supper, she'd put Kaydie down for the night and slipped into bed.
Her night had passed fitfully, with nightmares of coyotes and lost children forcing her awake several times. But Kaydie had slept soundly. Apparently her bout with the cold was almost over.
Bella hesitated to awaken Cal. He hadn't really agreed to having her help him with therapy yet. And after yesterday's passionate kiss, she thought it might be best to stay out of his bedroom until it became clearer that their relationship would be limited to friendship.
"Well, nina, let's you and I go for a little stroll, shall we?" Bella finished fastening the baby "running" shoes to Kaydie's feet and picked her up under the arms.
The baby grinned with a toothless giggle as she dangled her feet above the surface of the bed. Kaydie lifted up each foot in turn as if she readily agreed that, indeed, a walk would be a good thing.
"Sorry," she told the little girl. "You're not quite ready to actually walk yet. Especially on the uneven ground around here. But I'll think of something…"
Bella spotted her bundle in the corner. She'd washed and folded her filthy clothes yesterday, but had been more than happy to put Cal's clothes back on. His sweats were soft and warm. Her one pair of jeans and shirt had holes and stains that could never be removed.
"I think this should work." Bella picked up her old shawl. It was threadbare and hadn't added much in the way of warmth, but it would work nicely as a sling to carry the baby.
She found a woolly cap and sweater for Kaydie and arranged her against her chest like the Native women did. "There you go. Now you can see our new neighborhood, too." The baby was tied snugly against her, facing out to view the world.
Bella left Cal a note. Just in case he awoke and wondered where she'd taken his child.
Surveying the area around the cabin, the two newcomers spent about an hour scouting out their new place. They found the nearby creek and admired the willows and pecans growing at its banks. Then they saw a windbreak that someone had erected to shelter animals from the elements.
"Maybe we should keep our new horse here, baby. What do you think?" Bella murmured.
The little girl didn't answer. But when Bella checked, she found Kaydie's eyes were wide-open as she quietly took in every detail of her surroundings.
When Bella figured that the baby would be getting tired, she headed back toward the cabin. She was also curious to see if the baby's daddy had arisen and wanted his breakfast by now.
When she walked up the slight incline to where she could view the cabin, it surprised her to see people climbing in and out of several trucks. And there was lots of activity near the house, too. "Look at that, Kaydie. We have company."
As they came closer, she spotted Cinco—and Cal. Cinco was supervising men as they took pieces of equipment off a truckbed and carried them into the house. Bella recognized a set of walking bars and weights among the things they'd brought.
It was harder for her to see what Cal was doing. He'd leaned up against another truck and was talking to a beautiful, blond woman. She was tall and statuesque in pants and leather jacket.
The swift jolt of jealousy caught Bella off guard. Cal was grinning at the other woman, while the wind was playing games with his chestnut-colored hair. The sun had kissed his cheeks, deepening his skin color to a wonderful shade of bronze. He looked young—and so handsome that Bella nearly wept with the pure joy of seeing him.
She wished he would someday look at her the way he gazed at this Anglo woman. As soon as she'd had the thought, Bella recanted. No, she chided herself. He's just another ladies' man. And he will never be more than simply a patient and perhaps a friend. There was no "someday" in their future.
Things must always remain that way, she thought. Her sanity and her heart depended on it.
"Bella!" Cal called out the minute he spotted her walking toward him.
The lights in his eyes danced over her as she came closer. "Well, just look at Kaydie, sleeping peacefully in her little cocoon. What a wonderful idea."
He reached for her arm and pulled her closer. "Bella, I want you to meet my sister-in-law, Meredith."
Cal was beaming, totally in his element surrounded by women. "Meredith is the best ex-Air-Force pilot you'll ever meet … and she's a damn good sister, too."
Ah … the wife of the brother. Bella relaxed her shoulders and the corners of her mouth.
"Hi, Bella. I'm glad to meet you." Meredith took her hand but didn't smile as she studied her. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Oh? I hope what you heard was good, Señora Gentry."
"Hmm. Too good. Cinco did nothing but rave about the exotic beauty that had arrived on Gentry Ranch. I wasn't about to let him come out here again without me."
Bella was a little confused. "But why…?"
Cal chuckled. "Cinco and Meredith haven't even been married a year yet. She was jealous and had to come check you out for herself, sugar."
"Of me? You have no reason to be jealous of me, señora. You are so beautiful."
Meredith drew her shoulders back and stood tall. Her face was flaming and she frowned at Cal. But then she turned back to Bella and smiled.
"You are every bit as pretty as Cinco said, Bella. But I wish you'd call me Meredith." Meredith's gaze landed on the baby and her eyes lit up as if the little one was a wonderful present she'd just been given. "I love the way you're carrying Kaydie on your chest like that. Ohhh… She is so adorable in her little cap and sweater. Do you think I could hold her a minute?"
Bella put a hand under the baby while she untied the shawl. "Certainly. She fell asleep a little while ago, but she's probably ready to wake up and visit with us."
Meredith took Kaydie into her arms as the baby opened her eyes and looked around. Meredith held her close and jiggled her up and down, waiting until Kaydie was fully awake to play with her.
"You know, Bella," Meredith began as she patted the baby. "I saw a backpack baby carrier that can convert to a front pack in a store last week. It accomplishes about the same thing as your shawl … except it might
be a little sturdier. Maybe you'd like to go to town with me and see if the thing would fit you and Kaydie."
"Oh, that would be very nice. I'd like to see about getting some new clothes to wear, as well." Bella liked this woman, the warm smile Meredith bestowed on her and the way she fussed over the baby.
She turned to Cal, who'd been extremely quiet and still for several minutes. "Would you be all right by yourself for a while if Kaydie and I went shopping?"
"No." The sharp word escaped his mouth before he had a chance to call it back. "I mean … I need you to drive Kaydie and me to her new doctor. We can stop at the store afterward if you wish."
Meredith eyed him suspiciously. "That's fine. Bella and I can shop another time." She changed her expression back to a sweet smile for Bella. "By the way, Cinco wanted you to supervise the men who're building the chicken pen back near the kitchen door." She pointed toward the house.
"Oh, the laying hens!" Bella looked excited. "I should go…"
"Go ahead, sugar," he told her. "After you do that, you'd better go check on the herd of horses my brother had delivered a little while ago, too."
"Herd?"
"Hell, yes. I consider three mares a damn herd."
"I should go, then." She reached a hand to touch Kaydie's head. "The baby will be okay?"
"She'll be fine," Meredith told her.
Bella pulled her hand back, nodded to Meredith and marched away toward the men who were struggling with the chicken wire. Her long fine hair jauntily swung above her swaying hips.
The minute she was out of earshot, Meredith rounded on him. "Just which one of us was jealous, brother?"
"Isn't she spectacular, Meri? Those big brown eyes and that expressive mouth…"
"I guess you've got it bad, if you don't even want to let her out of your sight long enough to take a shopping trip." Meredith planted a soft kiss on Kaydie's forehead. "She's only been here a few days, Cal. Don't you think you should go a little slower? She's a foreigner in a strange place with no friends. Rushing her might be a big mistake."