by Amy Brent
“Daddy’s already gone back to work,” Cody said, leaning into the table and cocking his head at me. He stared at me for a moment, like he was trying to see through me.
“What?” I asked.
“What did you do, Shelby?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.”
He lifted his chin to look me in the eye. “What happened last night?”
I tried to feign ignorance, but it was no use. Cody had always been able to work the truth out of me.
I said, “We were in a motel, all right. Is that okay with you? We are consenting adults, you know. What we do is none of your business.”
Cody spread out his big hands like he was releasing a pair of doves into the air. “I don’t give a good goddamn that you two are fucking again, Shelby,” he growled. “What I care about is the fact that Luke hasn’t been home ten minutes and you’re already back trying to control his life.”
“That’s bullshit,” I snapped, giving him a hard frown. “I’m just trying to keep him safe.”
“No, Shelby, you’re not. You’re doing exactly what you did six years ago, and if you’re not careful, things are gonna end up the same way and you won’t see him for another six years. Maybe more this time.”
I blinked at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You wanted to go to A&M and Luke wanted to ride the rodeo circuit,” Cody said, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. “You pestered the living hell out of him. You wanted him to move to College Station and enroll in classes and play house with you.”
“I did not.” Yes, I did, but I didn’t want to admit it to him.
“You harped on the boy until he was almost ready to do it, too,” Cody said, head bobbing. “He came to me and said he was gonna give it a try just to make you happy. Fuck, Shelby, the boy barely graduated high school and you wanted him to apply to A&M? He wasn’t gonna get into A&M. And if he had, he would have been miserable because he put his dreams on hold for you.”
“He could have gone to the community college there,” I said. “Or the tech school. He could have made something of himself and be earning a good living now.”
“Doing what? Working as a mechanic at the Ford dealership? Or crawling under houses running fucking sewer pipes? Do you seriously think that would have made him happy?”
“I would have made him happy,” I said, though it didn’t come out as convincing as I’d hoped. “Besides, if he had come away with me he wouldn’t be upstairs right now with a big gash in his side.”
“No, he’d probably be somewhere working his ass off at some shit job he hated just to pay you child support.”
“You’re such an asshole,” I said, gritting my teeth, trying not to cry.
“And you’re such a selfish little girl.”
“Fuck you, Cody.”
“Fuck you, Shelby.”
I clenched my jaws and looked away from him. I wiped my eyes with the tips of my fingers and shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re acting like this. Such an asshole.”
Cody huffed a heavy sigh and flattened his palms on the table like he was bracing himself against a stiff wind. He said, “I’m gonna tell you something, Shelby, and I know you’re gonna be pissed, but you need to know the truth.”
“What truth?” I asked, dreading his answer, though I didn’t know why.
“He was gonna go with you,” Cody said quietly. “He came to me and said he was gonna forget about riding bulls so he could go to College Station with you.”
I blinked at him through the tears. “He was?”
“Yes, he was.”
I took a deep breath. I didn’t know why, but my hands were starting to shake. I wrapped my fingers around the tea glass to keep them still. “What did you tell him?”
Cody looked me in the eye. “I told him he was a goddamn fool if he was gonna put his dreams on hold to help you chase yours.”
My jaw fell open. “You what?”
“I told him that if he went with you to College Station, he would be miserable. And he would have made you miserable. I told him the best thing he could do was to pack up his shit and hit the circuit and let you go to college.”
“What… how dare you…”
“I knew y’all loved each other, but your dreams were set too far apart. You were chasing different stars, Shelby, in different parts of the sky. And it wasn’t fair for you to expect him to put his dreams on hold just because you didn’t want to be alone.”
“Oh my god…” I said, putting my hands to my cheeks. “What gave you the right? How dare you interfere in my life?”
“I told you that you were gonna be pissed,” Cody said with a shrug. He popped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and chewed for a moment, then drained the tea glass to wash it down. He got up from the table to set his dishes in the sink.
“Don’t you leave,” I said, seething at him. My face must have been red as a beet because I could feel the blood pumping through my brain. “I’m not done talking to you yet.”
“Well, I’m done talking to you,” Cody said. He dug two fingers into the pocket of his shirt and brought out a slip of paper and handed it to me.
“What is this?” I asked, opening the paper which had a name and phone number on it.
“That guy called yesterday,” Cody said. “About a job you applied for before you came home.”
“Oh my god,” I muttered, recognizing the name as the corporate recruiter from Monsanto I’d met with a few months before. Monsanto was the largest producer of seeds in the country. Working in their research lab was my dream job. The job was in Houston, three hours away.
“Don’t do it again, Shelby,” Cody said as he plucked his dusty hat off the rack by the back door and set it on his head. “Don’t try to make him choose your dream over his. This time, you might not get him back.”
Shelby
I waited until Cody was out the door and headed toward the barn before getting up to find my cell phone. I was so mad at him I could have chewed nails, but I’d have to deal with him later. Right now, my attention was on the slip of paper in my hand.
I found my cell phone in my purse by the front door and took into Daddy’s study, which was what he called the small room off the foyer that held a worn red leather chair older than me, a side table with his pipe, tobacco pouch, and silver lighter in the shape of a western pistol, and a big glass ashtray that always seemed to need emptying.
There was a brass floor lamp with a dusty shade and a wall of shelves that held a couple thousand western novels by Zane Grey, Louis L’Amour, Larry McMurtry, and other authors I’d never heard of.
I closed the door, sat on the edge of the chair, and punched in the number. I cleared my throat a dozen times as the phone rang. A receptionist answered and I asked for Ted Pruitt.
“Hi, Mr. Pruitt, this is Shelby Cates. I had a message that you had called yesterday.” I listened for a moment, almost hoping that he was just calling to tell me that there was no place for me at Monsanto. I’d just gotten Luke back in my life. It was too soon to let life tear us apart again.
“Yes, sir, that’s wonderful news, of course I accept. Yes, please email me the offer letter and I’ll sign it and send it back immediately. Yes, sir, a week from Monday sounds fine. Thank you, sir. Thank you.”
I hung up the phone and put a hand over my heart.
It felt like it was gonna beat right out of my chest.
Shit. I mean, yay!
My dream job had just become a reality.
Today was Friday.
A week from Monday I’d start my career as a research scientist at Monsanto’s Houston labs, doing research and development on new seed hybrids.
I couldn’t wait to tell Luke.
Surely, he’d want to come with me.
Luke
The day we got back to the ranch I slept almost fifteen hours straight. Cody said Shelby
was so worried that she kept coming in to check on me to make sure I was still breathing.
When I finally managed to pry my eyes open and my ass out of bed, she wrapped plastic wrap around my waist and over my bandages so I could take a shower. I felt like a damned convenience store burrito. It was all I could do to resist pulling her into the shower with me. I would have loved to have soaped up her big titties and fucked her from behind as the hot water sprayed down on us. Sadly, that would be a fantasy we’d have to play out another day, when her Daddy and his shotgun weren’t around.
It was kind of nice showering alone, though. Taking my time, letting the hot water jets beat against my sore shoulders and neck. Fuck, just getting a week’s worth of hospital grime and sex goo off me made me feel a hundred times better.
I spent the next few days in bed most of the time, but slowly started moving around the house. Shelby refused to let me do much other than move from bed to kitchen chair to porch swing to bed. She fed me like a damn horse, insisting that I eat every bite of food she put in front of me.
Finally, I felt good enough to get out of bed for most of the day. I borrowed some of Cody’s clothes and underwear and socks. I’d lost a considerable amount of weight, so Cody’s clothes hung on me like a set of bad drapes. Shelby had to help me pull on my boots, but other than that I managed on my own.
The scar was healing well and the pain was subsiding, although I still had to be careful because sometimes the pain would hit out of nowhere and hitch me over double for a minute or two. I recalled the doc telling me that anytime they worked on your insides, it could take months, if not years, to completely heal. Screw that. I didn’t have years to lay on my ass. I wasn’t getting no younger.
I didn’t mention it to Shelby, but I planned to be back on a bull soon as the rodeo season started again in a few months.
I didn’t mention it because I knew she would go through the roof.
She kept making these little comments about how dangerous bull riding was, and how I wasn’t getting no younger, and how I ought’a be thinking about my long-term future.
I let the comments go, partially because I didn’t have the strength yet to argue with her and partially because I knew she was right.
Bull riding was dangerous and I wasn’t getting no younger.
And I rarely thought past my next ride.
But goddammit, I wasn’t ready to just roll over and die.
At least not yet.
* * *
I was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee when the screen door opened and Alvin Lee came in, wiping sweat off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. A cloud of dust followed him in. He hung his hat on the rack by the door and gave me the eye.
“How you feeling, boy?” he asked. He went to the sink and washed his hands, then opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He twisted off the cap and took the chair next to me.
“I’m better every day,” I said with my hand on my side. “I’ll be out there riding and roping with you and Cody before you know it.”
“Don’t rush it,” he said, shaking his head with the bottle at his lips. He wiped his bushy mustache with his fingers. “Worse thing you can do is get back on a horse or a bull too soon and have your guts pop out in the middle of the arena.”
“Yes, sir, that’s the truth.” I smiled and gave him little a nod. I held my coffee cup between my hands and stared into it. I didn’t want to look him in the eye because I had the fear that he would see guilt all over my face. I had done nasty things to his little girl and I knew that he would see that in my eyes. I could tell he was watching me. I could feel his steel blue eyes burning into my face like a hot branding iron.
“So, Luke, what’s you plan?” he asked, sitting back with the water resting on his chest.
I glanced up and shrugged. “Reckon I’ll heal up and get back on the road.”
“No, son, I mean what’s your plan regarding Shelby?”
I glanced up again and my eyes locked on his. I tried not to blink. “Sir?
“I asked what’s your plan regarding Shelby.”
“Um, well, I’m not sure I understand the question.”
He huffed and shook his head at me. “Son, do you think I’m stupid?”
“No, sir,” I said quickly. “You’re probably the smartest man I know.”
He chucked and rubbed a knuckle under his nose. “Son, if that’s the case you need to greatly widen your social circle.” He grinned at me for a moment, then put his elbows on the table and leaned in over them. “I know about you and Shelby. I always have.”
I blinked at him. “You have?”
“I have. I also know she’s been head over heels for you since she was a teenager,” he said, cutting his eyes at me. “And I expect you’ve always had feelings for her. At least I hope you have. I’d hate to think that you were just using her.” He gave me a moment to respond. I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded and hoped it would suffice.
“I was young once, I know the things that teenagers do,” he said with a heavy sigh. “And I also know the things that grownups do.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I said. My eyes went around the room, looking for a shotgun that might be leaning in a corner.
“I mean y’all are not teenagers anymore,” he said, the humor draining from his face to make room for a scowl that made me lean back in my chair. “Y’all can’t just run off to the barn to fool around and then get back to business anymore. Teenagers have hormones. Adults have feelings.” He narrowed his eyes at me again. “You get my meaning now?”
“Yes, sir,” I said, swallowing hard. “I believe so.”
“So, I’ll ask you again. What’s your plan regarding Shelby?”
I blew out a long sigh and spread my hands. “I’m not sure I have a plan.” A sharp pain bit at my guts. I put a hand to my side and tried not to wince. “I mean, to be honest with you, I didn’t expect to need a plan until I saw her walk into that hospital room a few days ago.”
Alvin Lee’s head bobbed, like he understood. He was an old cowboy. He’d ridden the circuit back in the day. He understood the lure of the road and the ride. But he also understood the love of a good woman, even though it was something he’d never really had.
He finished off the bottle of water and set it aside, then brushed the knuckle across his lips and gave me a firm look. “I’m just gonna say one thing on the subject and then I’ll shut up,” he said. “If you love her, hang on to her for dear life because there ain’t too many women like Shelby. But if you’re just messing with her to pass the time, well, son, it would be best if you heal up and move on quick as you can.”
“Yes, sir, I understand.”
He got up from the table, plucked his hat off the rack and worked it between his hands for a moment. He set his hand on the screen door, but paused before pushing it open.
“I reckon you know that if you break her heart you’ll have to answer to me,” he said without looking back at me.
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I understand.”
“All right then.” He set the hat on his head, pushed open the screen, and went out the door.
I blew out a long breath and rubbed my eyes.
What was my plan regarding Shelby?
I had no fucking clue.
Shelby
It was Wednesday already and I hadn’t mentioned the Monsanto job to Luke, even though I had to leave on Sunday. I had told Cody about the job and made him swear that he wouldn’t say a word, not even to Daddy, who would want to make a big deal over it.
“You ain’t told Luke yet?” Cody asked as we stood at the sink washing the dinner dishes. I glanced out the window over the sink. Luke was moving around pretty good now, getting out of bed and walking around the house, sitting on the porch. I could see him standing at the corral with Daddy, their long arms draped over the top rail, shoulder to shoulder, chatting like old pals. They were watching one of the cowboys trot a new pony around the corral.
“I’ll tell him when the time is right,” I said.
“When’s that gonna be?” Cody asked, holding out a dripping plate for me to dry.
“Soon,” I said. “Stop pestering me.”
“No time like the present,” Cody said, nodding out the window. “Here he comes. Dry off your hands, put on a smile, and tell him what’s going on. You owe him the truth, Shelby. You need to tell him tonight.”
“You’re right,” I said, drying my hands on a dish towel. “You got this?”
“Who do you think did the dishes while you were at school?” Cody said with a grin. He glanced out the window. Luke and Daddy were almost to the porch. “Go on. Tell him now.”
* * *
“Sure is a nice night,” Luke said as we walked hand in hand past the barn where we’d first made love. I resisted the urge to drag him inside and rip his clothes off. We hadn’t made love since he’d been home and even though he put on a brave face, I knew his side still hurt him something fierce. The scar was healing up, but one good romp in the barn could send him back to the hospital. I wanted to fuck his brains out, but not at the cost of popping his stitches again.
We walked past the barn where the pastures started. About thirty yards out, at the top of a hill, was a giant elm tree that we used to climb when we were kids. It loomed dark and large as the sky behind it turned purple.