"As long as the spells are working. We can jump safely to the ground and-"
"Wait just a moment," Thaxton said as he bounded up to the ledge. "If a man fell off the highest part of the castle, from the highest parapet, are you telling me that there's a chance he could survive?"
"Why, yes," Osmirik said. "If the spell on that part of the castle were still effectively running. One such spell cannot cover the whole castle, and they do fail now and then-"
"But is there a chance he might survive such a fall?"
"Why, yes, that's exactly what I am saying, Lord Peter. And we have that same chance. If we can but screw our courage to the sticking point-"
"Ta ta!" Thaxton said happily as he jumped from the ledge.
"Gods!"
Osmirik watched him drop. Astonished, Kwip leaned out of the window and witnessed with him. Neither could quite believe his eyes.
"Why… it works," Osmirik said in awe.
"I'll be buggered six ways from Whitsuntide."
"Well," Osmirik said. "We shall meet below. I hope." Osmirik jumped.
Kwip watched again. He still could not fathom it.
"I do believe something strange is going on here," said a voice behind him. Kwip whirled about.
And there stood a giant rabbit. The thing was about seventeen hands tall from its huge feet to the tips of its long ears. The fur was a bright hot pink where not covered by a morning coat and ascot, pinstriped pants, and spats. No shoes. The rabbit was smoking a meerschaum pipe.
"So," the rabbit said, puffing philosophically. "Doing a little Zen skydiving, eh?"
Kwip's eyes widened to saucer-size. He turned and dove out the window.
ANOTHER WORLD
The Sidewise Voyager plunged, if not earthward, then otherworldward.
As calmly as possible, Melanie asked, "Uh, Jeremy? Is there anything we can do?"
"Well, we can always go back into non-space," Jeremy said.
Sitting on Jeremy's lap, Isis shook her head. "O'course," Jeremy went on, "that's no solution. We can't stay there indefinitely. But with no antigrav we can't land anywhere to fix anything. So we're kinda stuck."
Melanie looked through the view port. The ground was coming up frighteningly fast.
"Uh, maybe we'd better do something, like, soon?"
"But if we spend any more time in non-space," Jeremy said, "the ship's hull will take a beating. It can only handle so much stress. What we should do is maybe try a shuffle."
"A shuffle?"
Isis said, "We send the craft on a tangential course, touching each universe in succession but not really entering except for the briefest nanosecond. But that presents another problem."
"Yeah, we get even loster that way," Jeremy said.
"Well, technically that's not true," Isis said. "Without a functioning nav system, we're lost, period. It's just that we could shuffle forever, trying to luck into the castle's universe."
Melanie watched as the ground raced upward at an alarming rate. She said, "Uh, people, I suggest we do something, anything, right now."
Jeremy said, "Huh? Oh, yeah." He reached and flipped a switch.
The view port went completely blank. Outside was nothing but an indeterminate grayness. Non-space; nothingness; nowhere.
Melanie let out a sigh of relief.
"I guess we can stay in non-space long enough to set up a shuffle," Jeremy said. "If we should want to do one."
"Definitely not," Isis said.
"You don't think so?"
"No. We should try to jury-rig a software patch."
"Yeah? How?"
"We use the schematics on board to simulate a nav unit."
Jeremy brightened. "Hey, that's an idea. But how do we calibrate it?"
"By using the readings that are in the storage buffer."
"Might work," Jeremy said. "Might work. But… hmmm."
"Objections?"
"Well, the time factor, for one."
"Good point," Isis said. "But I have a plan. We shuffle until we find an empty universe or one with no planetary masses nearby. We'll be in zero-g, but we can manage."
Jeremy shook his head. "I dunno. First of all… wait a minute. Doesn't this ship always drop in near a planetary mass because it sniffs out big masses in non-space first?"
"Exactly. So we'll have to override."
"Boy, that'll take even more time."
"Certainly. But we have no choice. Of course, we have the option of dropping in and out of non-space."
"That's too risky, and besides we can't do much with the ship systems when we need 'em to fly."
"True again."
"But I don't like-" Jeremy glanced at the control panel. "Oops, better get back into normal space before we get squished."
"Squished?" Melanie said.
Jeremy looked at her. "Yeah, the pressure could flatten us like an aluminum beer can."
The sky-or another one-appeared again, and again the ship began to nose over and dive for the ground. To Melanie the experience was beginning to seem like being trapped on an endless roller coaster ride. Her stomach did a flip-flop.
Jeremy and Isis debated again while the ship dove. Melanie waited as long as she could stand it, then shouted a warning. Jeremy responded, sending the ship back into non-space. Jeremy and his "assistant" then carried on the technical discussion until it became time to dump back into normal space. And the horrifying cycle began over again. Melanie couldn't bear it.
"Jeremy," she said. "Do something."
"Huh?"
"Do something. Get us back home. I don't care how you do it."
"Hey, we're trying, Melanie."
"You're not trying hard enough. If this up and down stuff goes on any longer, I'm going to puke all over the compartment."
"Don't get it on the controls, please!"
"Jeremy, it's going to go all over the place. I'm sick, Jeremy. It's coming up. I can feel it."
Jeremy made a face. "Oh, God, please don't. I can't stand it when that happens. Makes me wanna puke, too."
"Then do something, Jeremy. You're supposed to be a genius."
"Wait, I have an idea," Isis said. "Jeremy, you were taking readings on the location of the magical disturbance shortly before you took the ship out, weren't you?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Why don't we use the ship's sensors to detect the spell from non-space? That would give us the vector parameters for home, wouldn't it?"
Jeremy snapped his fingers. "It would if you recorded the readings for me to calibrate the sensors with."
Isis smiled. "I did, Jeremy. I automatically record everything you do at the work station. The buffer has it all."
"Great! Isis, I love you."
"Jeremy, darling!"
The two embraced as the ground rushed up yet again. Melanie screamed, "We are going to fucking crash if you people don't get on the stick!"
"Sorry!" Isis said and swiveled toward the control panel. She hit the thruster just in the nick of time. The Voyager slipped back into the temporary safety of non-space. Melanie nearly fainted.
"One thing," Jeremy said. "Those coordinates, the ones pinpointing the disturbance, could be anywhere in the castle. We'll materialize there. It could be a broom closet, for all we know. We have enough trouble landing in the graving dock, which is, like, huge."
"We will be cutting it very close, Jeremy dear. But if we get our entry velocity down as close to zero as we possibly can, we'll have a very good chance of making it with minimum casualties."
"That's going to take some fancy math," Jeremy said.
"Math is our business," Isis said brightly. "Now, dear, let's get to work. We have only forty-five seconds left before we have to dip back into normal space again."
"Right. Boost your clock speed to five hundred megahertz."
"Done, dearest Jeremy."
Melanie rolled her eyes. Minimum casualties. Wonderful. Suddenly realizing that the Gooch brothers hadn't uttered a peep in some time, Melanie looked b
ack.
They were fast asleep.
BAY SHORE
The strand was deserted. The great ships were gone, but men had left their signs everywhere. Here a sandal, there a piece of armor; elsewhere a broken blade, already painted in verdigris, a blue-green shard in the sand. There were other things: abandoned fire pits; discarded articles of clothing, sun-bleached rags. More, much more. The shore was littered with refuse.
He walked by the edge of the water, snorting and sniffing. The water smelled fishy, brackish. He climbed a dune and bent to nibble beach grass. It was salty, otherwise tasteless. There was not much to eat and he was hungry. Sand flies tickled him, and he swished his tail absently.
The day had dawned clear. There had been no men about since the night before. They were all gone. He did not miss them much.
Not at all, in fact.
But now he again heard the voices of men. He turned his maned head to look.
Two men approached. They looked not unlike the other men, but wore different dress. More colorful.
"What a beauty this one is!"
"A white stallion, like the others. Why do you think they left them?"
"Who knows? Why did they leave so suddenly?"
"We beat them off, that's why! Here now, fellow. Easy, easy."
One of them petted him. He didn't quite like that. But he let a looped rope be put over his head and around his neck.
"Easy, boy. Gods, what a horse! Spirited, but wellbroken. Perfect."
"Big one. Too big for the saddle I've got."
"Oh? So, you won't mind if I take him."
"What? I saw him first."
"You just said your saddle isn't big enough."
"To hell with that. He's mine."
"Here, now. There may be others."
"Or there may not be. He's mine, I tell you."
"Shove off."
"You shove off! Oh, so it's going to be that way, eh?"
"You don't want to go up against me."
"Don't make me laugh. I'll slit you from gills to gullet before you can-"
"Hold off, you two!"
Another man, this one shorter but with a voice that seemed to carry more authority.
"Sheathe those swords! Now!"
"Yes, Sir."
"Where did this one come from?"
"Just wandering about like the others, sir."
"A fine specimen. The best of the lot. I'll relieve you of it, subaltern."
Reluctantly, "Yes, Sir. Very good, sir."
"What a magnificent horse! A gift of the gods, in honor of our victory. It must be so."
"Very likely, sir."
"Yes, yes. The Arkadians wouldn't have left anything so beautiful, so valuable."
The new man slapped his rump.
"The Arkadians didn't have much to leave behind, did they, boy? Except their dead." He laughed. "And now, with their war chests depleted, we'll take to raiding their coasts and plundering their towns at our leisure. Won't we, boy?"
Another slap on the rump, another burst of laughter: Weasel.
"You two take the other horses back. Put them in the palace stable."
"Not in your personal stable, sir?"
"Don't be absurd. All these animals are the property of His Majesty. Now, do as I tell you. I'll take this one to the palace myself."
"Yes, sir."
The first two left. The one remaining stroked his neck lovingly.
"Yes, you'll stay in the royal stables, but you're mine. I'll ride you down the main street of Mykos. You'll have new armor, burnished like the sun, and a new war mantle. No dragging chariots for you, my fine fellow. I'll be sitting on you when we watch them lop off old Anthaemion's head."
He was led away.
Yeah, right. You don't know it, pal, but you are going to get yours. Tonight.
The stables smelled bad but he didn't mind so much. The hay was good, what little there was of it. At midday, oats was served. It was tasty. But as the day wore on, the stable hands seemed to slack off. They missed the evening feed altogether. They were falling-down drunk by then.
There was much jubilation in the city. Voices were raised in triumphant shouts. He heard singing, much singing, heard crowds move about. He saw women run by; then, men running after them with hungry smiles on their faces.
Night fell, and the celebration went on. The citadel rang with laughter and song. A thousand lamps blazed up on the acropolis, where choruses sang hymns of thanks to the gods. Elsewhere there was feasting and drinking. Much drinking. Bonfires lit up the night.
There was a bay roan filly at the other end of the stable. She smelled good to him and he wanted to get to know her. But there was work to do. Later. Later that night. Besides, he must remember who he was and what he was.
The dead of night arrived. The city was quiet. Voices had stilled and the fires were embers now and all the lamps had gone out on the acropolis.
A dog barked, far away. A wind had come up, sounding over the unmanned walls of the citadel. Most of the lookouts had drunk themselves into a stupor. Most of the city's soldiery were sprawled in their wives' or lovers' beds, or in the stables, or in the gutter.
It was time to remember that he was not what he seemed to be, though it was a very difficult thing to accept. It seemed that he had always been like this. This was a natural state of being for him. There were no concerns, there was no worrying. It was easy to be this way. He rather liked it.
But he knew, he knew. He was not a horse. He was a man. And it was time to stop being a horse. To do that, he had only to want to be a man again.
Did he want to be a man again? Yes. So…
Now.
He was down on his hands and knees in the stall, naked. The floor reeked of dung.
"Yuck."
He got up, bent to gather straw, and cleaned himself. Then he looked about. No one. Nothing was stirring. He wondered where Telamon was, and if his magical transformation had reversed yet.
He moved cautiously out of the stall, unlatching the gate carefully. He looked up and down the mews. It was dark and he heard not a sound.
He walked from stall to stall, searching for white stallions. He saw horses, but none white.
He came to a seemingly empty stall and looked in.
His servant Strephon rose from a crouch out of the darkness.
"It is I, master."
"Where's Telamon?"
"I saw him. He is looking for you."
"Go find him, bring him here."
"Yes, master."
Strephon walked off into the darkness of the stable. Very soon he returned with two men. Trent smiled at Telamon and his servant Ion.
Trent asked, "Where are the other two?"
"Still in their stalls, waiting."
"Send Ion to get them. They've reverted, haven't they?"
"Yes. I think we all reverted on schedule. You are a brilliant sorcerer, my friend. I really, truly was a horse. I saw the world as a horse sees it. It was… strange. Yet absolutely marvelous."
Trent nodding, smiling. "It is an amazing experience. You get the idea that it might be better to be an animal rather than a human."
"Yes. Remarkable. Go, Ion. Fetch the others." Ion stole away into the gloom.
"What now?" Telamon said. "Can we find weapons?"
"Easily, though we mustn't be seen by anyone who is still awake. I saw enough passed-out troopers out in the mews to accommodate us all. We strip them and take their weapons. And then move down the hill, quietly, quickly, and take the north tower. From the sound of things out there, I'd be surprised if we found one sober Troadean."
"I also heard a lot of commotion earlier. Drunken revelry."
"After two years of hard siege, for it suddenly to be lifted would give one cause to celebrate."
"Indeed," Telamon said.
"But we have to move silently and quickly. Not everyone is unconscious, surely, and there might be one or two guards who take their jobs seriously."
"Understood. Her
e are the others. They know what to do.
"Okay." Trent counted. "All six accounted for. We pair up and go out and forage, then report back here when we have weapons. Clothes are optional. We don't really need them to do our work. If the man you're rolling shows any sign of coming to, kill him quickly and silently. Understood?"
"Understood."
"Above all, make no noise."
"Also understood."
"Telamon, you take Ion. I'll take Strephon. You and you are a team. Okay, is everybody ready?"
Nods.
"Right," Trent said. "Telly, you first. I'll wait sixty beats of the heart before I send the next team out. Okay, go!"
Ion and Telamon left.
"Strangest thing, I was beginning to feel like Mr. Ed, there, for a while."
"Master?"
"Never mind."
The streets were dark and quiet. The wind had grown gusty, its dull roar making it all the more easy to make their way through the city with complete stealth. Following twisted streets, they came down from the acropolis with its grand palace and its temples, into the city proper.
Silence ruled. Windows were dark. Not even an alley cat made an appearance to mark their passing until they got to the poorer sections of town. They heard voices and dispersed into the shadows.
Two drunken soldiers were escorting a drunken woman between them. The three weaved down the street and negotiated the next corner.
Trent watched them. The woman shrieked once, far off. Whether a belly laugh or a cry of dismay, he couldn't tell. It became quiet again. Trent signaled Telamon, and the commando team resumed their mission.
Troas was small, no more than five hundred yards in circumference. A legend even in its own time, it was nonetheless little more than a fortress. They reached the north circuit of the outer wall in short order.
Trent surveyed the battlement from the shadows. Nothing seemed to be stirring above. If lookouts had been posted they were not manning their positions.
He had expected the city to let its guard down, but the extent to which this had occurred was surprising. Had everyone in the place swilled themselves into oblivion? In and around the stables the soldiers they'd rolled hadn't moved a muscle. It had been like undressina manikins. Trent was sure one man had been dead: alcohol poisoning, heart attack, or he'd choked on his own vomitus.
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