by Brianna Jean
Hellfire was in danger according to an upper level Demon. It could be true or false, but rumors held no merit against facts. I just had to figure out the facts.
“Alright, we need to go to sleep,” Lanier stated, standing from the couch and grabbing a piece of pizza from one of the boxes on the table. It was nearly three in the morning. None of us had made a move to eat, but as soon as Lanier did, Cabe grabbed a slice too.
Quint smacked my thigh lightly. “Up, buttercup. I’m exhausted.”
I stood, stretching, pretending that I wasn’t freaking the fuck out.
Where was I going to sleep?
We just settled on an agreement, but I doubted that I’d be able to get away with sleeping in the same bed with one of them while the other two slept alone. Everyone was emotionally weak, and friendship would not be the true nature of our relationship, but I wasn’t comfortable enough to call it anything else.
It wasn’t actually real, what I was feeling, it was influenced by the bond, and I was hoping that once we found a way to complete the ceremony, everything I was feeling would disappear.
Quint walked around me and grabbed a piece of pizza in each hand. He lifted a slice, and I took it, a knowing smile on my face. He was seriously adorable, in a sexy Tasmanian devil sort of way.
“Thanks, Q.” I reached up and gave his cheek a pat, biting down on the cold slice.
I swallowed a few bites, watching Lanier as he moved around the open living space, putting the remote back on the coffee table, organizing the four black decorative pillows on the couch. He was cleaning up. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face. He was all alpha, the leader of his pack.
“So,” I said slowly. “What exactly are the sleeping arrangements?”
Everyone paused, looking at each other. A silent conversation went on between them, leaving me feeling left out until I remembered that I was in tune with their emotions.
No matter what they said next, all of them wanted to sleep next to me. Lanier’s emotions were dominating and final, he wanted me with him. Quint was quickly falling back into that anxious man who was afraid he didn’t fit in.
It was Cabe’s that stood out the most though. My heart hurt when I felt his emotions. I was causing him pain by not allowing him to express his feelings openly, but even still, he wouldn’t push me to feel them.
“Guys,” I interrupted, not liking the tension between them. I wasn’t here to tear them apart. If I was supposed to be their mate, and now their friend, I should be the glue that stuck us all together. Not the sword that drove us all apart.
One by one, they turned to look at me, each of them with a different kind of intensity.
“How about we all crash in Lan’s room? That bed is big enough.” Quint’s shoulders visibly relaxed, but the other two didn’t look convinced. “Look, I know this is weird, but I can feel all of your emotions, remember? I don’t want anyone to be put out. I don’t want negative shit. We’re bonded. I’m almost sick of saying it. The four of us are tethered together, and we should just accept it. All of you want me near, and I’m willing to admit that I feel better when we’re all together.”
I met Lanier’s eyes. The brilliant green was shining with argumentative determination. He wanted me with him. But I wanted the other two with me.
If he wanted me, the other two came as well.
His eyes read mine, searched, saw that I wasn’t willing to budge on this. He eventually nodded. “Fine, we sleep in my room.”
We were quiet as we finished eating, all of us pointedly not looking at each other. It wasn’t awkward though, it was charged. We were all waiting and wondering what it would be like to spend a night together.
Cabe was the first to leave, heading up the stairs with his head hung.
I followed, swallowing the last bite of crust and brushing my hands on Lanier’s joggers. I really needed to get my clothes over here.
He entered the room a few moments before I did and headed straight for the bathroom. I followed, not giving him the space he thought he wanted.
I felt bad, and I couldn’t handle his pain. I needed to give in, just a little, but keep my heart guarded. I wasn’t going to fall for him, I couldn’t, but I could still let him love me. If only for a little while, right?
He tried to close the door, but I was there with my arm out.
“Hey.” I pushed, staring into his scowling face. “Don’t do that, don’t look at me like that.”
“Anna, I’m really trying here.” He turned around and headed into the bathroom, taking a seat on the closed lid of the toilet. I shut the door and leaned up against the counter.
“I know,” I said.
“You fucked Lanier.”
“I did,” I replied in the same tone I used with Quint. I refused to apologize, because I wasn’t fucking sorry. I didn’t want to hurt him or Quint, but I wasn’t going to pretend like I didn’t openly want all of them.
“I don’t know what to do with that.”
I stepped away from the counter and moved toward him, trying like hell to keep my racing heart in check. I wasn’t used to this—comforting another person—but he needed it, and I needed him to go back to normal.
“Look at me,” I said softly. He did, lifting his head to meet my eyes.
God, he was so sad.
“Stand up,” I requested.
He did.
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
“No.”
“Cabe, please.” I was breaking. Which meant he was breaking.
I hated this, I hated this feeling, his torment, the fact that he loved a version of me that I didn’t even remember. I would never be that girl again, but I was in front of him, and if I had to show him affection to not feel this turmoil, then I would do it.
I lifted my hands to the sides of his face and gently pulled his head to mine.
He didn’t return my kiss, just let my lips brush his. I was fragile in that moment, and my defense mechanisms kicked in. I pulled back. “I’m new to this shit, Cabe! I don’t know how to do this; I don’t know how to make you feel better without leading you on and telling you that I can be the girl you used to know. I’m not that girl, but I am right here. I won’t be for long, so I need you to take advantage of this. I need you to stop making me feel this way.”
His face hardened. “Don’t you see that I want you to feel this way? I want you to know how much it hurts to have you here but not with me. I know that you don’t know me, I get that. But you’re so closed off, Annalise! I can’t get in, and I just—”
“Kiss me!” I demanded.
He did.
This time, I wasn’t doing it to prove a point. I was doing it to ease both of our hearts. I kissed him back with soft lips and slow movements. I let him savor it, savor me. His tongue caressed mine in such a gentle way that I began to fight tears. For the second time in seven years, I felt the sensation in the back of my eyelids.
The pressure on my chest, the ache of my heart. It was intensifying, not going away.
I pulled back and sucked in a shaky breath, turning around.
“I love you,” he whispered.
I broke. The dam fell open, and out came years of tears that I refused to shed. I didn’t know why I was crying, but I knew what started it.
Cabe cherished me. He respected me. He told me everything in his kiss. But I’d felt those things before. I’d been cherished and loved, I’d been kissed sweetly and held tightly, and then it was fucking ripped from me. He left, he never looked back.
I couldn’t handle Cabe’s emotions, because I refused to feel like that again and risk the aftermath. The destruction. The fucking heartbreak.
A woman in love broke easier than a woman in a glass house.
I was broken by the world; I refused to be broken by choice.
I felt his arms come around my middle, his body enveloping mine as I broke down. The events of the last few days, the fact that I was now dealing with not only my own, but three other sets of feeli
ngs, it was just too much.
I was tired and confused still, but I was mostly just done.
I truly hated my life, and Cabe knew it. I hated my past, my pain, my demons. I wanted to fucking breathe, to let go, to stop thinking so hard, but I couldn’t figure out how.
“I’m not asking you to love me back, I’m asking you to let me love you. Give me the chance to show you what it means. Keep your heart locked up, I don’t need it. I didn’t need it in order to fall for you, and I most certainly don’t need it now, not when I have you physically here instead. I just need to hold you, to get to know you, to feel like I finally have what I’ve been looking for all this time. I’m not a selfish man, Annalise, I can share. But what I’m feeling isn’t the bond. I felt this way before the bond. I can share you with my brothers, but only if you let me prove to you that you can trust me with your heart.”
I missed my sister, I wished my parents loved me enough to keep me, I wished I never met the evil within my foster father. I wished like hell that I could find a way to love Cabe back, but I didn’t have to. He would give me his love freely, without asking for anything in return.
But deep down, I wasn’t a selfish person either. If he gave that to me…eventually, I would give it to him in return. It was only a matter of time before I was broken all over again, but there was no going back. Not now.
I turned around in his arms and hugged him. Letting him hold me like he wanted. If he wanted to love me, I couldn’t stop him, not if I wanted to have any kind of peace. His broken heart would be the end of me.
I could do this for him, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel fucking incredible.
I lifted my head from his chest and looked up, meeting his eyes. The ocean stared back at me, wild and calming all at once.
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
He smiled, grabbed my face and gave me what I asked for.
Shortly after that, I jumped in the shower, scrubbing the day from my skin. Cabe brushed his teeth, Lanier came in and peed, Quint tried to open the door and join me—I kicked him out.
Wanting to be alone, I scrubbed my face, uncomfortable with my own tears. I hadn’t felt them in so long that the taste was wrong in my mouth.
After getting out and throwing on a pair of the guys’ boxers and someone’s T-shirt I found in the hamper by the door, I padded into the room while drying my hair with a towel. Lanier was sitting in the chair facing the window, working on a laptop in nothing but black pajama bottoms. I licked my lips at the sight of him without a shirt on. He was fucking gorgeous, all dark ink and ripped muscles.
The only light came from the TV mounted on the wall across from the bed, where Cabe and Quint lay back on the pillows, watching it. I studied them, smiling to myself. Both guys were just as hot as their best friend but in totally different ways. I was a lucky fucking girl.
There was room for at least three more people in the bed, but it didn’t look like Lanier was going to join any time soon.
“Come on up, Minx.” Quint patted the space between him and Cabe. I smiled, moving toward him and lifting myself up onto the mattress.
Lanier must have changed the sheets, because the white down comforter was gone and replaced with a black one.
I moved quickly, settling down between them and lying back with my hands on my stomach. I didn’t know what to do with my body, being so close to them, but I promised to follow my instincts, so I relaxed a little, getting comfortable.
We watched Naked and Afraid for about twenty minutes, Lanier still in the chair, before I started to doze off. I felt the comforter move beneath me and lifted my hips sleepily. Someone dragged the fabric over my body as I rolled onto my side toward Cabe.
I wasn’t used to sleeping with people, but I was too tired to care. I just wanted to go to sleep and start a new day in the morning.
We planned to go to my old apartment to get my stuff, and Joey was going to be one hell of an issue. He couldn’t control me, we weren’t together, but he wasn’t going to like the fact that not only was I leaving but I was leaving to live with three other guys. I’d tell him it was temporary, but I doubted that it would matter.
It wasn’t long before the room went quiet, my heartbeat slowed down, the TV was turned off, and we all fell asleep.
All except Lanier, who never came to bed.
The next morning, I was thrown from sleep when the door to Lanier’s bathroom slammed shut.
“What the fuck?” I groaned, burying my head in the sheets. I was not a morning person, not even a little.
“Up, children,” Lanier ordered, walking toward the bedroom door. “We’ll get coffee on the way. Annalise, grab clothes from my closet, we’re going to the fuckboy’s.”
He shut the door behind him before I could reply. “I’m not going anywhere right now, Lanier. Go make breakfast or something,” I shouted, throwing a pillow over my head. Fuck that guy, I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Hell yeah, I can actually sleep in with you around,” Quint mumbled into his pillow, causing me to chuckle.
“He can suck my left tit if he thinks I’m getting out of this bed before ten a.m.” My voice was clouded with sleep. “I don’t work like that.”
“You’re a brat,” Lanier bitched, still standing on the other side of the door like a fucking moron.
“You’re annoying,” I said under my breath, earning a chuckle from Cabe. His body was shaking with silent laughter next to me. “I’m serious, he just got laid yesterday and he’s still wound tighter than a two dollar watch. He needs to fucking chill.”
The door flew open with another loud bang. “I can hear you, Annalise.”
“Don’t care, Stony,” I mocked. Bitch move, I know, but the guy seriously needed to calm down. Joey wouldn’t even be up yet, not to mention ready to handle me and my three new pals. “I was Human less than a week ago, and now I’m sucking blood from your dick and causing blizzards in July. Get the fuck out of here before I rip your balls off and feed them to Quint’s Bull. Hit the gym, go for a run, jack off, do whatever you have to do, but for fuck’s sake, let me sleep.”
I didn’t even open my eyes, didn’t care.
He must have left at some point though, because about three minutes later, Quint whispered, “That was so hot my dick is like steel right now. Just thought you should know.”
I groaned, annoyed as hell, and rolled over to my other side so I was now facing Cabe. His eyes were closed, his face relaxed, making him appear softer, even more beautiful than when he was awake. I reached forward and brushed a strand of blond hair off his forehead, liking the freedom that the bond gave me.
I fell asleep listening to the sound of their hearts as they both tumbled into sleep again, following closely behind me.
When I woke up the second time, I felt much better. Strong, capable, and ready to face my ex-boyfriend. I was nervous, but only because I didn’t want the guys to witness one of my fights with Joey. They always got loud, sometimes got physical, and never failed to make the house shake.
I was about to tell him that I was leaving our apartment to live with three strangers, all of them tatted and ripped, because I was some sort of super Human that was tied to them. Oh, and they were also super Humans.
Spectacular. This was going to be fun.
I strolled into the kitchen casually, finding all the guys in various states of “ready.” Quint was shoving his feet into Timberlands, Cabe was searching for a hat to wear, and Lanier was standing by the door, spinning his keys around his pointer finger with a serious expression.
“You guys do know that you constantly look like those flashy Instagram male models, right? It’s really disgusting how hot you all are,” I said, moving into the room and heading straight for the coffee maker. The one they owned made full pots of coffee but also had a section that brewed individual cups.
I needed one of those bastards, stat.
“Really?” Lanier grumbled. “I told you we would stop for coffee.”
I rolle
d my eyes. “I’m really not a morning person, Lan, you’re gonna need to let me win this one. Just go wait in the car if you’re so impatient. Take a walk or something.”
God, he was antsy.
Why was he acting so fucking weird this morning?
His shoulders were tight, he was searching the room like he was looking for someone, and it wasn’t helping my nerves.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that our fearless leader is anxious to get to the ex-boyfriend’s house,” Quint said as he checked himself out in the gigantic mirror that sat next to the front door. He looked good enough to eat, wearing ripped black jeans, a black sleeveless hoodie that showed the New York skyline, a wicked smile on his face, and his hair a sexy mess on his head. The piercings and tattoos really wrapped up the beautifully twisted package. I was practically drooling all over the floor of the penthouse.
“I want to get this over with. Something feels weird,” Lanier said, checking the time on his phone. I paused, studying him. He was really worried about something, and the look in his eyes dropped a brick in my stomach.
“What’s goin’ on, boss man?” I asked, walking toward him while my coffee brewed.
“There is someone watching us right now, and I don’t know where they are or what they’re looking for, but I have a feeling that it’s not good. It feels malicious. Dark.” He looked down at me, his green eyes serious. He was in leader mode, watching the house while his pack got ready to head out. My pussy was dripping at the sight, but my chest tightened with dim anticipation. The adrenaline of the risk began pumping through my veins, but this time, I found that it wasn’t as welcome as it was earlier this week.
I had more on the line.
“We don’t know how serious the threat is against you. I’m not willing to take risks; we make this quick, and then we get back here. We will take turns watching the penthouse, one of us alert at all times.” He put a hand on my shoulder, spun me around, and used his foot to kick me lightly in the ass. “Get your fucking coffee and let’s go, Annalise, I want this over with.”