by Ian Todd
“Why no jist hop oan a bus or a train?” he asked, knowing full well that she’d awready attempted that a few times before.
“My father keeps having me sent back, every time I make an attempt to leave.”
“And why dae ye think somewan like me kin help ye, when others hiv failed?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps if you could drive me to Inverness early in the morning, before anyone was up or knew I was gone, it would allow me an opportunity to get on a train.”
“The problem wae that is they’d work oot the train or bus timetables and jist phone aheid. Before ye knew it, ye’d be back up here, tucking intae aw that salmon and caviar again.”
“We don’t eat caviar…my father doesn’t like the taste,” she said, wae a smile.
“It’s funny ye should mention me driving ye though.”
“You can drive? For some reason, I knew you would have learned.”
“Whit’s that supposed tae mean?”
“Oh, nothing. Sorry, I wasn’t being presumptuous. I just get the impression that something as normal as driving a car wouldn’t be much of a problem to you, despite your age.”
“Aye, Ah learned a few years ago fae a guy called Alex the Humph. He wis the resident Toonheid instructor fur aw us wee scallywags, wance we’d made it oot ae short troosers.”
“So, will you help me? I would make it well worth your while?”
Silence.
“Aye and naw.”
“What’s that supposed to mean,” she asked, stoapping and turning tae face him.
“It aw depends.”
“On what?”
“Well, Ah don’t usually get masel involved in risky situations, unless Ah know that Ah’m gonnae succeed and your idea ae me drapping ye aff at the train station is a total non-starter. Even if ye dae manage tae get doon tae England, Ah’d probably end up in the jail…or worse.”
“I see,” she whispered, clearly disappointed.
“And then Ah’d hiv tae ask masel, why wid an eejit like masel want tae help somewan like you. Ah mean, Ah’ve hid nothing bit grief fae that da ae yours and his gofers since Ah’ve arrived in the strath. And, as Ah said tae ye the other night there, whit wid your reaction hiv been if Ah’d come tae you and asked ye something similar?”
“So, why have you asked to speak to me then? Is it something to do with Mr MacKay? Morven said he’d been hurt. I’m sorry. I hope he’ll be alright, though I can’t speak for the actions of my father or the people he employs,” she said bitterly.
“Oh, Ah never said Ah widnae help ye. It’s jist that Ah hiv tae take ma situation intae consideration, as well as yours. Ah kin guarantee tae get ye oan yer way doon tae England-shire…nae problem…bit the thing is, it wid hiv tae be ma way…plus Ah’d want a wee favour in return.”
“Which is?” she asked suspiciously, hinging back and covering her nice pair ae paps wae her erm as they walked under the overhinging branches ae a large fir tree.
“Oh, don’t worry, Ah’m no efter that posh body ae yours, nice though it looks. Naw, Ah’d need a shot ae wan ae yer auld man’s big Landys.”
“Landy? What’s a Landy?”
“The only problem is, Ah’d need it fur a few days, bit if Ah’m caught wae it, Ah’ll get done fur stealing it and that will definitely get me slung in the jail,” he continued, ignoring her question.
“So, where do I come in?”
“Well, tae put it as simply as Ah kin…Ah need tae tow a boat doon tae a place called Loch Fyne, which is somewhere doon south fae here. Ah’d need ye tae come alang wae me so that if Ah goat stoapped, Ah could claim that you wur driving and that you wur the wan that wis gieing me a lift wae that wee boat ae mine.”
“But, I can’t drive.”
“So? By the time Ah’d stoap, you’d be sitting, anchored in the driver’s seat.”
“Why would I agree to do something like this for you?”
“If ye’re serious aboot heiding doon tae yer granny’s castle, or whitever it is that she lives in, ye’ve mair chance ae succeeding if ye dae it my way. It’ll gie ye a few days grace…tae allow the dust tae settle efter they notice ye’re offskie and before ye hit a railway station. It wid also gie me some protection because Ah don’t think it wid take them long tae suss oot that it’s mair than jist rabbits that Ah’ve blagged aff the estate,” he replied, a wee smile oan that kisser ae his.
Silence.
“I don’t know,” she said doubtfully.
“Ach, well, it wis only a thought.”
“Explain it to me again,” she said, sitting doon, wae her back against a tree.
Paul joined her and went through the scenario again, filling in as many gaps as he felt he’d missed the first time roond. Saba wid get a haud ae the keys fur wan ae the estate Landys. He’d meet her in the castle grounds in the middle ae the night and he’d roll wan ae the Landys doon the drive, then start up the engine wance they reached the castle gates. The baith ae them wid heid back tae Wester Achnahanat and hook up the boat and then heid south, avoiding the main roads. They’d need a map. Efter they goat tae Loch Fyne and sold the boat, they’d dump the Landy. Saba could then get a train fae there and Paul wid heid back up the road. If asked where he’d been, he’d say that he’d been away, looking fur work and that he hidnae seen her. And last, bit nae least, Innes wid get his fine paid, which, efter aw, wis her da’s fault in the first place fur being such a greedy basturt and nae sharing aw they deer and salmon that he hid plenty ae wae his tenants.
Silence.
“Where would we sleep?” she finally asked, efter thinking fur a minute and ignoring his jibe.
“It wid only be fur a few nights. We could kip in the Landy. We kin take breid and cheese wae us. Ye hivnae tasted cheese till ye’ve tasted Whitey’s,” he replied, watching her face and trying no tae laugh at the confusion oan display.
Silence.
“And Mr and Mrs Mackay…they’ve agreed to all this?”
“Well, no exactly. Ah hivnae spoken tae them yet as Ah wanted tae suss oot whether ye’d be intae it. Ah widnae worry aboot them. That’s ma job. The main thing is, Ah’d need ye tae be wae me tae save me fae ending up in the clink if we goat nabbed.”
“So…I would be a hostage to fortune then? Just there to save your skin?” she asked accusingly, clearly furgetting who wis daeing who the favours aboot there.
“Er, aye…Ah couldnae hiv put it better masel,” Paul replied, turning tae face her, laughing and getting a chortle back in response.
“I don’t know,” she murmured doubtfully, looking intae his eyes.
“Oh well, as Ah’ve awready said, it wis jist a thought.”
“Where’s Loch Fyne?”
“Ah don’t know. We’d need tae hiv a look at a map.”
“Oh, I forgot. See if this will do. It’s the only one that I could lay my hands on at short notice,” Saba said, lifting the strap ae her bag o’er her heid and gieing him a wee swatch ae the belly-button oan that flat, white tummy ae hers, before taking oot a folded sheet ae paper.
“Right, let’s hiv a wee gander then,” Paul said, opening up the map and spreading it oot oan the grass between them.
“If it’s a lake, it shouldn’t be that difficult to spot,” she said, bending o’er and joining him.
They spent aboot five minutes trying tae find it.
“Are you sure it’s called Loch Fyne?” she asked, looking across at him, sweeping her long red hair away, before gaun back tae search wae that finger ae hers.
“Aye, so Innes said.”
“Here it is...Loch Fyne,” she hauf whooped, stabbing her finger oan tae it.
“So it is. Nae wonder we couldnae find it…its name is printed in a bloody curve, in amongst heaps ae other lochs.”
“It’s a long way,” she said, retracing the distance back tae Culrain wae her eyes, before looking at him.
“Aye, it is. Whit we’d need tae dae is take the roads roond the coast. The bizzies wid be looking fur ye oan the ma
in roads south. It’ll take us longer, bit that’s the way tae dae it.”
“When were you thinking of leaving?” Saba asked.
“As soon as possible…preferably this weekend. Ah wis thinking ae Sunday night.”
“Why Sunday?”
“Because Ah cannae get up tae no good before then.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s complicated…that’s why. Ah’d leave it at that, so Ah wid,” he said tae her.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“Aye, well.”
“Sunday would be good for me. In fact, the timing is perfect.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s my birthday on Monday and my father is planning one of his unsurprising special treats,” she replied sarcastically.
“Ah don’t mind leaving it till Tuesday, if ye’d prefer. Think ae aw they lovely expensive presents fae aw yer rich relatives.”
“No, Sunday would be perfect for me.”
“So, ye’ll dae it then?”
“I don’t know. I would need to think about it.”
“Well, this is Wednesday, so we’ve only goat a few days. We don’t hiv much time. Meet me here the morra night at seven. If ye’re intae it, let me know. If ye’re no, then there’s nae herm done.”
“What about Morven?”
“Whit aboot her?”
“Well, are you going to tell her what you’re planning?”
“Right, ye better listen up, because this is really important. The less Morven knows, the better. Wance people suss oot that ye’ve disappeared and they put two and two thegither and make a connection between your disappearance and mine, she’ll be grilled oan whit she knows. Don’t put her in a situation where she kin be caught oot lying because she feels loyalty tae somewan like yersel. Whit she disnae know, she cannae tell. Dis that make sense?”
“I suppose so.”
“Naw, this is really important. Don’t suppose anything. Ah know whit Ah’m talking aboot. If ye agree tae dae this, ye’ll hiv tae dae it ma way or nae way.”
Chapter Thirty Two
“Kin Ah go up, Whitey?” Paul asked, as Whitey returned wae an empty bowl, limping due tae Wan-eye’s rusty nail.
“Yes, but I would watch out…he’s grumpy. He was very restless through the night again.”
“Aye, aye, Innes. How’s that sore arse ae yers getting oan then?” he asked, dipping his heid as he entered the room.
“Sore.”
“Is there anything Ah kin get ye?”
“No, I’m fine, laddie. I still can’t believe how stupid I was with that second poachers’ retreat. It just shows you…you can’t let your guard down. You should always expect the unexpected.”
“Tell me,” Paul replied wae a sardonic smile.
“Okay, what’s up? You’ve got something on your mind. Don’t worry about Whitey and myself, laddie…I’ll be back on my feet in a day or two. Your family will want to see you and it’s important for you to get home and get a real job.”
“Innes, that’s no whit’s bothering me, although it is, if ye know whit Ah mean? Ah’m no worried aboot seeing ma family…Ah hivnae seen them fur years. Ah’m worried aboot yersels though,” Paul said, sitting oan the chair, still feeling the warmth fae Whitey’s arse.
“We’ll be fine. There’s been a lot worse things have happened to us, I can tell you. Isn’t that right, Tim?” Innes said, scratching the dug’s lug.
“Ah’ve come up wae a wee plan.”
“Oh, aye?” Innes said, raising his right eyebrow wae interest.
“Well, it’s mair than a plan. Ah’ve come up wae a good way tae help you and Whitey oot. It wid make me feel better aboot heiding back tae Glesga…knowing that everything hid worked oot fine and dandy aboot here.”
“Aye?”
“It wid also put wan o’er oan they Sellar pricks and The Duke as well, probably.”
“Aye?”
“Bit, of course, ye’d need tae agree tae it.”
“Aye?” Innes repeated, as Paul burst oot laughing.
“It’s a funny plan, is it?” Innes smiled.
“It could be if ye stoap saying, ‘Aye’ tae everything Ah say.”
“Well, spit it out then. Don’t keep me and Tim waiting. The suspense is making my wounds itch.”
“How serious wur ye aboot letting yer boat go tae whit’s his name?”
“Campbell…Robert Campbell, from Inveraray, on the banks of Loch Fyne? A real gentlemen and knows his boats as well. Why?”
“Ah know how tae get it doon tae him. Ah’ve managed tae get a shot ae a Landy tae tow it.”
“Really? And who would that Landy belong to then?”
“Aye, well...ye see...ye’ve goat tae think oot ae the box a wee bit and accept that sometimes ye hiv tae use yer imagination…if ye know whit Ah mean?”
“Paul, you’re skirting about in circles. Spit it out…from the beginning.”
“Right, before Ah start, jist tae let ye know Ah hivnae spoken wae or even mentioned this tae Whitey, so if it’s a non-starter, we’ll keep it between oorsels? Is that okay?”
“Fine.”
“Right, here ye go. Feel free tae butt in, bit hear me oot before ye get yer Long Johns in a twist.”
“Paul, get on with it,” Innes said, reaching o’er fur his auld clay pipe.
Paul explained his thoughts. He telt Innes aboot how The Gardener’s Daughter wanted away fae the strath, how she’d hid the cheek tae approach him first and no the other way aboot…no forgetting tae let Innes know that he’d knocked her back tae start wae. He knew the shit wid hit the fan tae start wae, bit as far as Innes and Whitey wur concerned, he wid be away, looking fur work. He explained how he’d studied the map The Gardener’s Daughter hid gied him, that if they stuck tae the coast roads and took their time, the dust wid soon settle, gieing her a chance tae reach her granny’s and how he’d lie low in Glesga fur a few days before coming back tae the croft wae the proceeds fae selling the boat.
Silence.
“Well, say something then,” Paul eventually said, haudin his breath.
“Right, that sounds fine, but where does the transport for towing the boat come in?” Innes asked, as he disappeared in a cloud ae blue pipe smoke and took a wee sip ae his medicinal dram fae doon the side ae the bed, which he thought he’d managed tae keep hidden fae Whitey.
“Ah’ll take wan ae the estate Landys…preferably George Sellar’s,” Paul replied, as a fine spray mist ae good single malt came flying oot ae Innes’s mooth in a wet cloud, covering Tim in fine wet droplets.
“Ah kin see why ye might be a wee bit surprised at that, Innes, bit jist think ae the expression oan they basturts’ coupons when they get up and oot in the morning tae discover wan ae their nice, fancy wee Landys his gone AWOL, eh?” Paul laughed, as Wan-eye arrived oan the scene and jumped up oan the bed and Tim’s tail started thumping oan the mattress.
“Right, you’ve sold the boat,” Innes said. “The Duke’s only daughter manages to get on the train. What happens to the Landy?”
“Ah dump it in Inveraray and when The Gardener’s Daughter arrives at her granny’s she explains that that’s where she abandoned it. The Inveraray polis will recover it quickly enough and get it sent back up here, unless wan ae they thieving basturts decide tae hing oan tae it fur themsels, which Ah widnae put past them.”
“Can she drive?”
“Ah don’t know. That isnae the point though, is it? She won’t be behind the wheel unless we get stoapped…Ah will. Whit we need tae dae is get that boat doon tae yer best pal, who, according tae you, is a right gentlemen, who’s goat five hunner nicker burning a hole in that back pocket ae his, get the dosh back up here so ye kin pay aff yer fine...plus...and remember this...hiv a wee bit in yer back pocket fur a rainy day.”
“Och, I don’t know, laddie,” Innes said, doubtfully. “Will you be insured when you’re behind the wheel?”
“Christ, Innes, Ah don’t want tae be cheeky, b
it who cares? Ah won’t be near any main roads.”
“I didn’t know you could drive?”
“Innes, how auld wur ye when ye first drove yer auld man’s tractor or car?”
“Twelve, I suppose.”
“So, there ye go then.”
“Och, I would need to speak to Whitey.”
“Why?”
“That’s what people do when they’re married. They share problems with each other.”
“See, that’s where we’re different. Ah don’t see any problems here…at least, nothing that cannae be sorted oot wae a wee bit ae thought and careful planning.”
“Och, I would need to give this a lot of careful thought, laddie. Ah wouldn’t want you to get into trouble over something that’s nothing to do with you.”
“Innes, take as long as ye want, as long as Ah know by…whit time is it?”
“Five past four.”
“By six o’clock at the latest. And another thing, feel free tae explain tae Whitey, bit keep the details tae yersel aboot the route. Whit she disnae know, she cannae worry aboot…plus, if she’s asked any questions later, she cannae be accused ae lying.”
Chapter Thirty Three
“So, what does it involve then?” Morven asked Saba, surprise in her voice at Paul’s aboot-turn.
“Morven, I’ve just told you. He’s agreed to give me a lift.”
“Yes, I gathered that the first time you told me, Saba, but what does giving you a lift actually entail?”
“We agreed that he would drop me off at a train station.”
“What train station? Inverness?”
“We, er, also agreed that I shouldn’t discuss the details with anyone…including you,” Saba said, avoiding eye contact and feeling awkward.
“You agreed what?”
“He said that it would be better if you didn’t know the details, in case you were questioned. He didn’t want you to be put in an awkward situation where you had to lie on my behalf.”
“Oh, did he? And you agreed with him?”
“What he said made sense,” Saba replied defensively.
“Oh, come off it, Saba. You’re not actually going along with that, are you?”
“I haven’t made up my mind. I never committed myself. I wanted to hear what he had to say.”