"Now, that I don't believe," she said firmly. "I've spent a week with Lily and Rose, and they love you and trust you, even if they can't say it."
"I want to believe you, but people keep leaving me, dammit. First my mother, then Angela, the girls ..."
"Shhh." She put a finger over his lips. "The girls haven't left you."
"You're leaving, too, as soon as we find the girls." His eyes dared her to refute his statement.
The pain in his eyes bothered her. None of this was his fault. "You didn't do anything wrong, Michael, but you're a De Luca."
"My name is Ashton."
"But your heart is De Luca. You love Sophia. And you loved Angela."
"That doesn't mean I can't love you, too." He drew in a breath. "But we'll talk about this later -- after we find Lily and Rose. Because I'm not going to just let you go, Joanna."
They returned to the car and drove across town to the Seacliff house. It was also empty. She was somewhat relieved the kids weren't there. She couldn't imagine how they would have gotten so far on foot. They checked in with Caroline several times during the day, then proceeded to double-check the playgrounds and the neighboring houses, occasionally running into various members of the De Luca family as they did so. Michael checked in with the police several times, but Lily and Rose were still nowhere to be found.
It was past six o'clock when they returned to De Luca's. The restaurant was open for business, so Michael and Joanna bypassed the main dining room and headed toward the back room where the family was gathered.
Sophia came over immediately, her dark eyes worried. "Did you find them?"
"No," Michael replied through tight, tense lips. "Excuse me, I have to speak to Vincent for a moment."
Sophia glanced at Joanna. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"
Joanna shook her head. She still found it hard to look Sophia in the eye. It was difficult to believe this woman had given birth to her, this woman with dark eyes, dark hair, and olive skin. She seemed like a stranger, yet she didn't.
"Are you all right?" Sophia asked.
"I have no idea." Joanna folded her arms across her chest, feeling defensive. "So much has happened so fast."
"Did you speak to your -- your mother?" Sophia seemed to have a hard time getting the word out.
"Yes." Joanna paused, knowing she had to ask Sophia one last question. "You had an affair with my father, didn't you?"
Sophia sucked in a quick breath of air at her abrupt question. "Who told you that?"
"It wasn't difficult to figure out."
"I cared about your father, Joanna. We were friends. We would see each other when he came to the city on business. One night we made a huge mistake."
"Great, I was a mistake," she said bitterly.
"Not you. Our act was a mistake. We were married to other people. We didn't have the right to be together. We both knew it. It was one impulsive moment borne out of loneliness."
"That was it? One night?"
"Yes. I didn't see him again for almost a month and then I had to tell him that I was pregnant."
"That must have been quite a shock."
"It was. You see I knew how long he and his wife had been trying to have a baby. It was the only part of the decision that made sense to me. I knew he would take care of you, love you. He did love you, didn't he?"
Tears gathered in Joanna's eyes, but she blinked them away. "Yes, very much, and my mother did, too. But that doesn't excuse you for giving me up, or them for the lies they told."
"No, of course it doesn't." Sophia's eyes filled with a sad longing. "But I'm glad you were raised by good people and that they treated you well. You're a beautiful young woman, Joanna. You would make any mother proud to have you as a daughter."
Joanna turned away. She couldn't take any more, not now. It was too soon. She walked over to the bar and poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher. As she took a sip she saw Sophia go over to Michael. They exchanged a few words, then Sophia hugged him as a mother would hug a son. It was easy to see the love between the De Lucas and Michael. How could she take Michael away from this family? He needed them.
Michael walked over to her. "I'm going back out."
"We've been everywhere."
"I know, but I can't stay here. I'll just drive up and down the streets until I find them."
Before he could move, Tony walked through the door, his face grim, his eyes bleak. In his hand was a bear.
"Oh, no," Joanna whispered. "Peter Panda Bear."
Michael grabbed it out of Tony's hand. "Where did you get this?"
"I found it on the grass in the middle of the Marina Greens."
"Rose wouldn't have left her bear behind." Michael twisted the fur between his fingers. "Something's happened to them." His eyes filled with fear as he looked at Joanna. "I can't lose my kids. God help me, I can't lose them."
"At least we know they were down by the marina," Joanna said. "Why would they go there? Did Angela take them to see the boats?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"She was on a boat when she died. Would she have taken them to that boat?"
"She could have. I don't know," he shouted. "I never knew what the hell she did."
"Marco Picchetti," Tony interrupted. "Angela mentioned Marco had a new boat. That she'd taken the girls to see it."
"Does this Marco have a black mustache?" Joanna asked, remembering the girls' story.
"Yeah, he does." "He was at her funeral," Michael said. "Do you know where his boat is, Tony?"
"If it's anywhere in this city, I can find it."
* * *
"I'm scared. I want Peter Panda Bear. I want Daddy. I want Joanna." Rose sobbed as Lily dragged her along the dock.
"We're trying to find them," Lily said.
"We're never going to find them. We're never going to see them again." She stopped walking and stomped her foot. "I want to go home now."
"We can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know how to get home," Lily admitted.
"I knew it. We're lost, and it's getting dark. I don't like it when it's dark."
"I'll hold your hand. It will be okay."
"Mama's dead," she said.
Lily's eyes widened. "Don't say that."
"It's true. She's dead, and she's in heaven, and she's never coming back."
"But she promised."
"I want Daddy. I want to talk to him."
"You can't."
"Yes, I can!" Rose cried. "She's not coming back, Lily. Even if we tell Daddy about the man with the mustache, it won't matter."
"She promised," Lily repeated, starting to cry. "She promised."
Rose put her arms around her sister and hugged her. This time she had to be the big sister, the strong one. "It will be okay, Lily, Joanna will find us. Mariah said so."
* * *
"We've been to every boat on every dock. Where the hell are they?" Michael asked, completely at his wits' end.
"Come on, man. Don't lose faith now," Tony said.
"Faith?" Michael laughed harshly. "Faith in what? Happy endings? I haven't had one yet."
Joanna slid her arms around Michael's waist and pulled him close to her. He buried his face in her hair, and she could hear his ragged gasps for air. She didn't say a word. She just let her quiet calm soothe away his fears.
When she stepped back, she saw Tony watching them. His face was a mixture of emotions -- sadness, bewilderment, and acceptance.
"You're not her at all," he muttered. "You're not even close."
Joanna didn't know if that was good or bad, but it didn't matter anymore. She couldn't change who she was. They would just have to get used to her.
"Let's go back to the house," Joanna suggested.
"Your mother would have called if they'd come back."
"Maybe there's some clue we missed," she said desperately.
"Fine, it's worth a try," he grumbled.
When they returned to the hous
e, Caroline met them in the entryway, her eyes anxious, as if she really cared, Joanna thought. Maybe she did care. Caroline loved children, even those that weren't hers. Joanna's stomach clenched at the reminder.
"They're not here?" Joanna asked.
"No," she said. "I was hoping you'd found them."
Joanna glanced at Michael and Tony, who were staring at the picture over the fireplace, a portrait of the twins taken when they were three years old. They were dressed in matching pink frilly dresses with pink bows in their hair. Lily had her arms around Rose, her expression a picture of pure delight. Rose looked into the camera warily, as if she were afraid it might reach out and grab her.
"They're so little," Michael said softly.
"They're tough," Tony replied.
Joanna went to stand next to them. She laced her fingers through Michael's. "They're also together. That has to be worth something. Let's go through their room."
A few minutes later, Michael said, "There's nothing here," as he slammed the last drawer shut.
Joanna stared at the crystal ball on the nightstand. It glittered in the light, calling her closer. She couldn't help but respond. The wizard inside was beautiful, dazzling. She looked almost real. Joanna felt her heart skip a beat. Mariah, Magic. Was it possible?
"How does this work?" Joanna asked Michael.
"What?"
"The wizard."
"I don't know. I don't have time to figure it out."
"Michael, we have to try."
He stared at her incredulously. "You think that wizard will tell you where the girls are? It's a toy."
"The girls believe in her. They told me she sent them to me."
"I sent them to you. I picked up the phone and called the school."
"But how did you come to call that school on that day?"
"There was a list on the table. The nanny left me a list." He thought back to the fire, to the paper, to the beer that had spilled across it. Was it possible? No. He didn't believe in magic, but he couldn't help looking at Mariah.
"Oh, what the hell," he said, striding forward. He picked up the ball. "Do you know where Lily and Rose are, Mariah? Can you help us find them?"
Nothing happened.
He ran his hand across the top of the globe. A light flashed in his eye.
"Where the saints meet the sea, the girls will find thee," Mariah said, "Don't be rash and leave too fast; it's best to check everywhere, even the trash."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Tony spoke from the doorway. "The St. Francis Yacht Club."
Michael looked at Joanna. "I can't believe I'm listening to a toy wizard. I don't believe in this stuff."
"You used to," Tony said. "Remember that fortune-teller at the fair?"
"Her fortunes never came true,"
Joanna smiled at Michael, at the emotions warring on his face. "Sometimes you have to believe in the impossible," she said. "No matter what the odds."
His eyes met hers, and slowly he nodded.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Rose and Lily ran toward the large white building as the footsteps grew closer, as the sound echoed in the night. Lily stumbled, and the backpack flew out of her hand as she fell to her knees. She let out a cry of distress. Rose helped Lily to her feet as the big man came around the corner of the dock.
"He's coming." She grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her along.
"Wait, I have to get the backpack."
"We don't have time."
The man started to whistle, and Rose ran faster, pulling Lily along beside her. His shadow reached out for them like the shadows on their bedroom ceiling. They raced toward the big building in front of them, but the lights were off and the doors were locked. They ran around the side of the building, looking for a place to hide. There was a blue trash bin at the far end. It was the only thing between them and the water.
"Let's hide behind that." Lily grabbed Rose's hand and pulled her behind the Dumpster. There wasn't much room, just enough for two tiny bodies to squeeze in. They backed up against the far wall and held each other tight.
Rose heard the footsteps coming closer, the whistle getting louder. He was coming after them, the big man, the stranger. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that Mama or Daddy or Joanna would come and save them.
Lily's head pressed against hers, and Rose felt Lily's body shake with fear. Her sister -- her brave sister was scared, too. The footsteps stopped in front of the trash. Something was wrong, He was supposed to keep walking. He wasn't supposed to find them.
Rose took in a trembling breath as she felt the Dumpster rock and shake above them. For a moment she thought he was pushing it against the wall, trying to squish them. Then she realized he was throwing something into the trash.
He began to whistle again. His footsteps started out loud, then grew faint as he walked away. He hadn't been chasing them after all.
Rose let out a breath. Lily lifted her head. They stared at each other for a long moment.
"He's gone," Lily said.
She nodded somewhat shakily. "Let's stay here until it's morning. I don't want to go out there again. It's too scary."
"Okay." Lily leaned against the wall. "I'm hungry"
She shivered as a breeze blew through the space between the Dumpster and the wall."Do you think Daddy made Joanna go away?" she asked after a moment.
"It was just like when Mama left. They shouted at each other, and she started to cry. Remember?"
"Yes," Rose said slowly. "Then Daddy went out and Mama went upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom."
"When she came out she was all dressed up."
"Like she was going to a party."
"She looked as pretty as Joanna did last night."
Rose struggled to remember what Joanna was wearing the night before. It was a really pretty black dress. Her mother had worn something blue, or was it purple? She couldn't remember and started to panic. "I don't remember, Lily. What was the color of Mama's dress?"
"Pink." Lily tilted her head. "Maybe it was red."
"Sometimes I can't remember what Mama looks like anymore, I mean, she looked like Joanna, didn't she?" A long silence fell between them. Rose laced her fingers together. "Lily?"
"What?"
"I want to break our promise."
"You can't." But Lily didn't sound as sure as she had before.
"I don't miss Mama anymore," she confessed, feeling better once she said it. She took in a deep breath. "I miss Daddy. I miss talking to him."
Lily swallowed hard. "Me, too."
"Do you think he still loves us?"
"He has to; he's our daddy."
"Do you think he'll find us?"
"Yes."
"He was sad last night," Rose said. "I think he was sorry Joanna cried. I wish Joanna could be our mama."
"Me, too," Lily whispered.
* * *
As soon as Michael pulled his car into a parking space at the St. Francis Yacht Club, Tony and Joanna jumped out. The three of them ran along the fence by the boats, calling out for Lily and Rose.
"They're not here," Michael said.
"They have to be. We've looked everywhere else in this city," Joanna said.
Tony stared at the water. "It's like the last time. We kept looking for Angela, but she never came up."
Michael grabbed Tony by the arms and shook him. "The girls are not dead. They're not."
"I know. I know," Tony said, shrugging out of Michael's tight grip. "You're right. It's not the same."
"Let's check out the building," Joanna said. "Maybe they went inside to find someone to help them."
But the building was closed. The doors were locked. The lights were off. Michael pounded on the door anyway.
Joanna didn't try to stop him. He needed to let out his anger and frustration. The long day had taken its toll. She could see it in the weary lines of his face, the droop of his shoulders. His confidence and courage had dwindled down to nothing.
"If something happens to them, it will be my fault," he said heavily. "I should have let someone else take them after Angela died. That's what one of the doctors suggested. They could have had a woman's influence, a stable family life."
"Michael, you're a great father," she said.
"The best," Tony added.
"Where could they be? It's as if they vanished."
"They're midgets. It's easy for them to hide."
Midgets. Joanna smiled as Tony tried to lighten the mood. She liked this guy, her half brother. He wasn't like the other De Lucas, so serious and proud. He had a spark, a humor, a passion. She could see why he and Michael were friends, and if Angela had been anything like Tony, perhaps she could understand the draw there, too.
She turned away from the men and wandered down the driveway that led around to the back of the club. She tripped over something at her feet -- a forest green mini backpack, the kind the girls used. She picked it up and ran back to the men. "They were here."
Michael took the backpack out of her hand and pressed it to his chest, right next to Peter Panda Bear. Joanna's heart broke at the sight of his children's things in his arms, when all he really wanted was his children.
"They must be close," Tony said. "What exactly did that wizard tell you to do?"
"I don't remember," Michael said. "Something about the saints and the sea. I don't know."
"Don't be rash. Don't leave without looking in the trash," Joanna said.
"Where would they keep the trash?" Michael asked.
"A dumpster," Tony said.
"Behind the building, maybe," Joanna added.
Michael took off at a dead run, Tony following. Joanna ran after them, hoping beyond hope that the girls were close by. She didn't think Michael could take having his hopes dashed one more time.
There was a large dumpster behind the back door of the club. They stopped in front of it.
"Lily, Rose!" Michael called. "Where are you?"
Joanna's heart turned over as two small figures flew out from behind the dumpster. Their shorts were dirty, their tennis shoes scuffed, their hair tangly messes, but they were the prettiest sight she'd seen in a long time.
Michael fell to his knees, opening his arms to the girls.
Ask Mariah Page 29