Eve doubled over in hysterics. “You looked at his package? Madeline Kimble, you’re going to hell!”
Maddy began laughing so hard that she tripped and fell, dragging Eve with her. “Save the bottle!” she shouted.
“I got it!” Eve yelped, falling on top of Maddy as she juggled the bottle, her shopping bag, and her own purse. They sat there leaning against each other, their laughter turning to giggles until they simply fell silent.
“Kenzie scares the bejeezus out of me,” Maddy whispered. “He’d swallow me up.” She slung her arm over Eve’s shoulder. “But you could hold your own against him. In school, you had all the boys in a frenzy trying to figure you out. You could have had your choice of boyfriends, and you didn’t pick any of them because you were holding out for a prince.”
Eve snorted. “Some prince Parker turned out to be.”
Maddy waved that away. “Parker doesn’t count. I know you kissed a lot of frogs in college but never found your prince, so you settled for Parker because he offered you a way out of Midnight Bay. Tell me honest, did you even love him?”
“I thought I did.”
“You know what I think? I think you got snookered by his good looks and his from-away appeal. Everyone from away seems mysterious and exciting to us.”
“Kenzie Gregor is good-looking and from away,” Eve reminded her. “I don’t want to get snookered again.”
Maddy shook her head. “Kenzie’s different.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about him.”
“I know he likes you, and I’d bet my truck that it’s the real deal.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“Because he’s trying so hard not to like you,” Maddy said with all the authority of a drunken friend.
“Asking me out doesn’t sound like he’s not trying.”
“I didn’t say he was winning the battle. Apparently he’s got more testas…trone than…than…”
“Brains?” Eve finished for her.
“Getting you to go on a date with him took major brains.” Maddy suddenly sat up straight. “Hey, do you think our moose had a couple of flashlights tied to its antlers, or is that a truck coming toward us?”
Kenzie drove slowly down the dark winding road, scanning the ditches for Maddy’s truck. According to the directions William had given him, he should have come across the women by now, walking home from where they’d gone off the road.
That damned beast; he’d have an easier time keeping a three-year-old contained. Even though William had been hunting in a remote area, he’d still managed to cause trouble. If Eve or Maddy had been hurt in the accident, he was going to run William through with his sword.
Kenzie crested a knoll, and the beam of his headlights landed on the women sitting in the middle of the road. He didn’t grow truly alarmed until he drove nearly up to them and they didn’t even bother to get out of the way. He stopped the truck and shut it off, leaving just the running lights on so he wouldn’t blind them.
“Kenzie, our hero!” Maddy cried, spreading her arms wide. She nudged Eve beside her, nearly knocking Eve over just as she was taking a drink from a bottle. “Is this guy amazing, or what? He keeps showing up right when you need rescuing. Now you definitely gotta screw him, just like in the romance novels. The hero always gets the girl!”
Kenzie stopped dead in his tracks.
Eve spat out whatever she was drinking and glared at her friend. “Will you shut up!” she hissed in a loud whisper. She waved the bottle in his direction. “He heard you, and now it won’t be a surprise when I jump his bones tomorrow night.”
Holy hell, they were falling-down drunk!
Maddy made a pout face. “I’m sorry.” She snatched the bottle from Eve. “Damn, it’s empty. Now what are we gonna do? The flying moose is gonna get us.”
Kenzie had just started toward them, but stopped again.
Flying moose?
Eve started rummaging around in her purse. “We’ll Mace the bastard,” she said, her hand emerging with a tiny canister.
Kenzie immediately stepped forward and snatched it out of Eve’s hand before she could accidently spray herself, and stuffed it in his pocket.
She glared up at him, tilting her head back so far that she toppled into Maddy. “That wasn’t very nice.”
“But necessary,” he said, trying not to laugh. “Would you ladies like a ride home?”
“No, thank you,” Maddy said, smoothing down the front of her jacket. “We’re just out for an evening stroll. Nobody can know I ran my truck off the road, because the shitty thing isn’t inspected or insured.” She suddenly gasped and looked at Eve. “Omigod! We gotta go back and cover it up with branches so nobody will see it.” She tried standing up, attempting to pull Eve with her, and they both fell back onto the road. “Come on! You have to help me because this is all your fault.”
“My fault?” Eve said, rolling to her hands and knees. “How?”
“I had to take you to buy that stupid Wonderbra, that’s how,” Maddy said, also on all fours as she faced Eve. “And you should have done a better job watching for flying moose.”
“You were driving.”
“Hey, Kenzie,” Maddy said, sitting back down so she could look up at him. “You got any spiced rum in your truck? We need it to keep away the flying moose.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t.”
She looked at Eve. “He’s so polite. I don’t think you should wait until tomorrow night. Go on, jump him right now.” She swiped a small bag out of Eve’s hand, pulled out a tiny bit of cloth, and shoved it at her. “Here, put this on first, and maybe he won’t notice you don’t have any boobs.”
Kenzie’s shoulders shook as he fought to contain his laughter. He really should get them out of the road, but God help him, they were so oblivious.
He heard a whisper of sound in the trees and knew that William was also enjoying the entertainment. “Okay, ladies,” Kenzie said, reaching down and scooping Eve up in his arms. “I think it’s time I got you home.”
“Oh! How romantic!” Maddy wailed, clutching the empty bag to her chest. “I swear I’m going to lose forty pounds so that, when my knight finally rides into town, he can carry me off like that. Forget the bra!” she shouted. “He might put an eye out trying to get it off you! Hey! Kenzie!”
He stopped beside the back door to look at Maddy. “What?”
“You make her forget all about Parker the prick head, okay? Wait! Kenzie!”
He sighed. “Yes?”
“Y-you won’t take too long, will you?” she asked, looking around at the woods.
“I’m coming for you next, Maddy.”
Eve gasped and started wiggling to get down. “You sleaze!” she cried, shoving at his chest. “I knew you were too good to be true.”
“What the…Eve, I’m just putting you in the truck, going back for Maddy, and then taking ye both home.” He opened the back door and set her inside. “Stay put,” he said, smiling at the glare she gave him. “I have to go save Maddy from the flying moose.”
Her eyes widened and she nodded violently, her soft curls bouncing around her face. “Yes, go rescue her before it gets her! It had antlers so big we thought they were wings, and its eyes glowed bright red when our headlights hit it. It ate a bear!” She suddenly slapped her finger to her lips. “But we’re not telling anyone. Maddy’s shitty truck isn’t insured, so the sheriff will give her a big fine that she can’t afford, and people will think we’re crazy.”
“Did you start drinking before or after ye saw the flying moose?”
“After!” she snapped. “We don’t drink and drive. We only drink and walk.”
“Kenzie! I heard a noise in the woods! Save me! Save me!”
He leaned down and flipped the child safety latch so Eve couldn’t suddenly decide to get out and save her friend herself, and softly closed the door. He headed back to Maddy, smiling when he saw she was standing—though weaving—the empty bottle raised like a weap
on.
“Are ye afraid of bogeymen, Maddy?”
She turned her dark eyes on him. “Bogeymen?” she squeaked.
“You know—the red-eyed, fire-breathing, foul-smelling beasts who like to scare beautiful young women? All ye have to do if ye see one is blow him a kiss, and he’ll be so smitten, he’ll turn as docile as a lamb.”
The bottle lowered slightly. “That’s it? I just have to blow the bogeyman a kiss?”
He nodded.
“Well, shit,” she said, dropping her arm completely. “I wish I’d known that before we started walking.”
Kenzie swept her up in his arms, smiling when she gasped and clutched his neck in a choke hold. “Go on,” he said. “Blow a kiss in the direction ye heard the noise coming from. If there’s a bogeyman out there and you listen carefully, ye might hear him fall in love with you.”
Maddy frowned. “But I don’t want the bogeyman to love me. I want a knight in shining leather just like you, only not so…intense. And he’s got to be handsome and strong and polite. Oh, and I wouldn’t mind if he was rich, too, because I gotta pay my insurance and get my brakes fixed so I can get my shitty truck inspected so I won’t go to jail.”
“You know what bogeymen really are, Maddy?”
“No. What?”
“They’re most often strong, handsome men who’ve been cursed by a mean old witch, and all they need is to have a beautiful woman rescue them from their nightmare.”
“Really?” she whispered, her eyes widening. She suddenly glared at him fiercely. “Are you funnen me?”
“Nay, Maddy. Bogeymen are really quite tragic creatures. Go on—blow this one a kiss and see if ye get a response.”
She hesitated, then finally set the empty bottle and her purse on her lap against his chest, lifted her hand to her mouth, and blew William a loud noisy kiss. “Mmmwaa!” she said, tossing the kiss toward the woods. “Take that, Mr. Bogeyman!”
“Now listen.”
A deep, lusty groan whispered through the night air.
Maddy squealed, “I heard it! I heard the bogeyman!”
“And now ye need never be afraid of noises in the dark again, Maddy. Ye tamed him with your powerful kiss.”
“My kisses are powerful?” she breathed.
He walked to the driver’s side of his truck. “There’s nothing more powerful in the world than the sweet kiss of a beautiful woman.”
“Eve’s beautiful.”
“Yes, she is. And so are you.”
“I’ll be even prettier when I lose fort—A few pounds.” She suddenly gasped. “You’re carrying me! You’re so strong.”
“So is the bogeyman. And now that you’ve tamed him, he’ll be your slave for life.”
A snort came from the woods, and Maddy snapped her head toward it. “What was that?”
Kenzie opened the back door with his fingers. “Just an owl hooting.”
She tapped him on the shoulder just as he was about to set her inside. “Do you have any brothers?” she asked.
“One. You’ll meet him day after tomorrow. Matt and his wife are coming to visit.”
“Oh. Do you have any single brothers?”
“Sorry.”
“How about sisters?” She blew out a spiced sigh. “I’m getting so desperate, I’m open to just about anything.”
He set her on the backseat next to Eve. “Sorry, you’re out of luck on both counts,” he said with a laugh, flipping the child lock and closing her door.
He walked to where they’d been sitting, picked up Eve’s purse and the empty store bag, then stood facing the forest. “You’ve had enough fun for tonight, William. Go pull Maddy’s truck out of the ditch, fly it to the farm, and leave it behind the barn. But first erase the tracks where it went off the road.”
“That truck has to weigh more than a warhorse.”
“Ye have the strength to handle it. And William? That kiss was for Maddy’s sake, not yours. Ye keep your distance, or I’ll be forced to clip your wings.”
Kenzie went back to his truck, opened his door, and smiled when the interior light came on to reveal the two women sound asleep in the backseat, cuddled against each other, Eve with her bra clutched to her chest, Maddy hugging her purse and the empty bottle.
He climbed in and headed home with his softly snoring cargo, wondering if Eve really had been planning to jump his bones tomorrow night, or if that had been the rum talking.
Not that he could let her. The storm he sensed heading his way could place her in danger, and he’d already proven he was incapable of protecting those he loved.
Chapter Eight
Eve opened her eyes and immediately shut them again when pain shot through her head. She was in her bed, and Maddy was lying beside her. Maddy’s agonized moan told Eve that her friend was also awake.
“Do you know how we got here?” Eve asked softly, in deference to her splitting head.
“I remember something about a moose with wings. And strong arms carrying me. Oh, and I think I kissed the bogeyman,” Maddy whispered. “And now he’s in love with me, and is my slave for life.”
“We really have to find you some new reading material—those paranormal romances are starting to mess with your brain. There’s no such thing as bogeymen, Maddy. They’re fictional monsters parents invented to keep kids in their beds.”
“Kenzie said they’re really handsome men who got cursed by a mean old witch, and that only the kiss of a beautiful woman can save them.”
“He was teasing you because you were so drunk.” Fragmented images of last night suddenly flashed through Eve’s brain. She groaned, grabbed her head at the pain it caused, then groaned again because the act of grabbing her head hurt even worse. “I’m going to strangle you. Now I can’t go on my date with Kenzie tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Because I keep getting a horrifying image of you waving my bra at him.”
“I’m sure the man has seen a bra before.”
“You were screaming at me to have sex with him right there in the road!”
Oh, yelling hurt. Eve rolled onto her side and curled into a ball of agony.
“That’s what you get for drinking an entire fifth of rum,” her mother said, walking into the room.
“Please, Mrs. B, whisper,” Maddy pleaded. “Oh, God, I’m going to be sick.” She bolted off the bed and ran down the hall to the bathroom.
“What time is it?” Eve asked, refusing to open her eyes.
“A quarter to ten.”
“Damn, I’m late opening the store.”
“It’s Saturday. We close at noon, so it’s not worth opening up for only an hour.” Eve heard the curtains being drawn and the room darkened behind her eyelids. She also heard the laughter in her mother’s voice when Mabel said, “You girls sure had one heck of an adventure last night. I can’t say I was real happy to see the shape you were in when Kenzie brought you home, but he assured me you didn’t start drinking until after Maddy’s truck broke down.”
“Come to think of it,” Eve said, slowly opening her eyes. “What was Kenzie doing out on that road last night?”
“Beats me.” Mabel hunched down beside her and tucked a curl behind Eve’s ear. “It’s just lucky for you that he was. You want me to make you girls some dry toast?”
When Eve tried to sit up, her stomach revolted and she immediately lay back on the pillow. “Um, Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Tell me honestly, did I make an ass of myself last night?”
Mabel chuckled. “That depends if an ass wears a blue lace push-up bra like a necklace.”
“Omigod,” Eve groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I can never face Kenzie again.”
“It’s going to be hard to keep house for the man without ever seeing him.”
Eve dropped her hands. “He told you about offering me a job as his housekeeper?”
“He offered it to me, too, since we come as a package.”
“But I can’t accept.
You have no idea of all the crazy things Maddy and I said and did last night.”
“Too late,” Mabel chirped, heading toward the hall. “I accepted for us.” She stopped at the door. “It’s a perfect solution for us, Eve. We get to live here absolutely free, and he’s going to buy all the food.”
“I intended to look for a teaching position for this fall, and tutor kids this summer.”
“But you can’t teach school; you have to babysit me.”
“Oh, so it’s okay for me to watch you every minute if it suits your purpose?” Eve drawled.
“Who knows how bad I’ll be by this fall?” Mabel said, adjusting one of the knitting needles in her hair.
Eve narrowed her eyes at her mother. “What a convenient illness you have.”
“Are you accusing me of faking it?”
“No. I saw the CAT scan and talked to the doctors. I’m only accusing you of playing it up when it’s to your advantage, and sending me on a guilt trip when it’s not.”
“I guess that must be one of the symptoms,” Mabel said airily, disappearing down the hall.
Eve had managed to avoid Kenzie all day by taking a really long bath and then hiding in her room. But her mother and Maddy had joined ranks and were forcing her to go—on pain of never being talked to again—on her date.
“I feel like a sacrificial virgin, being dressed for a night with a sultan,” she complained.
Maddy snorted. “That cow left the barn years ago.”
Eve tried shoving her boobs deeper into her push-up bra, and frowned when they popped right back up. She unsnapped the front closure on the bra and took it off. “I am not wearing this damn thing,” she said, heading for her bureau. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into buying it. My boobs are just fine the way God made them.”
Maddy beat her to the bureau, dangling the cobalt blue Wonderbra in her hand. “You are, too, because you spent your last dime on it and because it makes you look irresistibly yummy. Don’t force me to go get your mother.”
“Why are you two so determined that I like Kenzie Gregor?” Eve asked with a glower, slipping the bra back on.
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