Still, I can’t help but wonder, Is he getting tired of me? Is this the reason why he didn’t want to commit, because he knew that this day would come? I clear my throat and try to ignore my quickened pulse and the feeling of dread washing over me.
It makes sense. Now that Logan’s had his fill, maybe he was ready to move on. The idea frightens me more than I’d like to admit.
Logan dampens my worry with a soft kiss on the lips, but his demeanor remains solemn, almost sullen. “Thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
As excited as I was to walk into Logan’s office, I’m starting to feel tense. This muted welcome is worrying. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”
“I have absolutely no problem with that.” He pauses and looks at me, noting my subdued mood. “You sure you're going to be alright having lunch by yourself?”
I flash a weak smile. Something is definitely off with Logan, and I don’t know what it is. “Yeah. Actually, Eva’s probably looking for company, so I’ll just hit her up.” I need to talk to Eva anyway, I’ve been putting her off since getting closer to Logan and we have a project we’re working on. I take out my phone and send her a quick text.
Me: Hey chica, lunch?
I look up to talk to Logan, but he moves around to his desk and shakes his mouse to look at the computer screen. My phone pings.
Eva: Yup, where at?
Me: At the Blue Cafe on the corner.
Eva: See ya there.
I put my phone away. “I’m gonna meet her at the Blue Cafe.”
Logan relaxes. “Good. Do you want to use my limo?”
I shake my head, though I’m pleased by the offer. It’ll raise Eva’s eyebrows if I showed up in a limo to a cafe that was just two blocks from the building. She probably already knows what’s going on. I get the sense that a lot of people do. Still, Iately I’m feeling different about keeping my relationship with Logan a secret. If it weren’t for his reluctance to have a real relationship, I’d want the world to know.
But the way he’s acting now has me wondering.
“No, I’ll walk.” I step forward and give him a quick peck. “Thanks for offering though.”
“And thank you for being so understanding,” Logan says before picking up his phone and taking it off of hold. “Are you there? …Alright.” Logan gives me a distracted wave as I leave, and I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong as I walk out of his office.
Outside it feels good, a cool breeze sweeping up the street. The sky is clear, and the deep blue color would take my breath away if I wasn’t in such a sour mood.
If this is the beginning of the end, then it will be no less than I deserve. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.
I make it halfway down the block, lost in my thoughts and hardly watching where I’m going, when I feel a prickling sensation on my neck. Someone’s watching me. I turn around, scanning behind me. There are a couple of people walking on either side of the street, entering businesses, and cars driving by, but no one stands out.
For a minute, I continue to scan, my eyes darting everywhere, but I eventually give up.
After a moment, I turn and continue on, thinking, Relax, Charlotte. You’re just being paranoid.
* * *
“Did you see what happened with that celebrity guy in the news?” Eva asks me as she takes a bite out of her blueberry bagel that’s covered with cream cheese. We’re sitting in the Blue Cafe in the corner. It’s secluded and private which is nice. It’s been awhile since I’ve eaten in a place that has a dollar menu, but I’m happy to see Eva and catch up on corporate gossip and talk about the project we’re working on together.
As usual, Eva’s dressed sharp as a tack in a red pantsuit and matching lipstick, her hair pulled back into an elegant ponytail. I need her to be my stylist.
I pause, peeling the plastic wrap from around my banana nut muffin. I’m trying to be cheerful with Eva, but I just have a bad feeling. I don’t like how distant Logan was with me in his office. “What guy?”
“It was what’s his face,” Eva snaps her fingers together multiple times trying to jog her memory, “the hot young guy that plays a president on that one show and he cheats on his wife with an intern.” She motions at me as if I’m supposed to be a psychic and give her the answer. “You know, that guy.”
Actually, I have no idea who that guy is. I’m drawing a blank. Since starting the new job, I don’t watch much TV, and the only hot guy in my life is Logan. “I don’t know who you’re talking about-”
“Jake Goldwater!” Eva yells and slaps her hand on the table. “That’s it!”
I vaguely know who she’s talking about, I think I’ve watched a few movies he’s been in. I don’t think he’s anything special. “What about him?”
“Well supposedly, in real life he also heads his own company, Goldwater Productions.” She taps a finger against her chin thoughtfully. “I think he even owns a building several blocks from here. Anyway, he got caught banging one of his secretaries... on video.”
“Damn,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I’d hate to be that girl. She’ll be humiliated for the rest of her life.”
Eva gives a short laugh. “You’d be one of the only ones. There’s probably scores of women who’d sleep with him on camera.”
“Good for them,” I mutter darkly.
Eva bringing up Jake’s scandal hits close to home. The parallels are freaky. I’m not Logan’s secretary, but I am sleeping with him. It makes me feel ashamed that I just don’t come out and tell Eva. I almost feel like a fraud.
It would be nice to have someone to confide in, someone I can tell my doubts about Logan to. Someone who can tell me that I’m insane for staying with a guy, even if he is rich, that won’t commit.
Eva peers at me with concern. “Something wrong?”
“No,” I lie. “I just feel overwhelmed with all this work.” And worried about the direction my relationship with Logan is going.
“Aren’t we all.” Eva pauses and she looks like she’s debating on whether bringing up a topic.
“Speaking of hot bosses, there’s a rumor going around about Logan…”
“Eva,” I say, cutting her off. Here’s my chance to come clean with Eva. At this point, it'll be a relief. With all my doubts about our relationship, I don’t see a reason to hold back anymore. I just hope Eva doesn’t judge me too harshly.
She shakes her head, setting aside her bagel, her face twisting with shock. “Oh no, don’t tell me…”
“I’ve been sleeping with Logan,” I say super fast. There. I was right. I feel so much better already.
Eva’s mouth opens wide with shock. “Jesus, Charlotte, how long has this been going on?”
I tell Eva everything, about Vegas, about sleeping with Logan and then leaving him. I hold nothing back, and when I’m done, I feel even more liberated. “After Ian, it was so easy to just fall in bed with him. He was just so charming and… sexy. I couldn’t help myself. But now I’m worried that we’re…” Finished. I feel a lump form in my throat at the thought.
Maybe I’m just overreacting and it’s all in my head.
That’s what I want to believe, but deep down inside, I know otherwise. That Logan’s hiding something from me, I’m certain, I’ve just been doing a decent job in deluding myself that things will get better.
Eva’s shaking her head in disbelief and doesn’t seem to notice my last sentence. “No wonder he gave you the head sales position.”
“So you think that's the only reason I got the sales job?” I ask irritably. I thought Eva would be giving me relationship advice, not questioning my position in the company.
“Don’t you dare,” Eva says defensively, seeing that I’ve taken her words the wrong way. “You know I would never think so lowly of you. You’re a beast at what you do, and everyone knows it. That’s why Logan hired you.” The passion and sincerity in Eva’s voice make me feel ashamed for jumping to conclusions.
E
va shakes her head. “What I meant is that Logan wanted you, and seeing how good a sales rep you were, he made sure you’d work closely with him.”
“I’m sorry, Eva,” I say softly. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Eva waves away my worry. “It’s no problem. I woulda got pissed too and thought the same thing if I was in your shoes.”
She pauses and then gives me a look. “So is everything okay with Logan? You sounded like you’re having some serious issues… despite the good sex.”
I let out a sigh. “He won’t commit. He just tells me we should live in the moment. But I don’t know what to do... I think I’m falling in... falling for him. And I’m afraid that I’m going to end up...” My heart clenches and I take a deep breath. It’s so hard to admit.
Eva grimaces. “That’s… not good.”
“Yeah, and I’m not sure how much more time I should devote to something that’s never going to work out. Even if the sex is good. I don’t want a repeat of Ian, you know?”
Eva nods and makes a face. “Yeah, but ugh. It sucks because you’re at a disadvantage in this relationship. Like, he can totally get rid of you if you suddenly decide you’ve had enough and want to break it off with him.”
Eva isn’t saying anything I haven’t already considered, and it’s depressing. I’d like to think that Logan would never do such a thing to me even if we did break up, but then I remember Ian. I thought I knew him, thought I’d marry him and have his children even, and he turned out to be a totally different person than who I thought I’d fallen in love with.
When it comes down to it, I don’t really know Logan either.
“So what are you gonna do?” Eva asks, her expression deeply concerned. “I'm afraid to give you advice on this because I don’t see a clear answer.” She leans forward and takes my hand in hers and gently adds, “I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
The answer should be easy. Stop wasting time. Leave Logan no matter the cost. But when I think about leaving him, I feel overwhelmed. I don’t want it to have to end. Yet I hate being in this state of limbo.
“Charlotte?” Eva asks when I don’t answer right away.
I sigh and squeeze her hand before letting go. I take a bite out of my muffin, shake my head, and reply, “I don’t know, Eva. I really wish I knew.”
Chapter 26
Logan
My eyes are drawn from my computer to the large doors of my office at the sound of a loud knock.
“Come in,” I call out. I half expect it to be Rose even though it’s a quarter to five and I doubt she’ll be done with work this early. I want it to be her. But it’s not, it’s Trent.
As he closes the door, I stretch my arms above my head and sigh heavily. It’s been a long fucking day.
“Did we get it?” I ask as he slumps into the sofa and leans forward, his elbows on his knees with his chin resting in his hands.
He nods and says, “It cost us forty-three million. But we won the bid.”
I finally let a grin slip into place.
“We overspent, but it’s still usable,” he says.
I huff out a breath, the smile unmoving. It feels good knowing how badly I fucked over Patterson. And he’s going to know. There’s not a damn good reason for me to have bought it otherwise.
“Logan,” he says and waits for me to look at him.
I raise my eyebrows as he makes me wait in silence.
“Yes?” I ask him, finally leaning forward and giving him my attention.
“Are you alright?”
He hasn’t asked me that in quite a long time.
“I am.” I clear my throat and look at the clock and then back to him. “I’m fine.” I’m not fine. But I’m not as bad as I once was. I know that’s why he asks. I can run this company. He’s the only one who knows about my condition beyond my father. If it got worse, I’d tell him. I wouldn’t let the company fall.
“That’s not what I mean.”
I look back at him with my forehead pinched in confusion.
“It’s about Miss Harrison.”
“Charlotte Rose.” I feel my hands grip the arms of the chair. My blunt nails dig into the leather. “What about her?” I ask, my voice on edge.
“Is she-” he stops to look away and then back at me. “Is this serious?” he asks.
I wait a moment to answer. I know the truth though. It is. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. I want her. I need her to be mine.
“Yes,” I answer and hold my breath, waiting for him to tell me all the reasons we shouldn’t be together. Instead a smile grows on his face.
“I’m very happy for you, Logan.” He leans back and says, “I’d like to meet her; maybe outside of the office?”
I scoff a laugh and finally relax. I nod my head, looking back at the clock. “I think she’d like that. Maybe a corporate lunch.”
He lets out a laugh. “To think you have a life outside of work.”
I bring my fingers to my lips. It’s certainly something different. She’s something different.
“Does she know?” he asks. My breath catches in my throat as I maintain eye contact. I don’t want to answer. I can’t admit to him what a selfish prick I’ve been.
I’m saved from responding by a small, timid knock on the door. It opens before I can respond, and Charlotte appears.
She’s in a simple shirtdress that flatters her curves, and I can’t help letting my eyes roam her body as she hesitantly walks in. “Are you in the middle of a meeting?” she asks in a hushed voice, gripping the edge of the door.
Trent has a wide smile on his face and answers for me. I’m caught in a trance at the sight of her. As if telling Trent she was mine somehow made it more real. More tangible. Something I can actually have.
“Not anymore, we’ve just wrapped up.” He slaps his hands on his thigh and stands.
“I’m not sure we’ve met officially,” he says and holds a hand out to her and I finally rise to walk over and help introduce them.
She accepts his hand. “Trent Morgan.” She says his name with confidence and with her back straight. Her purse jostles as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to officially meet you; Logan has said nothing but nice things about you.”
Trent laughs and pats the back of her hand before releasing her and says, “He must not have said much then.” A small chuckle rises through my chest at his joke as I wrap an arm around her waist. It’s the first time I’ve ever held her in front of anyone. A small gasp leaves her lips and she looks at me, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear. Her eyes flash with surprise.
“I’m glad you’ve met her, now get the fuck out.” I say the words easily with a grin and he nods, picking up his jacket off the sofa.
“You two have a nice night,” he says as he opens the door.
“You too,” my Rose says in a slightly high-pitched voice.
She watches the door until it closes. And then she looks up at me and asks, “We’re an item now?” Although there’s skepticism in her eyes, her voice is laced with a hope I’ve never heard from her.
I simply nod. I don’t like that she’s questioning it, that she’s doubting me.
I understand, but I don’t fucking like it.
“Like…” She pauses and takes in a short breath before pulling away slightly and then looking back at me. I keep my feet bolted to the ground and wait for whatever the hell she’s thinking to come out. “Like people can know?”
I huff a small laugh and walk over to her, she refuses to believe me. “Yes. The world can know you’re mine.”
“Do you mean it?” she asks in a soft voice that displays her vulnerability. I hate that I ever made her feel so insecure.
I nod and whisper back, “Yes.” Her body relaxes somewhat, but she doesn’t respond.
“Do you want me, Rose?” I ask her, turning her in my arms and pulling her soft body into mine. “Because I sure as fuck want you.”
She braces herself with her small hands on
my chest as she looks up at me with wide eyes. She nods, and breathlessly says, “Yes. I want you.”
I crash my lips against hers in a bruising kiss. The need to claim her has my dick hard as a fucking rock.
I pull away and tear at the sash around her dress, desperate to get it off. Her nimble fingers unbutton her dress fast enough to save it from being destroyed.
I pull back to look at her. Her tempting body in nothing but heels, a black bra and matching panties. Her chest rises heavily with quick breaths, and her face is flushed with desire.
Fucking gorgeous.
She quickly unbuttons my shirt, not waiting for me to act. I reach around, undoing her bra as she kneels on the floor, unbuckling and unzipping my pants with a desperate need. She tugs them down and releases my cock. My hands fist in her hair as she quickly takes the head of my dick into her mouth.
I groan, but I don’t let her take any more. I pull her off and step out of my pants. She waits on the floor, watching me, but not for long.
I reach down and pick her up in my arms. Her lips press against mine and she parts for me. My tongue massages along hers and the air turns hot between us.
My fingers curl around the flimsy lace and I easily shred them and toss them carelessly to the floor, not breaking our kiss.
I push her back against the wall for leverage so I can move one hand off her lush ass and down between us.
I slide my dick between her folds and then roughly push into her hot pussy.
She moans loudly, slamming her head against the wall. I leave open-mouthed kisses along her slender neck as I thrust up and into her welcoming heat.
“Mine,” I groan in the crook of her neck. She whimpers my name as I quicken my pace.
One of her heels falls to the ground with a loud bang as her feet dig into my ass, her legs wrapped tightly around my hips.
“Say it,” I command her.
“I’m yours!” she cries out with her head arched to the side. “I’m yours, Logan!”
Yes! I slam into her over and over. Each time the wall shakes, threatening to knock the frames off the wall.
Hard to Resist: A Collection of Hard to Resist Romances Page 46