“Well, why can’t guys be truthful about who they like and not just lead people on?” I asked. “Why don’t people realize we all have feelings?”
Lucas stared at me and I worried he was going to come back with some smart aleck comment, but instead he nodded and said, “Truth.”
“I see my mom,” I said. “Do you want to come over to where we were sitting?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We walked over to the blanket and Mrs. Jenkins and my mother stared at me and asked where Nick was. I said he went to look for Simone and my mom raised an eyebrow.
“This is Lucas. He’s in Nick’s class,” I said.
We sat down and I offered him a peanut butter bar. Then I heard my phone vibrating next to me. I picked it up. Five missed texts from Nick. I checked them and he was asking where I was.
“Hadley, hon. Mrs. Jenkins needs to take her meds and Nick’s not back with the water. Can you run and get her a bottle?” Mom asked, handing me a five dollar bill.
Great, he let his mother linger near death without her medication to go rescue the girl of his dreams. Did I know how to pick ’em or what?
“Sure,” I said, and asked Lucas if he wanted to come with me.
We got the water and then I felt a hand on my arm.
“There you are. I was looking for you everywhere,” Nick said, looking concerned.
“I went back to the blanket.”
“I went by it and you weren’t there.”
“Well, I got a little turned around and lost,” I said.
“I was worried about you.”
“Did you find Simone?”
“No. I went to get the water when you ran off and then went to find you,” he said. “I know crowds make you nervous and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
My cheeks felt warm. “Oh, thanks. I got your mom some water.”
He looked behind me at Lucas.
“We should head back,” I said. “Your mom needs to take her meds.”
He was staring at Lucas like he had never seen him before. “Here,” he said, handing me the water bottle. “I’ll go find Simone.”
Lucas spotted some other friends on the way back to the blanket. “Thanks, Hadley. I’ll see you in school. I hope I didn’t make things weird for you and Nick. He seemed worried about you and I don’t think he was too crazy to find you alone with me.”
I shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Well, he’d be dumb not to be jealous. See you around,” Lucas said, and walked away. I wondered what he meant by that.
I gave Mrs. Jenkins her water and Nick walked up with Simone. She seemed irritated with him and made an excuse to go sit with Asia and Pilar by the fence. Nick rolled his eyes when she got up.
“How come you didn’t answer my texts?” he asked me when he sat down.
“I didn’t take my phone with me.”
“Oh, I thought you were ignoring me on purpose and I didn’t know what I did wrong,” he said, starting ahead. “Was it something to do with Lucas?”
“No, we just ran into each other.”
“Do you have a thing for Chase or something?” he asked.
“No. The first time I ever laid eyes on him was tonight.”
“Then why did you go on and on about how cute he was?”
Great, obsessing about Simone’s ex.
“I didn’t, I just pointed out why she was probably still into him. Why does it bother you so much?”
“Because it’s not great to hear when the girl you like is drooling over some other guy,” he said.
I hugged my knees to my chest. The fireworks were starting. At least everyone would be looking up at the sky and not at my face, which was contorting weirdly as I tried not to start crying.
“I would never talk about some girl like that in front of you,” he said. He was staring down at the blanket and not at the flashes above us.
“What?”
“I wouldn’t go on about how cute some girl was in front of you. It…never mind,” he said.
“Tell me,” I said.
“I mean, I get he’s better looking than me. I guess I somehow hoped you didn’t notice that.” He traced a circle in the blanket with his finger.
My heart skipped. He cared that much about what I thought?
I leaned over and put my hand on his arm. “I wasn’t checking out some guy in front of you. I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “I didn’t even notice him until you pointed him out.”
He looked up at the sky. “And then you began plotting how to slip him your number?”
“Nah, he’s too arrogant-looking for me,” I said. “And he would never go halfsies on a cookie with me. He’d eat it all by himself.”
Nick gave a tiny smirk and I lay back on the blanket to watch the fireworks. Pretty soon he moved back too and slid his hand over mine. We stared up at the sky, but I wondered if he was thinking about me or Simone.
Then he squeezed my hand. I waited a minute and squeezed back.
Chapter Eleven
The next day, Charlotte came over. While I waited for her to arrive, I sent Nick a text. He wrote me back, but all he said was Pilar’s grandmother had been taken to the hospital this afternoon.
Me: Is she going to be okay?
Nick: No clue. Someone said they thought she had a stroke. I can give you Pilar’s number if you want to text her.
I stared at her number on the screen. I hardly knew Pilar, yet I knew family was important to her and it seemed like she didn’t have anyone else to confide in when it came to that sort of thing.
I told Charlotte what happened and asked if I should text Pilar.
“Yeah, I’d feel super alone if something happened to my grandpa,” she said. “Definitely text her.”
Me: Hey, just heard your grandma was in the hospital. Hope everything’s okay.
Pilar: Thanks. They think she had a stroke. My parents are staying at the hospital and my stupid brother is about to go out with his new girlfriend. I hate being alone, but you can’t have more than two people in the ICU at a time.
Me: Do you want to come over? Char’s here now.
Pilar: Is that cool? I could have Kevin drop me off before he leaves on his date.
Me: Sure.
I went to check with my mom if it was okay and explained what happened.
“Sure, it’s fine. I’m going over to Grandma and Grandpa’s, so if you need anything, call me there. I’ll leave some cash if you guys want to order pizza. There’s not much in the fridge.”
Mom called in the pizza order and left as I sat Charlotte down.
“Okay, I want to talk to you about something before Pilar gets here. It’s really bothering me,” I said.
I told her about what I overheard in the bathroom and her eyes widened.
“Well, Simone is one of those girls every guy likes,” Char said. “Maybe he has a thing for her, but she has never said anything about him.” Then, realizing what she said, her mouth dropped opened. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”
“No, you’re probably right. Who wouldn’t like her? She’s funny, sweet, gorgeous, and outgoing. Any guy would die to go out with her,” I said.
“But he likes you,” Char said.
“Do you think they ever went out?”
She shook her head. “I think she would have mentioned it. Why don’t you ask him if you’re worried?”
“Hi, have we met?” I said, reaching out my hand. “I’m Hadley, and I’m not great at confrontation. And you are?”
“Ha ha, funny girl,” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes. “You said you can talk to him about anything, so just ask if he ever had a crush on her. He’ll say no and you can put your mind at ease.”
I shook my head. “I’d just look as insecure as I feel.”
“Okay, why don’t you ask Pilar or Asia?”
“Not Asia,” I said, and she stared at me. “Well, I wouldn’t want to put her in a funny spot with her best friend.”
The doorbell rang then and I let Pilar in.
“Hey, come on in. We’re just getting some pizza if you want some. It should be here any minute.”
“Oh, okay.”
I started to close the door when I saw the pizza delivery guy pull up. I grabbed the cash and paid him.
Pilar and I walked to the kitchen where Charlotte was setting out plates and glasses for us. “What kind of soda do you want?” Char asked her.
“Do you want me to make you some tea?” I asked. “I remember you having tea with your pizza.”
“Is that cool? I don’t do well if I drink cold stuff with hot food,” Pilar said.
“Sure. My mom just has English breakfast tea. That okay?”
“Sure.”
We sat down to eat and it felt awkward. I didn’t know Pilar that well and she and Charlotte didn’t speak much at school.
“So, any news on your grandma?” I asked.
“They’re running tests. My mom said they were told she can be moved out of the ICU now, but they don’t have a room available yet so she’s still there.”
“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said, her brown eyes watering. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to my grandpa.”
Pilar shifted, uncomfortable. “Well, she’s had a mini-stroke before and it affected her right arm a little and her mind, so I have no idea what this will mean for her.”
“Is that why she’s in a nursing home?” Char asked.
Pilar nodded. “She has vascular dementia.”
We sat in silence and I had no idea what to say.
“Okay, now I’ve made this all awkward,” Pilar said. “Can we talk about something to take my mind off all the crap?”
Charlotte looked at me. “Maybe you could ask Pilar about that thing you were telling me about.”
I wanted to kill Char. I didn’t want the world to know what I overheard.
“What’s up?” Pilar asked.
“I overheard some girls saying stuff about Nick and Simone, but please don’t let it get back to Simone that I was asking you about it.”
She nodded. “Sure, what is it?
I told her the whole craptastic story of what I overheard in the bathroom.
Pilar bit her lip. “Nick did have a crush on Simone. Like, a huge crush and he was devastated when she ignored him and went out with this other guy, Chase. I guess Nick told people he didn’t ask her out because she was one of his friends, but everyone knew he was in love with her and she only liked older guys.”
I felt like throwing up. “When was this?”
“It started when she first moved here and it went on until the summer. She kind of thought about dating him, but he was like a brother to her and I guess she was a little thrown by how crazy he was about her,” Pilar said. “Plus, you know she’s into older guys.”
I was his second choice. All the things he said about me, he had felt for her first. And what was worse? He probably still did, but he just couldn’t be with her.
“But honestly, I listen to how much Nick talks about you,” Pilar said. “Even Simone said he’s way more serious about you than any of his other girlfriends.”
Other girlfriends? How many had there been?
“Yeah, Simone even said he brings you up all the time. At first, she just thought he was trying to make her jeal…”
Pilar stopped. This was getting worse and worse.
“So he was in love with Simone,” I said.
“He was fifteen when it started, so what did he know about real love?” Pilar said.
“I’m fifteen,” I said, and then it hit me. I was the same age he had been and I knew I was in love with him, so of course he knew his feelings for Simone were real then. I felt crushed.
“Are you okay?” Char asked.
“Yes. No. Yes, well, no…is there any chance Simone has ever said anything where it sounded like Nick was one hundred percent over her?”
Pilar fell silent. “Well, he’s into you now, so there’s that,” she said.
How reassuring. Now I could go ahead and put a down payment on the wedding napkins with our names printed on them.
“I should have known the answer might be something like this.”
“If you’re worried he still likes her, you could ask him. Or her,” Pilar said. “If she thought he was too young then…” She trailed off. “I mean, she does like older guys.”
“Right, I’m sure she just sees him as being like a brother,” I said. “She said he was kind of boring. Actually she said he and I together were kind of boring. That maybe he just liked me as a safe choice.”
“Well, there you go,” Pilar said. “Simone never goes for the sweet, safe, nice guy. She likes the bad boy, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Unless her whole meltdown at the funhouse leaves her craving a safer environment—like this hamster in this experiment I’ve been reading about. The hamster went out to explore and got scared and now he always wants to play it safe,” Charlotte said.
Pilar and I stared at her.
“Well, that kind of fits what we were talking about,” Char said, shrugging.
“I guess. Anyway, do you have any idea who those girls were in the bathroom?” Pilar asked. “They might not even know what they’re talking about.”
I shook my head and said I never saw their faces.
“Well, the only guy she’s talked about last night and today was Chase. I’ll show you her last text. And see? She posted a pic of her and Chase at the fireworks last night. I think it’s safe to say she’s into him right now,” Pilar said, holding out her phone.
“Holy crap, he looks twenty-five,” Charlotte said, peering at the picture.
Pilar’s mom called her with an update from the hospital and Char and I went into the other room to give her some privacy.
Pilar came into the family room and said her parents were going to pick her up.
“I guess Grandma’s stable for the night. They’re going to keep her for a few days and then it looks like she’ll be going back to the nursing home,” she said.
I walked Pilar out and she stopped and turned to me. “Thanks for inviting me over. I would have lost it staying home by myself.”
“I hope she gets better.”
“Yeah, she won’t, but…I get what you mean,” Pilar said. “Like at least it won’t be a lot worse, huh? Anyway, I’ll watch Simone and let you know if she says anything. She has always had a thing for Chase, so honestly, as long as he’s in the picture, you’re fine. I’d be more worried about Reagan than her at this point.”
I nodded and she went over to her mom’s car.
***
That night, I got into my bed and stared at the ceiling. Common sense said to leave it alone and hope that what was in the past could stay in the past, but my gut said that my overthinking brain would never leave it alone until I knew the truth. I’d spend every conversation dissecting his words and trying to figure out if Nick still had feelings for Simone. I’d have to either address it with him or swallow my feelings—and neither seemed like a good option to me.
I picked up my copy of Celebrity Weekly magazine. There was a picture of Valeria walking on the beach with her boyfriend, the lead singer of the Sexy Lil Punkins. I knew he had dated several actresses before her and I wondered if she ever felt weird about that. Did she compare herself to his exes? How come no one ever talked about that? I mean, lots of people dated someone who had been in love with another person before them, so how did they all deal with it? Did they assume that love had died off when the relationship ended, or was everyone just walking around with a broken heart and feelings that weren’t being returned that they were shoving deep down in their core? I thought life would be perfect when I finally had a group of friends to hang out with and a boyfriend. Boy was I ever wrong about that. I was more confused than ever.
Chapter Twelve
Nick came over the next day to watch football. He and my dad were sitting in the family room and talking while I trie
d to get myself mentally together to go in there.
“Hadley, Nick is here,” Mom said, coming into my room.
“Yeah, I’m just looking for my shoes.”
“Hurry up, you’re being rude. I’m sure he doesn’t want to sit there talking to your father,” she said.
“Is Dad watching the game with us?”
“No, I told him he has to watch in another room, but I’d get down there soon before he asks Nick what his intentions are for his precious baby girl,” Mom said, laughing.
I sighed and walked downstairs.
“Hey,” I said, walking into the room.
Nick’s face brightened as he stood up. “Hi.”
Dad cleared his throat and got up. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to watch the game. I will be right in the other room should you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mr. Daniels,” Nick said.
Dad left the room and Nick furrowed his brow. “So no hug?” he asked.
“Oh, sorry. I was just thrown with my parents both home and all.”
I hugged him. He smelled amazing. Like the springtime air and happiness.
He handed me a Styrofoam cup. “I went to Scoops on the way here and got you an orange creamsicle shake. They were out of that flavor for the season, so I had them make one for you with orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream.”
“That’s so sweet. Thank you,” I said, taking a sip. “It’s so good.”
“So did you talk to Pilar?” he asked.
“Yeah, she ended up coming over.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh-huh, we had a good talk.”
“I talked to Kevin this morning. Last I heard their grandma is going to be back at the nursing home by Tuesday. They’re just keeping her for observation. There’s some damage though. Kinda sucks, but it was sweet you reached out to her.”
I got up to get us some sodas and snacks and he was staring at me when I came back.
“Why are you sitting so far away from me?” he asked. “Did I do something? Do I smell?”
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