“Have at it. Three is my limit,” I said.
“Oh wow, it’s like dessert for breakfast,” he said, taking a bite.
“Well, you only turn sixteen once,” Mom said.
I helped her straighten up the family room for the party and went to get ready. It was just the girls coming over, but I knew that meant tons of selfies, so I did my makeup and hair with a little more care than usual.
Charlotte arrived first and then Pilar showed up.
“What movies did you get?” Pilar asked.
“Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Just Friends, and Funny Face,” I said.
“Ooh, can we watch Funny Face first?” Charlotte asked.
I nodded and she opened the case and frowned. “They put the wrong movie in. This one is Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”
“Oh well. Put it in anyway. Maybe it’s a good movie.”
Asia and Simone showed up then and Charlotte turned the movie on. It was an older film, which made me think about Nick, but when Elizabeth Taylor’s face popped on the screen I felt queasy.
“She is so pretty. I love Elizabeth Taylor,” Simone said, grabbing a carrot stick off the veggie tray.
“Forget her, who is the guy? His blue eyes are amazing,” Asia said.
Pilar picked up her phone and did a search. “Paul Newman. And you should see the pics my phone pulled up. Even hotter.”
“I recognize him. He was on one of those entertainment relationship bios we were watching, Hadley,” Charlotte said.
“I don’t remember him.”
“I think you might have left before that one came on,” she said. “He and his wife were married forever and like best friends. It was kind of sweet after that marathon of crash and burn relationships we watched that night.”
“Crash and burn?” Simone asked.
“Super passionate and then they burn out and break up. Like all of Marilyn Monroe’s exes,” she said.
“Oh, she is my idol. I love Marilyn so much. You know, she and Joe DiMaggio were total soulmates. I bet they’re together now in heaven,” Simone said. “So romantic.”
Charlotte and I exchanged a look. “Well, she had a lot of up and down relationships. It was, like, all or nothing with her,” Char said.
“That’s because she has a very passionate personality. I mean, this Paul guy is cute, but who wants to be married to their best friend—boring! Give me a hot older baseball player who will pine away for me and send roses to my grave after I die,” Simone said.
Pilar mouthed, “Crazy” to me, and I shrugged.
“Can I have both? The best friend thing and the crazy passion?” Asia asked. “Is that too much to ask?”
“Yeah, and throw in Paul Newman’s eyes,” Pilar said. “Seriously hot.”
“What I can’t believe is that this Paul dude is not falling for Elizabeth,” Simone said. “She’s so gorgeous, how could he not be crazy about her?”
Charlotte looked over at her. “Well, the movie is sort of implying he’s not into women.”
“Yeah, whatever, maybe,” Simone said. “But he acts all annoyed with her. She’s a goddess. He should be so lucky that she’d even look twice at him.”
“Maybe he wants more than just a pretty face,” Pilar said.
“Whatever. He’s stupid.”
The movie ended and Asia suggested I open my presents before we ate. Charlotte gave me hers first. It was a journal with a Jane Austen quote on it that said:
“We have all a better guide in ourselves…than any other person can be.”
She had also stuck a bookstore gift card in the front cover.
“I love it. Thanks, Char.”
“Mine next,” Simone said, bringing over a large purple gift bag.
I reached in and pulled out the black and blue top I had tried on in Saugatuck. It had been over sixty bucks and I was shocked she had bought it for me.
“I went back and got it when you guys went to order food that night,” she said, smiling. “Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
Asia went next and gave me one of the MantraBands. It was the ‘Be true. Be you. Be kind’ one I had told Pilar I wanted. I wondered why Pilar told her about it.
“Okay, I’m next,” Pilar said.
I could tell it was another MantraBand from the size of the box. Did Pilar and Asia get me the same one?
“Which one did you get?” Simone asked.
“It says, ‘You’re My Person’. The box says:
‘When you smile, I smile. When you cry, I cry. What makes you happy, makes me happy. Wherever you are, whatever happens, know that I’m always with you. You’re my person. You will always be my person.’”
“Thank you. I love it,” I said. I couldn’t believe Pilar had chosen that one for me. She had truly become someone I could rely on and it was nice to see she felt that way about me as well.
Pilar held up her arm. “I have a matching one.”
It was then that I noticed Simone was no longer smiling. Asia got a text then and excused herself while we went into the kitchen to get food.
“So I guess I didn’t realize you and Pilar were so tight,” Simone said as Pilar and Charlotte were getting some salad.
“Uh-huh, we’ve become good friends,” I said. “She’s someone I can count on.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, good luck with that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, she’s not exactly who I’d lean on for support,” Simone said.
“She’s always there when I need her and always has my back.”
I could tell Pilar overheard me by the smile on her face.
“Great, that’s…super,” Simone said.
“Hadley? Can you come here for a minute?” Asia asked.
I went over to where she was and she took me into the hallway. She looked nervous as she paced and flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder.
“Don’t be mad at me, okay?” she said. “I told Nick to drop by. He just wanted to give you your birthday present. He’s not going to stay and make things awkward. This was really intimidating for him to even come here, but he said he picked this gift out a while ago for you.”
“Asia, I don’t know. Obviously I’m not over him, but maybe I’m too vulnerable right now to make a decision.”
“You don’t have to do anything other than go outside and talk to him for a second. You can throw it in his face if you want, but honestly, I wouldn’t.”
“Why?”
“He asked me what you wanted for your birthday. I gave him an idea, but he picked out what he wanted it to say. It’s…well, I kind of think you should hear him out,” she said.
My legs were trembling as I went to the door. A polite, civil text was one thing, but I didn’t know what this would mean. He was facing the street when I got outside and he turned when he heard me walk up. His expression softened and he looked sad and hurt.
“Please don’t say anything,” he said. “This was really hard for me to come here tonight. I-I haven’t felt right since everything went down. It’s like I’m walking underwater all the time. Sometimes I’m mad at Simone, sometimes I’m mad at you for not believing me, and sometimes I just hate the stupid universe for giving me something so great and then taking it away.”
I took a deep breath to try to steady my nerves and wondered if he could see my legs shaking.
“I’ve told you how I feel and I don’t understand how you could forgive Simone and not even want to talk to me. I thought we had something special,” he said.
“I thought so too.”
“Then why would you believe her over me?” he asked. He looked so sad and I wanted to throw my arms around him and just pretend it all never happened.
“I don’t really forgive her. I’m mad at her, but she just keeps…I don’t know. I didn’t even ask her to be here tonight. She just assumed she was invited,” I said.
“So you’re mad at both of us?”
“I’m disappointed in her,
but sometimes I just…”
“Hadley?” my mother said, opening the front door. “Oh, Nick, sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Come on in, hon.”
“Oh, thank you, but I’m not staying. I just wanted to drop off Hadley’s present.”
“You sure? We got cupcakes,” Mom said, smiling.
“I don’t want to intrude. I can’t stay anyway,” he said.
“I’ll leave you kids alone,” she said, shutting the door behind her.
“You were saying?” he said.
“I guess I didn’t expect that much from Simone, but I did from you. And sometimes I really hate you for what happened.”
I was shocked that had come out of my mouth. His eyes were wide and he looked as stunned by my admission as I felt by saying it.
“Wow, I didn’t expect that. I swear I didn’t do anything with her. If that’s the way you feel…I mean, is there anywhere to go from here or are you just…done with me—with us?”
My eyes were filling up and I was trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say or even how I feel right now.”
“I think you do. Please be honest with me. We have always been able to tell each other everything. Just tell me the truth.”
“You want honesty? How about I don’t know? Because I have no clue. All I know is I want to believe you, and part of me does, but then there is this other part of me that’s scared and hurt and hates you for doing this to me. I hate you for hurting me like this.”
Tears were running down my face now.
“You have to know deep down that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I can’t make you believe me, all I can do is hope you will,” he said, looking away from me. “I bought this for you before any of this happened. I wasn’t sure what I should do with it, but I want you to have it. Just please don’t open it until after I leave, okay?”
I nodded and he handed me the box.
“I’ll let you get back to your party. There’s nothing more I can say to you. Happy birthday, Hadley.”
He turned around and walked down the driveway. I wanted to run after him and ask if it was over, but it was like my feet were glued to the pavement. I looked down at the present in my hand and unwrapped it. Inside was another MantraBand, but this one said, ‘I Love You More’.
My heart felt like it was swelling up. I opened the card and he had written a short note:
Hadley,
These have never just been words to me and you’ve never been just any girl to me. I love you with all my heart and I would never hurt you. I hope that someday you can believe me and know who is truly in your corner.
Love,
Nick
I ran down the sidewalk to see if I could catch up to Nick, but he was gone.
“Hadley, please come inside. I understand you want to see your boyfriend, but you’re being inconsiderate to your guests,” Mom said from the doorway.
I stood with my back to her and tried to compose myself.
“Coming.”
I went to wash my face and try to get my crap together. I went into the kitchen where the girls were sitting around the table.
“What happened?” Pilar asked.
“It’s not a big deal,” I said. Then it hit me—if they were my friends, then shouldn’t I be confiding in them? But the problem was that Simone was there and I no longer felt comfortable sharing anything personal with her, and didn’t believe that anything she’d say would be in my best interest. I wanted her to leave so I could talk to my real friends.
“Are you okay?” Charlotte asked. “What did he say?”
“I’m not up to talking about it right now.”
“Yeah, it’s a happy occasion, so let’s keep it happy. Okay? Who wants a cupcake?” Simone said.
As she got up to get dessert I started to think about how Nick had never once tried to brush my feelings aside and how he consistently said he cared about me. He didn’t push me the way Simone was by buying me nice things to try to make it up to me or pushing me into going out with that Dylan guy. I realized that every time I had been around Simone, I had felt sick and uneasy and yet when he would tell me he was telling the truth, my gut told me he was. I kept dismissing it as me just wanting it to be true, but now I felt it was the truth.
We went into the living room to eat our cupcakes and watch Just Friends. My mind was reeling and I just wanted to call Nick and hear his voice.
“He is so friend zoned,” Asia said, pointing to Ryan Reynolds on the TV screen.
“Yeah, but sometimes you do want that guy to go out with when you need an ego boost,” Simone said, laughing. “Like, I feel crappy, so where’s the guy who thinks I’m a goddess? He always makes me feel better. Huh, why not?”
Pilar looked over at me with her eyebrows raised. Even Asia got quiet.
The movie ended and Charlotte asked what we thought of it.
“Ryan Reynolds is hot,” Simone said. “How could anyone friend zone him?”
Asia laughed nervously and Pilar smiled and said, “And that sums it up, doesn’t it?”
“Whatever. Do you guys want to watch the next movie?” Simone asked.
“You know, I’m super exhausted,” I said. “It’s been a long day.”
Asia looked surprised. “Okay, well, we can text my dad. Hope you had a great birthday.”
She gave me a hug and Simone suggested they walk over to her house. Charlotte got up to leave and I told her to hang on so I could pack up a cupcake for her grandpa. While I was boxing it up, I asked if she could stay longer. Then I told Charlotte and Pilar what happened with Nick.
“That breaks my heart,” Charlotte said. “He must have felt so vulnerable coming over here.”
“Yeah, that is kind of big,” Pilar said. “He has consistently said he was innocent and my brother has said a ton of girls have been interested and he hasn’t been talking to any of them.”
“Should I call him?”
“I would, but I still like Lucas, so what do I know about anything?” Pilar asked.
Charlotte giggled. “Yeah, call Nick. He must be so anxious right now, wondering what you’re thinking and how you felt about the gift.”
“Would it be weird to ask you to put it on speaker? Like, I know it’s a private moment, but I kind of want every detail so I can better assess it and dissect it for when you ask me what I think later,” Pilar said, laughing.
“Give me a minute,” I said as I called him. “It went straight to voicemail. Is he blocking me?”
Charlotte shook her head. “Why would he spill his guts, give you an ‘I love you’ bracelet, and then block you?”
“Yeah, unless you shot him down, I’d say he’d at least wait for a call. Try a text,” Pilar said.
“What do I say in it?”
“Write, ‘Thanks for the bracelet. I’d like to talk. Please call me when you get a chance.’ It’s short and simple.”
I texted him and nothing happened. We all stared at the phone, waiting.
“What the crap, Nicholas?” Pilar said, poking my phone with her finger. “He always has his phone on him. Do you have their landline number?”
“Yeah, I’ve never used it, but he’s called me from it before.”
I called the home phone number next and still no answer.
“Maybe he went out,” Charlotte said.
“He hasn’t been feeling well, so I doubt it.”
“Let me call Kevin. Maybe he knows if he’s out with the guys,” Pilar said.
Charlotte and I went to get another cupcake when Pilar ran over to us.
“Kevin said he was at our house when he got a call. The nursing home was sending his grandfather to the hospital and they couldn’t reach his parents. He’s at St. Mary’s with him right now. Kevin’s supposed to keep trying to reach Nick’s mom and dad, but their phones are off because they’re at an event.”
“Is Mr. Jenkins going to be okay?”
“Don’t know, but Kevin said if we want
to go up there, he’ll pick us up.”
“I don’t know. I mean, that might be too intrusive to show up like that,” I said.
Char shook her head. “If I was alone and my grandpa was in the hospital, I’d want somebody there who cared about me.”
Pilar nodded. “I agree. I would too, but you know him better than anyone, Hadley. What do you think he’d want you to do?”
I took a deep breath.
“Okay, let’s go.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kevin drove up and Char and I got in the back. I asked if he had heard from Nick since he got the call.
“He texted me once to ask if I got ahold of his parents. His grandpa’s in a part of the hospital where you’re not allowed to use cell phones, so he has to walk to another wing to call and he doesn’t want to leave him alone.”
Charlotte reached over and squeezed my hand. “Is he in the ICU?” she asked.
“Yup. You guys are going to have to lie and say you’re family to get in there,” he said, and looked at his sister. “Good luck with that, P.”
“Maybe I’m adopted, or part of the family is Japanese. I’ll get huffy if they question me,” she said.
“We’re there enough with Grandma that they’ll probably recognize you,” he said.
He pulled up near the emergency room entrance. “Do we go in here?” I asked.
Kevin and Pilar looked at each other. “We’ve been through this a lot,” she said. “We kind of know the drill.”
“Yeah, I can’t get you into a club, but I know what to say to get you in the ICU. And that whole two people in the room at a time thing? I got that crap covered,” Kevin said.
Pilar smirked. “Limited visiting hours? I laugh in your face. I’m staying.”
“Good luck,” he said.
Pilar went up to the desk and said we were there to see Mr. Jenkins and said we were his grandchildren. Then she started asking the guy behind the counter pointed medical questions about levels and stuff I didn’t understand.
“Do you know his oxygen levels?”
“I just handle the charts,” he said. “You can ask the nurse.”
Competing With the Star (Star #2) Page 15