I wasn’t quite following. “What would be easier?”
“I’d be able to shut you out and go on with my life, just me and my kids.”
Ah. So she wanted to keep them all in this protective bubble she’d built. “But I didn’t forget,” I said.
“No. You didn’t forget.”
“So now what?”
Rachel’s hand was resting on my chest, and she trailed her fingertips over my shirt—just enough that it tickled and made me want more, despite the fact that the present moment was absolutely and unequivocally the wrong time to want what it made me want.
“Now things get complicated,” she murmured.
I’d thought they already were complicated.
I guess I had a lot to learn.
I’d been racing around like a madwoman getting Tuck and Maddie dressed properly for the Storm’s Christmas party. We were finally ready to go—other than getting the buttons on Tuck’s shirt aligned with the proper button holes—when it sounded like the circus was gathering in the hall just outside our door.
In the weeks we’d been living here, I’d never heard anything close to that kind of racket. My kids and I were the exception when it came to the average residents here—most of them were singles or couples with no kids. All in all, the building was typically fairly quiet.
Easily half a dozen pairs of feet were stomping around out there. Probably more than that, truth be told. I couldn’t make out what any of the voices were saying, but they were all talking over one another, multiple conversations going on at the same time.
Tuck’s eyes lit up, and he showed off his missing-toothed grin. “Hurry up! Let’s go see what’s going on.”
Leave it to my boy to be excited about a crowd. He was easily the most social of the three of us. Maddie and I were far more inclined to keep to ourselves and stick around the house. Tuck always wanted to be in the middle of the action.
He’d hardly ever been more excited than he’d been at the game last night, surrounded by thousands and thousands of screaming fans in a jam-packed arena. I would have preferred it to be more like the Winterhawks game we’d gone to, where at least half the seats were empty and we weren’t crowded on all sides.
I hurried through fixing the last of his buttons and handed him his coat. “All right. Let’s go see.” We’d have to go out in the hall to leave, anyway.
Tuck raced ahead of me to the door, pulling his coat on as he went but getting it upside down so it covered his head more than his torso. Maddie hung back closer to me and reached for my hand. I undid the dead bolt and checked all around for Pumpkin to be sure he wasn’t going to make a mad dash for freedom as soon as I opened the door. No orange ball of fluff in sight. He wasn’t a big fan of noisy crowds, either, so hopefully he’d stay put wherever he was right now. I opened the door, and chaos reigned.
“Hi!” Tuck shouted over the din.
Two adults and six boys of different ages were crowded around Brenden and Jamie’s door. Several of them spun around at Tuck’s greeting, and I knew immediately who they were—Jamie’s family. The boys all had his out of control hair, in varying shades of blond and brown, and several shared his dimples and easy smile.
Maddie moved closer to my side than she already was, almost plastering herself to me.
The oldest boy was almost a carbon copy of Jamie, easily as tall, almost as solidly built, and every bit as adorable when he smiled down at Tuck, who’d completely abandoned me and Maddie to go immerse himself in this crowd of Babcocks. Jamie’s brother crouched down. “Are you the Ginger Ninja my brother’s told me about?”
“You’re Mr. Jamie’s brother?” Tuck said in awe.
“We all are,” one of the younger boys said. He looked a couple of years older than Maddie and had darker hair than the rest, more like their father.
“I wanna be his brother, too.”
With that, the oldest tousled Tuck’s hair and helped him sort out his coat. “From what Jamie tells me, the Ginger Ninja gets what the Ginger Ninja wants…”
Jamie’s mother smiled at me, and I attempted to return it. Since I knew who they were, I didn’t worry too much about turning my back for a second to close and lock my door. Especially since Maddie was still right by my side.
As soon as I turned around, I realized I’d left the door open too long. Pumpkin was making a mad dash for freedom. I barely got my foot across in time to squish him between the doorframe and my leg, hoping that would be enough to stop his escape. I only caught his back end, though, and in no time he fought his way free and dashed down the hallway as fast as his four legs would carry him. Even in his old age, that cat could scoot when he wanted to…and considering how much noise was filling this end of the hall, he really, really wanted to. The commotion created by my two kids was pretty much his limit.
Brenden seemingly materialized out of thin air by my side, his warm hand coming down on my shoulder in a comforting manner. I probably just hadn’t seen their door open because of all the activity in the hall, but his sudden appearance took me by surprise.
“Come on,” he said. His voice soothed my nerves somehow. “You, me, and Maddie will go catch Pumpkin and bring him back. Tuck’ll be fine with Babs and his family for a minute, okay?”
The thought of leaving one of my kids alone with a huge crowd of strangers ate at me on the inside. But it was Tuck, who positively adored all the attention he was getting from them. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Jamie, too, had made his way out into the hall with his family and was right by Tuck’s side. I may not know Jamie’s family, but I did know him. Tuck would be okay.
“All right,” I finally conceded, mainly because I couldn’t think of any better way of going about it. If I made Tuck come with us, he’d be devastated that he wasn’t with all of Jamie’s brothers. I pulled my door closed and took Maddie’s hand. “Jamie?” I said loud enough to get his attention. “We have to go catch Pumpkin.”
He nodded. “We’ll keep an eye on Tuck for you.”
With that, the three of us made our way off in the direction Pumpkin had run. When we came to the end of the hallway, I looked both directions. To the right, there were only a few doors and then a stairwell going both up and down. The left was a considerably longer hall, and it led to another hallway parallel to ours.
“What do you think, Maddie?” I asked. “Did he take the stairs or go the other way?”
“The other way,” she said decisively. “He doesn’t like jumping up and down much anymore ’cause of his hips. I bet the stairs scared him.”
She was probably right. In recent years, he’d started getting arthritis. I’d even bought him a set of steps that we kept by Maddie’s bed, so he could get up easier. A few steps he could handle…but a whole flight of them would be intimidating.
We’d barely turned to the left when I saw a streak of orange race past us.
“Good guess,” Brenden said.
We moved quickly to the end and turned the corner. Pumpkin had already sped to the far end of the hallway and was flying back toward us. It looked like he just wanted to run. Every now and then, he still got a dose of the kitty crazies, where he bounced off the walls like he had back when he was a kitten. It always gave Tuck a giggle-fit when Pumpkin did that. The trick now was catching him and getting him back to our place.
Since he was headed our way, we slowed down and let him come to us. “Be ready to block him if he tries to dart past us,” I warned.
It turned out that wasn’t necessary. Once Pumpkin got within spitting distance of us, he skidded to a stop and hissed at Brenden. That gave Maddie enough time to move over to him and pick him up.
Once he was in her arms, he instantly started purring—loud enough that we could hear it over the ruckus back by our doors. When we turned around to head back, Maddie moved in front of us with Pumpkin, his fluffy tail wrapping around her back.
Brenden reached down and took my hand, the heat of his palm somehow warming my whole body. “Do you and the
kids know how to skate? One of the things we’ll do today is get everyone out on the ice. It’s a lot of fun for the guys to get their families out there.”
Jim had told me there would be skating, but I hadn’t thought too much about how I would be able to help my kids to do it. “No,” I said after a minute. “There wasn’t much opportunity for ice-skating in Texas.” There were a few rinks but none very close to us. And they had cost money I couldn’t justify spending back then. Even taking them roller skating had been something I had to pass up, more often than not.
“Babs and his brothers can help Tuck. They all play hockey, too. That’s what kids do in Canada. And I called my sister this morning. Dana skates better than half the guys on the team. She’ll be happy to help Maddie skate today, if that’s okay.”
His sister. The one who’d been raped. If there was anyone who would understand what Maddie was going through, it would be her. I blinked back tears, but I couldn’t say anything without potentially crying again. After I’d blubbered all over him last night and then told him I didn’t think I could push him away anymore, I wasn’t sure how things would be between us. Apparently he didn’t have any intention of letting me go back to the way it was before.
“And if she doesn’t want to skate, we can pull her around on a sled or something. She can still have fun.”
I hadn’t quite told him I’d go out with him. Not in so many words. But I was losing the will to keep him at a distance. The way he’d thought to look after Maddie like this today pretty much dissolved any internal arguments I might have had left against him. I already knew she liked him because he took care of me—but now he was melting me, because he was taking care of my little girl in ways I never could have imagined.
“Thank you,” I whispered just as we got back to my door.
I opened it, and Maddie tossed Pumpkin inside. We closed it again quickly, before he could make another effort at escape, and I dug my key out of my pocket and locked it.
When I turned around, I burst out laughing. Tuck was up on Jamie’s shoulders, a red cape hanging down from his shoulders, some silly eye mask haphazardly obscuring his eyes, and both fists raised in the air while the boys chanted, “Ginger Ninja! Ginger Ninja!”
They’d officially made him a superhero. He’d never be just a little boy again.
As soon as we arrived at the practice facility, Tuck jumped out of Brenden’s SUV and raced over to where Jamie and his brothers were all piling out of his car and his parents’ rented van, his cape flying out behind him. I didn’t try to stop him. There wasn’t much hope of containing his exuberance on a day like this.
Instead, I took Maddie’s hand when she climbed down from the backseat. I could feel her nerves coming through in the way she held onto me. There were going to be a lot of strangers here today. I hoped she’d be able to settle down a little once we got inside and she saw a few more people she’d at least met before.
Tuck and the Babcock boys flooded into the building like a crashing wave, with Jamie’s parents following a bit more sedately behind them.
Brenden smiled as he came around from the other side of the SUV, and it was nearly enough to steal my breath. He had a gym bag slung over one shoulder as he reached for my other hand.
I hesitated for just a minute before taking it because we were going into my place of work—and his, too. Holding his hand going in there made it seem like we were taking things to the next level, almost like we were announcing to the world that we were… What were we? A couple? I wasn’t quite sure.
All of that kept racing through my mind as we walked hand in hand into the building, but however confused I might be, I didn’t let it stop me from connecting with him in this way. It felt good, his strong hand closed around mine. For now, that would have to be reason enough for me to allow it. I could analyze it all later, sometime when I was alone and the kids were asleep—some night when I was lying in my bed trying to sort out my life.
We’d almost made it inside when Brenden’s name was shouted from the parking garage behind us. The three of us turned around to see his sister and Eric Zellinger jogging our way to catch up.
“Hi, Rachel,” Dana said. She wasn’t even winded. I nodded, but her attention was already leaving me. “Hey, Maddie. Brenden told me you’ve never been skating before. He wants to be the one to teach you, but girls don’t need boys to teach us anything, right? So I wondered if maybe you’d skate with me today. We can leave the boys in our dust.”
I swallowed hard, a little overcome with emotion because she’d thought to make it seem like she really wanted to do it. Like it could be girl-bonding time—something Maddie hadn’t really ever done much of.
“I’m the better skater, Maddie,” Brenden said. “Don’t be fooled by my sister’s bragging. If you want to learn from the best, you need to learn from me.”
“Now he’s lying to you,” Eric said. “Dana’s been flying past him for years.”
Maddie blushed from all the attention, but a shy smile was trying to peek through. Then she looked up at me. “Can I, Mommy? Skate with Miss Dana?”
Brenden staggered and clutched a hand to his heart, making a sound like she’d mortally wounded him. Maddie giggled.
I nodded, a little bit amazed. I hadn’t heard my daughter giggle like that in months—maybe years. She had only met Dana once before. It wasn’t like her to trust so soon—but maybe some of that was because of me. “Go have fun,” I said, once I found my voice again.
Just like that, she let go of my hand and took the one Dana held out to her, and they went on ahead of us. “I’ll have to see if my parents can find one of my old jerseys for you, since I’m the better skater,” Dana said as they left.
“You play hockey, too?” The awe in Maddie’s voice echoed through the parking garage. “I thought it was a boy’s game.”
Brenden squeezed my hand, like he knew the myriad emotions racing through me at the moment. And maybe he did. “You all right?” he asked.
I wasn’t even close to all right. I was shocked and scared and proud and hopeful and a warring jumble of a thousand other things all at once. But I said, “Yeah.”
“Liar.” He laughed while he said it, though. “One of these days you’re going to learn that I can see right through you.”
He started walking toward the doors Maddie and Dana had just disappeared through, so I forced myself to move my feet and keep up with him.
Eric started moving beside us, but then he stopped all of a sudden. “Soupy? I need a favor.”
Brenden’s hand tensed in mine, but he stopped. “Yeah?”
“Actually from both of you,” Eric said, looking at me.
I couldn’t think of any sort of favor I could do for him, unless he needed something from Jim. I nodded, encouraging him to go on, especially because his brow was furrowed and he looked as conflicted as I felt watching Maddie go off with Dana. Add to that the fact that a tic had started up in Brenden’s jaw, and the three of us were all a mess.
“I, uh…” Eric looked down at his feet and kicked a rock. “I was planning to ask Dana to marry me today. Out on the ice. But I wasn’t counting on having Maddie standing there while I did it.”
With every word out of Eric’s mouth, Brenden got tenser, more distant. It couldn’t be easy for him, considering all of Dana’s past, to think about her getting married…even if it was his best friend who was asking her. I couldn’t even begin to think about how I would handle it when Maddie was older, around the age when girls would start to date. I’d had my first boyfriend when I was fourteen. I was with Jason when I was fifteen, and we hadn’t been together long by the time he’d convinced me to sleep with him. Maddie was already eight—it was hard to imagine she was only a few years younger than I had been for all of that. She was still my baby girl.
But baby girls do grow up, and Dana Campbell definitely had.
“I’ll go get her,” I said. “I’ll tell her I need—”
“Let her have some fun, Rachel,” Bre
nden interrupted.
“I don’t want you to go get her now,” Eric said. He smiled at me. He had a ready smile, natural. It was easy to see why he and Brenden had been friends for so long, even if it was equally easy to understand how things might be strained between them these days. “This will be good for her. Just maybe after a while you could find a reason to need her for something…”
I wondered briefly how he knew it would be good for Maddie, if he knew what had happened to her, but it didn’t really matter. “Of course I will.”
“What if I don’t want to give you that chance?” Brenden asked.
Would he really try to stop Eric from proposing? I hadn’t known either Dana or Eric very long, and I definitely didn’t know them well, but even I could see how happy she was, how much they loved each other.
Eric pierced Brenden with a stare I would never want to be on the receiving end of. “Then I’ll ask her tonight, after we go home. Or I’ll wait until your parents get here on Monday and ask her at the airport when we pick them up. Or I’ll wake her up with a ring on Christmas morning and ask her to marry me. I’m going to fucking ask her whether you’re happy about it or not.” Then he looked over at me sheepishly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have cursed in front of you.”
I shook my head, ready to tell him not to worry about it, but Brenden’s voice cut me off.
“Damn right, you’re going to fucking ask her. We’ll distract Maddie in about an hour. It better be a real fucking ring this time.”
I hadn’t even begun to process all of that when Brenden spun around and took off walking, and I had to hurry to keep up with him. We passed Nicky Ericsson at the entrance, but I barely had a chance to wave hello because Brenden seemed like he was trying to put as much distance between himself and Eric as he possibly could.
“Took him fucking long enough,” he muttered beneath his breath once we got into the practice arena.
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