I watched them instead of the game—but my thoughts kept straying to my kids and what I would do if one of them got sick with something life-threatening like cancer. How would I handle that alone? It would be hard enough for Laura and Dave to deal with it together, to be strong for each other and for Katie. But alone? The thought of it was as overwhelming as everything else I’d been feeling since last night.
For the first time since I’d left Jason years ago, I felt absolutely nauseated at the thought of trying to raise my kids alone. And what would happen to them if anything happened to me? What if I was the one who got sick?
I was an utter wreck, and all my thoughts kept turning back to Brenden. To how he wanted to help me, how he wanted to take care of me and my kids, and yet I had seriously been thinking about closing him out of my life. Out of all our lives.
I ought to be doing the exact opposite. How often was I likely to run across a man as good and caring and protective as he was—one who would be just as diligent as I was about keeping my kids safe? Someone who loved all of us as much as I loved him?
Thank goodness I hadn’t broken things off with him yet.
When Jim got up to leave, he waved me over to talk to him by the door. “I’m going to bring Webs up here after Scotty releases the boys. I’ll stay nearby while Laura and Katie tell him, and I’m going to encourage him to stay behind on this road trip. Some things are more important than a game.”
That was just one more reason I was coming to love working for this man. He always saw the bigger picture and always looked deeper than the surface. I had to wonder how much deeper than the surface he could see when it came to me and Brenden—particularly after we’d gone to lunch with him today, and I hadn’t even been able to bring myself to look at Brenden more than a couple of times.
I nodded and straightened my spine, trying to pull myself back together again. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“I know tomorrow’s one of your days off, but can I get you to help me out for about an hour in the morning?” he asked. “If he does stay behind, we’ll have to file some paperwork with the league granting him personal time and call someone up to fill his spot on the roster. I promise it won’t become a regular occurrence.”
“I don’t mind.” Especially if it meant that Katie could have both of her parents with her right now. That would put all of their minds more at ease. And mine—at least somewhat.
“Thanks. I’ve got to fly out with the team tonight, but I’ll call you with what I need you to do from the hotel.” He glanced over to where Laura and Katie were sitting with Dana and Sara again. “I’ll be back with Webs soon. You’re a lifesaver, Rachel.”
I went back to wait with the other women. None of us really paid much attention to the game anymore. When the final horn sounded, the Storm had won four to one.
Brenden and Nicky came over to our box not long afterward.
I walked straight into Brenden’s arms as soon as I saw him.
“Jim said to tell you he’ll be up with Webs soon,” he said, his voice gruff as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yes. No. I need to talk to you when we get home.”
“Thank God. Let’s go.”
“Not yet,” I said. “We need to stay right now.” I put my arms around his waist and held onto him as though I was afraid he would vanish if I didn’t keep a tight enough grip on him. He didn’t seem to mind, using one hand to lazily rub the tension out of my shoulders.
A few minutes later, Jim and Dave came in. Jim sat with Laura and Katie while Laura told her husband about Katie’s diagnosis. Brenden and I watched as Dave pulled them both into his arms and held them tight.
Brenden held me in his arms in just the same way, keeping me close, as though he could ward off any danger. “Do you know what this is about?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Can you tell me?”
“No.”
“Okay.” He held me just like that until the Weber family started gathering themselves up to head home.
He didn’t release me until Laura and Katie came over to hug me.
“Thank you,” Laura said, her voice still as watery as her eyes. “You were right.”
I could only nod and squeeze Katie’s hand.
Once they were gone I waved to Jim, who gave me a brief nod. Brenden helped me herd Tuck and Maddie out to the parking garage so we could go home. He held my hand as he drove, and he helped me get the kids settled. After I’d tucked them both in and read them a bedtime story, I went back to the living room.
Brenden was waiting for me on the couch with his foot up. “So are we talking? You’re not running me off, tonight?”
I answered him by crossing over to him and taking a seat on his lap.
He gave me a quick, chaste kiss. I was glad he’d stopped there, because I didn’t know how much I’d be able to get out otherwise.
“A strange man scared Maddie at the arcade last night,” I said. “Nothing happened. She went back to Jamie and Tuck, and everything was fine. But when she told me that, I freaked out. I was going to break things off with you.”
He opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I stopped him with a finger against his lips.
“I’m not going to do that,” I said. “I had it in my head that the only way I could protect her was to be with her all the time, and that meant never being alone with you anymore. Never going on another date with you. Not allowing you to be in our lives.”
The rapid, staccato beats of his heart pulsed in time with mine, and his chest was rising and falling with uneven breaths. His eyes kept searching mine, but he didn’t interrupt me.
“But something happened tonight that made me look at things in a new light. I can’t promise that I won’t freak out every time something happens with one of my kids, but it might be nice to have someone else around to freak out with me.”
With that, Brenden laughed—a big, deep laugh that nearly jostled me off his laugh. “Is that an invitation?”
“I suppose you could look at it that way,” I said with a cheeky grin.
“Then I accept.”
He kissed me, his hands cupping my cheeks and keeping my head in place. Even when he broke off the kiss, he kept holding me like that.
“I’m good at freaking out when it comes to the people I love,” he said, his eyes roving over my face. “But I can’t promise I won’t punch the next man who scares Maddie.”
“Can you at least warn me first so I can make sure the kids aren’t watching?”
“Deal.”
It was about time he made a deal with me instead of my kids. I kissed him again to seal it. All good deals should be sealed with a kiss.
I was still dripping in sweat after practice when Hammer came up to my locker stall.
“Jim said he needs to see you when you get cleaned up, Soupy.”
I felt every eye in the room fall on me, even though Hammer had said the words quietly. Today was a day every hockey player in the league dreaded: the trade deadline. No one wanted to get called in to the GM’s office. No one wanted their phone to ring with news that they’d been traded. Even after we went home, we would all be glued to the TV. Sometimes we’d find out we were on the move through the all-day trade deadline coverage before the GM could contact us with the news. It wasn’t uncommon to discover that a good friend and teammate had been traded because it flashed across the news ticker.
Trade deadline day sucked. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
I forced myself to swallow and dragged a dry towel over my face, trying to staunch the sweat. “Yeah, Hammer,” I said. “I’ll head up in a few minutes.”
The look on his face just before he turned and walked away was one of pure pity, which only served to piss me off. I didn’t want his pity. I wanted to stay here, with the Storm. I thought that I’d done enough to deserve the chance to do exactly that since I’d come back from my injury. I’d done everything Scotty had a
sked of me.
When he’d started me out on the fourth line, only letting me play a few minutes a game, I’d worked my ass off for those few minutes and proved I could contribute even with the limited ice time. I hadn’t voiced a single word of complaint.
It hadn’t been long before my play had justified him moving me up the lineup, and I’d been back playing alongside Zee and Babs for the better part of the last month. We were scoring, and we were keeping the other team from scoring more often than not. We were working as a unit, the three of us, and that meant I was doing my fucking job.
Most importantly, I hadn’t been giving Scotty any reason to cuss me out. I’d played smart hockey, taking what the other team gave me and not taking too many chances. I hadn’t reinjured myself. I was doing everything right, for once in my damn career.
The team as a whole had been playing really good hockey lately, and that was largely due to our line. We had worked our way up the standings and at the moment, we were hanging on to a playoff spot. It looked like the Storm was going to get back into the postseason for the first time in five years. That meant any moves Jim made today would likely be to improve the team in the here and now—not trading for draft picks or anything that wouldn’t pan out until sometime in the future. He would want to give us the best chance at winning he could. But did that mean I didn’t factor into the picture?
I hurried through my shower and got dressed. There wasn’t much point in putting this off. If he’d traded me, I might as well find out now so I could figure out how to explain things to Maddie and Tuck. Rachel wouldn’t need explanations, but she would definitely need time to adjust to the idea that I would be gone for a while.
I was just about to leave the locker room, but Zee stopped me.
“Hey,” he said. “It might not be what you think it is.”
“I know.” Not that I could think of anything else Jim might want to see me about, at least not today of all days.
“And if it is, Rachel and the kids won’t be alone. You know we’ll look after them.”
“I know.” Apparently, I know was all I was capable of saying anymore.
“Okay. Well, we’ll see you after. We’ll wait here.”
I nodded and turned to leave, but Webs stopped me right after I got through the door.
“I, uh…” He dragged a hand through his hair. “Today’s Katie’s first chemo treatment. I’ve gotta go to the hospital, so I won’t be around. To hear.”
“Shit.” I’d almost forgotten. Maddie had picked out a teddy bear to give to Katie and sent it with me. It was in my stall. “Stay right there,” I said without explaining. “Just for a second.”
I headed back into the locker room and dug through my bag until I found it. When I pulled it out, Babs had a funny look on his face, but he buried his head and pretended nothing was going on. When I went back out into the hall, Webs laughed.
“It’s from Maddie,” I explained. “I’ll text you later. Once I know.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Soupy.”
“Katie’s going to be all right,” I said. I had to believe it. He nodded and stuffed the bear into his bag, and then he turned toward the parking garage.
I made my way upstairs. Rachel was finishing up a phone call and frantically typing something into her computer when I got there. Jim was on his phone, too, with the door closed. I lifted a brow at Rachel, but she could only shrug her shoulders in response as she hung up the phone.
“You know I don’t know anything, and even if I did it should be Jim to tell you,” she said. But God, she looked worried. Easily as worried as I was, maybe more. I hated that for her, but there wasn’t a whole lot I could say to console her at the moment.
Jim opened his office door and smiled at me. “Come on in.”
I wasn’t particularly in the mood to smile at the moment, but I went through the doorway and took a seat across from his desk.
“If anyone from the Islanders calls for me, I need you to put them through right away,” he said to Rachel. “Take messages from anyone else, and I’ll get back to them as soon as possible.”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
He closed the door and crossed to sit next to me. “I’m not trading you,” he said.
“I— Wait, what?” That didn’t compute.
“I know you’re worried that I’ve traded you, but I called you up here to tell you that’s not going to happen.” Jim crossed his ankle over his knee and sat back in his chair. “I had a long talk with Scotty last night, and he’s finally seeing things my way. You’ve done enough to keep your spot here.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“The next step is for the two of us to sit down and talk about the future, but that’s going to have to wait for another day. My phone’s been ringing off the hook today, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to end anytime soon.” As if to emphasize his point, his phone rang right then. Rachel answered it out at her desk, and Jim waited a moment, looking through the window from a signal from her. She looked in and shook her head. He smiled. “You’re not going to steal her away from me, are you? I didn’t know if I could find someone to replace Martha, but Rachel’s handling it better than I ever expected.”
“I guess that’ll depend on what happens in those talks about the future,” I said once I could remember how to speak.
Jim laughed. “Fair point. Listen, I don’t want to keep you long, and I know you want to get out there and tell her she can stop worrying, so just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Yeah, thanks, Jim.” I got up and shook his hand, the weight pressing against my chest slowly easing. I headed for the door, but he stopped me before I could open it.
“There will be changes, Brenden. But not you. I don’t want you going anywhere.”
I nodded and headed out just as Rachel was hanging up the phone. I bent down to kiss her on the cheek. “I’m staying put.”
“Really?” Her eyes searched mine, back and forth.
“You think I would joke about something like that?” I laughed. “Really. I’m staying right here. That’s all he wanted to tell me.”
“Oh, thank God.” She slumped back in her chair, dragging the back of her hand across her forehead in exaggerated relief. “I didn’t know when I was going to have time to deal with all that paperwork.”
“Paperwork?” I shook my head and pulled her to her feet so I could kiss her senseless.
No sooner had I gotten my lips on her than her phone started ringing again.
She pulled away from me, giving me a sexy look as she picked up the phone. “Jim Sutter’s office. Yes, I’ll get him for you right away.” She pushed a button to put the phone on hold and called over her shoulder, “It’s the Islanders, Jim.”
“Got it!” he said as the phone rang again.
“I’ll see you later?” I said, backing away from her. I stuck my hands in my pockets and grinned at the feeling of the small jewelry box in one of them.
She nodded. “Jim Sutter’s office?”
Later couldn’t come soon enough. We had things to celebrate. Maybe a lot of things.
Catherine Gayle is a bestselling author of Regency-set historical romance and contemporary hockey romance with a New Adult feel. She’s a transplanted Texan living in North Carolina with two extremely spoiled felines. In her spare time, she watches way too much hockey and reality TV, plans fun things to do for the Nephew Monster’s next visit, and performs experiments in the kitchen which are rarely toxic.
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ON THE FLY is book 2 in the Portland Storm series. The first book is BREAKAWAY.
ne Gayle, On the Fly
On the Fly Page 26