‘That can’t have been comfortable.’
‘It wasn’t. There wasn’t room to sit down, so I had to stand there the entire time and be very quiet.’
‘And no one saw you?’
He shook his head. ‘I had to wait until the librarian went to the loo so I could climb out. But I missed Maths that day anyway.’
‘Didn’t they ask where you’d been?’
‘It was different back then. We’re talking about when I was thirteen, and that’s twenty-three years ago, so there were no texts home or electronic registers. I think I just told the teacher I’d been sick in the toilets or something equally feeble.’ He grinned. ‘My parents never found out.’
‘Did you do it again?’
‘Once or twice but then one day another boy went in there and got trapped. Apparently, he was desperate for the toilet and he couldn’t leave his hiding place because there was a staff meeting in the library directly after break, so he had an… accident in there.’
‘No!’ Sophia gasped. ‘He didn’t actually…’
‘He did. And after that, no one ever wanted to go back into the hiding place. The library never smelled right after that.’
‘That’s such a funny story.’
‘Is it a good-enough secret?’
‘I guess so.’
‘Well, I’m all ears.’ He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms and Sophia tried not to stare. The short-sleeved white shirt he wore as part of the hotel staff uniform was stretched taut over his broad chest and his tanned biceps bulged from the sleeves. She couldn’t believe she was sitting opposite him, let alone that she was about to share a secret that could tear her family apart. If she hadn’t been so desperate, then she probably wouldn’t have even considered it. But if she kept it in, she felt she’d burst.
‘Okay, then. And you promise you won’t repeat this?’
‘I promise, Sophia Bertoni. On my honour, I will not repeat a word of this to anyone. And you must keep my secret too. My parents know nothing about it to this day.’
Sophia took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled.
Here goes…
*
Sophia told Joe about how she’d dropped the box of photographs, as well as about how the letter had fallen out, and that she’d been torn about reading it.
‘The thing is, if the envelope had been sealed, then I probably would have just put it back in the box but it wasn’t and…’ She watched his face carefully for signs of disapproval. ‘Do you think I did the wrong thing?’
‘I’m no one to judge you,’ Joe replied. ‘I wouldn’t want to judge anyone in that situation because who knows what they’d do?’
‘I’m still doubting my decision to read it but I did and now I know something I can’t unknow.’
‘Oh dear. And that’s why you were upset?’
‘Yes.’
‘Is it about you?’
‘Not really. Well, kind of… because it does affect me.’
‘Do you want to tell me how?’
Sophia drained her glass, then put it carefully onto a cardboard coaster on the table. ‘The letter was from my nonna to my mother. It was about how much she loves my mother and always has.’
Joe smiled. ‘But that’s a good thing, right?’
‘Definitely. But I’m not so sure about the rest of it. You see, my mother and nonna have never – in my lifetime – had a particularly close relationship. My mother fell in love with my father when he was in Malcesine one summer. He’d been in England since he was a teenager and had come out to Italy to visit family and was travelling round for a few months. He met my mother in Malcesine, they fell instantly in love, then he persuaded her to return to England with him.’
‘And your grandmother wasn’t too happy about that?’
Sophia shook her head. ‘Not at all. She wanted Mum to stay here so she could see her grandchildren grow up, but Mum said she had to follow her heart. I think, from what Mum has let slip over the years, that Nonna was very strict and possibly even controlling as she was growing up. Mum did the natural thing, I suppose, and rebelled. Now I know what I do, I wonder if it was Nonna’s way of trying to make up for… what happened.’
Joe nodded slowly.
‘The letter said… it said that…’
‘Can I get you something to eat?’ Joe’s uncle had appeared at her elbow without her even noticing.
‘Oh! Hello, Mr Sidoli.’
‘It’s Niccolo, please… uh…’
‘Sophia. Pleased to meet you.’ Sophia held out her hand and Niccolo shook it firmly.
‘Are you hungry? I can get you focaccia con salame or perhaps panino con rapini?’
‘Oh…’
‘That would be great thanks, Uncle Niccolo.’ Joe nodded. ‘In fact, I’ll get it.’
Sophia watched as Niccolo placed a hand on Joe’s shoulder. ‘No you won’t. You will stay here and speak to this beautiful woman. I will bring your food shortly.’ He winked at Sophia and she smiled in return.
‘That’s very kind of your uncle. I didn’t want to be any trouble.’
‘He’s always the same,’ Joe said. ‘He’d do anything for anyone. That’s why guests return year after year.’
Niccolo was back within minutes carrying a plate of foccacia stuffed with salami, a panini filed with rapini and a bowl of bright green olives. Then he returned with another glass of lemonade for Joe and a wine for Sophia.
‘Thank you so much,’ Sophia said. ‘This is extremely kind of you.’
Niccolo waved a hand. ‘It’s no trouble at all. I like to see my nephew smile in the company of such a bella signora. And from a good local family too. Now I will leave you in peace.’ He flipped a bar towel over his shoulder, then approached another table and Sophia heard him asking if they had enjoyed their meal.
‘Eat!’ Joe gestured at the plate and Sophia realized that she was actually very hungry, so they sat in silence as she enjoyed the snack.
‘Mmmm. All delicious.’
‘And all local produce. The breads and the olives. The advantages of living in Italy.’
Joe helped himself to some food as well and soon the plate was empty. Sophia washed hers down with wine, then sat back. After finding out what she had that day, she shouldn’t be feeling so relaxed. It was probably due to the alcohol but she suspected that it was also due to how kind Joe had been. She felt as if she’d known him for much longer than she had. He was so easy to be around and she found speaking to him came naturally, not at all stilted or uncomfortable like it could be with some people. Joe exuded kindness and there was nothing judgmental about him at all. In fact, Sophia felt that she could probably tell him anything.
‘You’re smiling.’
‘Am I?’ She met his twinkling green eyes.
‘Yes. What’s funny?’
‘Oh nothing. I was just thinking about how pleasant it is here. It’s calm and quiet and I feel more relaxed than I have done in… well… months. Maybe even years.’
‘The lake can have that effect upon you. I’m not suggesting that life doesn’t have its troubles out here, because of course it does, but when you lower your guard and allow the atmosphere to permeate into your heart and mind, you can enjoy the benefits.’
‘You sound a bit like a tourism guide. Or a travel writer.’ Sophia laughed.
‘Well, you’re not far off the mark there.’
‘Tell me more.’ Sophia leaned forwards.
Joe shook his head. ‘Not tonight. You haven’t finished your story yet and I think you need to share it. Get it out in the open.’ He glanced at his watch and Sophia realized that his break was probably over.
‘I need to go.’ She moved to the edge of her seat.
‘No. Not yet. I was checking the time.’
‘I’m keeping you from what you should be doing. I’m so sorry, I—’ She went to get up but Joe gently took her hand.
‘Please stay. I want to help you if I can, even if it’s just by listening. If you go
now, you’ll still be worried and I’ll feel like I didn’t help.’
Sophia looked at their joined hands. His golden skin was cool and smooth, his fingernails nails short and neat. Her heartbeat quickened and heat flooded her cheeks.
‘Okay. But I won’t keep you much longer, I promise.’ She had to tell him now or it would seem like she’d wasted his time and he’d been so kind to her. She sat back down and Joe released her. She experienced a flash of sadness, as if some form of security she’d never experienced before had been removed. But then she met his gaze again and warmth filled her.
‘The letter was to be read in the event of Grandma’s death. I don’t think she wanted anyone to see it before then. Well, she wouldn’t really. It could change everything. It said… that she was sorry for deceiving my mother all these years but she did what she thought was for the best. Apparently, my mother is not her biological daughter.’
She paused and licked her lips. Saying the words out loud did not make them feel more real.
‘Well that must have been a huge shock.’ Joe frowned. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I think so. I mean, I wasn’t. I was quite upset… for my mother mainly, because what a secret to have hidden from you, but after reading the rest of the letter I can also understand why Nonna did what she did.’
‘Life is always complicated.’
‘Isn’t it just? Well it turns out that Mum’s birth mother was actually her Aunt Maria. She got pregnant after an affair with a married man and, of course, back then it would have created a scandal. The man didn’t want to know when she told him she was expecting his child and she was devastated, so she returned home. She hid her pregnancy initially, and after her father’s death, her mother was too ill to notice. Nonna and Nonno were already married so they claimed the baby was theirs.’
‘That’s one hell of a good thing to do for someone.’
‘In the letter, Nonna said that he was a very good man, an honourable man, and he loved Nonna so much he’d do anything for her. He knew that she couldn’t bear to see her sister suffering, so they made out that Nonna was pregnant and Maria basically hid away in the house until she gave birth.’
‘They were lucky there were no problems with the pregnancy and labour then.’
‘It’s how babies used to be delivered though, isn’t it? At home, with family around. My nonna actually delivered the baby. Then they made out to everyone else that it was her child.’
‘What happened to Maria?’
‘It’s so sad. She was distraught over her lover’s abandonment of her and, according to the letter, she went back to Verona to try to reconcile with him but he didn’t want to know. She never got over it and spent the rest of her life drinking heavily.’
‘That is very sad.’
‘I know. Nonna said it was her biggest heartbreak but she had to stay here to keep things normal for Mum. They always intended telling the truth but the years passed, then Mum fell in love and moved away, then Nonno died and the relationship between Mum and Nonna became more strained than ever. I guess that’s what secrets can do. Nonna said it just never felt like the right time. Besides, it was too late for Mum to try to forge some sort of relationship with Aunt Maria because she passed away years ago and Nonna worried that Mum would blame her for keeping it from her.’
Joe leaned forwards and took Sophia’s hand. He squeezed it gently. ‘Your poor grandmother, keeping that secret all this time. It must have been a terrible burden.’
‘I know. I feel so bad for her, but I also feel bad for Mum. She had a mother she barely knew and a father she never met.’ Her throat tightened. ‘I don’t know what to do now. Should I tell Nonna I know? Should I tell my mum about it?’ The weight of the knowledge settled on her shoulders like a black cloud and the feeling of being relaxed, that she’d enjoyed just half an hour ago, drifted away.
Joe stroked the back of her hand gently, then leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. His eyebrows met above his nose as he frowned. Sophia took the time to compose herself.
Finally, he spoke. ‘I’m no expert, Sophia. I’ve made my own mistakes and no doubt in my time will make plenty more. I haven’t exactly been an angel either. But I would say, looking at what happened here and the predicament you find yourself in, that honesty is basically the best policy. I’m not saying leap in and tell everyone everything straight away. That would be madness. But…’ He put his palms on the table. ‘I wouldn’t try to hide all this either. It’s too much for you to carry round with you.’
Sophia nodded, grateful for his advice.
‘Perhaps you should speak to your nonna about it first, then ask her to tell your mother. After all, it’s her secret.’
‘Yes, you’re probably right. But I’ll have to tell her that I read the letter and she’ll think I pried and—’
Joe shook his head. ‘To be honest, Sophia, perhaps this was meant to happen. Your nonna leaving the note in that box was hardly hiding it well. Maybe subconsciously, or even consciously, she wanted you to find it. Sometimes secrets have to come out and perhaps she wanted the truth out there at last.’
Sophia thought about what he’d said. It made sense. Otherwise, why hadn’t Nonna hidden the letter properly or left it with a solicitor or something? And she’d asked Sophia to get the box and hadn’t exactly seemed nervous about going through it. On the other hand, it could have been a mistake; Nonna was getting older and might have left the letter there accidentally. But she seemed so sharp that Sophia couldn’t quite imagine her making such an error.
‘Sleep on it, Sophia. It’ll seem clearer in the morning. But don’t rush anything. And if you need to talk to me again, I’m here. I’ll give you my mobile number too, just in case.’
He pulled a phone from his back pocket and Sophia added his number to her contacts then sent him a text so he’d have hers.
‘Now I’d better let you get back to work.’
‘Not until I’ve walked you home.’
‘There’s really no need for that.’
‘I won’t take no for an answer. Besides, I could do with stretching my legs before I spend the night behind the bar.’ He smiled and Sophia noticed how his eyes crinkled at the corners, realizing that the tiny white lines there were from when he smiled in the sun. Did he smile at many things? Was he always cheerful or did life make him sad too?
‘You ready?’ he asked and she shook herself from her musings.
They left the bar and walked out onto the patio, then down to the lake path.
‘Joe, thank you again. You are a good listener. Next time, though, I’ll listen to you.’
‘Next time?’ he asked, glancing at her as they walked and she winced inwardly. Had she been too presumptuous?
‘I meant… what I, uh, meant was that…’
Speak properly, you idiot! Stop blabbering.
‘Sophia, it’s okay. I know what you meant. We’re friends now, aren’t we? Our friendship didn’t begin well, unfortunately, with me knocking you over but you forgave me and hopefully I’ve helped make that up to you. Am I right?’ He paused and turned to her.
‘Yes, of course. You’ve more than made it up to me.’
‘Then yes, we must do this again. Meet up for food or drinks or a run, or whatever it is that friends do. I don’t know many people here and it would be nice to have someone to talk to who doesn’t frown at my stilted Italian.’
‘That sounds like a plan,’ Sophia replied, then started walking again. She breathed deeply of the cool night air, lifting her eyes to the sky where the stars twinkled like silver pins in a black silk pillow. The vastness of the universe stretched out above her. In that moment, life seemed so much more than the sum of her worries and concerns, than her new-found knowledge, than her walking home to her nonna’s house.
But she was also acutely aware of the man walking by her side. Of how much she’d confided in him that evening and how much she liked his company. She didn’t recall Lee ever looking at her the
way Joe had as he listened to her, really listened to what she was telling him. Did he like her then? Was this how attraction manifested itself? Excitement bubbled inside her.
But she knew she had to take care. He could be married for all she knew. She hadn’t even had the chance to ask him yet because he’d been listening to her.
But the way he’d called her beautiful and stroked her hand in the restaurant lingered in her mind…
She was still thinking about his gentle touch when they stopped outside her grandmother’s house and he leaned in close, then softly kissed her cheek. Whatever she’d said about friendship, it seemed that her heart and body had other ideas.
She drifted into her grandmother’s cool, dark hallway, with her heart beating wildly and her hand covering the spot where Joe’s lips had touched her, as if she could hold his kiss there and never let it go.
Chapter 9
Sophia tiptoed up the stairs. The silence of the old house was almost deafening compared with what she was used to at home, whether home was her parents’ house or the apartment she’d shared with Lee. Here there were no sirens, car alarms or music from the apartment downstairs – the latter didn’t happen often but when the rather suave guy got a big bonus, he liked everyone to know about it.
It was so quiet she could hear her own heartbeat.
But after being so close to Joe, it was not at all surprising.
How could he have that effect upon her? Just thinking about how good he smelled when he leaned in made her cheeks burn and she was certain she could still feel the imprint of his lips where they’d brushed her cheek.
Ridiculous, yet…
She was being silly. Joe had been perfectly nice to her, a complete gentleman, and he’d sat and listened to her as she’d offloaded. She was just confusing lust with gratitude. Yes, he was very attractive and, yes, he’d been pretty tactile, but then she had been without any physical intimacy for a very long time and was probably just allowing herself to drift into some whimsical holiday romance fantasy.
Joe was nice, but Sophia had her own life to sort out, plans to make and now this family secret to deal with.
Love at the Italian Lake Page 7