As she focused on slowing her breathing, the tension ebbed away and she was able to enjoy the balmy evening air, the sounds of instruments being tuned and the bustle of anticipation as people entered the arena and took their seats. Next to her, Joe was warm and solid, his presence reassuring. She pushed the sadness that bubbled inside her down and willed herself to just exist in the present. Whatever had happened before this moment and whatever happened after it, did not matter right now. And she was struggling anyway to marry the idea of a philanderer with the Joe she knew. He just didn’t seem like the kind of man to drift from one woman to another.
So when Joe held out his hand, she took it and allowed him to pull her closer. Whatever his reasons for having those photographs, he was a good man, she knew it deep down, and there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation.
But it could wait until tomorrow.
Because tonight was about to begin.
*
Joe held Sophia’s small warm hand in his and gently caressed it with his thumb. When he’d returned from the bathroom, he’d been alarmed to see her with her head in her hands and thought she was ill or upset, even regretting coming here with him. Possibly regretting their growing intimacy, that he was aware was more than just physical.
She’d said she was fine but he didn’t believe her. She’d lost the relaxed smile that she’d worn at the restaurant and in Juliet’s courtyard. The closeness they’d shared had somehow been worn down, not completely, but for a moment when she’d looked up at him, he’d seen something different in her eyes.
And it had hurt him.
It was his own fault, allowing himself to care about her when they didn’t even know very much about each other. He had things to tell her and no doubt she would have more to share too, but even so, he sensed a connection with her that he couldn’t recall ever having with a woman before.
Even his connection with Charlotte was different. But then it was a different type of relationship, so of course it would be.
But being with Sophia made Joe want more and more and more, of fun, kisses, food, travel…
More everything.
More life!
That was it. For the first time in years, Joe wanted more from life. He’d been made redundant and although at the time he’d been devastated, now he could see the advantages in it. It meant he’d been able to come out to Italy and to spend time with Uncle Niccolo, which he probably would have kept putting off as he had done for some time. It also meant that he had time to evaluate his future. He knew that he loved taking photographs and had been considering setting up a blog, but now he wondered if he could possibly work freelance; if he could sell his photographs and earn enough to live on. He also knew that he didn’t want to have any more empty flings with women he could never commit to, but to have a real relationship with someone he connected with on more than one level. But there was only one woman he could picture having that type of relationship with.
And that was Sophia.
They connected. Physically, emotionally and intellectually.
But did she feel the same? They’d agreed to keep things casual so would he scare her off if he told her this?
‘Look!’ Sophia pointed behind him and he turned. The sky was a gorgeous shade of pink, etched with orange streaks, and the horizon beyond the arena seemed to spread out, offering endless possibilities. ‘It’s breathtaking.’
He returned his gaze to Sophia. Her eyes reflected the twilight beyond the arena, her lips slightly parted as if she were breathless, and her hair curled around her face and down over her bare shoulders.
‘You’re breathtaking,’ he said, as he stroked her cheek softly and leaned in for a kiss.
*
As dusk fell over the arena, a hush fell over the crowd, then gradually, all over the arena, tiny lights flickered into life. Sophia turned to Joe to ask what was happening, but he handed her a small candle then lit it.
‘These were free. I forgot to pick them up on the way in, so went back when I popped to the toilet. It’s to celebrate the event of coming to see the opera and to commemorate a time when there was no electricity here and people had to rely on candlelight.’
They gazed around at the thousands of candles burning brightly in the darkness like stars in the sky. It was truly magical and, not for the first time since she’d been in Joe’s company, Sophia felt that stirring of emotion that made her eyes blur.
‘I’m so glad you brought me here tonight,’ she said as she snuggled closer to him.
‘Me too.’ He kissed her forehead gently.
As the candles burned down, the show began and for over three hours, Sophia was mesmerized by the huge golden pyramid on stage, by the extravagant costumes of the performers and by the incredible acoustics of the ancient arena.
She also found Aida’s story of love and conflict extremely moving and her emotions intensified with the performance so that goose bumps rose all over her skin and a hard lump settled in her throat. She discreetly pulled a tissue from her bag to dab at her eyes but Joe saw and, before she knew it, he’d enveloped her in a hug and held her to his chest.
When the end came and Aida and her lover were awaiting their death, it proved too much and Sophia surrendered to her tears. Joe just held her and gently rubbed her back until she managed to pull herself together again.
‘That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen,’ she said when she could speak.
‘I’m so glad you enjoyed it.’
‘Did you?’
He nodded.
‘But the best bit about it was getting to hold you. Although I hate that you were upset.’
She shook her head. ‘It was a nice form of upset. Just linked to how moving I found the performance and the atmosphere. It was so sad that they had to die for their love at the end though.’
‘Aida chose to be with Radames, no matter what.’
‘Like Romeo and Juliet.’
‘I don’t think all cases of true love have to end in tears though, do they?’
‘I hope not.’
Sophia shivered.
‘You’re cold.’
‘A bit.’
‘Where’s your wrap?’
‘In here.’
She opened her handbag and pulled it out. Joe placed it around her shoulders, then she released her hair and it tumbled down her back.
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
They got up and shuffled slowly out of the amphitheatre and Sophia held tightly onto Joe’s hand. The whole experience of being in Verona, going shopping and enjoying spending money, eating a delicious dinner at a delightful restaurant, then watching such a stirring musical extravaganza had left her elated yet exhausted. She wanted the evening to go on and on, yet she also felt that she could sleep on a park bench.
When they got to the car, Joe opened the passenger door then helped Sophia inside before getting in himself.
‘I don’t want tonight to end,’ she whispered.
‘Me neither. I’ve had a wonderful time.’
‘Does it have to end, Joe?’
He reached out and caressed her cheek.
‘I really don’t know, Sophia. Do you?’
She sighed as he turned in his seat and leaned over, then cupped her face, gazing into her eyes with such intensity that she felt as though she was the only thing he ever wanted to see.
Then she thought of the beautiful girl on the camera and doubt tingled at her edges.
Was this real?
She desperately wanted it to be.
‘I guess we’ll find out.’
‘I guess we will.’
He covered her mouth with his and everything faded away, except the beat of her heart and the sweetness of Joe’s kiss.
*
Joe locked the car, then headed down to the restaurant. It was empty with the lateness of the hour. He tucked his rucksack behind the bar then went down to the lake path.
He walked for a while, unti
l he reached a bench then sat down and sighed. What was he doing? All the things he’d been telling himself for years and one woman came along and POW! He was head over heels, letting down his guard and in danger of getting into something he couldn’t commit to.
He’d taken Sophia back to her nonna’s and it had taken every ounce of strength he had to leave her there with just one more embrace and one more long, lingering kiss. He wanted to spend the night with her so badly that it hurt. His body ached with the strain of holding back, with the building of desire and emotion that he experienced every time he kissed her and held her. He wanted her badly and that scared him because he also didn’t want to ruin what they had. Which was ridiculous when they were meant to be enjoying a summer fling, yet he was worried that if he slept with Sophia, then everything would become too real and one of them might get hurt.
What was he going to do now?
He had just enjoyed one of the best days he’d had in years. And it was all because of her. With Sophia he could be himself, he could relax and nothing felt forced. But there was so much she didn’t know and he knew he’d need to tell her. She deserved honesty and transparency; after all, she’d been through enough in the past, so he would tell her the truth about Charlotte and everything else. He would have to. His worst fear was that it would push her away, but if the alternative was lying to her then finding out she wasn’t interested in what he could offer her, then he would lose her anyway.
He couldn’t believe that after all these years he was actually considering entering into something serious with a woman.
But this wasn’t just any woman.
This was Sophia.
*
Sophia closed the door behind her and leaned against it, then slipped off her sandals and dropped her bags to the floor, enjoying the soothing cool of the tiles beneath her soles. Joe had walked her to the door after leaving the car out on the main street. He’d insisted, even though she’d told him she would be fine. She still had the rousing music from the opera stuck in her head, and the emotion that had welled in her there threatened to bubble to the surface again at any moment.
Then there had been the way Joe had wrapped his arm around her and kept her warm, the way his heat had seeped into her and warmed her right through. She’d somehow forced all thoughts of the beautiful blonde from her mind for a while, and just enjoyed being there with Joe.
She knew she’d have to give it proper consideration. But not until tomorrow. She just wanted to hold the images of her trip to Verona close and to treasure them for as long as possible. Soon enough, with the new dawn, she would have to surrender her temporary happiness and accept that Joe might already belong to someone else.
There was a noise from the kitchen. Her mother and nonna must still be up.
She went through and found them at the kitchen table, an open bottle of wine between them. They both smiled at her as she entered but their pale faces and the dark shadows under their eyes made her heart lurch.
‘Hi,’ she said, trying to keep her tone neutral. ‘How are you both?’
‘How was Verona?’ her mother answered the question with a question, a technique she often employed when she didn’t want to discuss something.
‘It’s an incredible city. I had the best time with Joe.’
‘Good!’ Her nonna nodded. ‘I’m so glad you enjoyed it.’
‘It was fabulous seeing Juliet’s house and balcony… then I rubbed the statue’s boob but there was a sudden storm and I got soaked… and we did some shopping, and had the most delicious meal, then the opera…’ She was babbling, her words trying to convey how wonderful a time she’d had but not quite managing it. And her mind kept drifting…
Joe’s arm around me, his body hard and masculine next to mine, his subtle aftershave fresh and uplifting as a forest after a rainstorm…
She looked up and blushed. Did they know what she was thinking? Could these two canny women tell that she was falling in love?
‘The opera is romantic, isn’t it?’ Nonna asked.
‘It’s wonderful. I didn’t know what to expect but the atmosphere, the acoustics, the candles and the balmy evening all just made it so magical.’
‘And the company too by the look of you,’ her mother said, a smile playing on her lips but her eyes were sad.
‘Joe’s a lot of fun to be with.’ Sophia nodded. ‘But what about you? Is there anything either of you wants to… uh… discuss?’
Her mother and nonna shook their heads and feigned interest in their wine glasses.
‘Everything will be all right, Sophia. It all works out for the best in the end.’ Nonna patted her hand, then stood up. ‘But now I need to get off to bed. My old bones ache.’
‘Of course.’
‘You have a coffee and talk. Sophia, you can tell me more about Verona in the morning.’
Sophia accepted Nonna’s kiss then watched as she hobbled out of the kitchen as if she’d run a marathon that day and was starting to seize up. Sophia imagined it had been pretty wearing on the two older women having to discuss such complicated and heart-wrenching matters.
‘How’re you doing, Mum?’ She covered her mother’s hand with hers.
Her mother shrugged. ‘Exhausted. Relieved. Confused. Wondering where we go from here.’
‘Does that much have to change? It’s just that she’s still Nonna, she’s still the same person.’ She bit her lip at the darkening of her mother’s expression. ‘I mean… I know it changes things but does it have to make a huge difference?’
‘Sophia, I’ve found out that the woman I thought of as my eccentric alcoholic aunt was, in fact, my mother. I never had a chance to speak to her as my mother, to hug her as my mother and to…’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I didn’t know her as my mother. She was a distant figure, a lonely woman who lived in Verona in a one-bedroom flat and who was always chasing after some elusive dream. Which was fine…’ Her voice cracked and she took a few deep breaths. ‘But only when I thought of her as my aunt. Knowing she was actually my mother makes quite a big difference.’
Sophia squeezed her mum’s hand. ‘I know—’
‘—But you don’t, you can’t, because my whole life has suddenly changed. I never knew my real father. According to… M… to Katherine, he wasn’t interested in knowing about me. That hurts. I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does. My whole identity has been thrown into question and I have no idea who I am any more.’
‘Oh, Mum!’ Sophia stood up and wrapped her arms around her mother. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She rocked her mother in her arms and let her cry. She felt that anything she said right now could be the wrong thing, so she’d take her lead from her mother and just offer any comfort she could. Because her mother was right, Sophia had no idea how this felt and while she could offer sympathy and understanding, she couldn’t really offer any wisdom, as she’d never been in that type of situation. It was also really strange to be the one offering comfort, as if their roles had been reversed by the discovery that Stella was neither mother nor grandmother.
That life was not as they had once believed it to be.
Chapter 19
Sophia walked the short distance to Phoebe’s office, trying to make an effort to notice the scenery, to smell the flowers and appreciate the beauty around her, but it was difficult. Seeing her mother so upset last night and knowing that her nonna hadn’t felt much better either, had led to a restless night. Life seemed to be such a roller coaster of good and bad times, of joy and sorrow. Just when she felt she was happier than she’d been in ages, something would go wrong and her mood would plummet again.
With family comes great responsibility…
She suppressed a smile as the thought ricocheted through her mind. Better to have a family with its ups and downs than to be alone.
But what about friendship and other things?
What about Joe’s mysterious blonde in the photographs?
She stopped outside the office and took a deep breath. She was here to b
e professional today and to help Phoebe. She would focus on that for the next few hours then, when she had procrastinated as much as she could allow herself to do, she would think about Joe and where they went from here.
‘Good morning!’ she called as she entered the office.
The blinds were still drawn and the only light came from the computer screen on Phoebe’s desk.
‘Phoebe?’
She couldn’t see Phoebe in the office itself so she hurried through to the small kitchen.
‘There you are!’
Phoebe was hunched over the worktop rocking from side to side.
‘Phoebe? What’s wrong?’
Phoebe turned to face Sophia and she swallowed a gasp. The usually flawlessly made up woman now resembled a scarecrow. She’d smudged her mascara, her hair was sticking up in all directions and she had what appeared to be chocolate smeared over one cheek.
‘It’s all such a mess!’ Phoebe said, as she peeled a silver wrapper from a chocolate biscuit then stuffed the biscuit into her mouth and dropped the wrapper on the floor, where Sophia could see at least three more foil packets.
‘Well yes it will be if you keep dropping your rubbish.’
‘No!’ Phoebe wailed, sending bits of biscuit in all directions. Sophia took a backwards step to avoid being hit. ‘Ith a meth…’
‘It?’
Phoebe waved her hand in front of her mouth as she finished chewing, then swallowed dramatically. ‘Not this place. The business…’ Her face fell.
‘The business?’
‘Yes. See, it turns out that Analise is actually pregnant. With twins! That was why she was having stomach pains. She’s on complete bedrest for two weeks because she was bleeding a bit yesterday apparently, and although I’m happy for her about the pregnancy, she’s decided she wants to return to Wales. She said she needs her family around her because otherwise she’ll never manage, so she’s asked me to buy her out of the business. And I don’t know if I can afford that right now. And… and the photographer I contacted last night in the hope that he might help out is busy, so I have no photographer for tomorrow’s wedding!’ She waved her arms around as if swiping at flies.
Love at the Italian Lake Page 18