‘So…’
‘So?’
They gazed at each other, drinking in what they saw. Sophia felt as if she could tumble into the luminous depths of his green eyes. They were so clear, so bright and piercing that she imagined if he looked at her long enough, he’d be able to see right down into her heart.
What would he say if he could see her true thoughts and feelings?
‘Do you want to go first?’ Joe asked. His Adam’s apple bobbed furiously; he was nervous too.
‘Me? I, uh, thought you wanted to explain something to me.’
He nodded. ‘But first I want to know if you have any reasons why you think we shouldn’t try and make a go of this.’
‘Of this?’ Her heart leaped.
‘Yes, Sophia. Of us. I didn’t come all the way back here just to be friends or to ask for an autumn fling once the summer’s over. Although I do want to be your friend but I also…’ He took a deep breath. ‘I also want more. Much more.’
‘Oh!’ She touched his muscular forearm, ran her fingers over his warm skin where the blond hairs shone in the sunlight. ‘I want more too. I’ve tried not to want you but there’s just something here.’ She patted her chest, then gestured at his. ‘Between us.’
‘That’s what I feel. But we need to clear the air and put all our cards on the table. Sorry!’ He smacked his forehead. ‘I don’t mean to use clichés but this is tough… you know… being so honest.’ His cheeks flushed.
‘Okay. Right, well…’ She bit her lip. ‘Here goes… I’m terrified of falling in love with you. After Lee and what he did and the way my life was, I know I can’t go back to that. I can’t allow myself to sink so low again, Joe. And I know you have someone else in your life and that’s why I pulled back. I can’t love you if you’re not free to be loved.’ She released a huge sigh then and shook her head. ‘Wow! I didn’t expect to ever say that out loud to you.’
‘I’m glad you did.’ He covered her hand where it lay on his arm. ‘Because see, the thing is, there is no one else for me, Sophia.’
‘But what about Charlotte?’
He laughed. ‘Charlotte? Well I do care about her a lot. But so I should do.’
Sophia shivered as if a cloud had covered the sun. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Sophia, Charlotte is my daughter. That’s what I was trying to tell you at the restaurant, before you ran away.’
Sophia covered her mouth. ‘Oh no…’
‘Exactly. But it’s my fault. I should have explained sooner. The thing is though, it’s not exactly the kind of thing you throw into conversation straight away now, is it? Hi I’m Joe and I’m a single father. I had a child at sixteen. How’s that for a good start in life?’
Sophia watched him carefully as she processed what he’d told her. ‘I wouldn’t have judged you for that. Lots of people have babies in their teens.’
‘Planned babies?’
‘Some do.’
‘Yes but it wasn’t exactly planned. It was an accident and although I will never regret my daughter because I do love her deeply, I wish she’d come along later on in life. Like, perhaps now. How many thirty-six-year-olds have a twenty-year-old daughter?’
‘She’s very beautiful.’
‘She is. But how’d you know that?’ He frowned.
‘I saw photographs on your camera.’
‘Ah… And you thought she was my other woman.’ He nodded. ‘But no, she’s my little girl… well not so little anymore. Also, I don’t mean to brag, but she’s intelligent, funny and kind.’
It now dawned on Sophia that the girl resembled Joe. ‘She looks a lot like you.’
He nodded. ‘She has my colouring.’
‘So things didn’t work out between you and her mother?’
‘It was complicated. Having a baby puts a lot of pressure on a relationship, especially when you’re that young. We didn’t have our own house or money or anything, and had to rely on our parents for help. Which did not make mine very happy at all.’
‘I can imagine. I think if I’d got pregnant at sixteen, my Dad and brothers would have killed the father.’
‘I wouldn’t blame them. But see… my ex-wife…’
‘So you did get married?’
‘Yes but it was very brief. When we were in our twenties. We’d split up then got back together and were desperately trying to make it work but it just wasn’t right. You can’t be together just because you have a child. It’s a recipe for disaster. And I found out that she never wanted me anyway.’
‘Oh, Joe, I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It’s all water under the bridge. Although, I say that but it’s all been a part of why I was afraid of getting involved again. She actually wanted my brother.’
‘Your brother?’
‘James. He was ten years older than me and everything I’m not. He was my parents’ adored son, the apple of their eyes, the son my father pinned all his hopes on. I was an accident.’
‘I have a suspicion that I was too.’
‘Really?’ He smiled. ‘What a wonderful accident. But your parents love you, right?’
‘They do. I’m lucky we have a good relationship. And my older brothers are fabulous.’
‘James was. I can’t deny that. He was a fantastic big brother and he took me everywhere with him when I was a kid. But it was my mother and father that let me down. I don’t know why but something there just wasn’t right – I often felt resented – and everything I’ve ever done has been wrong.’ He held up his hands. ‘I’m not feeling sorry for myself, just trying to explain. My parents were horrified when I told them I was going to be a father and I sometimes wonder if perhaps it was a subconscious thing. I could have avoided getting Leah pregnant but we were careless and, when it happened, I wasn’t even that surprised. And that makes me sound like such a jerk.’
‘You were sixteen. People do things when they’re younger that they’d never dream of doing later on.’
‘Perhaps. But I told James first and he helped me break the news to my parents. The disappointment in their eyes was dreadful.’ He shuddered. ‘But I felt a sense of rebellion, like, I’d done something James hadn’t and they had no control over it.’
‘So you said Leah wanted to be with him?’
‘Of course. He was older, successful in his career, and he had money and a car. She used me to try to get close to him.’
‘That’s awful. And she was so young.’
‘Too young for him at that point but I guess she thought if she got into a relationship with me, she’d be able to see more of him. It was a crush that became a bit of an obsession.’
‘Where is James now?’ Sophia asked the question but the fact that Joe had been talking about him in the past tense made her dread the answer.
‘After our wedding, he was killed in a motorbike accident. That’s another thing my parents blame me for because on the way home from the registry office, he was hit by a truck and killed instantly.’
‘They blame you for that?’
‘I know, it seems a bit much. I mean, I wasn’t driving the truck and I didn’t tell him to ride his motorbike instead of taking his car but still… if I hadn’t got Leah pregnant then perhaps we wouldn’t have been getting married that day and perhaps he wouldn’t have been on the motorway and…’ He sighed and hung his head.
‘Goodness, Joe, that’s a lot to carry round with you. But none of that is your fault. It’s ridiculous to blame yourself for his death.’
‘I’ve come to terms with it all. I had to or I’d never have survived. But my parents never forgave me. In fact, it gave them another reason to dislike me.’
‘I am so sorry. You don’t deserve that from anyone, especially not your parents.’
‘Some family relationships aren’t positive. That’s just how it is.’
‘What about your ex-wife? How are things with her?’
‘We’re civil. When James died, she broke down and confessed that she didn’t love me.’<
br />
‘But she’d just married you.’
‘Great timing, right? But his death shocked her into telling the truth. She told me that after she realized he wouldn’t be interested in her, she married me for Charlotte’s sake and because she didn’t know what else to do. But when he died, she suddenly had to confront the fact that life was short and none of us know what’s around the corner. So she left me and took our daughter.’
‘How did you manage?’
He shrugged. ‘I was grieving for James and dealing with my parents’ grief and everything just became such a blur. I worked hard to keep busy and saw Charlotte every weekend and, before I knew it, years had flown by. I did well in my career – well, I did okay but I didn’t exactly set the world on fire – and probably would have just carried on like that if I hadn’t been made redundant. It was, I guess, a wake-up call for me.’
‘I had one of those too.’
He smiled and took her hand, then laced his fingers through hers. ‘I’m so glad you did or we might never have met.’
‘You might never have knocked me over at the airport.”
‘You’ve healed well.’ He ran a finger over her forehead then her lip and his touch was so soft she almost melted against his side.
‘I meant it you know.’
‘What?’
‘When I said I believe in you. I wish you’d take the job here.’
‘I’d like to.’
‘And what about us?’
‘What do you want, Sophia? No pressure. Just be honest.’
She gazed around her at the beauty of Malcesine, at the ancient castle perched proudly on a rock, at the terracotta roofs of the pastel houses, then out at the lake with its secret hidden depths.
‘I’d like to get to know you better and to see where this could go.’
‘I was hoping you’d say that. But can you deal with a man who has a grown-up daughter?’
‘It’s not something I ever thought I’d deal with, but yes. If Charlotte is a part of your life, then hopefully, she’ll be a part of mine too. But what if she doesn’t like me?’
‘I spent years avoiding relationships because I didn’t want to upset her or to make her feel left out. I avoided anything serious with women because I knew I had to put her first. And because I never met anyone I wanted to be with… until I met you. Besides, things are different now. She’s grown up, she’s at university and she has her own life. It’s me calling her now asking her to fit her old dad in for a chat or a meal. She came out here for a week earlier this summer and we had a good time but I could tell she was keen to get back to her friends. And in answer to your question, she’ll like you. How could she not like you? Sophia, you’re amazing. I’ve always laughed off the idea of love at first sight, but that moment when I first saw you lying on the ground outside the airport terminal…’ His cheeks twitched.
‘Stop it!’
‘But on a more serious note, the moment I first saw you, I knew I’d never seen anyone more beautiful in all my life. And despite all my baggage and all my reasons for holding back, I fell for you. But I didn’t know if you’d want me.’
‘You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you? I mean inside and out. I want you too, Joe. Even though I swore off men after Lee. But you’re different; you’re special.’
‘It’s the same for me too. Now I know you, I see how wonderful you are. You have such a big heart and such capacity for love. It gives me faith again that life can be good. We could build something here. Together.’
‘Then let’s give it a go.’
‘We’ll take it slowly.’ He moved closer to her.
‘Very slowly.’ She sighed as he cupped her face and smoothed his thumb over her lips.
Then he kissed her and she surrendered herself to him, breathing him in as her heart soared.
Because now she could finally allow herself to love.
Now, she could allow herself to be free.
Epilogue
Phoebe tucked a cream rose behind Sophia’s ear, then leaned back and smiled at her.
‘I love that summery fragrance. It reminds me of this time last year when my life completely changed.’
‘I know, Sophia. I can’t believe you’ve been working here for a year. Time just flies.’
‘And it’s so exciting how the business is branching out.’
Phoebe grinned. ‘Because of you and your vision.’
Sophia reached for her bag, then applied a slick of lipgloss. ‘I can’t take all the credit for it.’
‘Well, okay then. It’s because of you and Joe.’
‘And you!’
They hugged.
‘Who’d have thought we’d be hosting a variety of events now?’ Phoebe’s eyes glistened. ‘Not just weddings but engagement parties, vow renewals and proposals.’
‘It’s how it should be.’ Sophia nodded. ‘You had such a great business already and the extras are just the icing on the cake.’
‘Cake?’ Phoebe’s eyes widened.
‘You got the cake for this evening’s proposal, right?’
Phoebe placed a hand over her chest. ‘Yes… Phew! For a moment there I thought I’d forgotten it but they’re delivering it straight to the castle.’
‘Phew!’ Sophia giggled.
‘And we had better get going.’
They locked the office then walked the familiar route to the castle. The sun was beginning to set and the sky had developed an amber hue laced with warm ruby streaks. The July air was balmy and carried the heady scent of flowers that bloomed in the hundreds of pots and window boxes in the town. It was the perfect setting for a surprise proposal.
Phoebe and Sophia reached the castle entrance, then walked under the stone arch. As they ascended the steps, Sophia gasped, because on each one a tealight candle flickered in a coloured glass jar, creating what looked like a rainbow leading up the steps. ‘This is a pretty touch.’
‘Special request.’
The proposals they had arranged so far had taken place in the castle grounds, at the harbour and on the ferry to Limone. But this was the first one on the castle terrace.
When they reached the top of the steps and turned the corner, Phoebe touched Sophia’s arm.
‘You know how fabulous you are, right?’
‘Don’t get all emotional on me now.’ Sophia shook her head.
‘You really are. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘I’m so grateful to you for giving me the chance.’
‘It was meant to be, Sophia. And now… I think something else that’s meant to be is about to happen.’
‘What?’
Phoebe gave Sophia a little nudge. She frowned at her friend. ‘What is this? What’s going on.’
‘Sophia just shut up and go take a look, will you?’
Sophia did as she was told.
Then she froze.
The terrace was filled with her family and the friends she’d made during her time in Italy. From every seat, they smiled at her. She walked forwards and saw her nonna sitting at the front, then her parents and her brothers, her sister-in-law Kaisha, who was holding her baby, and her two nieces who waved frantically at her. On the other side of the aisle, sat Joe’s mother and Charlotte. They both raised a hand in greeting and Joe’s mother even patted beneath her eyes with a tissue.
Over the past twelve months, Sophia had got to know Gina Lancaster quite well. They’d first met when Joe and Sophia had returned to London so she could sign the contracts for the sale of her apartment and, after that, Gina had come out to Malcesine to stay with her brother. Sophia had seen how wary Joe was about his mother initially, a bit like a puppy afraid of doing the wrong thing, but things had got easier with time and Sophia had done her best to help them to build a relationship. It was obviously different now that his father wasn’t around any more.
Charlotte was every bit as delightful as Joe had claimed and Sophia loved spending time with her. They’d even had a few days out together
in Verona where they’d shopped till they dropped, then dined on fine Italian cuisine. Sophia had found that she was able to enjoy the company of other women – her friendship with Phoebe had led to others and she now had a lovely circle of female friends – and she was proud to include Charlotte as one of them. Her life had changed for the better in so many ways.
Under the gazebo, stood next to the table that twinkled with what looked like a hundred tealights, was Joe. He was jaw-droppingly handsome in a white shirt and black trousers, and she shivered at how his eyes lit up as he gazed at her.
He loved her. She knew this.
‘What is this, Joe?’ Her voice was barely more than a whisper. She was almost afraid that the question would break the magic spell that she was sure everyone must be under.
He held out his hands so she went to him.
‘You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Sophia.’ He kissed her cheek.
She ran a hand down her white maxi-dress. ‘If I’d known this was about us, I’d have worn something special.’
‘This dress is special because you wore it when we went to Verona. I’ll never forget the fun we had that day.’
‘What, when I got drenched?’
He nodded. ‘You always make me smile.’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too. And that’s why I asked Phoebe to help me organise this.’
Sophia gasped as he sank to one knee.
‘Sophia…’ He took her left hand. ‘I have only known you for just over a year but during that time, you have made me so happy. From our first meeting at the airport, when I quite literally knocked you off your feet, I knew that my life would never be the same.’
Sophia blinked hard. She wanted to be able to see Joe clearly but emotion was welling inside her. Since meeting Joe, her emotions lived just beneath the surface, ready to burst out anytime something affected her. But she didn’t mind. After being closed down for so long, she was happy to feel everything deeply. It meant that she could love Joe unhindered by fear or reticence; she could love him with her whole heart.
‘I will be forever grateful that you gave me a chance. That you allowed me to be part of your life and that you believed in me.’
Love at the Italian Lake Page 23