Raashh Decisions (Xxan War Book 3)

by Brenna Lyons

“Six up to eight,” one reported smartly.

  “Three up to six,” the other followed in her wake.

  “Told you the seir’s musk was the key,” Tim gloated.

  “Record it all,” Rayn directed them. “I imagine Doctor Carew will need as much data as possible for his thesis conclusions.” There was a hint of a smile in his tone.

  “Ready to move to the nursery nest?” one of the attendants asked.

  Arren looked toward Sandy, whispering her name, torn between his duty to his mate and the same toward his daughters.

  “She won’t wake for hours,” Rayn replied. He looked over his shoulder at Arren, his expression solemn. “But she will wake. Sandy is strong and fighting.”

  “Marie was strong,” Raashh countered.

  “Marie wasn’t here and in our care at the critical moments.”

  Raashh was still for a moment. “True. I cannot argue it.”

  And he blames himself for that.

  Arren nodded to his seir and accompanied the women to the half-finished nest area. Already, they’d infused Raashh nest’s scent into the medical nest.

  Good. That decreased the chance of a tragedy like his own. At least they are female. There can be no loss of a Dominant in this case.

  In a daze, Arren followed the commands of the medics surrounding him, learning how to care for his premature young.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sandy took a deep breath, trying to right her senses before she opened her eyes. Throbbing aches in her abdomen had her reaching for her distended womb.

  The mound of babies wasn’t there. Memories of labor starting in the bathing pool rolled into ones of the thick, green amniot…and then blood coursing down her thighs.

  I lost them. Sandy didn’t question it. The room was too still and silent for babies to be within earshot. As still as a centuries-old tomb.

  That was too much for her, and she started sobbing.

  “Sandy?”

  She opened her eyes, gazing up at Daveed. Her mind made unwanted connections. I lost the babies, and Arren is in a killing rage. Visions of him locked in a cell were searing, and she broke down in tears.

  “Sandy? Are you in pain?” Daveed asked urgently.

  Excruciating pain, and only Arren can understand it.

  In the distance, a door slid open, and footsteps rushed toward the bed. Sandy turned her head toward the newcomer.

  Dr. Rayn.

  He scanned his gaze over the readouts on the screen above the bed, then focused on Sandy. “You’re in pain?”

  A hundred questions and statements fought their way toward her lips. At last, one emerged in a rush of sound and air. “I want to hold them. To…see them.”

  “The babies?”

  It’s bad. She nodded solemnly.

  Rayn checked the readouts again. “We’d intended to move you into the nest when you woke, but if you’re in pain—”

  “What?” Nothing he was saying made sense.

  “Are. You. In. Pain?” There was a demand for information couched in that.

  “A…a little, I guess.”

  He sighed in seeming relief. “Why were you so panicked when you woke?”

  Sandy pressed a hand to the soft patch of her abdomen, tears causing a lump in her throat.

  To her surprise, Rayn smiled. “You have two beautiful daughters in the nest with Arren. We had to move them to the nest for the healing scents and sounds. Would you like to see them now?”

  Catching her breath long enough to offer a verbal response beyond her, Sandy nodded.

  Rayn tipped his head to Daveed, and Sandy looked that direction just in time to see her brother-in-law untucking the blankets and sheet on his side of the bed. Whispers of movement announced Rayn doing the same behind her. Her face burning in embarrassment, Sandy resigned herself to the fact that being carried from place to place was still a part of her life.

  Daveed tucked the covers around her carefully and lifted Sandy into his arms. Rayn led the way out of her room and down the corridor.

  The door to the nursery nest they’d constructed slid open, and the lush smells of plants and clove filled her lungs. Sandy sucked in a deep breath, starved for the nest she’d only recently become a part of.

  As if she’d asked a question, Daveed offered information. “We hadn’t finished the nest yet. Raashh has been bringing plants up from the far corners, and allies have had scentless plants sent to aid us. More arrive every hour. The nest will be complete in days, at the most.”

  “Why are allies sending plants?” And what are scentless plants? “Is it a Xxanian tradition when a baby is born?” If it was, she’d never heard of it.

  His smile was grim. “Word is spreading that Raashh’s nest has two young females in need of a stable, healing nest. None of them dare send their scents into the healing nest for infants, but none will chance us remembering a failure to aid us when…” He shot a narrow-eyed look at her that said he’d be blushing, were he capable of it. “When Arren considers males to sate your daughters’ quickening.”

  That concept made the independent human woman in her balk. The idea of anyone choosing a sexual partner for her daughters wasn’t something she could accept without a fight. Arren and I will have to discuss that later.

  Daveed turned a corner on the winding path, and Arren was there, dozing on a dreaming mat, two blanket-wrapped babies on his chest. The breath caught in her throat at the sight of them.

  Her brother-in-law settled her to the dreaming mat next to Arren. He stirred and opened his eyes, then extended his hand to stroke his fingertips along her cheek.

  “How do you feel?” he whispered, seemingly intent on not waking their daughters.

  “Sore.”

  Arren winced.

  “But okay now that I’ve seen the three of you.”

  Sandy reached out and drew a fingertip along one tiny hand. Her daughter turned her hand and grasped on. Hard! Tears stinging her eyes, Sandy laughed.

  Arren smiled widely. “I know the names we talked about, but the final decision is yours. If you don’t think the names fit—”

  She motioned to them with her free hand. “Which one was born first?”

  “The one holding your hand. She’s slightly larger than her twin, but the younger…” He chuckled. “She’s our little fighter.”

  “Then the little fighter is Marie…Marie Janelle, for both of our mothers.” Raashh had told her what a fighter Marie was. They’d originally intended to name each girl after a grandmother, but this seemed more appropriate to her.

  “This one…” Sandy smiled as her daughter’s grip tightened again. “…is Noelle Joy.”

  Daveed gasped. “Joy will be honored.”

  “Noelle for your brother?” Arren asked.

  “Yes.” Would that upset him?

  “I’m sure he’ll be pleased.”

  Better yet, Arren wasn’t upset.

  Marie started to cry, and Noelle picked up her cue.

  “Just in time for the first feeding,” Arren noted. “Perfect timing.”

  Daveed rose and made tracks the other direction, leaving Sandy to learn to nurse her daughters. In moments, they were both latched on. Arren settled behind her, creating a chair of his body, his arms supporting hers.

  It was the very definition of family. I never want to be anywhere else again.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Two months later

  “I suppose there is one excellent thing about this situation,” Sandy offered brightly.

  A smile curved Rayn’s lips up, but he didn’t look away from the panel he was working at. “And that would be?”

  “I’ve always heard it’s easier to handle a single baby after juggling twins.”

  All human sounds in the room ground to a heart-stopping halt. She looked from face to face, noting the unease. Several of the techs glanced from face to face, seemingly seeking something she couldn’t name.

  The hair at the back of Sandy’s neck rose in warni
ng. “What?” It was the most she could manage.

  Rayn’s jaw was tight in some powerful emotion. He sighed and rose from his chair, looking a decade older than he had moments before.

  A long, tense moment passed in silence, before he started talking. “We’d hoped to avoid this discussion for a little longer.”

  “What discussion and why?”

  “Because it’s going to upset you, I’m sure.”

  Her heart hammered, and her head spun. Sandy eased back onto the pillow, certain now that she’d need the support. “Tell me.”

  “You can’t have more children. I’m sorry, but the damage was too severe.”

  A hundred little comments Arren had made while she carried the girls echoed in her mind. He’d been ecstatic about their daughters, but he’d wanted to try for a son someday.

  I can’t give him a son.

  Hundreds of questions tumbled and wrestled in her mind. Would he still want her? He couldn’t have sex with someone else, and she was defective and couldn’t give him the son he wanted. Would that make Arren bitter?

  Would finding out she was barren send him into a killing rage? Was that really why Rayn hadn’t wanted to tell her? Because Arren would be furious? Because his instincts would kick in and make him a danger to everyone around him?

  As always, the thought of Arren locked in a cell while he vented off the rage seared her. “Arren.” Tears stung at her eyes.

  Rayn covered her hand with his own. “Stay here. I’ll take care of it.”

  ****

  Arren looked up at Rayn’s approach, his heart stuttering at the doctor’s grim expression. “Something is wrong. Something is wrong with Sandy.”

  He didn’t question it. They were doing their weekly evaluation on her. Clearly, Rayn had found something that worried him, and that was bad news. Anything Rayn couldn’t fix was unfixable. Every Xxanian crossbreed knew that.

  Rayn motioned for peace, then looked toward Raashh. “Take the girls. I need to talk to Arren.”

  Without the girls. He thinks whatever it is will push me into a killing rage.

  Better that I’m not holding the girls, if that does happen. He handed the twins to his seir with a nod of thanks.

  Rayn motioned Raashh away. His seir snorted his discontent, but he went, taking the girls to the far reaches of the nest. When they were well away, Arren found his voice.

  “What is wrong with Sandy?”

  Rayn sat cross-legged on the grass. “I told you she would live, and she will.” He waved off Arren’s protest. “I was trying to hide the extent of her injuries from her, to avoid her becoming upset, but she broached the subject, and my oaths demand I tell Sandy her condition if she asks.”

  Arren’s ridge plates extended in frustration. “And what is her condition, Rayn? Since you have seen fit to hide it from me as well.”

  He didn’t blush or otherwise show signs of embarrassment at being called out for such a dishonorable move. “She can’t give you more young. Her womb was too badly damaged.”

  His heart ached at the loss…and for Sandy’s suffering. He’d done this to her. Not purposefully, of course, but carrying his young had left her unable to carry again.

  “Arren?” Rayn tensed, and Arren realized he’d come prepared to sedate him, if necessary.

  “You will have no need of the tranq pad. I must see Sandy.”

  “She’s very upset.” He pushed to his feet.

  Arren did the same. “I imagine she would be.” And though Arren couldn’t make this right, she was his mate, and it was his duty to ease her suffering however he could.

  “We haven’t sedated her. If you feel that’s necessary, we will.”

  “I hope that won’t be necessary.” But who knew how Sandy would take the news that she was unable to carry again?

  They made the distance to the exam bay in silence. Sandy looked up at their entrance, her eyes and cheeks swollen and red from tears.

  She’s shattered by this, and it is my fault. He’d pursued her. He’d made her his mate. Perhaps he’d even convinced Rayn to allow her to stay in the nest too long. Would she be able to have children if she’d been on SLAL when labor started?

  Sandy sobbed, and he rushed to her side, gathering her to his chest, at a loss for the words to comfort her. Broken words left her lips, and he fought to make sense of them.

  Apologizing. She’s apologizing for not being able to give me sons.

  “That doesn’t matter,” he soothed her. “We’ve brought two beautiful daughters to the nest. Daveed has provided the sons. The nest’s future is secure.”

  “But I’m—” She sobbed again.

  “What, Sandy? What do you think you are?” Whatever it was, it surely wasn’t true.

  “I’m…defective.”

  “No! You are not—”

  “I am.” Her throat bobbed.

  Something unsaid. “What do you think this means, Sandy?” Please, don’t let her withdraw from me. I couldn’t stand it.

  She didn’t answer him, and her throat bobbed again.

  “Rayn?” he inquired, certain that the doctor would understand the unspoken question.

  He nodded. “Room twelve is available.”

  Arren lifted Sandy from the examination table and went to the room Rayn had indicated. The door had been opened for them, in anticipation of their arrival. Arren used his foot to shove it closed behind them and took her to the wide bed at the center of the room.

  He knew what this room was typically used for. Mating. Some males worried that their human mates might require medical care during mating and asked for such a mating room. And that was before one took Zondra and Evan Duncan into account. Couples who required medical intervention to mate used such rooms, by necessity.

  Or the female who has spent nearly her entire pregnancy on bed rest in another of the rooms. He’d never seen her mate and had rarely glimpsed her…always from afar, of course. But the female had Rayn’s attention, just as Sandy had, which meant she was Xxan or a Xxanian mate.

  Once they were on the bed together, Sandy half-wrapped around Arren’s body, he forged into the sticky situation. “What is it you believe I think, Sandy?”

  Still, she struggled for words. “I…I don’t know.”

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I believe I made myself clear to you long ago.”

  Her eyes were wide and full of questions he could only guess the origin of.

  “I told you the most important thing to me. Nothing is more important to me than having you as my mate.”

  “Even if—”

  “My mother gave Raashh two babes and died as a result. You gave me two babes and live. Daahn’s mate gave him only one child. Half of the elders stranded on Earth only produced one crossbreed babe with a mate. I don’t think you understand, Sandy. You are already ahead of the curve, as far as Xxanian mating goes.”

  Her mouth moved as if she wanted to question something but couldn’t figure out what to ask.

  He drew her face up and sealed his lips to hers. At first, Arren believed she would refuse him. She didn’t. Sandy’s lips parted to his. After a moment, he pulled back.

  “I believe you have forgotten what you are to me,” he breathed.

  Sandy moaned as he went to work on her robe. “You still—”

  “Want you?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  Arren parted her S’suuhhea, then pulled up at his S’suumea. He eased into her body, mindful that she had suffered major injury two months earlier.

  Rayn had apparently healed her well. Sandy rose against him, making the delightful little sounds she always had to encourage him.

  The end came quickly. It had been too long for both of them. Arren reveled in the fact that she’d come for him.

  One lazy kiss led to another, then a deeper one. Hands trailed over bodies. In moments, he was thrusting again, staking his claim on his mate. As if she was intent on doing the same, Sandy grasped as his buttocks and whispered pleas for
more.

  “If the babies didn’t need to eat so soon, I would anoint you with my secondary this moment,” Arren informed her. “You are mine. Always mine.”

  She nodded. “The girls sleep for a three-hour stretch,” she reminded him.

  They did do it, once a day. It was a new development, and they usually used it to get an unbroken sleep cycle while the girls slept.

  He smiled. “I think we can pass on sleep this one time.”

  “Oh, yes.” Arren thought she was agreeing with him, until her body started contracting. She repeated it over and over as a mantra, getting louder and louder each time.

  Arren climaxed, his heart and lungs working hard in pleasure.

  In the aftermath, they lay, entwined together.

  Sandy combed her fingers through his hair. “That was so good.”

  “I wish we could stay like this,” Arren agreed. He did, but their daughters would be hungry very soon.

  She tipped her hips up, bringing his half-erect primary to full readiness again. “I think we have time for one more.”

  “I have heard the scent of sex makes for a happy nest environment, and healthy babies,” he agreed, already working to grant her wish.

  Sandy nipped at his chin. “Good. Then we’re going to use your secondary in the nest tonight.”

  “As my mate wishes.”

  Glossary

  Dominant- Xxanian males with Dominant personalities and larger bodies

  elder- the head of a Xxanian nest — this is always a Dominant male, usually the oldest and wisest Dominant male in a nest, even if younger males are stronger (“The elders” can also refer to all the older members of a nest as a group.)

  first- the first lover a Xxanian female experiences; this male is usually chosen by her seir when the quickening strikes or is decided by fate when a female unexpectedly hits her quickening in close proximity to Xxanian males (Xxanian Dominants will fight for the right to sate a quickening — to the death, if necessary — and the one left standing will be her first.)

  gran-Hauaa- grandmother

  gran-seir- grandfather